Holy mother of god this film is awful. I went with my eyes fully open, expecting a tasteless, crass assault on the senses, and I was in the mood for exactly that. Sometimes those kinds of movies are just what you want even if you come out after feeling like you should scrub yourself vigorously with bleach-soaked sandpaper and say a million hail mary's.
And this film delivers... half the package. It is crass and unnecessarily rude, chucking in a few c-words for shock value, a few boobs to keep the spotty teenagers (and spotty adults) happy, a bit of violence etc etc. But WHERE WERE THE FRIGGING LAUGHS? I chuckled about 3 times, and one of them was because I heard my mate laugh and assumed I had missed a joke (he was in fact, quite understandably, attempting to suffocate himself by ramming his head into his Pick N Mix).
There were a couple of promising moments in the opening scenes which I can't even remember now. If I had known that they were to be the only laughs in the entire film I would have made more of an effort to record them. As it was I blithely assumed that there would be more to come. In retrospect I blush at my naivety.
Millions of my brain cells short-circuited themselves just so that this utter toilet-juice could not be transmitted into my head. If you suffer from seizures/are prone to heart problems/or are at risk from having a stroke... do not worry, you are more likely to die from boredom/suicide as you watch this brain hemorrhage of a film.
Everything about it is annoying - the actors are annoying, the script is annoying, the product placement is annoying, the music, the plot (hahaha), the pacing, the *stupid* *unfunny* 'hilarious' to-and-fro's between Seth Rogen and Rosie Byrne, the sickly Hollywood moralising ... all *annoying*, and worse still sometimes just plain dull. How do you make a film of this genre *dull*, I mean at very least you expect it will tick along at a reasonable pace; even if it is depressingly badly done surely the loud noises and flashing lights will stimulate some part of your brain, yes? You would think so because you are a rational human being and someone has placed a product in front of your eyes that cost millions of dollars to produce; something that took months of writing, planning, acting (cough), editing, all done by *professional* film makers working for a major Hollywood film production company. But no. I have sat through more exciting and rewarding bowel-movements (by a huge margin, but then perhaps that's setting the bar a little high). You probably get the idea: I didn't like it.
I know I mentioned the 'comedy' 'back and forths' between Rogen and Byrne, but I feel it is necessary to clearly state that you will feel physically sick during these. They have attempted to make these exchanges appear spontaneous, as if the comic tension between the two of them was crackling and sparkling with such fury that the director just said 'hey you guys, you don't need a script, you don't need me, hell you just stand there and vomit me comedy gold'. Well they vomited... right over your clothes and in your hair and in your eyes. Like a children's birthday party where Uncle Bertie gave them all the lemonade and cake they could eat *before* he let them get on the bouncy castle.
I feel much better, thank you IMDb for allowing me to undergo this therapeutic experience.
