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Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment

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  This article was the subject of a Wiki Education Foundation-supported course assignment, between 5 September 2019 and 4 December 2019. Further details are available on the course page. Student editor(s): Water392. Peer reviewers: Fallszn, Blooming sunflower, Samosa29.

Above undated message substituted from Template:Dashboard.wikiedu.org assignment by PrimeBOT (talk) 10:41, 17 January 2022 (UTC)Reply

Peer Review

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Hi there! You have added some great content to Tamra Davis' page. You also have a great use of references throughout; everything is backed up by reliable sources. I only found a couple edits that you could make to your page. Here are a few:

  1. 1 When I read the statement "Over the past seven years, Tamra Davis has made a name for herself directing cutting-edge videos..." I view it as a subjective claim rather than objective. The questions raised with this statement are: is this a widely held opinion? According to who has she made a name for herself? Are there other reliable sources that also state this? For this statement, I would maybe add a reference or rephrase so that it does not pose an issue of neutrality and original research.
  2. 2 The sentence "In the books Feminist Hollywood: From Born in Flames to Point Break and Women Film Directors: An International Bio-Critical Dictionary state the studio disagreed with the feminist approach Davis was taking for the film Bad Girls (1994)" is confusing. I would rephrase this sentence to maybe "...it is stated that...".
  3. 3 Refer to your filmmaker as "Davis" throughout rather than switching back and forth between "Davis" and "Tamra Davis". This makes it more formal.

You have done a great job editing this director's page! I hope this feedback helps.Fallszn (talk) 20:50, 31 October 2019 (UTC)FallsznReply