Just finished watching a pirated copy of this anal travesty. Slumdogs cannot create art. They just can't. My blood is boiling, I can imagine someone paying a 150 odd bucks to sit through it. God where does one even begin.
Hrithak can't act for *beep* Like he has that one "aura" in every film I've seen of his. The brooding angry man about to burst like a bubble, or the doey eyed love struck dancing moron. Nothing else. This guy should be blacklisted from showing his face to me. But of course an actor can only do what-I-or us directors want them to do.
Ashu-tosh "Sir" seems to be aping Star Wars A new hope what with Cambell's Hero Journey template but like 95% of Indians(myself and a few on here I feel excluded) he simply copy pastes the process and commits the cardinal sin of "Indianizing" it. Which means they could've have shot this in the backdrop of 2016 Dharavi and it wouldn't matter. Boy sees girl, falls for her, stuff happens around them, the end. Except it takes 9 Godawful hours(or so it felt) to get to it.
Opening scene pretty much sums up the ordeal. Our immortal lad fights the fakest looking alligator ever put on cinema. Seriously folks, right then and there I looked t my friend and we both had to go buy 3 quarters of Old monk. I mean Lake Placid had a better croc and when was that-1997?, heck, Khoon Bhari Maang had a better animal. Couldn't they like work on the CGI one bit? What the hell goes on in India? I mean at the rolling credits of most Hollywood films I see the Indian drones names fly by....They have all the animation studio here and this is what you get? Same thing with Baahubali....terrible, terrible CGI(as opposed to the gorgeous real locations and sets). Don't they have a rough *beep* screening in this town? More IMPORTANTLY don't these c**k sandwiches realize that showing less is more. Nothing inspired from John Carpenter's innumerable films or Jaws. They could have just shown the tip of the alligator, as they usually appear in real life- and made a great scene out of it. The Alli jumped a few metres😥
Anyho, after killing the reptile he returns home to his village....I'll give them this the practical locations are good. It looks and feels good. There they indulge in the most boring putrid diatribe ever put on screen. Heck, I don't even remember anything of it it was that bad. We meet his obligatory sidekick whose there to explain things and follow Hercules around like a *beep* fat drone. The fat *beep* Hercules has a dream where he seems a Unicorn, but wait....it doesn't look like a horse, more like a pony or sheep(seriously look it up), so its a sheepricorn. It looks at Hercules and now he wants to go to the Holy fable land of Mohen-Jo- Daro. Luke Skywalke, err, I mean Saram(or something similar) decides to go on his Hero's Journey and after some *beep* CGI(really guys the CGI here is terrible, its not even so bad its good). they reach the promised land. What happens next is a daze because I became too drunk. But there's literally nothing happening. Nothing at all. The chick is cute but she cannot act. There is a CGI panning shot from a window to the whole panorama of the city and even on a small screan we couldn't help but cringe, image the terror from the audience POV.
There is a arena battle scene lifted(well sort of, if you can even call it an effort) from the Star Wars prequel and Gladiator except in this case our Hero is victorious when it really doesn't seem like it can happen. Not in this Universe or any other.
The end is again a cheesefest where some river floods the city(I haven't done a lot of reading but is this true or they just made it up) and it is the fakest sickest bunch of scenes put together. Seriously amateur stuff guys. There are exactly 7 cows(guess they couldn't afford after paying Krish his 40 crore) which are repeated in every scene. One scene where Hercules/Mind reader actually tames 3 horses. They're never seen again. These are just minor quibbles and there are a lot of these. Is this the same guy who directed that legendary masterpiece "What's your rashi" with Hercules clone? That film is a masterpiece compared to this travesty.
Don't these guys have script readers, some people who question the product except just Hero worshiping the actor and the director? I hope the film sinks faster than the city did.
