Actions

Work Header

For the Youth

Summary:

Jeon Jungkook is entering the prime of his life. He's headed to college, moving out on his own... and his kidneys have failed. He has his mom, his friends, and his sanity for now. Is that enough?

aka the sick!Jeongguk, hospital volunteer!Taehyung AU that literally no one even thought to ask for.

**abandoned work — message as ch. 4**

Chapter 1: it all falls down

Summary:

things are happening

Notes:

okay so this was called cleanse me before and it was yoongi/yoonmin centric and was about kidney disease except, ive been in the hospital for over a week now and the longer i thought about it, the more i didnt like it. i want to tell my kidney story and vent some emotions a little through this fic so the changes will help me do that. im so sorry if you hate it and are like "why tf did i read this BOOOO" but i like this alot better and i can build a story alot better with this. i hope you dont hate it!

edit: a huge thanks to my beta V [bonafide trash on tumblr] as always.

(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)

Chapter Text

There are three hundred sixty-five (and a quarter) days in a year, and Jungkook just so happened to get sick on college entrance exam day. You know, the day that determines his future for the rest of his life . No biggie.

A pool of sweat drenched the sheets beneath Jungkook’s heavily overheated body as he woke from a dreamless slumber. His mouth felt sticky, much like the horrid cotton mouth he'd get after a smoke session with Yugyeom, his best friend of ten years and resident pain in his ass. A pungent sour smell emitted from his body. It was almost enough to make him puke, which was becoming a very likely outcome, given that his stomach was currently clenched in painful knots.

If his head wasn't pounding like Lucifer himself was fucking it, he might have cared about how gross he felt. Instead, he dragged himself from the disgusting sheets, crawled his way to his en-suite bathroom, and ran what felt like a hypothermia-inducing shower.

The spray of cold water numbed the burning sensation coursing throughout Jungkook’s body, bringing him down to a tolerable warmth. He noticed his vision blurring as he tried to focus on the water cascading down the drain. Something was wrong about today, but he had no time to dwell. Exams were today. The test that would decide his future was happening today.

Jungkook haphazardly went through the motions of his morning routine, simultaneously trying to push down the rising feeling of panic coursing through his veins. He had never been so thankful for his mother’s erratic work schedule, because she surely wouldn't have allowed him to go to school had she been home to see him that morning.

Is it finally happening? It can't be happening, Jungkook thought as he brushed his teeth, trying not to vomit as he scraped the toothbrush across his tongue. His heart beat frantically in his chest, just as his hands began to shake. Today wasn't the day for this. Tomorrow wasn't the day for this either. In fact, absolutely no day ever would be the right time for this

No time to dwell, the bus would be coming round in ten minutes. Jungkook had ten minutes to pull himself together.

Breakfast: an egg and toast. Bad idea. The smell of the egg caused an uncontrollable wave of nausea to hit Jungkook, almost knocking him down to his knees. Of course, a migraine had to follow. So, no breakfast.

Clothing choice: sweatpants and a white tee, timberlands because... why not? Who was he honestly trying to impress?

Mental state: questionable, but no time to fret over it. The horn of the bus blowing broke Jungkook out of his zombie-like reverie, indicating that it was time. He had an exam to take.

As he stumbled his way out of his home, staggering dangerously towards the bus, Jungkook began to regret all of his life choices. Was getting his higher education really that important?

Ugh, of course it was. Jungkook had worked so hard despite all of the difficulties he’d experienced over the last few years to get to where he was. He'd be damned if he let this ruin it for him now. He was so close, too close to give up.

“Morning Jungkook… are you okay? You don’t look so hot today,”  the bus driver asked as he got on board.

Jungkook mustered up a jerky head nod, shuffling his feet awkwardly towards his seat at the back of the bus. He decided that maybe if he put in his headphones and slept he would feel better. He just really wanted to feel better.

Yugyeom joined Jungkook in his seat after he was picked up at his stop, eyeing his friend up and down carefully. He noticed the sweaty brow, and the tremors wracking his friend’s body, but knew that nagging him would do no good. It was an important day and Jungkook was too stubborn for his own good sometimes. He offered his dozing friend sips of water as they made the seemingly endless trek to school, hoping to the heavens that he had merely caught a cold. He wouldn't know what to do if it was finally that time.

Jungkook silently implored whatever it was higher than him to get him through his exam. He had come too far to let his body ruin him now. It’d been six years with no major issues, why now? God damn it, why now? He’d done everything right. He took his medicines on time, everyday. He rarely drank and never smoked anything other than weed. His levels were beautiful every time he visited the hospital, and was easily his doctor’s favorite patient because of how good a patient he was. He was as healthy as a sick person could be.

//

In his haze of thought, Jungkook didn’t realize that Yugyeom had basically carried him all the way to homeroom. His test was currently face down in front of him on his desk. It was go time.

Jungkook took a deep breath, steeling himself a little before beginning his exam.

“You good bro? I can tell the teacher you don't feel good, the school will understand. You know that,” Yugyeom whispered as the teacher handed out the remaining scantrons.

Jungkook shook his head softly, forcefully willing his body to calm the hell down for the first time all day. He was going to get through this test, even if it killed him.

“I'm fine Yugyeom. I'll leave as soon as I'm done, deal?” Jungkook whispered back.

Yugyeom nodded in acknowledgment, understanding how much taking his exam one time with the rest of their class meant to Jungkook. He would be so disappointed if he couldn't do it.

“Fine. I mean, at least if you pass out or something our whole class passes the exam. Win-win!”

Jungkook winked at his friend. He could feel some weight lift from his shoulders. The sweating and stomach aches had managed to cease, but the shaking and pain in his back persisted. If there was an elephant in the testing room, it had planted it’s fat ass firmly on his spine.

“Okay class, you may begin. Good luck to you all,” Professor Lee announced, rounding his desk to sit as the students flipped over their tests.

You can do this .

Holy shit… it was so easy. Jungkook breathed a shaky breath of relief when he realized how deplorably simple the exam was. He was speeding through questions so fast he was beginning to fear that he'd gotten the wrong test version or something.

Just five more questions, then you can go to the nurse, Jungkook thought to himself, quickly skimming the questions lining the last page of his exam.

A, C, True, B… done . The last test between him and college was now complete. He was done. No more tests, no more finals, no more SATs or ACTs. No more college entrance anything. He was finally done. All of the hardships and tears had been worth it, because he was finished. Sadly, as fast as the relief had come, pain settled in.

Jungkook found it increasingly painful to breathe. Every pull of oxygen into his lungs took as much effort as running his miles in track practice or finishing a dance routine did. Something was very off.

Jungkook raised his hand, signaling for his teacher’s aid to come collect his test materials. The handsome college student bound over to Jungkook in firm calculated steps. Everything about the older man was so graceful, and Jungkook was envious. He could never be as beautiful or as poise as the man who stood before him.

“Finished Jungkook?” the TA asked, pausing when he noticed how pained Jungkook looked.

“Do you need the nurse? You don't look okay,” he asked, slowly beginning to panic. He was aware of Jungkook’s condition, much like everyone else in their class. He didn't wait for a reply, not wanting to risk Jungkook saying no and refusing to go.

Slowly Jungkook rose from his seat, holding tightly onto the man’s outstretched arm. He felt like the weight of the world was crashing down on him all at once, pulling him under slowly.

“Thanks Seokjin. You don’t have to…”

He didn't know how fast it really happened, but everything was suddenly very dark. There was no light in the place that his conscience currently resided, and he was almost grateful. There was no pain in this plane of existence, no expectations, and no fears. He was merely floating in the welcomed darkness, enjoying the pleasant nothingness that surrounded him.

If this is how death feels, who would want to be alive?

//

Jungkook languidly blinked away the sleep from his eyes, overwhelmed as an immense amount of light attacked his vision. It felt like the sky had personally come down to flaunt it’s beaming rays. His head was killing him, so he quickly shut his aching eyes again. He didn't even get to take in his environment yet.

“...yes, blood pressure is looking good. 115/72. We gave him some oxygen just to get his breathing stable, and the nephrologist will be in soon to speak with you about what's going on with his kidneys ma’am,” a man, presumably his nurse, said.

He heard sniffling, followed by the wet blowing of a  nose.

“Did his kidneys fail Namjoon? He's been sick for years now and we weren't expecting that they would for another few years, at least. My baby… he's not supposed to be going through this,” a woman, easily identifiable to Jungkook as his mother, said as she wept.

He heard nothing but her cries for a long while after that, the soothing shushes of the male nurse accompanying his mom’s louder noises. He hadn't heard her in that much pain since the day he was diagnosed with kidney disease six years prior, when he was twelve years old.

“I'm only his nurse so I can't go into a lot of details for you, but yes. His kidneys have been steadily declining for a while, it was only a matter of time. I'm so sorry,” Namjoon, his nurse, explained.

Jungkook cracked open his eyes, and was taken aback as he looked at his caretaker. Something about the man was strangely familiar to him, but he couldn't figure out why. He didn't have long to think about it though, as his mother’s sobs gradually regulated themselves. They turned into nothing but the occasional hiccup or sniffle every now and again. However, an occasional sob would still catch in her throat.

“I can't say I'm surprised honestly. He's been getting worse lately, I noticed that. I just feel so helpless. I’ve had to watch him get worse, and there's nothing I can do. Damn it, why isn't there a cure for this? Why wasn't it me instead? I would take this all in his place if I could. God knows I would,” his mother cursed.

His mother sat adjacent to him in a chair, clad in her work scrubs, her hair hanging professionally in a ponytail atop her head, and her small featured face was blotchy all over from her violent sobs and nose blowing.

His nurse, Namjoon, looked sympathetic as he finished typing away on his computer, closing Jungkook's medical chart. Jungkook always found it strange that his picture in the hospital system was still of him as a twelve year old, from the day that he was first admitted to the hospital.

“Ma-Mom, what's going on?” Jungkook croaked, his throat sore from hours of not being used.

Jungkook’s mother snapped her attention to her son, leaping from her seat to engulf him in a hug. He missed his mom's hugs.

“Kookie,” she gasped, kissing his forehead, “how are you feeling honey? Do you know where you are?”

Jungkook looked around, observing his surroundings. The pale beige walls and room decorum were covered in health related posters and little animal stickers, each one with an information sheet accompanying it. The room was too bright and everything looked too clean, sterilized for his safety.

“Children’s,” Jungkook said, instantly recognizing the room of the hospital he’d been a patient in since his diagnosis six years prior.

“Yes, that's right,” Namjoon said, “You got really sick at school today and passed out. How long have you been feeling bad?”

Jungkook thought it over. He desperately wanted to say that he only felt bad that morning, but that'd be a lie. He’d felt a change in his body beginning weeks prior, back when his school had taken their senior trip. He’d felt this time impending.

Thinking back, it was a great way to close out the “sick but not at all close to death” era of his life. The sights of Chicago were breathtaking; the museums, the cathedrals, the music halls, etc. The bustling city injected a shot of energy into his life that he didn’t know that he needed. Jungkook remembered their last night on the trip; the exploring, all of his friends he'd known since elementary school dancing, hooking up, just truly enjoying each other for (what most of them knew) would be the last time.

It was the best trip of Jungkook’s young life. The memories alone made Jungkook feel nostalgic, thirsting for a small taste of that contentment back.

He remembered sitting the balcony of his hotel, his dance friends all hanging around, when the feeling of wrong settled in. Something, everything, felt off. He was content with it, he thought he was ready for this, but maybe he was wrong. No one’s ever really ready for one of their major organs to fail.

“...so it’s been about two weeks, Mrs. Jeon?” Namjoon asked his mother, jotting her words down on his notepad.

“Yes, after he came back from a school trip. He seemed so off. He's been much more lethargic than normal and his eyes have looked so dark. It's the end of the year so I know he's not swamped with homework or anything, and he doesn't go out much during the week. I didn’t realize it was this bad though,” Jungkook’s mother said, looking over at her son, observing all of his facial features. The dull sunken in bloodshot eyes and the gray undertone to his skin all alluded to the truth.

“Jungkook, do you understand what's happened? I'm sorry, we’re leaving you out here.”

Jungkook looked up at his nurse, then his mom, noticing how worried all the eyes in the room looked, and that they were all focused on him. He was fine, he supposed. He's always been fine.

“Yes, my kidneys don't work anymore. I kind of figured that already,” Jungkook said, voice low, “What now?”

“Well, yes. You’re right to an extent. They’re pretty weak right now and can’t get better on their own. Your doctor will be in soon to explain the next steps but yes, things are going to be changing.”

Jungkook shook his head solemnly. He knew this day would come… he knew it, he had expected it, but that didn't make it any easier now that it was here.

“Okay. When can I go home? Graduation is next Friday, that's kind of a thing I don't want to miss,” Jungkook asked, eyebrow cocked.

Namjoon furrowed his brow in discomfort. Jungkook could tell that the (barely) older man didn't know how to answer him. Even though he saved it by smiling, Jungkook knew already. You never trust it when a nurse smiles at you in the hospital.

“Well, now that you're in complete renal failure… you'll have to have a surgery while you're here. You'll also be put on new medications, along with receiving education and training. It's not exactly a two day, in and out, kind of thing Jungkook.”

The younger man couldn't help but roll his eyes at his nurse. He just didn't want to be here longer than he needed to, and he told him so.

“Trust me, I understand that. But, surgeries are a big deal, especially catheter placements. You'll need to heal for a few days, and do dialysis treatments and you immediately start them weekly after you're discharged. A lot is going to be changing, but we're all here for you.”

“Kookie, they're here to help. Your health is what's most important, okay sweetie? We'll figure everything else out later. You just focus on resting and getting better, okay?” Jungkook’s mother said, sensing her son growing agitated.

Jungkook merely grunted in understanding, opting to pull out his phone instead of paying the nurse any further attention.

Group: ☽  fawk ya chicken strips ☼

Jungkookie : fml

Jiminie (◕ᴗ◕✿): OMG YUGYEOM TOLD US THAT UOU PASSED OUT AT SCGOOL RU OKAY?????

Jungkookie : I'm in the hospital rn, my kidneys failed, i might miss graduation and everyone's up my ass. but otherwise everything's great

Jiminie   (◕ᴗ◕✿): ah damn :c that sucks!!! do you want us to come see you? i'll bring your favorite pocky ;)

Jungkookie : i'm on a diet restriction , no decent food until i get out of this hellhole

Hoseokie ᶘ ᵒᴥᵒᶅ: fuuuuck well we’ll both still come! just tell us when since i kno they make you do a lot of stuff the first day or two

Jungkookie : yup they do. i'm just waiting on the doctor rn now basically anyway

Jungkookie : speak of the devil he's here

Jungkookie : I'll keep you two updated

Jiminie   (◕ᴗ◕✿): you better!! we get worried!

Jungkook sighed as he put his phone away, doing a once over on his doctor as his entered. He missed talking to his friends everyday, as they had both graduated over the past two years. It always brightened Jungkook’s mood when Jimin and Hoseok offered to come down from college to visit him. Even if it was under the current circumstances.

“Jungkook, how are you feeling today?” his doctor, Dr. Simons, asked. That was the dumbest question that Jungkook knew would be repeatedly asked over his stay in the hospital.

“Obviously not so hot or we wouldn't all be here,” Jungkook spat, not flinching as his mother smacked his thigh and told him to be polite.

“It's okay Mrs. Jeon, we get grumpy patients all the time,” the doctor snickered, “It's completely understandable. A lot of things, virtually your entire everyday life is about to change. It's fine. There's a lot of other people in here who are going through the exact same thing, you aren't alone.”

Jungkook nodded, feeling a little of his attitude slip from his face. It was so exhausting being upset. He couldn't keep this up for the rest of his life.

“I'm sorry… it's just not something I expected to deal with right now,” Jungkook said, his eyes downcast.

“That's fine Jungkook, you don't have to apologize to us. We're just here to make this process a little easier, and make sure you're well taken care of,” the doctor said, offering him a small smile.

“Thank you Dr. Simons. So, what exactly does he have to have done? What's the next step?” Mrs. Jeon asked, her eyes glassy.

Jungkook’s doctor, along with the occasional remark about his levels and such from his nurse, explained that he would be having surgery that night to put in a dialysis catheter. Over the course of his disease, dialysis had always been the epitome of fear for Jungkook. Everything he was afraid of was wrapped up in that machine.

He remembered the endless nights he would spend researching it. The dialysis machines were made to clean out all the crap in his blood that his kidneys couldn't clean for themselves, and they did a pretty great job. However, the treatments were hours long, multiple days a week if he chose hemodialysis, (which is done in the hospital) or every night if he chose peritoneal dialysis (which is done with a machine at home) and very exhausting. You can also only survive on dialysis for so long.

Jungkook wasn't ready for this big of a change in his life, but honestly, what choice did he have? It was literally do or die, so he did.

“I want to do hemo mom. I can't live in the college dorms next year if i have to do treatments at home. There's no space for it.”

His doctor affirmed that hemo would be fine, and that most patients normally start on hemodialysis anyway.

“Your social worker will be coming in tomorrow or the day after to explain a few other things but the main ones were the catheter, and that you're now officially a candidate for being put on the transplant list. But, Jungkook, we can worry about all of the semantics later, get some rest. You have surgery later,” his doctor said, turning on his heels before exiting the room.

“Is there anything you need more explanation on in regards to his surgery?” Namjoon asked.

“No, I think we're okay. Jungkook?” his mother said.

“Um, when can I eat? I’m like, starving,” Jungkook said, his stomach growling to accentuate his complaints.

Namjoon took a weary breath before he cleared his throat.

“Oh, well… um, before surgery you aren't allowed to eat or drink for six hours prior to, so you have about… five minutes to drink some water and find a quick snack.”

Jungkook's eyes grew at least two times in size.

“Are you kidding me?” Jungkook asked, staring daggers at the man before him.

Namjoon nodded sheepishly, urging his mother to quickly go buy him something so that he wouldn't compromise his surgery.

“We’re sorry Jungkook, but it's all for a good reason. You’ll feel so much better after you start treatments,” Namjoon said.

He left shortly after his mother returned with a banana and apple from the fruit vending machine down the hall, a water put safely in her purse.

“It's all going to be okay my love. This is all just a step in the process you know?” his mother said, rubbing her fingertips across her son’s warm skin.

Jungkook nodded his head, having heard the “everything happens for a reason” speech enough times in his last six years as the “sick kid.” He knew it held truth, but it got very annoying hearing other people say it to him.

“Why don't you go to sleep? Rest up so you'll be nice and strong for your surgery,” his mother offered, moving to fluff his pillows for him before laying down on the pull out bed herself. Being a nurse, she worked long shifts for days on end. Jungkook pretended to sleep until she finally dozed off, wanting her to worry just a little less. She was always worrying.

Instead, Jungkook talked more with Jimin and Hoseok, filling them in on the random little things they'd missed out on since leaving him back in high school. The occasional pregnancy, breakups and makeups, scandals with the teachers, and the downward spiral of his health. You know, nothing special.

Before Jungkook knew it, the hours had passed by and it was time for his surgery. The nurses made him take a special bath before giving him a gown and wheeling him down to the OR surgery prep room. Jungkook was surprisingly calm, even before his anxiety meds were fed through his IV.

“Jungkook, are you doing okay? The anesthesiologist is about to put you to sleep okay? You just need to breathe some of this oxygen first,” Namjoon said, appearing from the crowd of nurses swarming around Jungkook’s room.

Jungkook nodded his head, no longer able to speak with the oxygen mask on his face and the anti-anxiety medications kicking in. It was his first surgery ever and everyone had been impressed with how well he was going. That was Jungkook, always excelling at everything.

“Okay, the medicine is going in now. It's going to make your arm feel really warm and tingly for a minute, alright? Then you're going to take a nice long nap. You're doing so well, everything's going very well,” Namjoon cooed, rubbing the strands of Jungkook’s hair soothingly as he fell asleep slowly.

The last thing Jungkook remembered before forcefully falling asleep was the chaste smile on Namjoon’s face, and the ping of recognition as Jungkook realized where he'd met Namjoon before.

//

Kim Namjoon was their school’s resident genius. He was top of his class in every subject except athletics, but is that really shocking to anyone? He was the same age as Hoseok, and was once in the same class. Around Jungkook’s sophomore year, he tested out of school and went to college early. He'd been in all advanced classes in high school anyway, no wonder he had already finished enough to take up nursing. He remembered offhandedly that there'd been rumors of him sleeping with a teacher or a college professor or something, but mostly everyone remembered him as the kid from their school who would cure cancer or something. Jungkook wished he was that smart. Maybe he could cure his kidney disease if he was smart like that one day.

//

After three days in the hospital, Jungkook had finally begun to feel a little better. After his surgery, he was visited by a social worker who explained how his transplant listing would go, and that he still qualified for a wish by the Make-a-Wish foundation.

A dietitian came and ruined all of his joy as a growing eighteen year old, soon to be college bound boy. No more salt, no more potatoes (potassium), or cheese (phosphorus), bananas, or anything else inside the book he'd received. Along with the news that he had to watch how much fluid (which is liquids and sodium) he was consuming everyday.

Lastly, his doctor and social worker went over his dialysis schedule, which would be Tuesday's, Thursday's, and Saturday's from 11:30 to 3:30 every single week, even in the summer, until he received a new kidney. Since he was still in the hospital, they'd just have his nurse administrator his treatments when they could, starting the next day.

To say that Jungkook was overwhelmed would be an understatement. He was blown completely over the moon. The information sunk in slowly for him, but at least it wasn't making him hysterically upset like it was for his mother. His poor mother, she went through so much. She deserved so much better, and one day Jungkook would give it to her. He just had to get well first.

“So, treatments tomorrow?” Jungkook asked as he held his mother in a reassuring hug.

“Yes, we’ll start tomorrow morning,” Namjoon said, giving Jungkook his same chaste smile, “I'll be doing your treatment. I think it'll go well.”

Jungkook chuckled softly to himself. He always thought that everything would go well.

“Okay, well I'll be back in the morning. Your nurse for tonight will be HyeJin. She'll be coming by to do your vitals soon,” Namjoon said before he ducked out of the room.

Even though things were changing, Jungkook was okay. Things would all be okay.

//

Dialysis is not okay.

After the shrill beeps of the machine indicated that the treatment was over, Jungkook had never felt more exhausted in his entire life. The new protruding piece of plastic bursting from his chest had withheld the treatment perfectly, and caused Jungkook no further pain (other than the heavy feeling in his chest from the foreign object, of course). However, the machine had taken all of his blood, quart by quart, and removed water while cleaning his blood. He was so drained it was unfathomable. Was it healthy for someone to be this tired? Well, seeing as how he wasn't healthy, probably not.

Thankfully, the first few treatments were done in his room while he was still admitted in the hospital. He wouldn't start treatments with the other kids until the following week, after he was discharged and adjusted to the treatments a little.

He was expected to go home within a few more days, hopefully two if all of his levels turned out how his doctor wanted. Then, his life was permanently changed. At least he would make his graduation, with only one day to spare.

His mother seemed more exhausted than he, as she had fallen asleep almost as fast as he had following the ordeal. Jungkook would never tell her, but it was the most unpleasant sleep he'd ever gotten. It was the kind of sleep that was essentially your body forcing you to sleep because it needed to recharge after having its energy stolen, not sleep to just because.

Jungkook hadn't realized how long he’d been out until he opened his eyes and his room was dark, aside from the light the television was emitting and from the cracked door that led to the hallway.

Outside, he could hear the murmurs of his mother's voice, along with those of his nurse. The clock on the wall read 10:47 at night, and the news played softly on the tv above him.

“Namjoon, how have you been? Your mom talks about you all the time at the hospital. She's so proud of you, you know,” Jungkook heard his mother say, listening intently to her words.

“Does she? That’s nice to hear. It'd be even better if she ever said it to me, you know? We haven't talked since…” Namjoon said, his voice fading to a whisper that Jungkook couldn't hear at the end.

“I'm sure she loves you dearly Namjoon, just… not everyone is okay with these kinds of things. If it were Jungkook who'd come out to me, I would be overjoyed regardless, as long as he was happy. But, she may just take some time.”

Jungkook couldn't believe his ears. Namjoon was gay? His mom was okay with Namjoon being gay? He’d never put much thought towards coming out to his mom, since he'd never had anything serious with another man and she had always been more towards the conservative side, but it warmed his heart that she would be okay with it for his happiness. She knew that he deserved to be happy, no matter what.

Through the crack of the door, Jungkook could make out Namjoon’s face, the glassy look to his eyes and the stiff stature of his back made Jungkook sad for the man. He obviously had some issues to work out on his own as well.

“It's just… Seokjin and I are getting really serious, and she won't come around to seeing me, let alone meeting him. I don't want to push her but I also don't want to make any big steps with Jin without her being a part of our lives. It would kill me,” Namjoon said, unable to hold back the disappointment showing on his face.

“It’ll all be okay, in due time,” Jungkook's mother said, rubbing her hand soothingly down Namjoon’s arm, “You're still her same brilliant boy, and no parent could go forever without talking to their child. Not the way she talks about you.”

Jungkook looked away from the exchange after that, choosing to put in his headphones to make it look like he'd heard nothing, for Namjoon’s privacy. Halfway through his first distraction song Jungkook realized.

Holy shit. The teacher and/or possible college professor rumor was bullshit but now he understood where it came from. Namjoon was dating his teaching assistant Seokjin, who happened to be a student at the college that a lot of their alumni attended.

Wow. Jungkook tried to imagine the two together, two men in his life who acted as helping hands. No images he could conjure were things that he wished his brain could make. Avoiding that train of thought forever, burning it with fire, and never looking back, Jungkook smiled softly to himself. It was nice that his seniors had both found comfort in each other.

“Jungkookie, are you awake?” his mother said, nudging him a little in his non-cut open side.

Jungkook took out a headphone and nodded his head softly, asking if it was time for more vitals.

“No sweetie, not yet. I just wanted to tell you something.”

“What is it, Mom?”

“I just want you to know that, no matter what, I will always, always love you. There's nothing you could ever do, or turn out to be that could ever make me stop loving you, my precious boy,” Jungkook's mother said, fighting the tears that he saw threatening to leave her eyes, “You're my whole life Jeon Jungkook. We’re going to fight this and you're going to have a great life, and do some amazing things, okay? I just know it.”

Jungkook couldn't help the tears that welled up in his eyes as well. His mother always had a way of making him appreciate his life so far. It could always be worse, right? He had to get better. He had the ability to maintain his health where it was and make sure he had a good life, a fruitful future.

Tomorrow would bring new challenges, but it would also bring forth new memories, and new  opportunities for good things. He had learned over the years to always appreciate the little good things. Jungkook had begun to look forward to every new day, as each new day brought the chance for something magical. Jungkook could use something magical.

Notes:

let me know below your thoughts (": I love you guys who supported me changing it when i was high af on morphine and doubting myself! im sorry if me deleting the old chapters and reposting them in here was confusing. i can explain why in the comments if anyone needs me to.

tae and yoongi come in later, you'll see how. the story is more about Jeongguk than the pairings necessarily.

edit [10/15/16]: hey y'all. so sorry if these first few chapters take a little bit. i'm currently working on this fic but i want to make sure that the "foundation" of the story is how i want it and that it makes sense. also, i'm still in college and i just missed two weeks of school so i have a lot going on. i'll update whenever i can! thanks for reading ~