The Dropout

Anonymous pornographers make a timid effort at keeping the audience awake with DROPOUTS, a slapdash tale of a kid risking his future fortune by dropping out of university. Something Weird relegated a very splicey surviving print to Vol. 134 of its Dragon Art Theatre series.

Film starts off more like a rehearsal than a real movie, as Suzanne Fields wings it through highly awkward ad libs as the hero's maid, humping the butler (Kris Flanagan) on a couch.

A rather untalented performer (unidentified) is cast in the central role of John, spoiled kid who has only one year to go (he'll be turning 25) in order to graduate, or lose his inheritance.

Format becomes quickly repetitive, as a succession of women arrive, claiming to be fiancées of John, and humping whoever is available. First one of these is the busty, bespectacled Tina Smith, an unusual porn actress who appears all too infrequently and is welcome here.

Less appealing is Henry Ferris as a pool boy, shoehorned into the narrative merely to bring another ready cock into the XXX mix.

Nonsensical premise that the scheming maid & butler plan to get John to return to school by over-saturating him with sex is dumb, and movie degenerates into a ho-hum orgy.

Perhaps the only remarkable element here is another new low in lousy Muzak for the soundtrack. The sleepy score is terrible, but takes on an added crummy dimension by lapsing into Muzak versions of once-popular TV commercial jingles, instrumental only (so you have to guess the words & names of the products). I was generally stumped, except for recalling the once omnipresent Doublemint Gum theme, as well as "See the USA in your Chevrolet". Elsewhere, the track is packed with extraneous sounds, including the director yelling "Action!" at the beginning of a take.