... Just in a different way.
Some guy inherits a broken down cabin in the woods and decides to take his family to spend a weekend there sight unseen. His daughter finds a pretty fugly Victorian-looking doll in a suspicious cave. Just so happens the doll is possessed by a Satanic witch.
The doll has more powers than superman and uses those powers to........... harass this family for no reason at all.
The whole movie is basically the doll moving its eyes to the sound of a Pavlovian ringtone followed by some lame effect such as the stage crews making the set shake so that dust falls on the cast or filling a refrigerator with mice and snakes.
These effects are usually plagiarized right out of better Horror movies from the US. For example, a knife flies through the air (complete with cartoon sound effect), to stab the lead actor as in Carrey and the house starts to bleed as in Burnt Offerings. In fact, the very character of Pedro Fernandez is lifted straight from 80s horror comedies such as The Evil Dead II.
The doll's powers are limitless. It can control cars, make people see things, cause things to spontaneously combust, and make people fly.
The acting can't be worse for a serious professional production. The kids sound like someone is telling them what to say through an earpiece. The other actors are marginally better. The little girl was pretty good, truth be told, but it was the simplest acting gig of all time for her - just be as emotionless as possible.
As a child, I thought this movie was scary. But now I see it for the sad, silly, sloppy-gut production it is. I thought it was better than Annabelle (2014), but it's really not. The only good thing I can say is that the doll does actually look like a realistic but creepy doll and the cast acknowledges it (the mom even says at one point "and stop carrying around that hideous doll!"), whereas no normie woman in her right mind would be happily collecting dolls that look like Annabelle.
Terrible.
Honourable Mentions: The Evil Dead (1981). A cheap independent film but genuinely scary. Don't miss it!
