Brainiac

A drug called Nirvana has turned its inventor into a monster that sucks the brains out of people. That's the whole movie. Writer Greg Bayan gives a bland performance as said inventor, and Lisa Nistri plays Dr. Sunday Morgan, the scientist trying to figure out just what the hell is going on (I was still wondering what the hell was going on even after the movie ended). The movie's total run time is 92 minutes-- about 20 of which is spent on opening titles with effects that looked like they were done on Windows Movie Maker.

I'm no expert on horror movies (Ive only seen about 3 of them in my life), but I know this much: they should be scary. Overlit scenes and rubber halloween masks with a penis-shaped, brain-sucking claw don't make a movie scary. They make it look like fodder for MST3K.

You don't need a lot of money to make a good film, but you do need a script with a focused story arc, and characters with at least one dimension.

The cast of Brainiac is comprised mainly of amateurs (and perhaps friends of the filmmakers). The only professional is Joe Hansard (Det. Danko) who uses his comedic talent to play a lazy doughnut-eating cop. I enjoyed Hansard's performance, but it felt out of place in what was supposed to be a "horror" movie. Hansard's talent would have been better suited for a comedy, or a real horror movie with a script that didn't try to spoof itself.