Splotchmen
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The contents of this article are based on an issue of Simpsons Comics or another comic series and is considered to be non-canon and may not have actually happened/existed.
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Splotchmen
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Comic Story information
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Splotchmen is a Simpsons Super Spectacular story first printed in Simpsons Super Spectacular #13.
Contents
Synopsis[edit]
- "Who splotches the Splotchmen? Following an attack on Springfield's most famous comedian, Springfield's past and present costumed heroes (Pie Man, Cupcake Kid, Dr. New Haven, Pastry Face, the Original Collector, French Silk Spectre, and more) must work together to thwart a highly unstable, cream-filled plot to broker a peace with their town rival, Shelbyville."
Plot[edit]
Chapter I[edit]
The police are investigating an attack on Krusty the Clown. A can of Krusty Brand Cherry Pie Filling was found smashed on the ground outside of Krusty's apartment and Krusty was lying on the ground, unconscious. The police worked out that Krusty had slipped on a banana peel whilst opening the can. As Krusty tells Mr. Teeny to sweep up the glass, Pastry Face comes into the room. Pastry Face reminds Krusty that he used to be The Komedian and tells Krusty not to be a judge in the Springfield/Shelbyville bake-off. Pastry Face then goes off to warn the other members of Krusty's old team.
Pastry Face pays a visit to Dr. New Haven. Marge then enters the room with blueberry muffins for Dr. New Haven. When Pastry Face questions why Marge is there, Marge tells Pastry Face that she has sympathies for unnatural blue coloring. Meanwhile, Pie Man throws a pie in Mayor Quimby's face, blaming Simon Kennerly for it. Cupcake Kid says that it would make their anonymous benefactor happy. They then see Milhouse go into The Android's Dungeon.
Chapter II[edit]
At the Simpson house, Marge finds pie cream on Homer's neck, causing Homer and Bart to quickly leave. Marge tells Lisa that she had entered the bake-off, despite Pastry Face warning her not to. When Marge questioned how Lisa knew that, Lisa told her that Dr. New Haven told Lisa that. Dr. New Haven then shows up in the house and says that Homer left the door open. Marge then goes to see Jacqueline Bouvier to get the recipe that she used to win the bake-off many years ago. As Jacqueline tries to stop Marge opening her keepsake box, it falls open, revealing Jacqueline's old superhero photo and accessories. Jacqueline then tells Marge about her past as a superhero and a member of The League of Superheroes. She also tells Marge how the bake-off was set up by them to catch The Collector.
Marge goes to The Android's Dungeon to get information about The Collector from Comic Book Guy. Meanwhile, Milhouse is reading a an issue of Radioactive Man out loud. Comic Book Guy reveals that The Collector left a recipe on the back of the deed of sale. Marge takes the recipe to the Kwik-E-Mart to get the ingredients, but found that one of them was banned in Springfield and was only available in Shelbyville.
Chapter III[edit]
Dr. New Haven is on Smartline being interviewed by Kent Brockman. When Kent asks whether his blueness is contagious, Dr. New Haven tells him that it isn't. However, Duffman reveals that he has a hand print on his butt and Lindsey Naegle reveals that she has two hand prints on her boobs. Dr. New Haven then flees from the interview. Smartline is then interrupted by a news report that Shelbyville's city council president Simon Kennerly had been attacked by assailants with seltzer bottles.
Dr. New Haven is inspecting the photo of The League of Superheroes when he remembers how he went blue. Professor Frink was doing research into the explosive properties of creams and custards when it exploded, turning him blue. He then took on the name of Dr. New Haven. Meanwhile, at The Android's Dungeon, Milhouse is still reading the copy of Radioactive Man. Pastry Face then goes to Dr. New Haven and asks for his help to stop a disaster involving a pie catapult.
Chapter IV[edit]
In the Simpson basement, Homer and Bart are making cream pies. Pastry Face then enters the basement and reveals that she knows Homer and Bart are Pie Man and Cupcake Kid. Pastry Face reveals that she learned their identities from The Red Dress Press, Lisa's newspaper. Pastry Face then tells them that they have to stop Marge before she bakes again. Meanwhile, Marge is at the Speed-E-Mart in Shelbyville to get the last ingredient she needs for her bake-off entry.
Pastry Face tells Pie Man and Cupcake Kid that they need to get help from the first Pie Man, Abraham Simpson. Grampa tells them that everyone was a superhero back then. He tells the heroes that he used the wrong ingredient in the pie that Betty Firecrocker made for the bake-off, which ended up poisoning the judges. Back in the Simpson basement, the three assailants to seltzered Simon Kennerly pull down the pants of Pie Man, Cupcake Kid and Pastry Face, revealing Pastry Face to be Lisa.
Chapter V[edit]
As Homer and Bart come to terms with the realization, the police enter the basement. Pie Man and Cupcake Kid flee, but the police arrest the assailants, who turn out to be Jimbo, Dolph and Kearney. Dr. Hibbert gives a psychological evaluation to Kearney, where he makes Kearney read the Radioactive Man comic. At the bake-off, Dr. Hibbert talks about Kearney's evaluation to the other guests. Meanwhile, Dr. New Haven is trying to disarm the pie catapult. When Krusty walks into the room, Dr. New Haven tells him to be careful, but the pie catapult goes off, flinging Krusty and causing a cream bomb to go off.
Chapter VI[edit]
The entirety of Springfield is now covered in cream. Meanwhile, Milhouse finishes the comic to find that the last panels and the credits have been removed. Pastry Face then figures out who was behind everything. Pastry Face gets all the other superheroes together where they confront Bart. Pastry Face reveals that the pranks were inspired by the Radioactive Man comic that Milhouse was reading, telling everyone that Bart wrote it and won a comic writing contest with it. Bart also got $1000 worth of fun bucks for winning, which he used to pay the bullies to do pranks on his behalf.
Meanwhile, Marge is at the bake-off again, where she wins first prize for making a cream pie with all the cream in Springfield. As Quimby and Kennerly cut into the cream pie, it explodes, covering the town once more. Meanwhile, Cletus sees it explode and decides to put a recipe submitted by El Barto into The New Springfieldsman.
Reprints[edit]
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