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The first time Selena meets Kristen Stewart, they're at the 2011 Kid's Choice awards. Selena needed a break, and Kristen is chain-smoking with a few of the waiters.
"You want one?" she asks, with a friendly smile. Selena had heard she never smiled, but she knew better than to believe everything she read online.
"Uh, no thanks," says Selena. "I just needed some air."
"You don't have to tell me," says Kristen. "I hate these things too."
Selena guesses she would.
"Nice to meet you," she offers, a little shyly. "I thought you were amazing in Speak."
Kristen's momentary expression of shock gives way to something more amused. "Nice to meet you too. I get stoned and watch Wizards of Waverly Place sometimes. It's cute."
It should seem like a put-down, but Kristen's slow smile makes it feel intimate, like a private joke. Like they're friends. "I haven't tried that," she says, laughing.
"Well, next time you're stoned and bored."
"Definitely."
Kristen stubs out the cigarette. "Hey, are you really dating Justin Bieber?"
"Yeah."
"Sorry," says Kristen, and winces. "Not like that," she says quickly. "Just the press sucks about that."
"I thought you weren't officially dating."
"And imagine how much worse it would be if we were." She smiles and waves a little. "Good luck. I'm rooting for you."
And then she's gone.
*
The second time is a few months later, at a Teen Choice Awards after party.
"Solo?" asks someone behind her, and Selena jumps and spills beer on her fingers.
"Sorry," says Kristen, with her slow smile. "Didn't mean to scare you."
Selena relaxes, leaning against the wall. "Yeah, I dunno how it happens. There are ten billion people, and it's so loud downstairs. I shouldn't be surprised someone found me."
"You're hiding?"
"I just needed a break," says Selena.
"We keep meeting like this," says Kristen, leaning against the wall next to her. They're in what appears to be Tyler Posey's workout room, which is one of those things that makes Selena wonder about her life. How did she get to this point, hiding from a party next to some MTV guy's freeweights?
"Yeah, well," says Selena. She sighs. "Justin and I had a fight," she admits. "That's why I'm not at Ashley Greene's." She pauses, and looks over at Kristen. "Why aren't you at Ashley Greene's? Isn't she your costar?"
"Posey has the best weed," says Kristen, like this should have been obvious. She takes a long drink. "What did you fight about?"
"Dumb stuff," says Selena. "I don't even remember. He said something, I told him he was an asshole, he said I was being oversensitive." She laughs softly. "It sounds so normal."
Kristen pulls out a lighter and what appears to be some of Tyler Posey's weed. She lights the joint and takes a long drag before offering it to Selena. Selena accepts and pulls in the smoke. She doesn't do this often, but it's happened once or twice, and she doesn't want Kristen thinking she's some loser kid.
Kristen breathes out slowly. "Rob and I are off as much as we're on," she says. "I love him, but we're both pretty shitty at relationships."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah," says Kristen. "But it really shouldn't be a surprise a relationship that started because we got high and started fooling around isn't totally functional."
"I heard he was in love with you," says Selena, and immediately regrets it.
Kristen laughs softly. "Yeah, he was. That's why he did Twilight. But it's hard for love to survive that fucking mess."
Selena thinks she looks a little horrified, because Kristen gives her a gentle smile.
"We're always friends, don't worry. It's just complicated."
And then, she leans in and kisses Selena, soft and slow and deep, so good Selena whimpers a little when she pulls away.
"You'll be okay," says Kristen. "You're a good kid."
*
They pass a few more times, but Selena doesn't really see her again until the 2013 People's Choice Awards. She's going into the bathroom to wash her face and Kristen's in there with Jennifer Lawrence. Jen's dress is pushed up and Kristen's kissing her neck, sliding her fingers inside her and--
Selena flushes and stammers, "Sorry!"
She leaves, and her heart is beating so wildly in her chest she doesn't think it will ever stop.
*
"You can stop avoiding me," says Kristen, at the next Kids' Choice Awards.
"I'm not avoiding you," says Selena. "I never see you. I've seen you like five times in my entire life."
Kristen laughs. "Okay, yeah. But every time we make eye contact you blush and look at something else. It's weird."
"You're weird," Selena mutters. Kristen raises her eyebrows. "Okay, that was immature, but you are. You give me advice, you encourage me to smoke, you kiss me!"
"Is that what this is about?" asks Kristen. "I thought it was about me and Jen."
"Are you dating her?" she asks, before she can stop herself.
Kristen looks at her for a long minute, and Selena realizes she's done. Kristen figured it out.
"What are you doing after?" Kristen asks.
"After?"
"Going to hang out with the Jonas Brothers or something?"
"Nothing specific," says Selena, cautious.
"Okay," says Kristen. "So I'll see you then."
*
Kristen has a limo, and as soon as they're in it, Kristen is on her, dismantling her dress. Selena can barely breathe, she's too busy kissing and panting and being overwhelmed.
It's not a bad feeling, it's just so much.
"I thought functional relationships didn't start," she manages, barely, "with getting high and fooling around."
"Are you high?" asks Kristen, sucking on Selena's shoulder.
"No, but--before. At Tyler's."
"Is this a relationship?" She moves her mouth down to Selena's breast, sucking on her nipple. Selena gasps and arches into it.
"I want it to be," she says, blushing. She's not--she doesn't know how to be casual. She doesn't know how to not want commitment. It makes her feel young and stupid, like she hasn't outgrown the Disney Channel. Adults just have sex all the time. But she's not that girl.
Kristen slides back up to kiss her, the same long, slow kiss as before, something lingering.
"It's okay to want to date someone," says Kristen. "It's not a crime." She nuzzles Selena's neck. "I've wanted to date a lot of people," she says, like she's telling Selena a big secret. "But I'm--I think I'm the kind of person who sabotages herself." She slides her hand up to rub Selena's clit, and it's perfect. "Maybe I don't know how to be happy."
"That's bullshit," says Selena, rolling her hips into it.
Kristen laughs softly. "Yeah?"
"Yeah," she says, surer this time. "Stick with me. I got this."
Kristen pulls her closer and they rock together. "Well, in that case."
*
They show up together to the 2014 Kids' Choice Awards. The press goes into overdrive, but all the speculation is how they became friends. Kristen says she's never been so glad for heteronormativity.
They smoke in the back--or, Kristen smokes, because cigarettes still make Selena choke. They don't have sex in the bathroom, because they can just have sex at home.
"This time next year," says Kristen. "You'll be an exhibitionist by then."
"Pretty sure of yourself," says Selena.
"I'm pretty great," says Kristen, and Selena smiles.
"Yeah," she says. "You're all right."