Burke & Hare

[telling an anecdote over dinner with Dr Selby]

Dr. Knox: He was a great barrel-chest of a man - heart like a steam engine, lungs like a pair of bellows. "Slip your trews down, man," I say. So he lets his trews fall down round his feet. "And your under-drawers," I say. "How can I examine you with your drawers on?" "I'd rather not," he says. "I'm very sensitive - it's my person, it's very small". "Good heavens, man!" I say, "That's nothing to worry about. I see dozens of them every day - big ones, small ones. Come on, don't waste my time." So reluctantly he lowers his drawers. At first I cannot see a thing. Then I see it: a wee mushroom peeping through the heather, and him such a fine strapping man, too - you never can tell. "It certainly is very small indeed," I say. "Er, tell me. Do you ever get an erection?" With tears in his eyes he says "I've got one the noo, Doctor".

[everyone laughs]