I used to be a regular viewer of 7th Heaven, but after a while there were so many convoluted subplots that I just had to give up. The main family itself is huge, but when you add about 15 side characters the relationships become a bit too hard to follow. Also, I really got tired of how every episode became some political preaching about the latest controversy or hot button issue. In one episode, Ruthie writes letters to a U.S. soldier who is stationed in Afghanistan. Then she gets all worried when the guy stops writing back, and the preacher father ends the episode by reciting a sermon about America's heroes. Now, I'm all for being patriotic and all that jazz, but that entire episode seemed to be written in about five minutes and tacked onto the season just so the staff could win an Emmy. I'm willing to bet money that the writers just open up the paper to the Opinion section, close their eyes, point at a random story, and then write a script based on the issue. Going back to how complicated the show has gotten, I'd just like to note that it is very frustrating when the characters have boyfriends and girlfriends so many times in a season that you have no idea what's even happening any more. Seriously, you can skip one episode and someone will be married/divorced/pregnant/in a coma the next week. Talk about drastically changing plot lines! Now I'd like to talk about the most unintentionally hilarious episode, AKA the one that discussed the issue of marijuana. I could not believe how politically charged this one episode was, and my jaw was literally on the floor at how exaggerated the story was presented. Basically, the dad discovers a joint in the laundry (correct me if I'm wrong), and instantly starts eyeballing every one of his children. He becomes so paranoid and mistrusting that it's ridiculous. When he sees that Matt is eating more than two or three cookies, the camera zooms in on his sweaty, worried face. Why, Matt must have (gasp!) THE MUNCHIES! Dun, dun, DUN! Then one of the girls is acting tired. Why, she must be (gasp) HIGH! Dun, dun, DUN!! I mean, come ON! He even suspects Ruthie, who was probably 6-years-old at the time. Talk about overreacting. So anyway, the dad drags his wife into the bedroom and they discuss who might have brought the joint home. "Did you see Matt wolfing down those cookies? That's a sure-fire sign of (gasp!) THE MUNCHIES!" the dad whispers, afraid that his Christian neighbors will hear him. We then learn that the wife smoked some pot in college, and the dad literally freaks out. He comes this close to disowning his wife because she hit a couple of doobies when she was younger. Yes, God forbid someone does drugs when they're in college. I say, anyone who smokes weed is evil. EVIL, ya hear me?! So the dad puts the joint in his dresser drawer for safe keeping, and minutes later one of his daughters finds it while looking for something to wear. GASP! She thinks her parents are smoking the wacky weed! Ah, the wackiness that comes with family sitcoms. The show draws to a close when it is discovered that Matt had the joint, which leads to him running off somewhere. The mom and dad search the town only to find that he is praying in church. That's right, he's praying to God and spilling his guts about how he was just "holding" the joint for a friend. Uh, RIGHT. The credits roll after the mom and dad embrace their tearful son, a lesson learned by all. In short, GAG ME. Other issues discussed by Seventh Heaven include: listening to rap music is BAD, having sex is BAD, etc. Sheesh, whatever happened to just running a regular episode? Does every single show have to bery Very Special? Blech. I say this show be canned before the writers create an episode where Simon learns about the evils of homosexuality via a sinister uncle character. 0/4 stars
