Chapter Text
Entertain Us (It’s Less Dangerous )
Chapter one: He’s Overbored And Self Assured
Golden one , sing the birds crowing him once more, Guardian whispers the sky. Sun child calls the wind bustling through the tree boughs.
The wood speaks Stiles listens .
Leaves dance under foot the very earth celebrating his return.
Branches reach toward him thorns tugging at his clothes strings, flower petals murmur as he passes bursting into bloom.
Moonlight filters down in a halo like spiral dancing with shadows across the forest floor shifting towards his touch.
“Shit “ he curses breaking the ambiance as he spirals ass over teakettle thanks to and enthusiastic tree roots shuffling.
One van’s gone flying off his feet like a fish slipping from a hook.
It’s hit something with a thunk and he heaves himself up with a groan and shambles over to look.
Of course, it’s that moment when he bends down to pick the shoe up he see’s it.
The dead body.
There is nothing like walking into battle. Except maybe sex and that is a war unto itself.
The very night greets him and stars wink from their perches chattering excitedly. Gossips.
Stiles jittering more than his old jeep on gravel. Bouncing about like his suspension is all shot to hell.
Which matches the state of their current plan.
“Stiles it’s going to be fine” Scott heads for reassuring.
Wrongly ? Rightly? Assuming nerves are his problem.
Stiles is nervous. It counts! Even if those nerves are in the can we hurry up and kill it lemme at him variety? (As opposed to the more holy fuck this thing could eat me variety.)
“We’ll just follow the plan”. Oh sweet Scott should have learned by now everything always gets screwed six ways to Sunday when he’s around.
Lydia arches a fine eyebrow.
Isaac blinks lips curving into a smirk. He shakes his head with a sigh because teenagers right. Nothing you can do.
“What plan? “ Stiles finally dares to ask stomach twisting.
“The plan. You know form up and hit it till it dies that plan” Scott scratches his head looking at Stiles puzzled.
“The one you suggested man remember” He chokes on his own spit coughing a wheezing hack that sounds like a dying kazoo.
“You okay buddy?” Scott’s brows are furrowed and he moves to bang on Stiles back.
“ I was kidding when” He doesn’t have to see to feel Scott's belief and it’s staggering he takes a moment staying bent to center himself before straightening.
“ - you know what fine, this just might work” He’d kill himself before dashing their hopes.
The thing is if they don’t pull this off it might just turn out that way.
Flash forward five days later. Stiles is returning from walking the border of the preserve when everything falls silent.
Then sound explodes, suddenly his vision is filled with a wild cacophony of movement .
Roots tremble, tree bark shudders, wings beat frantically overhead a doe race by on light hooves a brown blur.
The ground pulses urgently underfoot a crow's cry out in alarm. Stiles is almost instantly racing towards his vehicle bat on one shoulder as he scrambles towards the Jeep.
He doesn’t make it.
On the plus side, Stiles might just be getting that creative essay done.
He imagines it would go something like this: Have you ever tried to kill a chimera? No? It’s a bit like trying to give a cat who doesn’t want one a bath.
Except this cat has fangs thicker than a stool leg and teeth sharper than serrated steel.
While it tries to eat you.
That is to say not like at all unless the cats a Siberian tiger.
Then yeah a bit lik e.
This chimera was of a particularly nasty subspecies that green lizard scales, a goat-like head, and horns.
Stiles just might be surrounded by a group of them.
No worries though he’s got this.
Riiip.
Currently, his second favorite shirt is covered in icky goo and he’s mourning the rather impressive tear in the side while he dodges nasty claws.
Liss had given him that shirt! A pair of gleaming fangs the size of his forearm attempt to take a bite out of his side but miss a hairs breath from skin.
Riiiiiip.
Dammit, the blood stains always washed out best from it and now it was burnt toast.
Stiles swung the baseball bat down in an arch the impact like that of a catapult to a castle wall sending gross blue blood flying everywhere.
A normal baseball bat might not do too much. A rune inscribed baseball bat, however?
Now that’s a different story entirely.
He’d long ago abandoned his jacket to the ground and he slowly reached to pick it up.
Only one beast left.
Thunder rumbled in displeasure clouds the very air became charged with lighting. Stiles grinned wide and catlike the chimera narrowed its beady eyes.
"Come on let's go, storm's coming."
The things head swung around watching the movement of his jacket.
“Torro, Torro”
Stiles moved the cloth widely about, the beasts muscles rippled beneath it's scaled body bag legs tensing it's small dark eyes tracking the fabric.
Attracted to motion, not very good eyesight otherwise.
He could work with this.
They danced around each other the Chimera snarling, now he just had to coax it away from his soft flesh and into the ill-devised net of the jacket.
Easy as Cake.
His last thought before getting down to business as a literal cutting block springs towards him?
It's a lie.
" My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard dam right it's better than yours ~"
Stiles wiped a hand dirty with icky chimera goo off to reach around his pocket for his phone.
The hell could he possibly want now?
"I could teach you but I'd~"
“Stiles “ he answered curtly if a bit touchy rubbing some more goo off onto the thigh of his jeans.
“Sorry, bad time?” A deep voice almost hesitantly asked.
Stiles observed the surrounding carnage with mild pride.
“No, not at all.” He was quick to re-assure taking in a particularly nasty blood stain on his jeans (not helped by his frantic grab for the phone) and the swiftly decomposing monster body.
“ Perfect timing actually” He grunts shaking some goo off of his oldest pair of vans.
Giving them a considering once over. The trend was getting worn down.
He takes a minute to swing the bat around and drag it in some grass getting rid of some brain matter.
Ewe.
“Someone giving you trouble Bert? “ Stiles asked changing his tone with a wince as his hip acts up on the way to the car.
No need to be terse with the messenger. It wasn't Bert's fault he always managed to be in a spot of trouble when the man called. It’s not like he could predict Stiles being covered in chimera goo at god knows what hour of the night for the second time in a day.
He could already feel the bruise he was going to have tomorrow and the overall effect was like being fucked by a sandpaper dildo.
Not fun.
“You could say that.” the big man on the other end of the line said with a sigh clearly deflating after Stiles light reassurance.
"Bert, explain..please". Stiles said waving his hands in a hurry up gesture eyes casing the area. The chimera could have buddies and he wasn’t inclined to stick around and chat.
"The wolf was apparently nice enough not to put the stupid dude through a wall according to the head bouncer. "
Bert's tone of voice clearly stated that this wolf who ever he is had the patience of a saint.
“ Guy, Deserves a fucking medal if you don't mind me saying so, the other man was a right prat." Stiles laughed quietly before sobering up
"Uhuhu. How does he feel about the club? The Wolf I mean. "
The gnarled oaks branches shook with a warning. Something was approaching and fast.
"He won't be suing us. Though, you can bet your fine ass he is pressing charges”.
Stiles could almost see the eye roll from over the phone.
Ten minutes in and the conversation was amounting to a whole bunch of nothing. He figures it’s mostly Carlson breathing down Bert's ass.
Someone up top trying to make sure all bases were covered and could Stiles just please please come over for old times sake shimmy over and run a check.
A bit of green moved swiftly on his right side.
He stood stalk still,but for subtly shifting the weight of his feet.
They tracked movement and the moment he put the phone down it would be game on.
Another flash of green caught the corner of his eye to the left.
“Of course man I’ll be there in a bit, just some things to tidy up first.”
fin.
~