Savage Harbor

When we first saw the cover of the VHS box for this film (aka Death Feud), my friend and I knew one of us was going to have to get it. I mean, where else will you find FRANK Stalone and CHRISTOPHER Mitchum together in one film? I won (er . . . lost?) and took the film home. And what did I find? Just what I knew I would: a cinematic wonderment full of horrible acting, a hole-ridden plot, laughable action scenes, and best of all, outright mistakes the makers of this gem were too lazy to reshoot. Among them: Stallone karate-chopping a dude and missing by a mile; a guy being dragged behind a truck who clearly whacks a parked car with his prone body as the truck makes a turn; and Stallone kicking in a hotel door that is obviously already unlocked and slightly ajar!

The two stars I've given this shoddy exercise in cinematic nepotism are both for Anthony Caruso, the great character actor whose career goes back 3 decades. His presence gives the movie its only good performance and its only touch of professionalism. Neither Stallone, Mitchum, nor anyone else in this sludge-fest is worthy of shining his shoes. Long live actors like Caruso! (No, not you, David!)