Screenwriter Gerald Ayres' crazy dialogue throughout "Rich and Famous", a remake of the Bette Davis chestnut "Old Acquaintance", continually sounds like failed poetry (or, perhaps, an amateur poet's idea of what movie dialogue should sound like). When college chums-turned-literary rivals Jacqueline Bisset and Candice Bergen are arguing, Bisset refers to herself metaphorically as a dedicated dog. "One come into the yard, we'd kick it out!" Bergen hisses to her. Bisset: "They're refreshingly loyal!" Bergen: "They'd **** a snake if it stood still!" It gets worse. While cuddling with her boy-toy (a writer from Rolling Stone!), Bisset asks if men weep. Her fella says, "We have little hairs that stand up on the backs of our necks." Bisset: "Are your little hairs standing up?" This is a flaky, camp-melodrama, ostensibly aimed at just the sort of women depicted on-screen. Though the two ladies look beautiful, they're acting styles clash: Bisset, trying for depth, comes off as cold and dour; Bergen is hyped-up for a battle, yet her southern accent is shaky (to be charitable) and her approach to this part seems out of place--she's a puff pastry on a dinner table full of oysters. At the end of the film, New Year's Eve, Bisset is feeling lonely and reaches out to her lifelong friend/enemy/whatever. "I need the press of human flesh!" she whispers dramatically to Bergen. "And you are the only flesh around...kiss me!" Somebody send this writer back to movie-school. ** from ****
