Madame's Place

Madame: Ladies, are you tired of keeping your traps shut when your old man screws up real bad? Do you have to try to be in control of your temper when he does something so stupid even you can't believe it? Are you fed-up with being the nice quiet little wife when he can be a dumb loud-mouth oaf of a husband any time he pleases? If you answer yes to any of these questions, it's time you ordered your very own Inflatible Husband Doll. Yes folks, this wintery little doll will just sit there and look frightened no matter what you say.

[looks at it]

Madame: Lord, what a puss. Yes, you can curse, cajole, conive, rant, rave and ramble and throw ultimatums at 'em all night long and he won't ever answer back. Not even once.

[to doll]

Madame: You idiot moron! How dare you? You flirt with that little polynesian waitress? See that ladies? The damned doll has no gambelonium. Yes ladies and gentlemen, the Inflatible Husband Doll. And if you don't even like him you can take a pin and...

[pops doll and it begins to fly around the room]

Madame: Did you get a close-up of that? Yes ladies and gentlemen, the Inflatible Husband Doll. Available at Pretend-O-Rama and your local If-Only Stores.