Gamera contra Guiron, guardián del planeta fantasma

'Attack of the Monsters' is quite a movie. Not only does it show off Gamera's great range of talents, but it is also the silliest giant monster movie I've ever seen, and oddly violent for a giant monster that is obviously intended for kids. Gamera: if you can hear me, you rule.

Akio (Nobuhiro Kajima), an idealist kid, dreams of finding a planet with no wars,traffic accidents, or long pants. He and Tom (Christopher Murphy) get whisked away by an empty UFO to the planet Terra, a planet that is exactly like Earth and conveniently shares Earth's orbit and is always on the opposite side of the sun to Earth. On Terra, they watch as a Gyaos turns up, only to get dismembered by Guiron (Terran for: 'Giant-Knife-Head-Monster').

Only two Terrans still live on the planet: Two space-babes with names so nice and pretty that these space-babes are obviously evil (apparently the rest of the population left to find a new planet, but we all know they died in a mass traffic accident). When the Terran women reveal that they must eat the kids brains in order to adapt to life on Earth, the kids are saved by Gamera, friend to children everywhere.

Gamera should have had a toy range based on this movie. He is the most multi-skilled monster in the universe! I can see it all now: Regular Gamera, Jet Propulsion Gamera, Ninja Gamera, Baseball Gamera, Airborne Gamera, Judo Gamera, Dancing Gamera, Gymnast Gamera, Aqua Gamera, and Gamera the Repair Monster. 'Attack of the Monsters' is a very silly movie - silly in the most funny ways. The poor special effects, the very basic dialog, the far out story, and Gamera's range of talents all make for some quality monster movie entertainment. Some of the monster mayhem seems rather brutal, even by regular monster movie standards (really, how many Godzilla films feature bloody dismemberment?), but my only complaint is the lack of Gamera's theme song in the 'Attack of the Monsters' version of the film. I want Gamera's theme song! I want it now!

Gamera rules. 'Attack of the Monsters' may be one of the most poorly produced movies you'll ever see, but it's great fun, and you know it.