Talk:I Am... Sasha Fierce/GA1
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Reviewer: I Help, When I Can. [12] 00:56, 7 April 2011 (UTC)
If a section has "Reviewing..." on it don't touch it. You are allowed to answer everything else. If a comment is striked out, it has been 100% resolved. I'm not continuing until these issues are addressed. I kind of feel like you guys have lost intrest in this GA.
- It is reasonably well written.
- a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
- Production and development
"In a letter directed for her fans on October 2, 2008..." Is this supposed to be "directed to/towards" or "dedicated to/towards". I don't understand.Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)- When you list producers and songwriters, you have a mix of stage names and legal names (Tricky Stewart, yet Terius Nash?). Choose one and stick to it. WikiPolicy would agree with stage names. As for Rodney Jerkins, that is ok as is.
Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)- Not done Checked it, still there. I Help, When I Can. [12] 04:05, 25 April 2011 (UTC)
Stargate links to the wrong article.Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)"...Rico Love and Ryan Tedder, the latter who assisted her with crafting the album's balladry.[7][7]" You cited #7 twice.Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)"Additionally, she collaborated with some musicians that she hadn’t worked with in the past..." Get rid of the contraction.Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:34, 24 April 2011 (UTC)"Recording for the album took place over eight months, at which time Knowles had co-written and co-produced over seventy songs. After a process of elimination, twelve tracks were selected to be placed on the Standard Edition of the album, while five additional tracks were chosen to make the final cut for the Deluxe Edition of the album." Words in red are MOS:NUM violations. Words in blue, why the capitalization?
How do they violate MOS:NUM? If you are speaking of WP:ORDINAL, please read it again. Capitalisation issues are fixed.Adabow (talk · contribs) 02:12, 28 April 2011 (UTC)
"Knowles wanted to try something different[;] she felt people had strong expectations for her work. The sentence might make more sense if that semicolon was there.Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)"Additionally, Beyoncé worked with Amanda Ghost to re-write the Schubert "Ave Maria" after..." I'm taking a wild guess that the person mentioned here is Franz Schubert. If this is the case, this is his first mention in the article. It should have his full name and be linked.Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)"Ghost told [the] Daily Telegraph that both Knowles and herself were inspired by their respective recent marriages..." I don't know about you, but I can understand this sentence just fine without "respective". Also, the the in the brackets could help.Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)"For [the] "I Am..." [side of the record], Knowles was influenced..." Please clarify this using a variation of the words in brackets. You switched topics right from under my nose and I didn't notice.Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)- "The only producer-songwriter duo to make both sides of the album is Tricky Stewart and The Dream..." THIS is why you need to use stage names. And if you don't, you need to make all mentions of people UNIFORM. If I didn't know their work, I would be confused now.
Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)- Not done.
I thought you were gonna describe the "I Am..." side then the "Sasha Fierce" side. Now I'm confused. Fix it. Maybe this sentence is the problem, "The disc utilizes production and songwriting from Jerkins, Garrett, Solange, Love and Jonsin." Since the first sentence of the paragraph talks about "I Am..." I assume that this sentence is about "I Am..." also.Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)
- Composition
"The second disc, Sasha Fierce contains consistent..."PLEASE come up with a uniform way to address both sides of the album, using italics or quotes, I don't care.Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)- Almost. Please note that I did not list every single instance of this issue. Please go through the article and correct all of it. I Help, When I Can. [12] 04:05, 25 April 2011 (UTC)
- "Bill Lamb of About.com commented about the songs on the Sasha Fierce side, stating "Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It)" is a throwback to B'Day's "Get Me Bodied"."
Same as above (Sasha Fierce).Also, that is the first mention of B'Day in the main article. Link it.Done Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC) - "The album formally introduces Knowles' alter-ego "Sasha Fierce"." You need to sort this out. When is it the alter ego, the other side of the album, etc.
- Seems like you do not know a lot about Beyonce. Lol. "Sasha Fierce" is both her alter-ego and the name of the second disc. Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)
- You seem to have misunderstood me. I know a lot about Beyonce, but not every person who comes to this article is gonna be a Beyonce STAN. When I review it, I'm taking a 100% blind approach to it. Not everyone knows as much as us. I was telling you to differentiate mentions. Make it clear when you are talking about the ego and when you are talking about the side. I Help, When I Can. [12] 03:32, 25 April 2011 (UTC)
- Seems like you do not know a lot about Beyonce. Lol. "Sasha Fierce" is both her alter-ego and the name of the second disc. Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)
- The robo-glove comments ride the line of "What the hell does that have to do with anything?" If you can, make it more involved.
- You will have to surf on the net for her alter ego. You will find all this. This information deserves a place here. Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)
- What does ONE robo-glove have to do with the composition of the album, let alone her alter-ego? I Help, When I Can. [12] 03:32, 25 April 2011 (UTC)
- You will have to surf on the net for her alter ego. You will find all this. This information deserves a place here. Jivesh • Talk2Me 11:33, 24 April 2011 (UTC)
- Musical style and lyrical content
- Reviewing...
- Release
- "The Deluxe edition of the album was released simultaneously with the Standard edition. Why the italics? Why the capitalization??
Fixed Jivesh • Talk2Me 12:03, 24 April 2011 (UTC)- Not done
- "Finally, the Platinum edition of I Am... Sasha Fierce was released..." Same as above (Platinum edition).
Fixed Jivesh • Talk2Me 12:03, 24 April 2011 (UTC)- Not done
- "The Deluxe edition of the album was re-issued..." Same.
Fixed Jivesh • Talk2Me 12:03, 24 April 2011 (UTC)- Not done
"Knowles also performed the song on her I Am... Tour..." Tours aren't italicized.Fixed Jivesh • Talk2Me 12:03, 24 April 2011 (UTC)"After the release of the EP – I Am...Sasha Fierce – The Bonus Tracks in Korea..." Is that the full name?Fixed Jivesh • Talk2Me 12:03, 24 April 2011 (UTC)- "After its release as a promotional single..." Promotional singles aren't offered to the public for purchase.
- Please see Wikipedia:Promotional singles. Jivesh • Talk2Me 12:03, 24 April 2011 (UTC)
- Ok... That supports my statement... I Help, When I Can. [12] 03:32, 25 April 2011 (UTC)
- Please see Wikipedia:Promotional singles. Jivesh • Talk2Me 12:03, 24 April 2011 (UTC)
- "The Deluxe edition of the album was released simultaneously with the Standard edition. Why the italics? Why the capitalization??
- Promotion
- Reviewing...
- I Am... Tour
- Reviewing...
- Singles
- Reviewing...
- Commercial performance
- Reviewing...
- Critical reception
- Reviewing...
- Recognitions and accolades
- Reviewing...
- Track listing
- Reviewing...
- Personnel
- Reviewing...
- Charts and certifications
- Reviewing...
- Release history
- Reviewing...
- Misc.
- MOS:IMAGES says that you should attempt to stagger images in an article, but the layout is done so well, this can be overlooked. It's a guideline anyway.
- Production and development
- a (prose): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
- It is factually accurate and verifiable.
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- Lead
I do not believe the Lady Gaga version of "Video Phone" was released. Check into the matter.
- Production and development
- The 2007 part is not directly cited, but I am guessing you inferred that from the article "for close to one year". I'd prefer if you get a direct citation.
- Correct the link for #8. Sends to the wrong page (it goes to page 3 instead of 4).
- Composition
- Reviewing...
- Musical style and lyrical content
- Reviewing...
- Release
- Reviewing...
- Promotion
- Reviewing...
- I Am... Tour
- Reviewing...
- Singles
- Reviewing...
- Commercial performance
- Reviewing...
- Critical reception
- Reviewing...
- Recognitions and accolades
- Reviewing...
- Track listing
- Unsourced (yes, this needs to be sourced too). Also, cite something that can be reviewed without buying the actual album (Allmusic, Itunes, etc).
- Personnel
- Reviewing...
- Charts and certifications
- Reviewing...
- Release history
- Reviewing...
- Misc.
- Why is the citation for #6 underlined? Use the Template:Cite music release notes template.
- Check your citation links here; slew of errors.
- Lead
- a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
- It is broad in its coverage.
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- a (major aspects): b (focused):
- It follows the neutral point of view policy.
- Fair representation without bias:
- Fair representation without bias:
- It is stable.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It seems like they are in control of IP edits and unsourced ones. There's always semi-protection.
- No edit wars, etc.:
- It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Notes:
- Check your captions. They go back and forth between using periods and not using periods. Rule of thumb (adapted from WP:CAP), if the caption isn't a complete sentence ("I Am... Sasha Fierce earned Knowles eight nominations at the 52nd Grammy Awards." = actual, full sentence. "Knowles performing in I Am... Tour." ≠ actual, full sentence.) don't use a period.
- In some instances (here and here; here and here), the captions do not match the descriptions on the file page. Why is this a problem? Could be mistaken as original research. Deal with this issue.
- The article makes a mention of two covers for both sides of the album. Out of all of the instances in Wikipedia, THIS would be the most appropriate time to include both covers in the article.
- Notes:
- a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
- Overall:
- Pass/Fail:
- Pass/Fail:
- I will start most probably tomorrow. I had a very bad day in real life. I am feeling sick. Jivesh • Talk2Me 09:52, 8 April 2011 (UTC)
- I believe everything has been addressed by Jivesh and me. Adabow (talk · contribs) 08:18, 16 April 2011 (UTC)
- No no please do not think so. It's just that i have been very busy. Please please give me some time. Jivesh • Talk2Me 15:41, 10 May 2011 (UTC)
- I believe everything has been addressed by Jivesh and me. Adabow (talk · contribs) 08:18, 16 April 2011 (UTC)
- Comment by outside party This review has been going on for a month and a half ... what's the status? It looks not even half done. /ƒETCHCOMMS/ 02:29, 23 May 2011 (UTC)
Review stalled?
Can I suggest that if the review is not completed by June 6, 2011 (7 days from now) that the review is automatically terminated. Its been ongoing since March 6, 2011. Three months is enough time already. — Lil_℧niquℇ №1 [talk] 01:38, 30 May 2011 (UTC)
- Err, it was actually April 6, but yeah I agree, two months is way too long anyway. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:30, 30 May 2011 (UTC)
- Seems like IHelpWhenICan has left Wikipedia. Novice7 (talk) 04:40, 30 May 2011 (UTC)
- He has been editing in the past few days. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:48, 30 May 2011 (UTC)
- Actually I don't know.. The template on his talk page. Novice7 (talk) 06:28, 30 May 2011 (UTC)
- He has been editing in the past few days. Adabow (talk · contribs) 04:48, 30 May 2011 (UTC)
- Seems like IHelpWhenICan has left Wikipedia. Novice7 (talk) 04:40, 30 May 2011 (UTC)