Dirty Tennis

Whenever a participatory game or sport develops into a widespread favourite with a populace, as golf, tennis, bowling, et alia, have become, addition of an obligatory type and fashion of accoutrements inevitably follows, resulting in the bedecking of anxious amateurs who fancy being au courant in the style, rather than the essence, of their chosen recreational activity. This whimsical short (about 30 minutes) film features comic character performer Dick Van Patten as host at his San Fernando Valley home for a tennis match with Olympic decathlon kingpin Bruce Jenner wherein Van Patten demonstrates methods of unsettling a superior foe in order to defeat him. Jenner comes to the court with full panoply of equipment and accessories, wearing designer tennis clothing whereas Van Patten is arrayed with black socks, bathing trunks, and a gaudy shirt, his apparel one of the "dirty tennis" ploys he posits to unsettle an opponent. Among many examples of guile and cunning which Van Patten recommends are the use of a bikini-clad wench (Nicolette Sheridan here) basking at courtside, exhausting one's adversary during the warmup process, and deploying a telephone, radio, leaf blower as well as other noisemaking items to discompose the concentration of the competition. Van Patten's wife Pat along with his actor sons Vincent, Nels and James (who has script credit) enter into the light-hearted proceedings, while Jenner is amusingly effective as an athlete whose rhythm is incessantly disturbed (dramatized through voiceovers) by his scorned competitor's trickery. Much effort is expended for this production, with capable camerawork, and specially fine editing that involves a significant amount of splicing, for a work that is but a bagatelle, and includes plugs for the players, but there is additionally some incisive satire directed at those who place appearances over all else.