Talk:1914 Lubin vault fire/GA1

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Reviewer: GhostRiver (talk · contribs) 16:41, 16 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

I will be taking a look at this! — GhostRiver 16:41, 16 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

Good Article review progress box Criteria: 1a. prose ( ) 1b. MoS ( ) 2a. ref layout ( ) 2b. cites WP:RS ( ) 2c. no WP:OR ( ) 2d. no WP:CV ( ) 3a. broadness ( ) 3b. focus ( ) 4. neutral ( ) 5. stable ( ) 6a. free or tagged images ( ) 6b. pics relevant ( ) Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked   are unassessed

• "While this tragic fire" for NPOV
• The infobox is supposed to be a snapshot of the event; as such, some of the parameters need to be condensed as such:
  • Cause: Unverified
  • Outcome: Destruction of $500,000 to $1,500,000 of motion picture footage
  • Deaths: 1 (unconfirmed)
  • Non-fatal injuries: 20

• "was then" → "was at that time"
• Comma after "motion picture facilities in the world"
• Use the conversion template on the "9,600-square-foot studio" and on "1.5 million feet"
• Delink "product" and "city" in the blockquote per MOS:OVERLINK and MOS:EASTEREGG

• "and were a subject of ongoing concern"
• Same thing as above with the conversion templates
• "This chambered configuration was intended"
• Last sentence of the section requires a citation.

• Citations are needed in the first paragraph, for all sentences following "fire-suppression capability"
• Link "Edison's studio" to Edison Studios

• Last sentence of the third paragraph requires a citation

• Link Philadelphia Fire Department
• I'm not a particular fan of this subhead, particularly "heroes" in quotation marks. Maybe something like "Aid from actors"?

• This subhead can be named just "Suspected causes"
• "and officially unverified" → "was never officially verified"
• "heatwave" → "heat wave"

• Last sentence of the first paragraph needs a citation
• This subhead can be named simply "Losses" or "Aftermath"
• Delink "trade publications", mentioned and linked earlier
• "for fire insurance coverage" → "as fire insurance coverage"

• Good

• Good

• Delink "aeroplane" per MOS:OVERLINK

• "Over nearly two decades, from Siegmund Lubin's first film in 1897 of a horse simply eating hay to early 1914, the motion picture mogul had accumulated either out of personal interest or for their commercial entertainment value, many hundreds of documentary films relating to historical events and notable personalities." → "Over nearly two decades, Lubin had accumulated, either out of personal interest or for their commercial entertainment value, many hundreds of documentary films relating to historical events and notable personalities, from his first 1897 film of a horse eating hay to early 1914."

• Hyphen to en dash in "1894-1912"

• I've taken the liberty of correcting all number ranges to en dashes rather than hyphens throughout. —BLZ · talk 05:13, 17 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

• Link "turn of the century" to the Wikipedia article rather than the Wiktionary definition
• Last sentence of the section requires a citation

• Last paragraph before the "Revised film-storage guidelines" subhead requires a citation

• Sentence beginning "It is probably that Lubin's fire" requires a citation
• Provide the (NFPA) acronym after the full title is introduced (i.e. "by the National Fire Protection Association (NFPA)")

• End of the first paragraph requires a citation

• Every footnote needs to be referenced as well as the main body.

• All photos are public domain and relevant
• No stability concerns in the revision history
• Copyvio score looks good at 10.7%

Putting on hold for now. The biggest recurring issue I saw had to do with WP:INTEGRITY. Although not an official rule, it is generally accepted that a source used between two paragraphs should be cited in each paragraph. In the meantime, I am putting this article on hold; feel free to reach out with any questions. — GhostRiver 22:03, 16 October 2021 (UTC)Reply

Thank you for making those changes. The footnote citations should ideally be in the same style as the other references; I or BMZ can show you how to do that, but ultimately that is a minor aesthetic point, and all of my other comments have been resolved, so I am marking this as a ✓ Pass for now. Congrats on your GA! — GhostRiver 21:34, 21 October 2021 (UTC)Reply