Sanhujoriwon

"The day I got promoted as the youngest director at work, I became the oldest pregnant woman at the hospital." Jin desperately wanted both of those things, but she didn't want them to happen at the same time.

Pregnancy? "People blabber that it's a beautiful & joyful process. But it's not always like that for women who actually go through it. Pregnancy is exhausting, delivery is cruel, & recovery is miserable." In saying that, the BCC director shows she truly understands. Jin finally starts to feel a smidge at ease.

When Do Yoon & Jin arrive at the BCC, I wondered if Jin had actually passed to the afterlife. It looks like heaven (except for the creepy handmaids-tale-gowns). Massages, room service, baby care, classes, other new moms... What is especially poignant & metaphoric is that, to have a child, is the death of one's previous life. Children break us down to nothing, & we have to build ourselves back up again.

The OM's (the /other/ moms) are in another world, though. It doesn't seem much different than Jr high w/ their persnickety cliquishness. Jin is sneered at because she intends to return to work. ASAP. Now, I really hate it when people sneer at stay-at-home moms. There's nothing easy or cushy about raising kids, feeding your family quality food, & properly keeping a house up. These days, not many families can afford to do it. (In fairness, if kids could vote, it's possible that every mom would be required to stay-at-home). I also find it very distasteful, however, when stay-at-home moms allow their worlds to become so small that they don't have a clue about what it's like out there. If you're a stay-at-home mom, you have no business commenting on somebody who works full-time & tries to juggle family life as well. Most people don't have a choice, & if you've never done it, you can't imagine how difficult it is. Nobody is living a perfect life. Not one of us. I doubt there's such a thing as parenting, or marriage, for that matter, w/o regrets. Not only is judging others useless, but it's harmful to us as it distracts us from the honest introspection & personal improvement that might alleviate some of those later regrets.

It's obvious that the screenwriters have been through this. I love the treatment of the birth, along w/ every other subject. They nail the emotions. The baby has an adorably crumpled frown. That frown is upside-down for everyone else. This couple had given up on ever having a baby. Now, the whole family's ecstatic. "You came through the birth so easily!" Her mother-in-law is all smiles. She's got it wrong, though. Jin actually died on the birthing table & was resuscitated. Everyone is over the moon, except for Jin. She's.just.exhausted.

Jin is an achiever. She immediately gets caught up in the subtle competitions going on between the OMs. First, she starts to feel competitive about breast milk. She calls her friend for advice. Said friend comments that it's been a long time since her baby was a /baby/. The camera pans over to a gangly, pimpled middle school boy. As he leaves, Jin's friend yells at him that he should /shave/ before going to school. The door slams. Then she finds his cigarettes. 'I really can't help you right now,' she says, & ends the call.

That sets the table. Through Jin's journey, the writers show the stress, the frustration, confusion, the bombardment of choices & pressures, all the nosy outsiders - each w/ an opinion, the fear, & the absolute irony involved in childbirth ~ & they show it well.

〰Mixed Emotions〰

Jin feels so out of place. She worked up until the last moment. All the OMs seem to know more. She's far behind. They liken it to the last car on the Snowpiercer train (that ain't good). She sees that work at her job is going on fine w/o her. She's losing herself. Her identity. Jin doesn't feel the overwhelming love that the OMs have for their babies. It's not like she can force herself to feel a certain way! She feels so very out of place.

〰Marital Strife & Physical Changes〰

Then it's relational stress. Poor Do Yoon. While his wife is being bullied, condescended to, & failing at breastfeeding, she's taking it all out on him. He can't even breathe right. He ends up bonding w/ another father who teaches him to wear earth tones so that he can blend into the background;) They go shopping together. The whole thing is pretty cute w/ them gushing over cribs & bottle warmers. But his new friend's time at the center ends first. Do Yoon actually runs after his bro's car in the driveway, then trips & falls as his buddy is leaving. Next, they get into how a woman's body changes. One of the OMs has gained so much weight she's doubled her size - & her career is dependent on her looks. Jin hasn't felt like a woman in a long time. Her body hasn't been hers for a long time. She has to hear how /this/ is a time when men tend to cheat. Then she has to watch her husband head off to his awards show w/ his beautiful coworker. In a convertible.

〰Choosing a Name〰

The pressure of picking a name doesn't elude this couple. Koreans have 39 days to register their babies' births, so they don't deal w/ naming the kids until ep7. Until then they have silly nicknames like Glue Stick or Sprout. A baby's name contains the wishes of its mother," & "A name is a vessel that holds a person's fate," is the verbiage being bandied around. I remember when I picked up the baby name book, the first thing that stuck out was the statement that boys w/ exotic names have a higher incidence of mental illness. (Yikes!) I've heard psychologists talk about trying to find a mock-proof name for their kids - they ultimately failed. We gave our son the first name of his father & grandfather, but ended up calling him by his middle name to "avoid confusion". The confusion came when we had to update his records when he turned 18 & was issued an ID. The insurance company didn't want to pay his bills. When he graduated from HS, no one recognized the name they called out, lol. We have survived this, & worse. The perfect parent has yet to be discovered on this flawed earth - so relax.

〰Finding the Perfect Nanny - before any of the other b!+ches do!〰

As their discharge date approaches, the babysitter competitions begin.

Jin's mom was set to babysit, but she needs an emergency surgery. Jin's first thought is about herself & her career. This is really inconvenient for Jin. When Mom points out her selfish attitude, Jin blows up, in rich irony, & blames her mom for not raising her better. Jin realizes she reverts to being a toddler around her loving, caring, giving, self-sacrificing mother. These new moms haven't worked out their relationships w/ their /own/ parents ~ And around it goes. Jin ends up in a competitive 3-way interview w/ a top-rated nanny & another mother. They cut in a Joseon era sword fight between the questions.

〰And the bang-jammy of them all: Breast V Bottle〰

Jin has trouble making breast milk & breastfeeding. That's no trifle - Her life becomes ALL about that ~strict diet~exercises~~> She feels like a cow. They flesh out the breast v bottle wars beautifully. Of course, the science is settled. It's better to breastfeed (cheaper, too). It's better to eat organic & prepare all your meals at home. It's even better to just grow your own food. It's better to monitor your caffeine intake. It's better to exercise regularly. It's better to go to bed early. It's better to not sit all day at the office but to stand once in awhile. It's better to squeeze the toothpaste from the bottom. It's better to brake slowly so you don't wear out the brake pads on your car too quickly. Obviously, these things aren't all of the same importance, but the point is that it's impossible to live a perfect life & to do /all/ the better things. We really have no idea what other people are going through & what struggles they have. This is an issue where the information is out there. They don't need to hear it again from outsiders. It's better to keep our opinions to ourselves. It really is. There are mothers who try their best to breastfeed & cannot keep it up, emotionally & physically. It isn't something that one should comment on to a stranger - someone whose struggles are entirely unknown to the speaker. If it would work, I'd be all-in on it, but It won't work, & it won't make the world a better place. These actions morph into self-aggrandizing superiority rituals, & that's just wrong. Regardless of our past choices, it's better than better to always be improving. Never stop working on yourself; when you're done, fix e'erbody else. There's a sequence on the BvB wars that is not only the highlight of the show, it's production gold. They show arguments, fights, car accidents, bar fights, videos of the fights, videos that go viral & cause fights on other continents... all over breastfeeding... It's bloody brilliant.

The acting & directing are excellent. The all female screenwriting team ot Kim Ji Soo (Missing Crown Prince), Yoon Soo Min (Stock Struck), & Im Yeon Soo (Go Back Couple) are the stars. They will make pregnancy less lonely. "I never understood why mothers resigned after maternity leave, before." (Jin is having a mini-epiphany). "Now, I do." "Giving birth really takes a toll on you," we hear in the next scene. Yep, they've been through this.

"The moment we accepted our unhappiness, we could finally be happy," Jin observes. Midshow, the women start to drop the facade. They open up to e/o more - whether wittingly or not. They compete less & support e/o more. Now that'll make the world a better place.

QUOTES📢

...humiliation is a luxury of an emotion that one can only feel when he or she is still a human.

Attachment maketh man. 77% of motiveless crimes are committed by neglected children.

〰🖍 IMHO

📣7.5 📝8.5 🎭8 💓5 🦋4 🎨7.9 🎵/🔊7 🔚 ▪ 🌞5 ⚡1 😅3.7 😭2.5 😱2.5 😯3.5 🤢1 🤔8 💤0

Age 13+

Rated TV-15.