Talk:Daydream (Mariah Carey album)/GA1

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Reviewer: CrowzRSA 23:45, 4 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Review

• Released on October 3, 1995 by Columbia Records, the album leaned towards hip hop and Contemporary R&B compared to her previous albums There should be a "the" before hip hop and and add "genres" after R&B. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• with whom she co-wrote and co-produced most of her two previous albums take off the "co"s. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• in her next release, Butterfly (1997) change to "in her 1997 release, Butterfly."
• There were disagreements during production with Columbia about the album's style, disputes that were reflected in her marriage at the time to Tommy Mottola, head of her music label. this sentence needs cleaning-up. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• The album saw Carey grow and find herself as an artist This reads weird, since an album "seeing" really isn't the best wording here. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• While Columbia allowed Carey more freedom with the music Freedom is poor wording, perhaps leniency or something. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• The blockquote in "Background" is only three sentences, and therefore is below the number of sentences where blockquotes are required per MOS:QUOTE. Just opinion wise, I don't think it should have its own block. But I guess it's fine. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• with then husband, Tommy Mottola Insert "her" after with. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• exerted over her career soon spilled into her personal life "spilled" is a weasel word. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• Soon, it was obvious that their marriage was in trouble, as stated in a Vanity Fair article, "the couple began to argue at the drop of a hat." Where does it say that it was obvious in the reference? "was in trouble" seems to be poor English and needs to be reworded. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• Carey was very absorbed in the project "absorbed" is a weasel word. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• mirror the way she saw fir "reflect her views on how it should sound." CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• Mottola continued to deteriorate reword, "deteriorate" may also be a weasel word. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• The section "Recording and composition" may deserve the name "Conception and composition". CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• she remembered the song "Genius of Love" by Tom Tom Club. I don't think "remembered" is the best wording here. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• idea of sampling the song's catchy hook. remove "catchy hook". CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• featuring rap verses from O.D.B of the Wu-Tang Clan, Hip-hop, not rap.
• Carey had the idea and chorus "Idea" should be changed to concept. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• Together, Carey built "they", not "Carey"
• The song featured a real "'70s soul vibe" remove "real". CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• give the song an authentic 70s sound apostrophe before 70s. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• What is "gospel" in music? CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • Its linked--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 04:43, 24 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• something that would have proved difficult for a "less skilled vocalist." This is not neutral. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • It is quoted from the book.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 04:43, 24 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• However, she wasn't about to completely abandon Replace "about" with "going". CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• The song's writing and production were "superb," with each "superb" really deserve quotation marks. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
  • It is in quotations.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 04:45, 24 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• The song was as "strong as any slow jam released in the nineties, and one that would find a lot of flavor late at night with dancers." State the quote's author. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• "near-perfect blend of uptempo r&b/hip hop and lush ballads." "r&b" should be capitalized. CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• "Fantasy", writing "The bumping since writing is used three other times in the section, "writing" should be replaced with "noted that". CrowzRSA 01:31, 11 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• A very limited release - reword to a limited number of pressings. CrowzRSA 00:33, 18 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]
• The main article of Promotion is said to be "Daydream World Tour", perhaps this should be changed to {{Template:Details}} since it isn't all about that article. CrowzRSA 00:33, 18 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

 Still Doin...

Non-reviewer comment - The captions of the audio samples need to be addressed as the samples are in the recording and composition section, yet they are talking about charting. Candyo32 09:04, 6 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

• Fixed that--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 06:40, 7 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

• • I believe its all done now.--CallMeNathan • Talk2Me 04:49, 24 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]