Chapter Text
The subway is overfull.
A woman’s elbow digs into Wanda’s side, a man’s shoulder is pressed against her own, and despite having boarded at the last stop - leaving her closer to the exit than she might have been if she’d boarded at an earlier stop - there isn’t enough space between her and the doors to give her room to breathe. The train seems to pulse, the people flickering at the corners of her vision, and Wanda breathes stale subway air through her nose to try and steady herself.
It doesn’t help.
When the train stops at the next station, doors opening to the sea of dull-eyed pedestrians lingering on the platform. Wanda shoulders her way through the mass. Desperate to get out of the subway and the crowd, power sparking like static at the tips of her fingers. Sam had said getting out would be a good idea, that with her assessments done with the therapist hired by S.H.I.E.L.D and her not being deemed a threat to herself or the general public it would be a good idea for her to get out. Make friends that don’t have any real association with Stark, the Avengers, or the government agency she’s found herself working for.
But how is she supposed to do that?
Pietro had been her friend.
Her had been her friend, her rock, the only support she’d had when their parents had died, when they’d bounced between new homes, when they joined Hyrdra. Pietro had been there and now Pietro is gone and Wanda doesn’t know how she’s supposed to make new friends when her brother’s ghost lingers at her side.
Pushing out into the sunlight, Wanda takes a moment to get her bearings. There are still too many people crowding around the 34 St Penn Station entrance so Wanda pivots on her heel and begins walking down the streets of Midtown Manhattan. She shoves her hands deep into the pockets of the hoodie Natasha had bought for her in an attempt to hide the red hazing out around her fingers.
People are watching her.
Staring at her.
They peer at her with narrowed eyes and distrusting faces, twisting to follow her as they pass by. It’s like they know she’s a murderer. It’s like they know Wanda kills the people closest to her. Panic begins to crawl up her throat. It makes her chest tight and her stomach churn. Static cackles up her arm and makes the hairs on the back of her neck stand on end.
Wanda needs to get off the street.
She needs to get out of the crowd.
A sharp left puts her in front of a glass door with an ‘Open’ sign hanging in the center. Wanda doesn’t know what she’s walking into, doesn’t particularly care, all she knows is it’s off the street. So, Wanda shoulders the door open, eyes stinging, and finds herself immediately greeted with green.
Plants line the walls. Big leafy things standing tall and proud in little clear pots and bathed in the golden haze of smaller lamps. There’s a counter in the back with a register placed on the top, behind is a shelving unit with pots and an assortment of bagged potting soil. Wanda uses her thumb to spin the ring on her index finger as she steps deeper into the shop.
“Hi, welcome in!” A soft voice calls.
Wanda looks up from a pretty vining plant with leaves in different shades of green to find a pretty blonde shuffling into the room. She’s got her hair scraped into a ponytail, a bright pink sweater with the sleeves rolled to her elbows, and a pair of cute jeans that are darkening beneath the water dripping from the plants in her arms. Wanda swallows.
“Hi.” She mutters softly, spinning the ring faster.
The woman makes her way to one of the tables lined with plants and adds the ones in her arms to the mess.
“Can I help you find anything?” The stranger asks, still smiling brightly at Wanda.
Something eases a bit in Wanda's chest.
Everyone watches her warily these days. The Avengers may have claimed her as one of them but it doesn’t erase the fact that Wanda was Hydra before the incident with Ultron. It doesn’t change the fact that Wanda had crawled inside the heads of the World’s Mightiest Heroes and scrambled their memories into something violent. They treat her well, all things considered, but Wanda hasn’t seen this sort of unbridled kindness since before Hydra.
“Oh, no,” Wanda swallows the lump in her throat, “I was just…”
She motions balefully around.
Telling the woman she’s just looking would be a lie.
Wanda didn’t come here to look at pretty things. Didn’t even know this place existed. She’d only come through this woman’s door to avoid the crowds in the streets, and it feels wrong to meet this woman’s pleasantness with whatever is going on in Wanda’s head.
“I’ve never had a houseplant before.” She offers instead.
It seems safest.
And it earns her another bright smile.
The blonde woman wipes her hands on her thighs. Soil staining the pale denim. Then she’s walking across the store to stand closer to Wanda.
“I have some succulents if you want to dip your toe in. They’re generally pretty easy to keep alive.” The woman says, green eyes bright.
Wanda doesn’t even know what a succulent is and that must show on her face because the other woman motions for Wanda to follow her. Hesitant feet carry Wanda through the store behind the blonde, far enough away that when she stops beside the woman at a long table pressed beneath a window Wanda doesn't has plenty of time to shuffle closer. It’s not a big window, the light filtering in is supplemented with another lamp, but it casts little golden ribbons across the table and makes the painted pots on the wall gleam. Wanda keeps her hands in her pockets as the woman turns to her.
"If you have any questions just let me know!" The woman gestures to the counter where her plants wait, "I'll be right over there."
Nodding, Wanda keeps an eye on the woman as she makes her way back to the counter before turning her attention back to the plants laid out before her.
Most of them are decent sized. It would be easy to carry them onto the subway without having to worry about the weight of them, but they're also big enough to garner some attention. She recognizes several Cacti. Well, she recognizes the spiked plants... she wouldn't be able to tell anyone the name of them though. Wanda also recognizes an Aloe plant because Bruce has one in his lab. Wanda chews at the dead skin on her lip as she stares at the array of plants. The apartment she’s been assigned at Stark Tower is pretty bare. Tony had someone decorate it so that it didn't look like a prison cell and Wanda thinks it must be considered very tasteful, but she didn’t decorate it. That apartment isn’t her home. Wanda doesn’t think a plant will make the space feel any homier, but Dr. Walker - the therapist she’s been seeing for months now because Sam is, apparently, too close to offer unbiased opinion according to S.H.I.E.L.D - had said that personalizing her spaces at the Tower might make her feel more secure.
Maybe there's some truth in it.
Wanda knows she isn't making the progress Dr. Walker wants her too.
Almost a year after Pietro's death and Wanda isn't making progress. Not that she wants to. It feels like a betrayal. Her moving on while he's dead. Dr. Walker hasn't said as much, as a matter of fact she's been relatively kind, telling Wanda that grief and healing isn't linear and that it's ok for it to take time. She's never once said anything to Wanda that implied disappointment or anger... but Wanda sees the way the team looks at her. Sideways glances and offers to talk, impromptu invitations to the rec rooms in the Tower or to entertainment nights with the team. Wands goes to some of them because it's easier to go than to not, but it doesn't help. Everyone walks on eggshells around her though. Wanda thinks that they're afraid to push too hard. Well, mostly everyone. Clint and Sam are quick to approach and quicker to talk and sometimes Wanda wishes they would leave her be.
Picking up a plant that looks a bit like a tree with its longer brown stem and rounded bulging leaves. It isn’t a huge plant, but Wanda thinks it’s pretty, and now that she’s been pulled into looking at them she doesn't see the harm in picking it up.
Jade Plant! The white tag stuck to the outside of the plastic container reads: Bright light. Well-draining soil. Toxic to dogs. $14.50
Wanda doesn’t have any animals. Likely never will. She’d had a cat when she was younger, it had technically been her mother’s cat, but Wanda remembers how it would curl up around her feet at night and purr on her lap when she would sit on the couch. Stark doesn’t like animals though. It had been one of his rules. No animals in the tower. Wanda hadn’t cared enough at the time to fight him on it. Not that Wanda wants to fight him on it anyway. Still, she puts the plant down and moves on to the next. Picking up various plants and reading the tags until she comes across a ball-like cactus with yellow spines. It's cute. Wanda plucks up the container and reads the label. Golden Barrel Cactus. Not poisonous, likes bright indirect light, Wanda looks up to find the stranger at the counter typing away at a laptop covered in stickers.
Swallowing, Wanda carries her find to the counter.
"Did you find anything that struck your fancy?" The woman asks as she looks away from her computer.
There are plants on the counter sorted into groups, paper bags ready to be filled with order slips stapled to the front, and despite the mess of soil bags and pots that have made their way across the laminated wood it doesn't feel cluttered. Wanda offers her own uncertain smile and places the cactus down on the counter for the woman to take.
"Ever owned a house plant before?" The woman asks.
"No."
"Ok, super easy. I promise. Put it in a window with a lot of light, south-facing is usually best, but it won't die if you don't put it there. Water when the soil is dry. You won't hurt if you forget to water it for a couple weeks. If it starts to outgrow the pot, you can bring it in and I'll repot it for you. And if you have any questions at all I'm here and I have a card with website and shop information on it, one sec..." The woman glances around the counter and reaches for something on the other side of a display of pins and stickers. She comes back brandishing a card that she offers to Wanda, who shoves it into her wallet once she's got it opened.
"Uh, thank you." Wanda says to the woman, who nods and rings her up.
Wanda is quick to pass over a handful of crumpled bills. Static races up her arm from her fingertips. Her phone goes off in her pocket and Wanda doesn’t need to look to know who it is. The stranger across from her turns her attention away to give Wanda privacy to fish the device out of her pocket to check the preview of Clint’s message, which tells Wanda that he isn’t reaching out to hound her about leaving the tower. But it’s obvious he’s getting worried. Ansty. Wanda thinks its misplaced guilt driving him to continuously check in on her. That or one of the Avengers had threatened to go track her down when they couldn't find her. Sighing, she shoves the phone back into her pocket.
"Here you go! Enjoy your new plant! I hope to see you again!" The woman says to Wanda.
"Yes. Again, thank you." Wanda takes the little paper bag where her new buy has been tucked away and then offers the woman a soft, "Have a nice day." before pivoting on her heel and making her way to the front door. On her way out Wanda makes note of the street she comes out on before making her way back toward the overcrowded subway station.