"Danger in the woods" horror films follow a consistent formula. We start by meeting a group of attractive young twenty-somethings. For some reason (graduation, cheer one of them up, etc), they are all going out to some remote place (usually a cabin, camping grounds, or something like that). Travelling on dusty roads, they stop at some place where they meet up with some of the locals, and then they tell them where they are going, they are either looked at with horror or they are warned to stay away. The group laughs them off, and makes it to the remote place. When there, they spend some time goofing around, drinking and telling stories, until finally (after about 45 minutes into the movie) they are attacked by a psycho or a deranged family. Horror and chasing and running around ensures, until eventually only the final girl remains. The girl, usually attractive and dressed sexily, is left to fight off the evil doers until she escapes. And at the end, there may or may not be a twist.
Now, perhaps you read this and said, "You know, I really love 'Danger in the Woods' movies, but you know what I'd like? Instead of attractive twenty-somethings I'd much prefer a group of middle aged men. And instead of a sexy and attractive final girl, I'd much prefer a three-hundred pound middle aged man who used to be a professional wrestler." Well, if you did, then have I got a movie for you.
"100 Acres of Hell" is pretty much the standard "Danger in the Woods" movie with the roles replaced as I described. Former wrestler Gene Snisky (who also co-wrote the script) starts at "Buck Severs", a former wrestler who EVERYBODY seems to know and be awed by. After some injury and tragedy, his buddies -- Trent, Bo, and Morgan -- decide to take how out to a game preserve and have a "Bro Trip." The locals tell them about the legend of Jeb Tucker, who they are warned will track them down and kill them. But they go off and, as you might expect, they encounter what they thought was just a legend...
It's pretty much paint by numbers stuff except... well, I missed the hot twenty somethings. A group of middle aged guys with paunches just didn't do it for me. I mean, everybody tried. While some of the dialog was ridiculous, the actors gave it their all. Jeb Tucker is played by Sam Anoai, another former wrestler (he was "Samu" and is part of the Anoa'i family that produced The Rock), so that was sort of cool. There is an attempt to make things more interesting by bring in some bikers, and a quick appearance by the great Catherine Corcoran (really an extended cameo, just a couple of "blink and you'll miss her" scenes). I mean, it's not bad, it's just nothing we haven't seen before dozens of times and the changes to the formula didn't add anything worthwhile to it.
