Every ounce of joy and energy is sapped from this deeply substandard TV movie. It's fifteen minutes of script hyperextended into a feature-length TV movie, each scene a molasses trickle. It feels like a Hallmark movie that was left out in the sun to bleach and dry up. The actors take deep breaths between each line of dialog and repeat plot points (scant as they are) over and over. The two leads are obviously under heavy sedation. The main character's aunt reads every line as catty. Even the actors' hairstyles (or wigs?) are strange. The acclaimed local cafe serves what appear to be Hungry Man turkey frozen dinners with a side of cocoa. The father and son at the heart of the story seem to be estranged at the start of the film for reasons never explained and evidently instantly resolved. WHAT EVEN IS THIS.
