The Madam

THE MADAM is a pointless and clumsily made softcore quickie, revived 40 years after due to the presence of Uschi Digard in the cast. It's one of her least interesting titles.

Of course, latter-day cash-in clown "42nd St. Pete" extols its virtues in the asinine pamphlet included in the DVD box, but as usual he's pretending this sow's ear is something else.

I knew I was in trouble on a second viewing that indicated all the cast credits at the front of the film are bogus. Stars Sue Peters and Jeff Roberts (seen memorably together in AGENT 69) never show up. Pornographers typically slapped any old credit list on many of these 1-day wonders, and it only confuses matters today, indicated by the "credit only" terminology used in IMDb.

Instead, Uschi, who is not listed, plays Sissy, daughter of a brothel madam who hitches a ride from motorcyclist John after her Jaguar XK-E breaks down. Ma hires John as bartender, and the rest of the film is sex filler between whores and johns (including John).

The simulated sex is desultory, with buck-toothed blonde starlet Terri Johnson the most familiar face apart from Uschi. The big fat guy who pops up is so many porn films of this era, Jack King, pops up as a customer who just likes to watch lesbians get it on.

Resulting film is the typical mish-mash of fairly convincing cunnilingus scenes, very fake fellatio simulation, and the dirty feet on screen to prove they were in a big hurry to wrap this up. Both men and women display full frontal nudity, the sign of "quality" for 1969.