hey my names reuven i use he/they pronouns and i like to act out :^) also sometimes i make art about my feelings 🤧
ko-fi // instagram // website // youtube
sorry for all the posts i ate an egg about 10 minutes ago
Anonymous asked
Howdy! I’m back to ask my question! I really appreciate you taking the time to reply (to both this ask and my previous one!) 💛
Do you have any advice on how to not be scared of creating again? Or how to cope with creating something you don’t necessarily like? For some context I was prescribed adderall a few years ago and abused my prescription pretty severely. I don’t talk to people about it (besides my therapist) because it really messed up with how I perceive myself and my creative process. Every time I try to create now that I’m not on adderall (I’ve been off of it for about 2 years and on Ritalin for about 6 months) I feel like its just not the same. When I was on adderall I felt euphoric when creating and now it just feels like there’s a disconnect. I want to create. Desperately. I just feel like everything good about my writing/art/brain came from the adderall.
here’s my advice, as a two weeks off of ritalin right now, so my truest best advice would be to adapt anything that sparks your brain into something you can try in a little experiment.
it’s about the process, unfortunately. at the end of the day, you have to learn to love the process of making something more than the end result. which isn’t to say you can’t LOVE a result. or aim to make something you love. but that there is not moral judgement to making bad art.
and there really isnt.
if art school taught me anything is that people will roll up to critique with the ugliest bullshit they made in two hours last night and you still have to come up with something to say about it.
there is ALWAYS something worthwhile about art, even if YOU don’t like it. you have to find it yourself. You have to think about it and say well WHAT exactly don’t i like about this piece and then you have to answer that!!!! If you like something, WHY??? don’t just put it away as soon as you finish it.
(also, it’s OKAY to like your art and THINK ABOUT IT. you are ALLOWED TO and are not being OVERLY CONFIDENT or VAIN or NARCISSISTIC or whatever word people sling around to make you feel bad for being part of a social species)
the thing about art is that its all data. it involves a massive amount of skills, including: building up a visual library and the skills to execute a specific technique and also project management, maintaining focus, motivation and brain capacity while also managing the rest of your damn life in a society that hates when anyone does something for their own health. ITS HARD TO LOVE THE PROCESS WHEN THE FINISHED PIECE FEELS SO GOOD TOO.
but that’s why its not about the final piece and how you feel about it. as someone who has made a TON of art, even the pieces i hated the most when i made have now grown on me quite a bit. I’ve posted things i swore i would NEVER let see the light of day initially.
it’s about opening your heart to whatever the outcome maybe when it arrives. its about loving the art for what it is, finding the beauty in small details and moments of awe and euphoria.
it’s about allowing those moments to even exist. to be possible.
like its not about loving what you could do on ritalin. it’s learning to love the things you do off of it.
everyday we invent new ways to become more ourselves
healing is freeing healing is a new sense of comfort in yourself healing is the most difficult thing you will ever do in your entire life and it will become the reason you are both Living and Alive Still
the path of healing fuckign sucks. but its more about what you become along the way
feeling very…..if i can do it after all, i owe it to the people who can’t do it to give it my best shot……u know?
Anonymous asked
Howdy! I thought I’d ask for permission before sending the actual ask, but, would you mind if I asked a question pertaining to addiction and creativity? I know it’s a really sensitive subject and I don’t want to overstep. Please don’t hesitate to say no!
sure please go ahead! i’ll do my best to respond :-)
i want to make a flexible rule in my worldbuilding where i can’t erase an idea that i have already established as canon, i have to rephrase it instead to make it fit my new perspective on whatever aspect of my world it is referencing.
like if i want to change the magic system from onomancy, true name magic, to a melodic musical based magic instead. i can do that by rephrasing the established canon. but i cannot remove it entirely!!!!
feeling the type of lunacy only the lunar eclipse of the full moon in virgo could bring in my (four virgos in my chart) life
WHAT