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It was the first week home after The Crash, Shauna still felt as if she was surrounded by the trees and forestry.
Her whole world had turned upside down and yet it was like she never left.
Her mother had barely touched her room, only to dust it; preserve it. Walking into a time capsule of a different universe all together, sometimes she wonders when she looks in the mirror, the person she was before all of this would look back.
All of her clothing was even baggier than before. It all sat wrong on her body. She was in a new kind of cell, not the vast Canadian wilderness but the kind that forces her to come back once more into the reckless teenage dreams and secrets Shauna thought would be the end of the world if Jac–
If She found out.
She's just been trying to sleep away the memories, although her dreams contain nothing but the memories.
Jeff has called a few times since she got back. She wonders if it was worth it. What she did. What they made. Shauna does nothing but think about it. About him, not Jeff but… him. The baby buried out there, he left a hole in her heart but he wasn't the first to hollow it out and still keep it beating.
She's everywhere, you know. There's a picture of them next to her bed that Shauna tucked away in fear of being haunted by those beautiful hazel doe eyes once again, the “boob dress” lingers in her peripheral vision. Her clothes from previous sleepovers are under her bed.
Everyday she has to stop herself from picking up the phone to the imaginary ringing Shauna was so accompanied by back then.
Every night, she hears Her voice before her slumber like She's just right next to her. Almost like she could reach her hand out and cradle her.
Speaking of night, it's time for her to go to bed so that her mother doesn't get more worried than she is.
The silence is chilling. So cold.
But Shauna feels her eyes heavy.
And curls into herself.
“Shipman.”