Chapter Text
Ranboo watched as a distant figure framed by two black wings slowly approached the cabin. He peered through the dusty window at the end of the upstairs hallway from his spot in the blanket nest he had built over the past week or so. Tubbo had been right, the narrow corridor made for a cosy little nook, perfect to curl up in and watch the clouds roll by. It was just distant enough from the other occupants of the house to give him a sense of peace but not too far as to make him feel isolated.
Having kept his distance for most of the morning, Ranboo had almost forgotten that today was the day Tubbo's dad would arrive home. He and Tommy never stopped talking about the avian, especially when it came to showing him around the cabin. Little comments like 'Philza made this' or 'Philza would do that here' popped up in every conversation. It had been a lot for Ranboo to take in at first, but as time went on and more pieces of this family’s history were shared with him, Ranboo could almost imagine what a childhood in a house like this might have looked like.
Very different from being raised in Kingdom Hypixel, he could say for certain. Although, from the occasional mention of the other boys time in the streets and their interactions with the bigoted neighbouring village, only vaguely less stressful.
Ranboo didn’t like to compare his life to theirs (or his chest would start to get very tight and his mind would threaten to swallow him). But the idea of a present and loving father figure was entirely alien to him.
He had Dream, for a while.
Or...rather, the enderwalk had Dream. He wouldn’t compare that to anything fatherly. And besides, whatever love came from the kingdom's head Hunter came at a steep and irreversible price. So, safe to say, Ranboo was glad he didn’t share those memories with his alternate self.
Although, recently, bits and pieces of his other life had started to seep into his awareness. Fragments and flickers of memories that, now that Ranboo was aware of his abuse, couldn’t be brushed aside as just his imagination.
His thoughts were interrupted by a booming voice carrying up the stairs. “Dad's home-!” Tommy yelled, the noise loud enough to rattle the floorboards and reach every member of the household, even those in the next building over.
Ranboo never thought he would be relieved to hear Tommy’s peak volume. But after clawing his way out of a deep depressive period, the teen had earned the right to be as loud as he wanted. Anything to reignite that once-blinding spark within him.
Slowly, Ranboo unfolded himself from the window nook and made his way downstairs. By the time he got down there, the front door to the cabin had been thrown wide open and Tommy was long gone. Just as he prepared to step out as well, the light sound of hooves against the wooden floor alerted Ranboo to his partner's presence behind him.
The goat-hybrid gave a warm, fond smile the moment Ranboo turned around. He confided in Ranboo some time in that first month of arriving in the cabin that the novelty of seeing his partner in his childhood home never seemed to wear off. And as Tubbo slid his hand into Ranboo's and settled by his side, Ranboo was beginning to appreciate what it meant to have everyone you love within arm's reach.
“You heard the man. Phil’s home,” Tubbo said with a grin. This had been a moment the household had been anticipating ever since Techno first passed along the message that Philza had begun his flight home.
Ranboo never got the full details about where Philza had been, but the others didn’t seem fazed by his absence - only thrilled to have him home again. At first, Ranboo had been sceptical about just how great this man could possibly be. He had been hyped up by his four sons so much over the last few months that Ranboo was beginning to doubt he could live up to it.
Then a cloaked man with shaggy blonde hair and a gentle smile walked through the door. He was shorter than Ranboo but framed by very large, night-black wings with almost iridescent and sharp-looking feathers. He had the calloused hands of a fighter, the focused eyes of a sharpshooter, and enough scars to spell out an inhumane number of years of experience.
Yet, those capable hands raised as Tubbo ran in for a hug. Those imposing wings folded securely around the shorter hybrid. A husky voice murmured softly into his hair. "Hi mate."
And Ranboo understood in that moment everything he'd never had.
“Hi Dad,” Tubbo said in a light, chipper voice. His stubby tail wagged behind him.
Phil smiled as he hugged his adopted son, then pulled back to ruffle his hair. “Missed you, kiddo.”
“Missed you too,” he smiled back, only to then gasp and turn to the side. “Oh- oh, Dad! This is Ranboo, my partner.”
Ranboo involuntarily curled in on himself when two sets of eyes were suddenly directed at him. He had grown used to not feeling the lance of stress that shot through his body whenever a stranger looked at him, so the sudden introduction of a new piercing gaze set him on edge. Luckily Philza must have picked up on his discomfort because those sapphire blue eyes shifted away from him as quickly as they landed.
“Ranboo, of course,” the avian smiled. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. Have you been enjoying your time at the cabin?”
Ranboo nodded, both out of automatic politeness and because it was true. He had been enjoying his time, even with all of the stressors that a change in scenery brought.
Tommy came barreling through the door after Phil, with Techno lagging behind. Phil shrugged off his cloak and hooked it on the hat rack by the door, an almost instinctive gesture that showed his wholehearted comfort in the building.
Philza didn't so much command but rather exuded familiarity and routine. Techno was already stepping towards the kitchen before Phil could even finish asking him for help making dinner, and Tommy was quick to call dibs on setting the table, which left Tubbo groaning in annoyance.
“But I hate cleaning up afterwards,” he complained with a pout.
“Yeah, but you have Ranboob to help you now, so it’ll take half the time,” Tommy called back, already heading for the crockery cabinet.
“But Ranboo can't touch water and I hate the texture of wet food.”
“I know you do. We all do.”
Tubbo followed his brother to the kitchen to continue the argument, leaving Ranboo standing awkwardly in the main room. He patted his pants absently, tail swinging back and forth.
Ever since finding out how many choices other people had made for Ranboo in his life, Tubbo had started making an effort to avoid giving the half-ender instructions. It was considerate of him and helpful in the long run probably, but it meant that anxiety hung over Ranboo's head any time he was left to his own devices.
The choice between the entrance to the kitchen or retreating to the back of the house taunted him. He could either try to converse with any of the other people in the house and risk making a fool of himself or give Philza the first impression that he was antisocial and inconsiderate.
A low warble escaped his throat and he pried his hands apart as they started to scratch at one another. Maybe Ranboo could just follow Tubbo and do whatever his partner was doing.
He took one step forward before freezing again.
That might be imposing on his and Tommy's conversation, or him standing around could interfere with Tommy setting the table. Ear tilting towards the kitchen, he could hear the brothers bickering around the dining table, with Tommy setting out plates and Tubbo making slight adjustments to his layout just to piss him off.
This would be Ranboo's first formal dinner with the family. Ever since arriving from Hypixel, they had just eaten in their own spaces, especially when Tommy could barely leave his room. And Prime knows Ranboo hadn't had a formal dinner of his own since…well, ever. On rare occasions, he would dine out with company, but other than that it was just him alone in his apartment.
There were endless ways for this night to go wrong.
“Ranboo, mate, can you help me chop the salad?” that new voice called from the kitchen.
Ranboo lifted his head in surprise and gave a light chirp of confusion but followed the voice to the kitchen nonetheless.
Inside, Techno was filling a pot with chicken, water and (naturally) plenty of potatoes, while Philza was mixing a bowl of spices for the stock beside him.
“Board and knife‘s over there,” Phil hummed, nodding towards the kitchen counter.
Ranboo gave a short nod in response and shuffled over it, trying to make himself smaller to avoid bothering the other people in the compact kitchen. Chopping vegetables was light work, although knowing now how Ranboo gained the muscle memory to be so adept with a blade left a feeling of unease in his stomach.
As he worked he had one ear lifted to listen in on the room's conversation. Techno and Phil were just making small talk about the trip and Tommy and Tubbo just continued their bickering. This put his mind at ease somewhat, yet Ranboo couldn't help but wait for the shoe to drop. At some point Philza would have to ask what had happened to them all. Why they all seemed different. Why Ranboo was even here.
Over dinner, Phil seemed to skirt around the topic. He asked light questions about how everyone was doing as he poured out servings of soup. Replies were short and vague but he listened intently regardless. When Tommy changed the topic immediately back to Philza's trip, he cheerily answered his son's questions and shared little anecdotes.
Ranboo barely spoke a word the entire time.
At some point near the end of the meal, Tubbo's head leaned against his shoulder. He appreciated the reminder that just because Phil was back, it didn't mean that he would be forgotten or ignored. Yet that apprehension of being in the presence of a stranger never dissipated.
The group eventually migrated over to the living room. Tubbo and Ranboo took one end of the couch while Techno rested against the other. Phil settled down in the old leather armchair and Tommy sat cross-legged on the carpet. It wasn’t cold enough out to start the fire, so Techno had his blanket on instead. He had offhandedly mentioned something about Piglin hybrids needing more heat than others in response to Ranboo's staring.
“So…” Phil murmured gently.
Ranboo was immediately tense, knowing the time had come to talk. From the frown that passed over Tubbo's face, he hadn’t been looking forward to this moment either. Even after their efforts so far to break the ice and actually process what happened to them, it had been on a when-you-need-it basis so far. Phil would want a recap. How could they even begin?
“I’m glad we’re all back home safe,” Phil continued. “I’ve heard bits and pieces from Techno but wanted to hear from you boys what happened during your trip to the king-“
“Well, I killed someone,” Tommy said abruptly, his eyes fixated on the carpet. His fingernails had a tight grip around his forearms. “Tubbo did too.”
Ranboo's eyes widened and his eyes darted to Philza. He expected surprise, horror, maybe even anger. The avian just nodded along, letting Tommy speak.
“I didn’t want to. I was forced - uh, coerced - into this illegal fighting ring. There was this guy, Dream. He’s the one Tubbo got killed.” Tommy spoke tightly, like he just wanted to get the words out. Get it over and done with.
Tubbo's lips pulled into a tight frown. He shrugged and nodded. “Yeah. He got stomped to death by a horse. He had it coming.”
“Head Hunter of Hypixel,” Techno supplied, filling in the blanks. “Took a keen interest in Tommy.” Techno didn’t elaborate, instead giving that space to let his brother speak.
Tommy nodded and winced a little. He pulled his knees to his chest before continuing. “Y-yeah. He also was controlling Ranboo, sorta.”
There was a pause. Only after Ranboo felt the burn of eyes on him did he realise that Tommy was letting him explain his part.
It hadn’t even occurred to Ranboo to recount his experience. The mere idea of talking to a group of people made his heart hammer and throat close up.
Tubbo noticed this and gave his hand a light squeeze. “You don’t have to speak if you don’t wanna, Boo.”
Ranboo shrugged and frowned a little. He couldn’t form the words if he tried.
“Safe to say it fucking sucked,” Tubbo jumped in instead, much to Ranboo's relief. “He got in all of our heads. Pitted us against each other, blew up Ranboo and I, and tried to enlist Tommy and Tech in a war. Which I wouldn’t be surprised if he helped start.”
“Well we can’t go that far. Hypixel's been on the brink of war for years. You can’t build that strong of a magic arsenal and an ego without arousing suspicion,” Techno explained in his typical monotone voice.
“I see,” Phil sighed softly. It wasn't an incredibly detailed recount, hardly bearing any scars, but if Phil was eager for more information, he didn't show it. “That sounds awful. I wish I could’ve been there for you. I’m so glad you all made it out of there and had each others backs.”
Then the avian turned to face Ranboo, his expression soft and caring. “I’m glad you were able to escape too, Ranboo. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you need.”
Ranboo's breathing stuttered, not because Phil made eye contact (he was still keeping his gaze just shy of Ranboo) but because of the gentle, genuine tone that the ender-hybrid struggled to understand.
Thankfully, the moment was short-lived and Phil turned away to address the rest of the group. “If anyone needs to talk, you know I’ll always be around.”
This earned a few nods.
“Great," he clapped his hands together. "Now, who wants to play cards?”
Ranboo watched Tommy build a grave the next morning.
The teen found the biggest, flattest rock he could find and dragged it across the grass to a nice secluded area. With carving tools supplied by Techno, he spent a few hours crudely carving a name into the rock.
Jack.
He didn’t take breaks. He didn’t speak a word. Tommy chipped away at the stone with reckless abandon. It was like something had possessed him and wouldn’t let go until the task was complete.
Ranboo didn’t mean to snoop but he couldn’t find it in himself to look away. Perched on the patio outside the cabin, he watched as Tommy hammered the chisel into the stone again and again. Occasionally the metal would slip and he would pull his hand away sharply, hissing in pain. But still, he continued.
Jack was the person he killed in The Vault. The fighting pit that Hunters threw new trainees into, pitting them against each other for a chance to fast-track their way to becoming Champions. Only, Tommy didn’t know it was a fight to the death at the time.
Ranboo wondered if he had known, either, when he was thrown in there at age 14. He certainly didn’t remember The Vault. Not consciously, at least. Those were memories that his other side held. Ones that he knew he shouldn’t touch if he wanted to keep getting up each morning.
The Enderwalk didn’t have a good sense of right and wrong. He thought in black and white, like the split colours of his own skin. He knew who he should trust and followed them blindly. That led to a lot of very bad actions carried out under some very bad orders.
Ranboo never learned what started it all. He wasn’t supposed to know. That didn't change the fact that he still wanted to. He wanted that closure. That piece of the puzzle that could let him know if he was a bad person or not.
He wanted to know whos name he should be scratching into stone.
Tommy lifted his head from his carving and glanced Ranboo's way. He regarded him for a moment, stormy eyes blinking heavily for a moment before he nodded his head to the side. “Come over here, Boo-boy.”
“Hmm?” He didn’t realise Tommy knew he was there, until the human's next comment reminded him.
“Your static is loud as fuck, king. Come sit with me. I don’t mind.”
Ah, right. Tommy could hear magic auras. Ranboo's especially, apparently, since it was particularly louder than others. Something to do with the enderwalk, he guessed.
“You were down there too,” Tommy mumbled softly after Ranboo sat down.
It was a fine line between being open with each other and not stumbling into each others triggers. Ranboo was learning (through great trial and error) about setting boundaries. He tried to ease one up now.
“I…don’t really remember it. I don't really like to talk about it. O-or think about it, even.”
“That’s fair,” Tommy nodded. “I find most days I can’t do anything but think about it.” He brushed some stone dust away from the engraving and repositioned the chisel. “Is it nice to not remember things?”
Ranboo looked towards the tree line and shrugged. “I don’t know. It’s not really that simple.”
Maybe, somewhere way back in his memory books Ranboo could find some indication of his mental state at that time.
His hand subconsciously brushed against the raised filigree on his newest journal. After the mayhem of escaping Hypixel, he found the old one difficult to look over and stopped writing in it altogether. It took him a few days of very patchy memory before he gave in and asked Tubbo if there was a spare blank leatherbound he could use. Since then he’s had this dark brown journal with floral insignia on the cover and rough sepia pages. It felt right to have a fresh start in the new location.
The only issue was that his old journal was all he had left of his memories.
The group had packed up before they left Hypixel and after switching carts mid-journey to escape Dream, a lot of their belongings got left behind. Including another volume of Ranboo's memory book. The rest were back in his apartment, somewhere in storage. He could fill in up to 5 a year. But for the foreseeable future, those would remain stashed away in the home he left behind. Ranboo had enough income saved up to pay for the housing for another year at least but even the idea of going back to get his things made his insides feel weird.
“What's on your mind?” Tommy hummed, breaking the silence.
“Oh..” Ranboo glanced up at him, daring a moment of eye contact. “Just…thinking about the stuff I left behind,” he admitted with a shrug.
Tommys lips pulled into a tight frown. “Oh yeah…Man, that's gotta suck, eh?”
Ranboo shrugged again, then nodded. “It does and it doesn't. Most of the stuff in my house I didn't use anyway. And the rest will be there when-” he paused, correcting himself, “-if I need it s-sent over or something.”
“It's okay if you wanna go back,” Tommy mumbled. “I get it. Home is home.”
Tommy knew that Ranboo tried to run away during an enderwalk. Tubbo told him at the same time he told Ranboo. It didn't upset Ranboo, necessarily, that Tubbo talked so openly about this. He was everyones problem now, after all. But it was still…uncomfortable to have his alternate side known by anyone.
Before he met Tubbo, Ranboo didn't think anyone knew about the enderwalk. Not the Hunters. Especially not Dream.
“Ran?” Tommy tilted his head.
He didn't realise he had gone shock-still until Tommy snapped him out of it. “S-sorry.”
“It's okay,” he murmured back. “Shits tough.”
“Y-yeah…”
After a moment the teen resumed his chiseling. Ranboo watched silently as each letter took its form. A few minutes passed before Tommy spoke again.
“You know, your Noise isn't as chaotic as it used to be.”
“What?” Ranboo looked up in surprise.
“Yeah. It used to be sorta unbearable. Like this grating, screaming sound. I thought something was like, really wrong with you.”
He frowned. “Uh...thanks?”
Tommy shook his head. “No, no, but like- because something was wrong. I think it was Dreams doing. Y’know? Like he’d messed with your magic so much that it sorta stayed that way.”
Ranboo stiffened. “Oh.”
Flashes of memory passed through his mind. Being grabbed. Feeling white hot pain shoot through his arm. Fingers running through his hair that crackled and buzzed. Trying to stay lucid but being dragged into static.
“Y-yeah…” Tommy mumbled, noticing Ranboo curl in on himself slightly. “He did the same to me once. Not fun. I can't imagine… Sorry. Sorry, you didnt wanna talk about it. I’ll stop bringing it up.”
“Its fine,” Ranboo managed to mumble. “You said…you said it was better now though?”
Tommy nodded. “It's not, uh, normal yet. But it's better. That's a good sign. For your sanity and mine,” he tried to joke, but it didnt quite land.
“R-right…yeah.”