Love for the First Time

Michael Raven comes up empty with this tired rom-com for Wicked Pictures, wasting the contract star Carmen Hart in an indigestible project. Unless overacting by porn talent is your cup of tea, it's a must avoid.

Randy Spears is terrible as the 44-year-old virgin lead player, hardly proper casting if Big Mike's object was to make fun of the Steve Carell hit. Also a virgin is Carmen, wearing glasses with an unbecoming hairdo, and way overdoing her sheepish, mousy persona, even nerdier than Spears.

Supporting cast tries to save Raven's bacon, with the huge knockers of Abbey Brooks briefly stealing the movie as she gives Spears a lap-dance and blow-job in the VIP room of her strip club. Clintonian definitions of sex means that Randy is still a virgin as oral sex doesn't count, so we can hold on for the inevitable climactic sex scene where both leads finally hook-up and very unconvincingly pretend they are having sex for the first time, though executing it as veterans of thousands of couplings.

Most annoying to me is the usual porno practice of not giving credits out, so we have a prinicipal non-sex player, a dwarf actor playing a comical co-worker for Spears unidentified, as well as two strippers, both appearing prominently in the BTS short subject but one of which (called Regan verbally) is an attractive busty blonde whose footage is on the cutting room floor.

Barrett Blade and Mr. Marcus ham it up as Randy's other co-workers, with Blade's tiresome imitation of "Black" argot amateurism and tiresome. Ron Jeremy wearing shorts and a Hawaiian shirt has a brief and pointless cameo as their boss. The video store setting has a cheap plug for the Wicked DVD, and another uncredited NonSex Role for an attractive actress who simply wants to know what the difference is between X, XX and XXX.