Archive of Our Own ^beta

You stretch upwards, shaking your hands out and tugging the front of your shirt out so that it doesn't cling to your chest. Looking around your room, you bite at your bottom lip, scanning for anything you forgot. You can’t find anything, so you just spritz a little more of your favorite body spray, one that smelt good, but wasn’t strong enough to give you a migraine, before looking in the mirror. You give your reflection a scrutinizing look, poking at your cheeks and jaw before sighing, fixing your hair again, and electing to wait outside. 

Okay.

Keys, wallet, phone, ID. All fit into your pockets, so your hands are free-

Hands are free?

FOOD! 

You whip to the kitchen and grab the lunch you’d prepared the previous night. The man you were seeing mentioned liking tacos offhandedly, and while it wasn’t something you necessarily made often, you wanted brownie points. If he liked tacos, you were making tacos!

You carefully pack it into a tupperware container, digging deeper in your fridge to grab the brownies you’d made as well. Placing both containers into a bag, you take a deep breath. You check again that the supplies you used were entirely vegan, knowing that monster kind didn’t eat meat at all, and that only monster products were used, you walk out the door. 

Haha. That kind of reminds you how you'd met Sans.

You met his brother first. Papyrus was a regular at muffets and you've grown quite fond of him and his pranks around the bar even to the dismay of your boss herself. The two of you just clicked, and became close friends quite quickly. Eventually, you were close enough that he’d been talking about you to his older brother, and said older brother desperately wanted to meet you. You’d snickered at the minorly embarrassed blush covering Papyrus’ face as he asked you if you wanted to hang out somewhere else so his brother could meet you. 

You’d never really hung out with Papyrus other than at the bar so you were enthusiastic in your agreement to attend a potluck his friend was hosting. You were instructed to bring ‘whatever you wanted’ and the anxiety brought you damn near to tears, so you’d stress made brownies to make yourself feel better… then realized you could totally just… bring the brownies.

You arrived nervous but excited, mingling with a few of Papyrus' friends, that is until you all started eating and everyone had completely ignored your contribution. You were aware that monsters were vegan from working at the bar so long, and you were careful to use monster ingredients in the second batch of brownies, since you’d only used human ingredients in the first. You weren’t nearly confrontational enough to ask anyone why they weren’t eating your brownies, though it did make you upset, so you… sulked.. a little. You were a bit shy when it came to strangers you kind of needed to like you, so you were hoping none of Papyrus’ friends noticed and you could leave when the party began to die down.

 Your plans were derailed when a skeleton, much shorter than Papyrus sidled up next to you, poking your arm and asking if you were alright. You were incredibly reluctant at first, realizing this was probably Pap’s brother and you had really wanted to make a good impression, but you weren’t a liar. You hesitantly mumble that you felt bad that no one had tried one of your brownies, which the skeleton, who you quickly put together to be Sans, is shocked at. 

"I’M SURE THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH YOUR DISH HUMAN! HERE THE SANS-ATUONAL SANS SHALL SHOW YOU!!" He loudly boasted, making you blush as he nearly dragged you to the table, about to reach for one of the brownies you knew to be human.

You gently move his hand, used to touching bone after months of being friends with Papyrus, “Sorry- that one’s human? I thought there would be other humans here so I wanted to make sure there were enough brownies for everyone? Oh- that sounds bad- I- I made the uh.. The other brownies are vegan and use monster ingredients?”

Sans blinks, “... OHHHH! THAT’S PROBABLY WHY! THEY SMELL THE SAME SO THE OTHERS PROBABLY THOUGHT THEY WERE BOTH HUMAN AND DIDN’T EAT IT SO THEY WOULDN’T GET SICK!”

You open your mouth to respond, then sputter, “But! You were about to eat it?? Why?? WOuld you do that?”

Sans grins, “DON’T WORRY! SKELETONS CAN’T GET SICK! ALL BONES! IT GOES STRAIGHT THROUGH ME!” He winks at you and you blush, but you tell yourself your face only grew hot to avoid laughing at the pun. “I WOULDN’T GET SICK BUT I STILL CAN’T EXACTLY EAT THEM.. BUT I CAN STILL TASTE THEM IF THEY’RE HUMAN! BUT IF THESE ARE MONSTER SAFE, THEN IT’LL BE PERFECTLY FINE!”

He eats one of your brownies and compliments you excitedly, gathering the attention of other monsters until you were jokingly crowned the brownie baron. 

It boosted your confidence a lot, and it made you quite fond of Sans right off the bat.

Look at you now, two years later with the same bag you’d used to bring the batch of brownies to the potluck, waiting patiently for Sans to roll up to your apartment in his fancy blue motorcycle. You privately thought it was sexy, but he didn’t need to know that.

He was… unfairly attractive. Not to mention physically strong (he’d fully picked you up on multiple occasions), but.. Charitable. Sweet. Kind.

He’d been an absolute gentleman, taking your hand in his and, in a voice uncharacteristically soft for Sans , told you you were… incredible.

“Magnificent.”

You blush badly, blinking rapidly at the shorter skeleton. “What?”

He grins, “YOU’RE MAGNIFICENT! AND I’D LIKE- IT WOULD BE MY UTMOST PLEASURE TO TAKE YOU ON A DATE! A PICNIC! AT TWELVE PM FRIDAY BECAUSE I KNOW YOU HAPPEN TO BE OFF OF WORK THAT DAY!”

You flounder for a moment, but agree. 

You were so glad you agreed now, even if you were nervous as hell, watching Sans roll up on his bright blue motorcycle. You grin and wave at him as he slows to park at your side, kicking the stand out and hopping off. He takes his helmet off and hesitates before greeting you as usual. He squeezes you in a sweet hug and beams up at you, “GOOD AFTERNOON! YOU- YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL!”

You feel your face flush, and you pat his back, hoping it didn’t feel as awkward for him as it did for you. “Thank you. You look pretty handsome yourself, wheels.” You hip check him playfully, and you’re immediately rewarded with a bright blue blush lighting his cheeks.

He waves you off with an “OF COURSE!” and takes your bag, pulling a spare helmet from his seat and putting the bag in its place, handing you the helmet. He’s gentle as always as he helps you put it on, making sure it doesn’t get caught on your ears or pull your hair. His gloved hands tilt your chin up to fix the front of your helmet, and you’re so glad he can’t see your face. 

How the hell Sans managed to be simultaneously the most sweet and devastatingly sexy person you’d ever seen would never make sense to you. It was the definition of unfair. He literally had to stand on his tippy toes to do that and it was still sexy. He puts his helmet on without much fanfare, hopping back on the bike and giving you a hand to sit behind him. You wrap your arms firmly around his ribcage and keep your feet out of his way, like he’d taught you the first time he’d taken you riding. 

That time freaked you out. Not that you didn’t trust Sans, but that you were worried you’d mess up his balance with his weight. He’d looked at you like you were ridiculous for even thinking about it. Such a gentleman.

Sans patted your knee to signal he was taking off and you held tighter, shutting your eyes to avoid motion sickness as he started to drive, and you couldn’t help but find it attractive. You hope so hard that this date goes well.

—---------

Sans could not have put that helmet on faster.

Their plush thighs bordering his hips, their arms wrapped tight around his chest.

Holding their face, pulling the helmet he’d bought for them over their head.

Hell.

He didn’t know if he was ready for this! He liked them.. Perhaps a little more than he let on originally and that was perhaps biting him in the tail bone!

Papyrus had hyped him up plenty before Sans had even asked about the date, but Sans’ hands were still shaking. 

Stars, they were perfect. 

And he was just so.. not.

He couldn't help but get lost in his own head of how the night could end. Stars , what if they didn't like him as much as he did them, what if he came on too strong?! What if they hated his hyper nature- what if- 

A gentle hand was placed on his shoulder “bro breathe. s’ all good. ya got this. you're, ugh- sans -atonal remember?” 

Sans took a deep breath and nodded, “OF- OF COURSE! I AM MAGNIFICENT.” Papyrus nodded, but didn't get a chance to respond before Sans was pacing, “BUT WHAT IF I MESS IT UP? WHAT IF I COME ON TOO STRONG OR AGGRAVATE THEM OR- OR WHAT IF THEY DON’T LIKE ME AS MUCH AS I LIKE THEM?”

Papyrus dragged Sans into a hug, “sans. you guys are my best friends. You’re going to work it out. now breathe, and go.”

So Sans went. 

He didn’t know if he was supposed to hug them on the first date, if that was normal for new people, if it was too far, or if he should just treat it like a normal outing, but he realized a little late that they couldn’t see his hands shaking if he was hugging them.

It helped distract from the fact that he stuttered in the first sentence, but they didn’t seem to notice, so he let it go. 

Sans took a deep breath and sped up, hoping his nerves weren’t as obvious as he felt they were. They weren’t freaking out! HE SHOULDN’T BE FREAKING OUT!

—-------------

Sans pulls up to a nice little spot up on the hill, a place you knew to have an incredible view of the stars. You struggle a little to get off the bike, and Sans effortlessly picks you up off the bike and sets you down next to it, turning back to grab your bag out of the seat compartment. You’re thankful that he didn’t see your entire face go red at the very least. 

You have enough time to calm down when he gently pulls the helmet off your head. You smile at him in thanks, and you get a glimpse of blue when he takes off his helmet as well, placing both on the bike seat. He pulled a large, checkered blanket out of thin air, and you realize he was storing that, as well as the food he’d brought, in his inventory. 

You help him lay out the blanket and sit in the corner, helping him spread the food out.

He’s delighted to see you’d made tacos, and sheepish as he shows you that he’d also made tacos. The two of you laugh it off, and he’s elated to see you’d brought brownies.

He lets out a gasp and his eyelights flash into stars, “IT’S LIKE WHEN WE FIRST MET!”

You laugh and nod, “It is! It’s monster safe, I promise.”

Sans looks at you, a soft expression on his face, “I TRUST YOU.”

You pause, staring at him for a moment before snapping out of it, “...Thank you.”

—----------

The picnic went perfectly. You were nervous, but Sans was so sweet, you were eventually comfortable enough to admit it. 

“You know.. I was really scared I would fuck this up.”

Sans sits up straight, blinking at you. “WHAT? YOU- HOW???”

You blush, “Well. You know! You’re all charitable and sweet and sexy, and I’m just-”

Sans grabs your hand, “MAGNIFICENT. YOU ARE.. Magnificent, my dear.”

—---------

Sans could not imagine how they were nervous, though it was a very big ego boost to be called sexy by his datemate!! 

Privately, he struggled to push down the smug warmth filling his soul.

He cleared his throat and squeezed their hand gently, “You.. I’VE BEEN PANICKING ABOUT THIS DATE AND ASKING YOU OUT FOR WEEKS. YOU’RE INCREDIBLE! AND UNFAIRLY ATTRACTIVE! PLEASE DO NOT THINK OTHERWISE! WHY WOULD YOU THINK OTHERWISE? I GENUINELY CANNOT COMPREHEND HOW- HOW YOU FEEL LESSER HERE? ”

Their cheeks go a frankly beautiful shade of pink, and it's a hard battle not to touch them. One he loses, reaching out to cup their cheek with a gentle hand. They go a bit more pink, but he doesn’t squeeze them like he wants to.

They clear their throat, “You’re charitable and sweet and sexy, Sans. And deaf.”

He feels his face heat, “MAYBE I JUST WANTED TO HEAR YOU CALL ME SEXY AGAIN?”

—----------------

Oh. 

You tilt your head, leaning into his hand. It was baffling to you that he didn’t see himself as hot, or that he found you attractive at all, but.

Sans wasn’t a liar. 

So.

You pout, “You don’t think you’re sexy?”

His cheekbones light up bluer than they already were, “N-NO? WELL. I DIDN’T BEF-”

You rest a finger over his teeth, shushing him and letting your eyes go lidded. “Can I prove it to you?”

The kiss is breathless and passionate, leaving Sans’ hands shaking and you gasping quietly to regain your breath. 

Yeah.. 

You’re not all that nervous anymore.