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Roland Griffiths' research showed how psychedelics [entheogens, mind-expanding substances, hallucinogens] can alleviate depression in people with terminal diseases (Andre Chung/The Washington Post via Getty Images).
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This psychedelics researcher approached his death with calm and curiosity
I've got a little pile of rocks on my desk. It's not as weird as it sounds. They're small, smooth stones I've picked up during vacations to various beaches. It's a habit I picked up from my mom, who always took home some piece of the beach that she could hold when she returned to her life in a landlocked state.
For me, the six stones are a reminder of things that are bigger than whatever daily stress is eating away at my psyche [lit. "soul," mind]. A reminder that, despite the chaos and trauma in this life, in this world, at this moment, it is all still ephemeral.
The rocks stay. Then the rough edges smooth over time and ultimately, they dissolve into sediment and blow away into the air or get swept away by the water.
On top of this small assortment of rocks is a relatively new addition: a gold-plated medallion about the size of a quarter. On one side, the words "Meditation" and underneath, "The true method of knowledge is experiment," from the poet William Blake.
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There are other dimensions of which to be aware |
On the other side, there's an engraved image of
mushrooms and a kind of blessing: "May you remain aware of awareness [which is kind of the definition of Buddhist mindfulness or
sati]."
A scientist named Roland Griffiths gave that medallion to me. He and I talked back in April as one of the first conversations in this series (Enlighten Me). Griffiths had spent the later stage of his career exploring the ways that psychedelic drugs, specifically psilocybin [magic mushrooms], could help patients with depression, addiction issues, and even terminal cancer.
Then two years ago, he himself was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer. The doctor was now the patient, and Griffiths was facing his own mortality [imminent death].
I was changed by our conversation. First of all, he was the person who finally convinced me to delve more deeply into meditation — a practice he credits with helping him navigate the closing chapter of his life.
And that's the part that really stuck with me, how Griffiths was able to sit with his dying. Or, rather, sit in his last months of living and let go of any fear or despair [maranasati or "mindfulness of death"].
I emailed Griffiths in late September to see how he was doing and to share with him that I had been more committed to my meditation and was seeing real benefits in my life. He told me to stick with it — and I'm paraphrasing here — so you can see that thoughts, feelings, and sensations come and go if you let them. Otherwise, they can limit who you think you are.
A few weeks later, Roland Griffiths died on October 16, at the age of 77.
I keep his medallion on my pile of rocks to remind me that impermanence is the natural state of things.
And while we may not [though we almost certainly do but not the "we" we're used to in the limited sense of our self-serving ego and all its wants and craving] have a choice about when or how we leave this world, we get to choose how to live every day until that moment comes. [That's true, if only we knew, we really do have choice. What are we waiting for, permission to live?]
Here is our conversation [Rachel Martin with Roland Griffiths] from earlier this year.
This interview has been edited for length and clarity.
Rachel Martin: You started working a lot with psilocybin ['shrooms]. Can you describe what that is in layman terms?
Roland Griffiths: It is a classic psychedelic drug. It comes from psilocybin-containing mushrooms and has been used for hundreds to thousands of years with indigenous cultures for ceremonial healings or sacramental religious experiences. It comes on fairly quickly and it doesn't last as long as LSD or mescaline, so it is easier to work with.