Bikini Planet

The jokes are thin, the ladies are lovely, and what the Latin guy is really saying is way funnier than anything in the script (but you'll have to know a little Spanish to get it).

I can only suppose that this started out as a porno that struggled to find actual porno actresses (there is one, but only one, in a very small role). So they shrugged and decided to skip the actual sex but kept everything else: the improbable premises, the leading-to-sex conversations, the lingering body shots, the jokes about size and sexual performance.

Stephanie Beaton is the only person in the whole film who comes across with any conviction, making her the most fun to watch. Everything else about the film makes for tedious going even once, and lacking in almost every aspect of film: editing, lighting, writing, acting, special effects ... actually the sound was pretty well-recorded, so there's that. Otherwise a film that makes Tinto Brass look like a pretty good filmmaker.