Deletion

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“This quote has been deleted.”
~ Oscar Wilde on deletion

Deletion is the violent act of deliberately and maliciously removing shitty articles from an encyclopedia.

Reasons for deletion[edit | edit source]

It is vital for any dictatorship-driven encyclopedia to delete as many articles as possible, for the following reasons:

If information is well-known, it is boring and nobody will want to read about it again in an encyclopedia; repeating obvious information has been scientifically proven to harm its reputation.
If information is unknown, the encyclopedia should respect the fact that it's secret; telling other people's secrets is naughty and will once more harm their reputation.
As you well know, most other people aren't nearly as intelligent or knowledgeable as you are, and therefore any article not written by you is likely to be a piece of crap anyway.
Any encyclopedia that doesn't delete articles will eventually become infinite in size, thus creating a paradox that will cause the universe to collapse. It is in our best interest to prevent this, and cause human extinction by more acceptable means such as nuclear war.

A corollary of point three is that it is vital to delete as much information as possible about schools and, if possible, wipe the schools themselves from the map. After all, you wouldn't want other people to have education to become as intelligent as you are, and thereby challenge your superiority over them.

Merging[edit | edit source]

Merging is almost the same as deletion. The main difference is that after sufficient merging, the encyclopedia will end up having one article left, whereas after sufficient deletion, it will have zero. Compared to the dangers of an infinitely large encyclopedia, this difference is trivial.

Conspiracy[edit | edit source]

On large encyclopedias such as Wikipedia, a lot of independent groups make sure that deletion involves a sufficient amount of bureaucracy. Therefore, an article cannot be deleted until it has been discussed in at least three different courts of appeal, and generated shouting matches to total at least twice the article's length.

The debate mostly consists of repetitive arguments and name calling between three main cabals. They have the following characteristics:

The cluesionists are people who think they have more of a clue than the others, and therefore consider everybody else to be wrong.
The elitists are people who think they are more elite than the others, and therefore consider everybody else to be wrong.
The merryists simply stand to the side and laugh with themselves about the other factions, and therefore consider everybody around them to be wrong.