The Cellar opens with a load of mystical native American hogwash about evil Commanche spirits that wait to punish the white man. The ancient Indian curse is a lazy plot device that, once established, allows a film-maker to chuck a load of supernatural nonsense on screen with little need for logic or narrative cohesion: occasionally it works (Tobe Hooper's Poltergeist, which benefitted from a decent cast, a big budget, and Spielberg's guiding hand); mostly it doesn't, The Cellar being a prime example.
In Kevin Tenney's film, a savage creature conjured up by a powerful medicine man lurks in the cellar of an old house. The new owners, the Cashen family, are blissfully unaware of the monster that comes with their home, but youngster Willy (Chris Miller) realises the danger when he catches sight of it trying to come up through his bedroom floor. Willy's father Mance (Patrick Kilpatrick) doesn't believe his son's story, so it is up to Willy to try and kill the creature before it eats him, his dad, step-mom Emily (Suzanne Savoy), and baby sister April (Ryan and Anthony Childs).
The pacing of this film is awful: a very dull fifty minutes or so pass before we get a brief glimpse of the creature, when Willy manages to maim the thing in one of his bear traps. Now you might be asking yourself what a young lad is doing messing around with potentially lethal steel traps unsupervised, but that's just the tip of the iceberg. Mance worries about whether his son really loves him: perhaps that's because he doesn't pay him enough attention, which is how the boy is able to make a home-made flame-thrower, give his baby sister a rabbit's foot necklace (a choking hazard if I ever saw one), rig up a high-voltage booby trap in the cellar, and steal sticks of dynamite and detonators to make some bombs -all without being noticed.
As if being totally oblivious to his child's numerous dangerous activities wasn't bad enough, Mance continues to not believe the kid about the monster, eventually losing his temper with the lad and locking him in the living room with the door to the cellar nailed open. Fortunately, Emily breaks open the door just in time to see the creature, at which point Mance realises his mistake and plays the hero. Someone give the guy a 'Father of the Year' award! The final battle with the creature is actually a lot of fun, even though the monster effects are a bit on the rubbery side, and the film ends with a nice big explosion, which is cool.
Actually, scratch that: the film ends with some more nonsensical mumbo jumbo about Native American wind spirits and other mystical guff, which isn't cool.
3.5/10, rounded up to 4 for IMDb.
