A.I steals my job; introduce devRant to A.I; A.I gets too busy ranting about all the stupid shit humans have messed up; Get my job back.

Machine Learning messed up!

Who. The. Fuck. Did. This.

Happens to me all the time....

Messed up dawg.......

Well the screen resolutions are a little messed up and I had to crop the wallpaper in an odd way. But it's something.

Client: Hi. my SEO guy messed up the website. Its kind of .... you know .... gone. You must have the backup. Please restore

Me (after 10 mins): Done

.............

Client: Hi again. I don't see my changes from yesterday. Why?

Me: Because I had 2 months old backup.

Client: Why?

Me: Because that's the last time I worked on your website. And you changed the credentials later on.

Client: But you're a programmer. You must have had a back door to take back ups.

........

Client: Hello?

Me: It's time to leave earth.

Client wants PHP 7.2. I install PHP 7.1 by accident.

Client complains that I don't respond fast enough after 30 minutes (!).
I was in an appointment. I check the ticket. He messed up his entire server by trying to install PHP 7.2 himself because he couldn't wait half an hour longer. We always aim at 4 hours response time, and we hit it with every reply..

I apologize and tell him the costs for me fixing his mess. The client: "if it feels right for you to charge me because you never did your work right, do it."

Some people. How? HOW???

Applies to a lot of people..

Also, I really want to dual boot Manjaro, but every time something gets messed up :/

Never in my life I was scared as today.
I recently left a big company to work for a small one as the first internal developer.
Had a small issue in the production server. The fix was easy, just remove a single table entry. And... *drum roll*... I forgot to add a where clause. All orders were lost.
No idea if we had backups or anything, I quickly called the one other IT dude in the company.
He had no clue where are the backups and how to find them.
Having some experience with Nmap, I quickly scanned our network and found a Nas device.
There was a backup, whole VHD backup. 300GB of it, the download speed is around 512kb/s. No way I can fix it before management finds out, but then an idea came to mind. Old glorious 7zip. Managed to extract only the database files, sent them to the server and quickly swapped them. Everything was fine... The manager connected 5 minutes later. Scariest 45 minutes of my life...

Git branches be so messed up, Its like sisters are marrying cousin's of brother's aunt's nephew's twice removed conjoined twins.

I hate it when clients force me to fix their fucking magentos with crappy javascript fuckarrounds because the shop is already a huge pile of fuck with window resize events fucking up all onservers. 4 jquery includes all messed up fucking each other in a cum gobbling bukkake because you never know which jQuery, $j, jsm or jFuckYou is bound to which library. I know i have to spill my own fuck all over that fuck. Frontpage slider is raping the search results for slides leaving dead meat in the results foreever. Fuck your fucking fuck you fucking fucker.

Well someone messed up.

Debugging somones hacked site now, you know some developer messed up when the heckers injected code is more readable and structured than the actual sites...

Coworker: This guy's computer is completely messed up...

Me: What? Why?

Coworker: So he installed some virus...

Me: Yeah? And...?

Coworker: And apparently it changed all certificates for antivirus programs into Untrusted Certificates - so he can't install anything that could remove the virus!

Me: That's horrifying..

Being organized even in a messed up situation is a skill tho

I remember the day when my room was messed up and my desktop icons were organized.
But now, my desktop icons are messed up and also my room is.

shit

Who messed up the CSS for the bathroom? 😂

As we may all messed up a (git) repo at the begininng, do you know the surge of adrenalin right before pushing your committed changes or merging branches?

When you messed up 16 years ago and it is still visible....

Teacher: Write a program to print fibonacci series up to 8 terms
Me: *hardcodes 0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13*
Teacher: *runs the programs*
Me: *relieved*
Teacher: *checks the code*
Me:

I have been awake for 21 hours and couldn’t sleep last night, because of long vacation and my bed time is messed up. This is my first day working after training and I got 9~10 hours to go

P.S. coffee doesn’t help

First day, Boss is 2h late and I have to sit on the floor in the hallway waiting for him. No contact info to find out if I messed up or he.

My dad got a new phone over the weekend and asked me to help him set it up (TL;DR his IPhone broke, he likely cussed out someone on the phone and now he's on android).

Setting up his bank app, I asked for his password (I somehow knew asking a 80+ year old man password questions wouldn't end well)

<pulls a card out of his wallet>
Dad: "Here you go."
Me: "This is your business card?"
Dad: "Yep. Password is at the bottom. That way I never forget it."
Me: "Jeez dad, you shouldn't have your bank's password on a business card. You don't give these out to people, do you?"
Dad: "Sometimes. Hell, they won't know what that is. Its just a bunch of nonsense."

Luckily the password didn't work. He had to reset it when his IPhone messed up and didn't remember what he changed the password to.