This obscurity turned up late one night on television when I was being kept awake by a nasty toothache, so I switched it on to take my mind off the dental pain. Unfortunately, 'Torch Song' inflicts more than enough pain of its own on the viewer. Raquel Welch plays a has-been film star (that must've been a stretch!) whose career is being further scuppered by her over-reliance on alcohol. When some embarrassing pictures of her zonked out at the bottom of a (sadly empty) swimming pool are published in a scandal sheet, she makes an effort to clean up her act and gets all rehab. Naturally, the rehab unit isn't one bit realistic (no skid row drunks in vomit-stained clothes here!) so there's a hunky, kind-hearted rough diamond type...you can guess the rest, can't you? If you can't, give the deer-stalker and magnifying glass back to the fancy dress shop in the morning. Despite the uniformly dismal performances and hackneyed script, it's interesting to see Julian Holloway (most recognizable to British viewers from the Carry On films) and exploitation veteran Bob Minor in supporting roles, and a young Alicia Silverstone using the experience to perfect her annoying kooky brat persona. I must admit the scene where Raquel lies on the bed to phone her blue-collar beau is unexpectedly sexy, though. Now where did I put the Novocaine?
