Talk:Strang School District No. 36/GA1

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Reviewer: Bladeboy1889 (talk · contribs) 10:42, 6 July 2012 (UTC) I'll give this one a go over the next couple of days. Cheers.Reply

In reviews I tend to make small tweaks to the text myself where it's quicker than writing up notes here and leave more specific comments in the review. Prose changes are suggestions and am happy to discuss if there are valid reasons for not making the change.

Lead:

• This is right on the cusp of being too short although the length of the article doesn't really offer much scope to expand it. Just worth noting to make sure it doesn't get slimmed down any further at any point.
• It refers to Strang as a small city and then in the next sentence as a town - which is it?

• Actually, it's a village. Changed both to proper.

• "located in that location" - change to something like 'had previously stood in that location'?

• Wording changed.

• 'built between' rather than 'during the years of'

• Changed

• 'still contains' -> 'retains'

• Fixed

History:

• I'm guessing the town meeting would have been to plan / design / discuss the school not to build it as the sentence implies? Could you reword to clarify.

• Reworded

• Is there a wikilink possible for 'fireproof' - is there an existing article that covers that style of building?

• Linked to "Fireproof Building"

• Removed link, as it was to a historic building in charleston. No page on the architectural style.

• Odd - there are a lot of articles describing buildings as being built in a 'fireproof' style but no article on what that actually means - might be worth bringing up in a relevant wikiproject. Leave as is for now then.Bladeboy1889 (talk)

• 'in order to' -> not needed, just use 'to'

• Changed

• 'So far' -> change to 'since then'

• Fixed

Architecture:

• Uses 'near perfect' in consecutive sentences - reword to remove one of them.

• Reworded

• Height - really? No one knows how high it is? If there are no sources maybe reword to say that it's height is unrecorded in it's documentation.

• Fixed

Education:

• Enrolment data - has there been no change since 2004? That's now 8 years ago and so could appear a bit of an arbitrary date.

• Unfortunantely, I can only find data up to 2005. Because the school is not its own isd, since 2005, the Nebraska Department of Education hasn't published the enrollment data.

• I added a clause to say that was the last available data. Bladeboy1889 (talk)

Significance:

• 'Year of significance' - is that a standard way of referring to these sort of listings? It reads a bit odd to me but if it is a widely used term then fine.

• As far as I have been able to see, the "year of significance" is a required field for registered sites, describing the year the site was most important in.

• 'The school is considered...' by who? Maybe better to say is described in the (report / listing / etc) as being significant...'

• Clarified

That's about it - if you could have a look at the points above it'll be pretty much there. I'll put on hold in the meantime. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 13:59, 7 July 2012 (UTC)Reply

I have responded to all of the points above. Thanks for the review, - Awardgive, the editor with the msitaken name. 18:41, 7 July 2012 (UTC)Reply

I've made a couple of tweaks but it all looks good now. Thanks for the quick response. Bladeboy1889 (talk) 08:58, 8 July 2012 (UTC)Reply