Carlita's Secret

Usually when you see a video / DVD cover with a picture of a well-known star but a title that you don't recognize, it's a movie made early in their careers before they got famous which gets re-released to capitalize on their current fame, even if sometimes they only play a small part in it. Well, at least in the case of "Carlita's Secret" the cover doesn't lie: Eva Longoria IS the main star of this movie. The script (co-written by three people who have barely worked on anything else) is a complete mess (lamest part: after being witness to a club shootout at a club that results in a cop's death, Carlita (Longoria) changes her name and after a few years no one recognizes her, despite the facts that she looks EXACTLY the same, and she even works as a dancer at the same club!), most of the male characters can barely complete a sentence without the word "f**k" in one of its variations, and what little action there is is amateurish at best, but the film does tick off many of the right Eva Longoria boxes: she dances seductively, she kisses another woman, she wears a bikini, she fires a gun, etc. Plus, her co-star Alejandra Gutierrez (a Playboy Playmate) is a total knockout as well. So not all is lost. ** out of 4.