I was a bit flummoxed by this week’s topic of I Love You but as luck would have it I was in Kendal yesterday and popped into The Famous 1657 Chocolate House as usual and found this bar so I’m going to start it now and I’m sure it will bring me luck in the writing.
I’m not going to write about chocolate, although it’s tempting, but about dating agencies. When I was younger there were loads of different ways of meeting a prospective partner be it through pubs, night clubs, social clubs, work etc. Now I’m retired most of those options are unavailable or not attractive to me and anyway, in general, people now don’t seem to go out as much.
So to get an idea of what those agencies are suggesting I’ve had a trawl through some of the sites looking for suggestions. I’m happy to pass them on. Beginning with this advice:
Many of us are under the illusion that falling in love solves all our problems. Not only is this not true, but a relationship can also bring us a whole new set of problems to navigate. So before you rush into finding love, figure out what you truly want and need. When you can name it, you’ll be able to spot in more clearly when you see it. That’s a good start. Except for the bit about ‘a whole new set of problems’ and ‘what you truly want and need’.
So, I’m going to presume that someone knows the wants and needs (I don’t). What next? The common thread is that you need to take care of yourself first. Devote the time you have on your own to taking really good care of yourself. Make self-care a priority, and try and do at least one thing each day to make yourself feel looked after and loved. This could be good.
They say that there are loads of things you can do. Cook yourself nutritious meals (well I like broccoli), move your body (eh?). Try meditating (on what?), socialize (don’t like it and don’t even mention a dinner party), find a new hobby (fair enough), have a makeover (you what!?)
Pause to say that the chocolate bar is now half way through.
So the agencies suggest that the loads of things will be beneficial for your health on all levels and will promote a more positive outlook on life (no chance, I’m a glass half empty person). Plus, that will tend to attract people who match our own energy (is this a good thing?). So if your vibe is an inspiring, infectious, full of life one, you’re likely to attract people with similar vibrations (exactly the sort of person I would avoid like the plague).
Ok, let’s now presume that you have met someone through an agency, they give tips for that first date:
Do ask questions
Don’t be late
Do put your phone away (Oh, please put your phone away)
Don’t break the bank (bit difficult if it’s a walk in the park)
Do have pristine (?) manners
Don’t pretend
Do present yourself well (I have some wonderful cardigans)
Don’t say I Love You.
Do ask questions
Don’t be late
Do put your phone away (Oh, please put your phone away)
Don’t break the bank (bit difficult if it’s a walk in the park)
Do have pristine (?) manners
Don’t pretend
Do present yourself well (I have some wonderful cardigans)
Don’t say I Love You.
And maybe, just maybe, there will a time and place where you will be able to say those three little words.
The chocolate bar has one bit left and I’m going to have that when I sign out.
This poem was written a few years ago.
On Line Dating
The difficult bit
is the smile,
so thank god for digital cameras.
Two hours and four mirrors
for a self timed natural look
of caring warm sincerity.
After that
the words are a breeze
and so they should be
imagery and rhythm
that space between lines
the bit that’s waiting
to be what you want it to be
which by now is obviously me.
And I’m looking for a woman
who isn’t fun loving
young for her age
who doesn’t like
walking in the rain
on a beach
under a full moon
while boring me senseless
with a wicked sense of humour
before driving herself
back to Camden
to dry those stupid shoes
before a late booking
at that so new Cambodian bistro.
And if you think
I’ve got the nerve
to actually put that down
then please email
all letters answered
photo essential
or if guaranteed even slight likeness
to Meg Ryan (circa Sleepless in Seattle)
please ignore above
and contact direct
on 822...
First published in Pennine Platform, Nov 2009.
The difficult bit
is the smile,
so thank god for digital cameras.
Two hours and four mirrors
for a self timed natural look
of caring warm sincerity.
After that
the words are a breeze
and so they should be
imagery and rhythm
that space between lines
the bit that’s waiting
to be what you want it to be
which by now is obviously me.
And I’m looking for a woman
who isn’t fun loving
young for her age
who doesn’t like
walking in the rain
on a beach
under a full moon
while boring me senseless
with a wicked sense of humour
before driving herself
back to Camden
to dry those stupid shoes
before a late booking
at that so new Cambodian bistro.
And if you think
I’ve got the nerve
to actually put that down
then please email
all letters answered
photo essential
or if guaranteed even slight likeness
to Meg Ryan (circa Sleepless in Seattle)
please ignore above
and contact direct
on 822...
First published in Pennine Platform, Nov 2009.
Thanks for reading, Terry Q.