Pi

Pi inspired the pi-e. No, pie actually.

“Pi ‘r’ square.”

– Helen Crump on Opie’s homework

“No, pie are round. Cornbread are square.”

– Andy Taylor (Pa)

“What’s wrong with me?”

~ Aunt Bea

“There are long [1] and short [2]”

– POP TEAM EPIC

Pi is the single most important invention of the modern age. Pi is the key ingredient that allowed primitive man to invent the concept of circles. And the invention of circles led to the invention of the wheel. Pi invented the wheel and much more.

Here is a list of some stuff that Pi helped invent:

• Pie
• Cups
• Jars
• Wheels
• Airplanes
• Nighttime
• Computers

YEAH HEY GUESS WHAT. PI HELPED INVENT THE NIGHTTIMES. Oh shit sorry I got a bit over excited there. But holy shit man. This is Pi we're talking about. And Pi invented the nighttime. And the nighttime invented basketball. And basketball invented that documentary with the guy that sells the shoes.

The invention of basketball

It was a dark and stormy NIGHT. Three wisemen were riding towards Harlem on giant tanks made of gold and covered in diamonds and rubies and emeralds and the heads of women and children from Canada. Suddenly Jesus. And a bathtub full of acid. And next thing you know Heith Ledger is dead and basketball is on CNN every morning at 18 blue donkey hour.

More stuff that Pi helped invent

• New world records
• Keanu Reeves
• Hollywood
• Mexico
• Trees
• The wind
• Guns
• Batman
• Capitalism and Communism
• Donald Trump
• You & Poo
• Anything round
• :)

Important safety information

Don't stop believing. Because if you stop believing, Journey will get mad at you, and when Journey gets mad, they summon an army of potatoes to start the apocalypse. And we wouldn’t want that, would we?

What is believing?

Believing is when you think something to be true with your mind, brain, body, and soul. It is a religious practice that dates back to the beginning of time. Pi did not invent believing, but you can believe that it did if you try hard enough. I believe that you can believe if only you believe that you can believe. Believe me, I believe in belief.

Other important things that Pi made possible

• Star Trek
• Rap music
• Democracy
• Rum
• Unprotected sex
• The weekend
• Clocks
• Time

How Pi invented time

One day Pi was chilling pool side with his homies, smoking a blunt and discussing the finer points of fried chicken. Suddenly Pi said, "I would certainly like some fried chicken right now." But because time hadn't been invented yet he couldn't move his limbs. He could only move his mouth. So, with his mouth he started making clicking noises, using his tongue and the roof of his mouth. His homies asked him what he was doing and he explained, "I have just invented the first clock!" Suddenly they could all move their arms and legs and thoraxes so they stood up and walked away from the pool. They walked and walked and everywhere they went, time spread. Children who previously could only move their mouths were suddenly able to play and dance and sing. Eventually Pi and his homies arrived at their local fried chicken dispensary and ordered a bunch of chicken and enjoyed it.

Home-made apple pi

Chill 3 cups apple sauce.

• Add 1/10 cup sugar.
• Add 4/100 cup flour.
• Add 1/1000 cup lemon juice.
• Add 5/10000 cup cinnamon.
• Add 9/100000 cup salt.
• Add 2/1000000 cup ground nutmeg.
• Add 6/10000000 cup apple sauce.
• Add 5/100000000 cup sugar.
• Add 3/1000000000 cup flour.
• Add 5/10000000000 cup lemon juice.
• Add 8/100000000000 cup cinnamon.
• Add 9/1000000000000 cup salt.
• Add 7/10000000000000 cup ground nutmeg.
• Add 9/100000000000000 cup apple sauce.
• Add 3/1000000000000000 cup sugar.
• Add 2/10000000000000000 cup flour.
• Add 3/100000000000000000 cup lemon juice.
• Add 8/1000000000000000000 cup cinnamon.
• Add 4/10000000000000000000 cup salt.
• Add 6/100000000000000000000 cup ground nutmeg.
• Add 2/1000000000000000000000 cup apple sauce .................................

So on in the pattern of 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