Sex Alpin - Skihaserl-Bums

With so much porn cranked out over the decades, it's hardly surprising so much of it is obscure or little-known. This overlooked VCX release SEX MOUNTAIN is a witless but satisfying XXX exercise, and a good test of one's ability to tolerate horrendously nauseating English dubbing.

I treated the mute button on my video player like a panic button -determined not to succumb no matter how horrible things got. After 80 minutes of gibberish resembling a retarded version of MS3TK, I was positively relieved that this junker was over.

Shot on video but managing to look acceptable, feature's opening reels are surprisingly elaborate, featuring a helicopter ride, plenty of amateurish (but gamely handled by porn performers) attempts at skiing and other outdoor antics before the all-porn aspect took over. Cast repairs to a restaurant/rathskeller/lodge for heavy duty, non-stop humping in the last few reels.

It was refreshing to see fairly attractive but natural looking women in action -not the plastic stars of either Chatsworth or the similarly fake Euro talent of Marc Dorcel land. The studs are fairly interchangeable, but director Jurgen Baumann was careful to have distinctly contrasting femmes on the payroll. One busty lass (I couldn't match her up in the credits) was an anal specialist, while Nadja Kleiber as Monika is a slim, fit brunette who makes a solid impression.