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Chapter Text

Penelope POV

“Ladies and gentlemen, we have begun our descent into Los Angeles. Please turn off all portable electronic devices and stow them until we have arrived at the gate. In preparation for landing, be certain your seat back is straight up and your seat belt is fastened. The weather in LA is a mostly sunny and pleasant 70 degrees Fahrenheit or 21 degrees Celsius.”

Penelope Featherington has never been so tired and so excited at the same time. This is by far the longest flight she’s ever taken, and it is the first time she has traveled alone. When they took off eleven and a half hours ago, it was 5 degrees C in London (around 40 F) and rainy, typical for February. She pressed her forehead against the window and marveled at the skyline. From this vantage point, she could see the Pacific Ocean and began imagining putting her toes in the water, even if only to be able to say she’d done it.

The tall man in the middle seat groaned as he tried and failed to stretch his legs in the cramped space of the economy cabin. She could almost hear Colin Bridgerton grumbling about how lucky she was to be fairy sized. Most of her air travel has been with the Bridgertons. They have been her second family for most of her 24 years and often included her in their vacations abroad. She was almost always seated between her two best friends, Eloise and her brother Colin, the latter taking the aisle seat to have more room for his long legs. At 6 ft 1, he was a little more than a foot taller than her petite stature. She may have had plenty of leg room, but eleven and a half hours was a long time to be trapped in a small space.

Colin. She hadn’t seen him in several months and was both anxious and thrilled to be able to spend time with him. Colin moved to LA almost four years ago to find fame and fortune as singer and musician. He’d been playing guitar and piano since he was a toddler and had always dreamed of being a pop or rock star. His father, Edmund, had taught nearly all his children to play and they all loved hearing him sing, Edmund’s silky baritone voice mesmerizing his audience. Edmund’s performances were limited to his family and close friends, as his position as head of the Bridgerton Foundation, an investment firm that had been in the family for nearly 200 years, took up most of his time. He was also the 12^th Viscount Bridgerton, which was mostly a status symbol at that time.

With a wife, seven children, and another on the way, Edmund’s regular audience had already been a decent size. Sadly, Edmund died before his youngest child, Hyacinth, was born, leaving his wife, Violet, to take charge of the family. Their eldest son, Anthony, had just finished university and stepped into Edmund’s role at the company, his title, and, most importantly, as the eldest man in the family.

Of the eight siblings – four boys and four girls, only Colin and his sister Francesca continued his musical tradition. Francesca was now playing piano with the Royal Scottish National Orchestra.

The last time she saw Colin was at Francesca’s engagement party, held just after their sister Daphne’s wedding. Over the course of those two weeks, it felt like their relationship was evolving from friendship to something more. Maybe it was all in her head. Nothing happened. Colin was still technically with the nightmare named Marina Thompson and Penelope was still technically with her boyfriend of two years, Alfred Debling, so even if Colin and Penelope were on the same page, neither would ever turn that page under the circumstances. But now they were both unattached, so maybe...it IS Valentine’s Day…this could this be the start of…

Penelope was jolted from her daydreams when the plane bounced onto the tarmac. Passengers clapped their hands and began turning their phones on as they taxied to the gate. Missed text messages began popping up.

Clan Bridgerton (Anthony, Kate, Benedict, Sophie, Colin, Daphne, Simon, Eloise, Francesca, John, Gregory, Hyacinth, Violet, Penelope)

Eloise: Did you make it? Is my idiot brother there?

Violet: Hope you had a safe flight. Let us know when you land, dear.

Greg: Happy Valentine’s Day, Penelope. Wish you were here.💝

Hy: In your dreams, Greg.

Eloise: She’s in LA for work, not for that consumerist, corporate profit holiday that proliferates the bogus diamond industry, raises the cost of chocolate, and exacerbates mental health issues for singletons.

Daphne: You’re such a romantic. You must be exhausted, Penelope. Colin, are you being a gentleman and picking her up?

Colin: Yes, I am already here. I’ll be at the baggage claim, Pen.

Penelope took a deep breath and let it out slowly. How did she get so lucky to be part of the Clan Bridgerton, as Violet referred to all of her children and their significant others?

Penelope sent a quick reply.

Penelope: I’ve landed. Flight was fine, but very long! See you soon, Col. In case you don’t recognize me, I’ll be carrying a yellow rose tucked in a book.

Colin: Phew! I barely remember what you look like. You’re a tall brunette, right?

Penelope snorted. That would describe his sisters, for sure, but Penelope was quite the opposite, more like a petite redhead. Although she never thought of herself as petite. Yes, she was short, but her body was curvy and soft rather than slim and sleek.

Francesca: Have fun, Penelope! I’m sure Colin will show you a great time while you’re there.

Benedict: Oooh, now this conversation got interesting. How great of a time?

Greg: Shut it, Ben. They’re just friends. Right, you’re just friends?

Eloise: Eww, don’t even joke about that. They’re friends.

Benedict: There you go, Greg. You still have a chance.

Kate: Knock it off! Have the best time, Penelope. Enjoy the California sunshine!

Penelope chuckled and put her phone away as she began to deplane. She made her way to customs where the agent asked the usual questions about the purpose of her visit and where she was going. “I’m here for three months for work, staying at this address in Santa Monica.” She wrote down the address of the AirBnb that Danbury Publishing had rented for her.

A half hour later, she was making her way to the baggage claim when she saw a huge sign with a pen and a feather drawn on it and the words, “Quill you be my Valentine?” Behind the sign was Colin holding a bouquet of pink peonies, a wide smile on his face.

Penelope’s heart skipped a beat. The man gets more and more handsome every time she sees him. His chestnut curls look like he’s been running his fingers through them. His burgundy henley outlined his fit body and his jeans hugged his strong thighs and tight butt.

She giggled at the sign. Colin liked to tease her about the fact that she is a writer with the nickname Pen and the last name Feather(ington), like an old-fashioned quill. Penelope quickened her steps, not quite a run, but more than a walk. When she got close, Colin dropped the sign, opened his arms and she launched herself into them. He immediately picked her up and swung her around, kissing the top of her head.

He set her back onto her feet without releasing her from his embrace. “You’re here!”

“I’m here!” He stared down at her for several seconds before pulling away slightly, keeping one arm around her as he picked up the sign, grabbed her carry-on roller bag, and steered them towards the conveyer belt that had just started circulating luggage.

“So, what’s your answer?” He gestured to the sign.

Penelope giggled. “Hmm, I don’t know. What does it entail? Will I have to kiss you? Eat foods I can’t pronounce? Watch a Hallmark movie marathon?”

“You get to kiss me if you wish, but it just means you have to hang out with your favorite man.”

“Oh, is Michael here?” Colin’s jaw dropped. Michael Stirling is a friend of Colin’s from Eton and university and the cousin of Francesca’s fiancé. He lives in LA and is actor starring in a daytime television show for the last few years. Penelope smiled sweetly. “You’re such a dork. Yes, Col, I quill.”

Colin kissed the top of her head. “Be still my heart.” Penelope pointed to her two large suitcases rounding its way on the conveyer belt and Colin picked them up easily. “Let’s get out of here. Your carriage awaits, milady.”

“Thank you, my Lord. Shall I expect a curricle or a phaeton?”

“Just a humble sedan. I am but a third son.” They both laugh, eyes crinkling, immediately easing into their regular banter. Timeless friends. “Michael let me borrow his car. He sends his best regards. He has a date or two tonight.”

“Of course, he does. He’s a capital R rake.” Michael had a reputation as a ladies’ man, at least if you believed the internet.

Colin snorted. “I thought that was my brother, the viscount.”

“Before Kate domesticated him, yes. Then it was Benedict, but he’s been tamed as well.”  Penelope glanced up at Colin as they walked through the parking garage. “Now you, Capital R Rake or Rock Star?”

“Alas, I am neither a rake nor a rock star.” He pressed the button on the key fob to unlock the doors, then stowed her luggage. Penelope kept the flowers with her, periodically burying her nose in the soft petals to take in the fragrance.

“You will be one of those soon. Hopefully the rock star.” Thinking about him with other women caused her to shiver. She knew it was foolish and impractical to wish for a romantic relationship with Colin, but she has loved him in one way or another since the moment they met as children. They have been living on the edge of the friend zone for years.

“Hopefully the rock star,” Colin repeated, winking at Penelope before pulling out of the space. “You must be exhausted from the travel and the time difference, Pen.  Since it’s Valentine’s Day, getting a table just about anywhere is a challenge. I was going to make a reservation, but I thought you might be too tired to enjoy it. Besides, if you’re anything like Eloise, you probably hate the fake holiday anyway.”

“I like Valentine’s Day. It’s just a day to celebrate love - all kinds of love. No need to give gifts or go out for expensive dinners, just remind the people you love that you love them. And you’re right, I’m running on pure adrenaline at the moment, but the jet lag is going to hit hard and soon. Besides, I’m not dressed for a restaurant, and I don’t have the energy to do so.”

“You look adorable and snuggly.” He glanced over to her, taking in fiery red hair pulled into a messy bun and her pink track suit with the black V-neck tee underneath, highlighting her decolletage. She thought she saw him suck in a breath. “So, what do you think of fast-food and an early night? Do you have to meet your author tomorrow?”

“Not until Friday. I have tomorrow to rest and settle in. The AirBnb is supposedly in walking distance to her house, so I may walk over tomorrow just to see how long it takes to get there. And fast-food sounds great. How about something I can’t get in England?”

Colin smiles as the conversation moves to food, his favorite subject. “So many possibilities. Tacos, falafel, gyros, any style chicken, you name it. And, of course, In N Out Burger.”

“A burger and chips sound heavenly right now.” Penelope’s face lights up as Colin hands her his phone.

“That’s a burger and fries. You’re in America now. Type it into Waze so we can find the one closest to your place. And pick a playlist for us.” Penelope does so, choosing a playlist that included some songs from The Ton, Colin’s former band. They are both quiet as Penelope takes in the views. Even in the dusk of night, she can make out rows and rows of palm trees and the city skyline in the distance.

They drive through the burger place and arrive at the bungalow-style house that Danbury Publishing had rented for Penelope for the next three months. Penelope punched in the code for the lock box and removed the keys. Turning on the lights, she was delighted to see the small, but comfortable lodgings. The small, but somehow spacious kitchen was a chef’s paradise. The open concept living room and dining room featured comfortable furnishings in a boho chic style, with French doors opening to a small deck with a table and chairs and a porch swing. A small office and bathroom completed the first floor. The second floor had a small guest room and a master bedroom with an en suite bathroom and a walk-in closet. A sliding glass door from the master bedroom opened to a small balcony with two chaise loungers. The ocean was barely visible through some trees in the distance, but she swore she could hear the sound of the waves crashing to shore.

Colin placed her luggage in her bedroom and they made their way to the dining area. He spread out their selection of burgers and fries and shakes and dug in. Penelope moaned with pleasure as she bit into the burger. Colin’s head popped up and he smiled as his eyes grew dark. Penelope was enjoying her meal but kept hiding her yawns behind her hand. They finished their dinner and Colin gathered up their trash.

“Would you like help unpacking? Are you okay by yourself or would you like me to stay? I’ll stay as long as you’d like, even just until you fall asleep.”

“You are so sweet. I’ll grab what I need for tonight and unpack tomorrow.” Penelope stretched her arms as she tried to stifle another yawn. “I was assured this is a safe neighborhood, so you don’t have to stay. I’m going straight to bed and will probably be asleep before my head hits the pillow.”

A look of disappointment flashed across Colin’s face before he broke into a brilliant smile. “I will let you rest. What time do you want me to be here tomorrow? I’ll take you to the grocery store and wherever else you’d like to go.”

“You don’t have to do that. Don’t you have to work?”

“Not until tomorrow night. How about 8 tomorrow? We can have breakfast and go shopping and look for your author’s place and anything else you want to do. I want to spend as much time as you let me while you are here. It’s like having a piece of home with me.”

“That sounds perfect.” She intends to savor every moment she can get with him.

“Let me take this trash outside. I’ll be right back.” He rushed out the front door. Penelope searched the cupboards and found a vase, filling it with water and placing the flowers in it. As she was setting the flowers on the table, Colin was entering the house with his hands behind his back.

“What are you hiding, Col?” A playful grin on her face, she tried and failed to see what was behind him.

“On occasions such as today, if one is giving flowers, one should also be providing something sweet, preferably of the chocolate variety. I’m pretty sure it’s a law, at least in California.” He brought the box of Ghirardelli chocolates from behind his back, holding it out with both hands as he went down on one knee and bowed his head. “For my lady.”

Penelope giggled as she brought both hands to her heart. “You are astonishing, sir. I thank you kindly and accept your delicious gift.” She took the box from his hands and hugged it to her before setting it down with the flowers.

His grin could not have been wider. “The pleasure is mine, Miss Featherington.” She stifled another yawn through her smile. “I’d better let you get some sleep.” He took her hands in his as he walked backwards toward the door. He gathered her to him, wrapping his arms around her, pulling her close. “I’m so happy you are here.”

Penelope inhaled his familiar scent, sandalwood and citrus and Colin. She wanted to drag him upstairs and keep him wrapped around her while she slept. She wanted even more than that, but let’s not get carried away. “I’m happy to be here. Thank you for picking me up and making today so special. Happy Valentine’s Day, Colin.”

Colin squeezed her and kissed the top of her head. “Happy Valentine’s Day, Pen. In the spirit of your definition of Valentine’s Day, I will remind you that I love you.”

Penelope’s heart soared. Of course he meant it as a friend, but it’s still wonderful to hear. “I love you, too, Colin. Always and forever.” She lifted her head, and they looked into each other’s eyes. After a few beats, Colin leaned down and pressed the softest, lightest kiss on her lips. “Goodnight, my Pen.”

Penelope watched as her best friend, the man she’s loved forever, walked away toward the car. She pledged not to overthink anything, especially as bone tired as she was. This could be a life-changing trip in so many ways.

Chapter Text

Colin POV

“Wait!” Startled, Colin stopped his progress towards the borrowed car and turned back to see Penelope in the open doorway. “I changed my mind,” she said as she looked down toward the ground and back up to him.

Colin followed Penelope back into the house. “Changed your mind?”

Penelope reached out and took Colin’s hand in her much smaller one. “I want you to stay with me tonight if you’re still willing.” He could see the pleading in her big blue eyes, and he would not have been able to deny her if he wanted to. “Of course, Pen. I always want to be with you.” Penelope rewarded him with a small smile. Without releasing his hand, she turned out the lights and led him upstairs.

“I noticed some new toothbrushes in the bathroom. I guess you can sleep in your boxers. Is that okay.”

Colin stifled a laugh. Of course she’d be thinking of his comfort. “It’s more than okay.” He started to pull his hand away to head to the guest room, but Penelope pulled him back. “Where are you going?”

“Um, to the guest room?” He saw the surprise on her face, followed by something that looked like disappointment. “Oh, okay. That makes sense,” she grumbled.

“Did you have something else in mind?” He started tracing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb.

“I’m so tired, but this is my first time ever traveling alone. Would you mind sleeping with me in my bed and just holding me until I fall asleep? You can go to the guest room after that if you’d like or you can stay.”

“I’ll stay.” Penelope opened her suitcase and removed a few things before closing herself in the bathroom to change. She emerged wearing a pale-yellow short slip of a nightgown that barely reached her thighs, her ample bosom spilling out the sides and top, her hair down, tumbling well past her shoulders. She turned off the light and he removed his clothes, leaving on his boxers. He climbed in bed and pulled her into his embrace, spooning behind her. “Goodnight, Colin,” she whispered as she turned her head and pressed a light kiss on his lips. She kept her head turned as she moved his hands from around her waist to her breasts. She kissed him again, harder.

“Colin, please, I need you inside me.” Colin wasted no time reaching down, shocked to find that she was soaking wet and not wearing underwear. Penelope pulled on the front of her nightdress, ripping the front to release her supple breasts into his waiting hand. She rolls over him, pulls down his boxers, grabs his cock and lines herself up and starts to sink down as she moans…no, it’s not a moan, it’s more like a screech, or a siren, or…

His alarm. Colin opens his eyes to find himself alone in his own bed, hard-on raging, alarm blaring. Disappointed, he grabs his phone and turns the alarm off. He sighs and runs his hand over his face. It was just a dream. He’s been dreaming of Penelope like that for years.

Colin sits up, looking around his bedroom. He’s lived here for just over three years, yet it is almost as impersonal as when he first arrived. The small room barely fits his king-sized bed, a nightstand and a chest of drawers. He checks the time and bounds out of the bed. He wants to pick up pastries and coffee for Pen for breakfast before heading over. He walks through the rest of his small apartment, just one open room with a tiny kitchen, an island with stools, a well-worn sofa and chair against one wall, and the rest of the room filled with instruments – acoustical guitars, electric guitars, a keyboard, a mixing board, a sound board, and an upright piano, along with non-traditional instruments he picked up and learned on his travels – a sitar, djembes drums from Ghana, and more. The top of the piano and the walls were covered with photos of his family. Several include Penelope, but his favorites are the pictures of just the two of them on her 16^th and 19^thbirthdays looking so happy and hopeful. She was adorable then and she is stunning now.

He sits at the piano and looks at that photo as his fingers start tapping out a gentle melody, seemingly on their own. A moment later he actually hears what he is playing. It’s good. It’s his heart when he holds Penelope. It’s the feel of the whisper of a kiss. He grabs his phone and hits record as he continues to play. She has always been his muse.

Arranging musical notes into a brand-new melody has long been second nature to him. Music has been part of his life since birth. As much as his family loved to hear him play and sing, his mother and Anthony would have preferred Colin joined the family business than pursue such a difficult career. It wasn’t that they didn’t support artistic pursuits. Benedict had been accepted into the Royal College of Art, perhaps the most prestigious art school in the world. His works are in several galleries and small museums throughout Europe, and a few of his paintings are at a small art gallery right here in LA. Francesca was a prodigy for classical piano. Even in secondary school, she was sought after by several symphonies. But the popular music industry was different. Colin is as good as or better than any musician on the charts and his voice is powerful and mellifluous with an extraordinary vocal range. He certainly has the looks – some would say he is devastatingly handsome and there are plenty of women who swarm him after a performance. But in this industry, you need something more, something that sets you apart, and a little (or a lot of) luck.

After graduating from the University of London with a degree in marketing, Colin dipped into his trust fund to exercise his wanderlust and travel the world for over a year. He spent time in parts of Europe, Asia, Africa, and South America, listening to music, soaking up culture, introducing himself to new sounds and instruments and traditions. In each place he visited, he met interesting people, learned to play new instruments, and trained his voice in new ways.

When he returned home from his last journey, Anthony and his mother expected him to join the Bridgerton Foundation, working in the marketing division and using his free time for his music. His family assumed he had studied marketing so that he could work for the Foundation, even just as a backup plan, but he’d done it because to be successful, he would need to sell himself as a commodity, and having some education in marketing could only benefit his music career in the long run.

They made a deal. Anthony and Violet would provide whatever support he needed for four years. If it didn’t pan out, he would go to work for the Foundation and focus on music in his spare time.

He could have stayed in London, but he had too much pride to have to wonder whether his progress would be because he was one of the well-known, well-respected Bridgertons or due to his own talent. He decided to move to LA and use the stage name CJ Bridges. It helped that Michael Stirling was already living and working in LA. Michael was an actor on a popular daytime television series, Days of Our Lives. For the first few months in LA, Colin stayed with Michael, and Michael helped him learn the lay of the land and introduced him to people who might be able to steer him in the right direction.

While he has not “made it” as a musician, he is consistently playing for audiences. The first year, he played at open mic events, provided accompaniment or backup singing or both for a couple of recording studios, and stepped in when bands needed someone with his talents. He thought he had his big break when the lead singer and guitarist of an up-and-coming band, The Ton, went solo and Colin stepped in. The girl he was dating, Marina Thompson, knew the manager (and bass guitarist) of the band and introduced Colin. Jonny Newton was more than a manager. He was an accomplished songwriter and he and Colin created some beautiful music. Two and a half years later, Colin had no choice but to leave the band and basically went back to square one. Fortunately, Will and Alice Mondrich, owners of the Whistledown Café, recognized his talent and offered him an artist/musician-in-residency opportunity at their music club in West Hollywood. Whistledown’s was known for launching careers.

Colin knew that to make it in this business, he had to create his own music. But the only song that he has ever thought was good enough, that ever made him proud, was the one he wrote for Penelope. He started writing it when he was 18 years old, the night he realized he was falling in love with her. He didn’t finish it until three years later. He’s only ever performed it for Penelope and for himself.

Her fiery hair ignites the sky,
Each sunset feels like her goodbye...

Colin realized that his mind was wandering. The song he’d been composing transitioned into Penelope’s song, Home in You. He checked his watch and realized he needed to get moving if he was going to be on time for Pen.

He continued singing the song as he prepared to leave. When he’d finished writing that song, he was convinced that she was the one, she was endgame. He promised himself he wouldn’t tell her his feelings or pursue her until he was worthy of her love, if she had it in her to love him back.

Wherever she is, that’s where I’ll stay,
She’s my forever, my night, my day.
She’s my home, she’s my home.

Penelope is home to me.

He dreamed that some day he would add to the last line…

Penelope, please marry me.

Chapter Text

Penelope POV

Penelope was sitting at the desk in the small home office writing in her journal. She’d been up since before 4 am and gave up trying to fall back to sleep at around 5 am. She found the binder that the owner of the AirBnb had left and perused the list of cafes until she came across a small coffee shop in easy walking distance. She made her way there just before it opened at 6:00 am, grabbed a chai tea and a fruit and yogurt cup, and enjoyed the quiet walk back to the house as the sun began to rise. The air was crisp, but warm enough not to need a jacket.

She went about unpacking her luggage and arranging her meager belongings around the house. She set up the office in a way that would be most comfortable and efficient. She still had more than an hour before Colin was expected to arrive, so she’d taken out her latest journal and leafed through the collection of poems she’d written over the past few years.

The gentle kiss Colin bestowed on her lips last night occupied her mind. She swore her lips were still lightly tingling and she absently rubbed them with her fingertip. She added one more stanza to the poem inspired by that kiss and put her pen down. She flipped the page to a poem she’d written a few months ago about missing Colin. This journal was filled with poems inspired by thoughts and memories and daydreams about Colin.

She glanced out the open window, inhaling the slightly salty air, marveling at the clear blue sky.  She should write poetry about warm weather and cloudless skies in February, not unrequited desire and feather kisses.

It’s not like they haven’t kissed before. They’d even had a couple of veritable make-out sessions. But that whisper of a kiss packed a lot of punch.

She’s loved Colin since the day she met him. It was puppy love, infatuation, and just about every variation of love. She’s tried to get over him, but somehow it always comes back to Colin. Nearly all of her firsts were Colin.

A month after her 8^th birthday, Colin was the first boy she’d ever met besides classmates. The bright yellow hat that her mother had insisted she wear (her mother loved dressing her in yellow and other happy citrus colors) flew into 10-year-old Colin’s face as he was riding his bike, racing his brothers. He fell into a mud puddle and laughed and laughed, actually smiling at Penelope. He introduced her to his family, and she quickly became best friends with his sister Eloise. She decided then and there that this was the boy she’d marry one day.

Just after her 9^th birthday, Colin became her first real boy friend (friend who is a boy) when Eloise started competitive tennis and Colin began seeking her out during El’s practice times. They loved sharing jokes, chocolate, and stories.

Around her 10^th birthday, Colin was the first person to truly advocate for her, begging his father to include Penelope in music lessons, teaching her guitar and piano. She loved playing and singing with Edmund and the family.

Shortly after her 11^th birthday, Colin was the first boy she’d ever held. His father died suddenly, and Penelope spent the entire day trying to console Eloise. That evening, as she left to go home, she saw Colin standing outside his house. She walked to him as he reached out to her. She wrapped her small arms around his much bigger form, and he cried into her hair and shoulder. She held on tight for more than 30 minutes until he released her and thanked her.

On her 12^th birthday, Colin gave her a first hope for a romantic future. He’d given her one of his guitars as a present and started setting regular times to play and sing together. When he suggested that someday they could be a famous duo, Penelope imagined them as a real couple.

Near her 13^th birthday, Colin was the first boy to hold her in his arms. The day her father died unexpectedly and under suspicious circumstances, Penelope ran to the Bridgerton house and Eloise stayed by her side. As she left to go home, Colin was waiting for her outside. Without saying a word, he gathered her to him and held her while she cried.

Around her 14^th birthday, Colin was the first boy to break her heart. She was walking through the Bridgerton back garden with Eloise and spied Colin snogging a tall, beautiful blonde girl, dashing her hopes for a romantic future.

On her 15^th birthday, Colin spun her for her first dance. The Bridgertons invited her to the Hearts and Flowers ball at the country club. Violet took her shopping along with her daughters and got them all new dresses. Her new lavender dress had a tight bodice, a vee neck that highlighted her decolletage but covered her already ample breasts, and a straight skirt that ended just above her knees. She’d never felt so feminine and attractive without a citrus color in sight. She was standing along the wall with Eloise, who had no interest in dancing, when Colin appeared, taking her hand and leading her on the dance floor. They danced for nearly an hour straight, holding close for the slow dances and letting loose with the faster ones.

On her 16^th birthday, Colin bestowed her first kiss. Since Penelope and Eloise were born just four days apart (April 12 and 16), and since Penelope’s mother and sisters did nothing to acknowledge her birthday other than a bland “Happy birthday” mentioned when they remembered, the Bridgertons always celebrated Penelope along with Eloise. Benedict had spiked the lemonade with vodka and Penelope had imbibed enough to loosen her inhibitions, but not enough to feel drunk. When Penelope stepped outside towards the end of the party and saw Colin standing alone in the moonlight, she had the courage to ask him for a kiss. “It doesn’t have to mean anything. I just don’t want to be sixteen and never been kissed. I trust you more than any boy in the world.” Colin had cupped her face and kissed her gently, urging her to kiss back. It was glorious. She was sure to thank him.

For her 17^th birthday, Colin gave her a first snogging session. At the end of the shared party with Eloise, Penelope once again stepped outside to find Colin waiting. He told her it was time for her traditional birthday kiss (news to her). This time, he led her under the willow tree and the kiss went on and on for several minutes, Colin’s hands roaming to all but the forbidden places.

For her 18^th birthday, Colin gave her a first orgasm. She and Eloise had enjoyed their first legal fruity cocktails and Penelope was just a little tipsy. When she met Colin outside under the willow tree for their traditional birthday kiss, she boldly asked him to be her first - to have sex with her. She reasoned that she did not want to start university as a virgin, and she trusted him more than any man. He politely and sweetly turned her down, but before she could drown herself in embarrassment and self-loathing, he took her face into his hands, looked deep into her eyes and told her that she was breathtakingly beautiful. “It’s not that I don’t want to make love to you. It’s not that you are not desirable. It just wouldn’t be right for me to take advantage of you that way. You mean too much to me.”

As Penelope began to pull away from him, he continued, “But I would love to make you feel amazing. Has anyone ever fingered or gone down on you?” Penelope continued looking at her feet as she shook her head no. Colin shrugged off his jacket and laid it on the grass, then helped her to the ground and pulled her to him, her breasts flattening against his chest as he began kissing her earnestly. He kissed her neck and down her chest as his hands kneaded her breasts over her dress. Her arousal was so potent, she had to squeeze her thighs together. He brought one hand under her skirt, skimming her thighs and nudging them apart until he pushed away the crotch of her knickers and slid his middle finger into her center. His thumb circled her clit and within minutes she was writhing in his arms, calling out his name as she reached her first orgasm.

For her 19^th birthday, Colin agreed to take her virginity. With just the slightest bit of liquid courage, Penelope once again asked Colin to have sex. She’d gone on a few dates during her first year of university, but none ended in anything more than a few sloppy kisses. To her surprise, Colin readily agreed, but wanted to make it special. He would take her to dinner the next night and then to a hotel where they could be alone and undisturbed. He would also use that time to give her a special gift.

Penelope fell a little more in love with Colin that night, thinking of how wonderful and special he always made her feel. They kissed passionately outside for several minutes before Colin released her, pulling her in for one more hug and kissing the top of her head before he walked back into the house. An hour later, Penelope was walking to the kitchen when she overheard a conversation between Colin and his university friends, Bernie Fife and Robert Cho.

“Snogging the birthday girl, Col,” Cho teased. “She looks like a little bundle of fun.”

“Are you dating her?”, asked Fife. “If not, I’d like a tumble with her and her huge rack.”

“Shut up, both of you. Don’t talk about her like that. She’s my little sister’s friend. I wouldn’t date her, not in your wildest dreams. Don’t bother with her.”

Penelope slapped her hands over her mouth to keep from gasping aloud. She tiptoed away, took a few deep breaths, and choked back tears. A few minutes later, she entered the kitchen after seeing Cho and Fife walk out. “Colin,” she called in a slightly wobbly voice. “I’ve changed my mind about tomorrow. You’re right, I should save myself for a boyfriend who wants to date me.” Colin looked dejected, but said he understood and would still like some time alone to give her his gift.

“I’m busy now. Maybe later.” Penelope could not look at him. She walked away and found Eloise.

Penelope ghosted Colin for the next several weeks. He kept texting her that he missed her and needed to give her his birthday gift. She eventually blocked him and told Eloise she needed a break from him. Eloise was more than happy to keep her brother separated from her best friend.

Two months later, Penelope feigned illness to avoid attending Colin’s graduation/bon voyage party. She knew he was planning to leave for his travels the next day, so by avoiding the party, she could guarantee they would not be able to see each other for several more months. It was the only way to get over him.

Around 1:00 am, she was startled awake in her room by Colin’s hand over her mouth. Penelope popped up from her bed, pushing his hand away. “Colin,” she whisper-yelled. “What are you doing here? How did you get into my room?” She wrapped her arms around her torso and refused to look at him.

“Please, Pen. I needed to see you before I leave. We’ve never gone more than two days without some sort of communication and your silence and avoidance is driving me insane. I came to your dormitory, but Eloise wouldn’t let me in. I’ve tried everything and tried to give you space, thinking I’d see you at the party, but you didn’t show up. Why? I miss my best friend. I need you in my life. What happened? What did I do? If you were embarrassed about asking me to have sex with you, don’t be. I was flattered and I understood why you didn’t want to go through with it.”

Penelope finally looked up at him. He had bags under his eyes, his eyes were red, his hair was tousled, and he still looked handsome as ever. She took a deep breath. “I didn’t want to go through with it with you. Not ever. Not in your wildest dreams. Now, get the fuck out of here before I scream and wake the whole house.”

Colin stopped breathing for a moment and just stared at Penelope, thoroughly confused and absolutely devastated. Penelope couldn’t help but notice his eyes filling will unshed tears. In a watery voice, he whispered, “I will go. I don’t know what I did, but whatever it was I could not possibly have meant to hurt or offend you. You’re my favorite person in the entire world. You are home to me. Wherever you are is home.” Colin turned towards the door.

Was it fair to throw away years of friendship just because he said he didn’t want to date her, when he never showed an interest in her that way? Sure, the way he said it was deplorable, but she never even gave him a chance to at least take responsibility and apologize. Penelope leapt from her bed and grabbed his hand. “Don’t go yet. You were my favorite person in the entire world, too.” In an instant, Colin had wrapped himself around Penelope. Her head buried in his chest, she finally explained. “I overheard what you said to Fife and Cho the night of my birthday party. You said I was just your little sister’s friend and that you would never consider dating me, not in their wildest dreams and said they shouldn’t either. I couldn’t believe you’d be so cruel.”

Penelope felt him gasp before he tightened his embrace. “Oh, Pen. I’m sorry you heard that. No wonder you’ve been so angry with me.” He moved his hands to her shoulders and knelt down in front of her, looking directly into her eyes. “They saw us kissing. I know them. I didn’t want to give them the impression that we were dating because I didn’t want them to spread rumors that might make it hard for you to meet someone nice if that is what you want. But they are not respectful to women and I didn’t want them to be thinking of you that way. They are not worthy of you. You deserve so much better.”

Colin leaned away and sat on the floor, his head to his knees. “Fuck, I can only imagine how horrible this was for you. Here you had offered me the honor of sharing the most precious experience with you. You trusted me. And then you heard me disparaging you, making you think I don’t care about you or don’t see you as worthy of dating anyone, not just me.” He looked up and took her hands in his, rising again to his knees. “But Pen, it’s just the opposite. I am in awe of you. You are so beautiful and talented and witty and smart. You are everything. I’m about to leave for at least a year and I have no idea what is ahead for me. You deserve better than anything I can give.”

Penelope brought his hands to her lips and kissed them. “You are a dream, Colin. You are enough. You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met. You see me. You actually listen to me. You’re the most important person in my world, Colin. If you repeat that to El, I’ll deny it, but it’s true.”

Colin stood, both hands still in hers. “Come with me, Pen. I still want to give you your birthday present. You never have to talk to me again, but out of respect for our long friendship, please come outside with me.”

Penelope looked down at herself, just realizing that she is clad only in sleep shorts and a camisole top with no bra. She grabbed a zip-up hoodie draped over her desk chair, pulled on her tennis shoes, and gestured to the door.

Colin lead her through the back passages of Penelope’s house and out the back door. As they stepped outside, Penelope took in the balmy night, the lovely scent of flowers and fresh cut grass, and the milky glow from the full moon making everything appear in sepia tones.

Hand-in-hand, they crossed the square, opened the fence to the Bridgerton’s back garden, and finally stopped at the gazebo deep into the property. Penelope gasped at the scene in front of her. A colorful blanket covered the floor, with several pillows strewn around. A few candles flickered in the light wind, providing a soft glow. Colin’s guitar was propped up against the wall.

“Sit down, get comfortable.” Colin gestured to the cushions and helped Penelope settle in. He picked up his guitar. “I’ve been working on this song since the night of your 16^th birthday party. Our first kiss opened something in me. Music and lyrics spilled out, but none were good enough. I wanted to play this for you on your birthday. My gift is my song, Pen. This one’s for you.”

Penelope’s heart was beating out of her chest. This must be a dream.

Colin began playing the most beautiful melody, romantic and hopeful, sweet and lively and smooth.

Her fiery hair lights up the sky,
Every sunset feels like her goodbye.
Amber flames and golden hues,
Painting a world I see her through.

Oh, the distance fades, it’s just a word,
Every moment, her voice is heard.

She’s my home, wherever she may be,
Her bright blue eyes, like the endless sea.
In yellow dresses, she shines like the sun,
No matter how far, she’s the only one.
She’s my home, she’s my home.

Penelope
Is home to me.

Her laughter warms the coldest night,
Her presence turns wrong into right.
Though oceans may stretch and miles divide,
Her heart’s the place where I reside.

Oh, the miles fade with every call,
Through her, I’ve found my all in all.

She’s my home, wherever she may be,
Her bright blue eyes, like the endless sea.
In yellow dresses, she shines like the sun,
No matter how far, she’s the only one.
She’s my home, she’s my home.

Penelope is home to me.

When I’m lost, her words bring me back,
She’s the light that cuts through the black.
Every text, every post, every sound,
She’s the one who keeps me bound.

She’s my home, wherever she may be,
Her fiery glow sets my spirit free.
In yellow dresses, she shines like the sun,
No matter how far, she’s the only one.
She’s my home, she’s my home.

Penelope is home to me.

Wherever she is, that’s where I’ll stay,
She’s my forever, my night, my day.
She’s my home, she’s my home.

Penelope is home to me.

Tears were streaming down Penelope’s face. “That is the most beautiful song I’ve ever heard. Nobody has ever done anything as special as this, Colin. I have no words.”

Colin blew out a nervous breath before his face split into a smile. Penelope moved over to him and helped him untangle himself from his guitar strap, leaning the instrument against the wall. “No words,” she repeated as she cupped his cheek and pressed her lips to his.

Penelope thought the birthday kiss two months ago was as heated and passionate a kiss could get, but she was wrong. So wrong. They were devouring each other. It was like they were the last two people on earth and they needed to kiss to stay alive. Their tongues laved each other, she sucked his lower lip into her mouth, he nibbled her upper lip and then smoothed it with his tongue.Their hands roamed, touching everywhere. He kneaded her breasts over her clothing, feeling her nipples pebbling through the fabric of her hoodie. He broke away a moment to look into her eyes as his hand hovered over the zipper. She nodded and he slowly dragged down the zipper and opened the hoodie. She needed his hands on her skin, so she wriggled out of the hoodie and pulled down the straps of her top, her creamy breasts spilling out into his hands. He leaned back a moment, a look of wonder on his face as he groaned. “You are stunning. You’re more glorious than I had ever imagined.” He cupped both breasts from underneath and lifted them to his mouth. He kissed all over, leaving her nipples for last. He brushed both at the same time with his thumbs, eliciting a moan from Penelope. He pinched one nipple as he licked and sucked the other, continuing these ministrations for a minute or two before switching sides.

Penelope’s center was absolutely throbbing. She rubbed her crotch along his jean-clad thigh and could see her wetness seeping onto him. Colin pulled back from her breasts and slid his hand down to her hips, over her thighs, stopping just before her center. He looked into her eyes, his denim blue eyes nearly all black with desire. “May I?”

Penelope nodded. “Please.” Colin smiled. “Well since you’ve been so polite…” His fingers found their way under her sleep shorts. He ran his fingers through her folds as she ground into his hand. His middle finger slipped inside her and she melted into him. He began rubbing circles on her pearl with his thumb, drawing out a deep moan. “More. I need more.”

She reached down to push her shorts and underwear away. He pushed her hand away and slowly pulled them down, kissing her thighs and knee and ankles along the way. He tossed the garments to the side and kissed his way back up, sliding one, then two fingers inside her core as he began to press a kiss to that bundle of nerves.

She immediately grabbed his head and guided his mouth back to hers. He resumed the circles on her clit with his thumb and she felt herself start to squeeze around his fingers. He curled them to graze that spongy area. She swore she saw stars, and not just the ones in the sky. Her mind blanked as she called out his name. She felt the gush of her arousal around his hand. She’d never come so hard. Not that she had much practice, but that was impressive.

Colin kissed her lightly. “I swear I didn’t bring you here for that. Not that I’m complaining.” He smirked as he brushed her hair across her forehead.

“So, is this our new tradition? A kiss and Colin Fingerton on my birthday? Assuming this is an extension of my birthday since the song was my present.” Her eyebrows raised in question and they both burst out laughing.

“For as many years as you’d like.” Colin leaned in for a kiss. Pen could feel his erection against her thigh and moved her leg against it.

“Um, Colin? Would you still be willing to be my first? I know you’d planned a hotel room and everything, but you’re leaving tomorrow. There’s no one else I’d want to share this with but you.”

Colin’s eyes went wide before searching her face. “Are you sure, Pen? Are you sure you don’t want to wait until you fall deeply in love with someone you’ve been dating?”

“Was your first time with someone you were deeply in love with, Colin? Was she incredibly special to you? Is she still in your life?” Colin shook his head, no. She smiled, “Nobody means more to me than you.”

Colin didn’t waste another second. He pulled her into a steamy kiss and leaned away to pull his shirt over his head. Penelope had seen him shirtless many times, but she had never before traced the outline of his abs or run her fingers through the perfect sprinkling of hair on his chest. She started unbuttoning his jeans, but he pulled away, removing them quickly along with his boxers.

Penelope’s eyes went wide. Even his cock was perfect, but there is no way it would fit. “Um, Colin, maybe I’m too small for you.” He smiled. “Don’t worry, you’re the perfect size for me.”

They kissed and explored each other’s body, working themselves into a frenzy. Penelope was still drenched from her previous orgasm. He moved one, then two, then three fingers, preparing her for what was to come. He pulled a packet from his jeans, opened it, and sheathed himself in a condom.

He kissed her soundly and, foreheads touching, looked into her eyes. “Are you sure, Pen? It’s not too late to stop.”

“Don’t you dare stop.”

“This might hurt a little. I’m sorry for that.”

“I’m ready, Col.”

Without breaking eye contact, Colin lined himself up and slowly, very slowly, entered her. He had to push through the proof of her virginity, and she inhaled sharply. She was sure she saw his eyes fill for a moment. They stayed still as she got used to the sensation, then felt the urge to move.

“Are you okay, Pen?” Penelope moaned and started moving her hips. Colin moved slowly in and out, then met the rhythm that Penelope seemed to be setting.

Penelope moaned with pleasure. “This feels amazing. Does it feel good to you?”

Colin groaned, “You’re so tight. We fit perfectly together. It’s incredible. You’re incredible.” He kissed her, then began rubbing her clit.

“Colin! I think I’m gonna come.”

“Let go, sweetheart. Come for me, Pen.” He pulled her nipple into his mouth and that was it. Penelope felt like she was temporarily blinded by white light as her walls clenched over and over again around his cock. Nothing ever felt so good. Well, not until a moment later when she felt him swell inside her and she watched Colin’s face as he came apart. The fact that she gave him such intense pleasure made her feel powerful, wonderful, special.

“Are you okay, Pen? Was it alright?” He looked so serious, so caring. “It was perfect. Can we do it again?” He laughed. “Give me five minutes. Maybe ten.” They kissed for eight or so minutes and enjoyed round two.

He collapsed on top of her and immediately rolled them over to cuddle her close. “Thank you,” he whispered as he kissed her cheeks and neck. “Thank you for giving me the honor of being with you like this, especially your first time.”

“Thank you for making this so memorable and special. I’ll never forget how you made me feel, not just the physical pleasure but the closeness, the intimacy that I could only have with you.” She kissed him again and sighed. “It’s a good thing you’re leaving tomorrow, because I’m going to need some time to stop wanting to rip your clothes off and have my way with you.”

Colin laughed and pulled her even closer. “I’d say you can strip me any time, but you deserve a lot more than friends with benefits. That’s all I can offer you now – not even that, really, since I’ll be away for a long time - and it’s not nearly enough. I don’t know where my life is going. I would not pull anyone into a romantic relationship right now.”

Penelope squeezed his cheeks between her forefinger and thumb and turned him to her. “I know. We’re friends. That is enough.” They stayed in each other’s arms for several minutes until Penelope stifled a yawn.

“Let’s get you home, my Pen.” He helped her up and they dressed side-by-side. He insisted on walking her home. As they reached the back door they’d snuck out of, he pulled her into a warm embrace, bending down until his mouth was near her ear.

“I love you, Pen. Never forget that. Never forget me.” She angled her face to his ear. “I love you, Colin. Promise you’ll text or call or write to me as often as you can.”

“I promise.” He took a step back and leaned down for a sweet kiss. “Goodbye, Pen.” She gave him a teary smile and walked into the house.

*

She’d written many poems about that night. The first time Colin was in a recording studio, he recorded that song for her. She listened to it whenever she felt lonely. Looking at her journal, she reminded herself that she’d never shared any of her poetry with him.

She had shared her short stories and even rough outlines of a couple of novels. It was her dream to be a published author. She’d written short stories of regency romances intended for a mature audience and a few mysteries intended for teenagers. She readily shared those with Colin and Eloise and most of the Bridgerton women. But the poetry was too personal.

She was contemplating another verse for the poem about the ghost of the kiss when her phone buzzed with a message from the owner of those lips.

Colin: At the coffee shop. Iced or hot?

Pen: Iced, please. It is February, you know. 🏝️

Colin: Okay, Frosty. Be there in 10.

Her LA adventure was about to begin and she was ready for anything.

Chapter Text

Colin POV

A few minutes before 8:00 am, Colin arrived at the Santa Monica house with an iced mocha latte with almond milk for Pen and an iced caramel macchiato for himself along with cinnamon rolls to share. 

He set them on the table and she gave him a sloppy kiss on his cheek. “Have I told you lately that I love you? You always remember what I like and how I like it.” As soon as the words left her mouth, she realized the innuendo.

Colin winked at her. “Yeah I do. I know just how you like it.”

Penelope’s blush reached all the way down her neck and disappeared into the boatneck edge of her shirt. “Get over yourself,” she quipped. “Thanks for bringing breakfast. Technically, it’s my second breakfast – the jet lag is fierce, and I had some tea and yogurt a couple hours ago.”

“See, I should have stayed with you so that I could have gotten you something.” His mind wandered to the dream where he definitely gave her something! “We could have shared first and second breakfast. You know I’m always up for extra meals.” She laughed at the smirk on his face. “Oh, I know. You’ve never met a meal you didn’t want.”

“So, tell me about this author. You haven’t gotten into many details about what you’re doing here.”

Penelope sighed, a slight scowl on her face. “Do you know Charlotte Royal?”

“I thought that was a dessert that they feature on Bake-Off.” They both laughed. “Yeah, I know who you mean. She writes romance novels, right?”

“She’s a legend. She’s written dozens of romance novels and lighthearted mysteries. A couple of her romance novels have been made into movies on streaming services and one of her mystery collections was the inspiration for a series on the Hallmark channel.”

“And you’re editing her books? Wow, Pen, they must have a lot of confidence in you. Way to go!” He held his hand up for a high-five, but she swatted it away.

“Not exactly. She is on contract to write a series of three books. She pitched it three years ago and Agatha – you remember Agatha Danbury?”

Colin scoffed. “My mother’s oldest friend? Yes, Penelope Featherington, I remember Agatha Danbury, president and CEO of Danbury Publishing.”

“Noted.” She stuck her tongue at him. “Agatha is fed up with her. Charlotte hasn’t provided a single sentence for even the first book. It’s so far behind schedule – I’m talking years, not months - that Agatha suggested Charlotte bring on a co-author to help write the book. A lot of prolific authors do that. Charlotte would be the lead writer and producer, and the co-author would do a lot of the writing. Charlotte is open to having someone brainstorm with her and that could lead to co-authoring. But she wants someone completely unknown, someone who has never published. So my boss, Ted Twombley, recommended me.”

“But you’ve published. You’ve had a short story published from the Oxford University Press competition. It was brilliant.”

Penelope was chuffed that Colin remembered. “Yes, but not many people would have read that. I haven’t published to a wide audience. I met with Charlotte a couple of times virtually and she agreed to work with me under the condition that I meet with her in person according to her own schedule.” She placed her hand on Colin’s forearm. “Colin, if she agrees to let me co-author with her, my name would be on the cover and I’d get recognition as a published writer. It would be in a much smaller font on the cover, but still…”

Colin covered her hand with his. “That’s fantastic, Pen. Of course she’ll love working with you. Who could resist?”

Penelope laughed. “Plenty of people, Col. You’re biased. She’s a bit eccentric, but I’m looking forward to meeting her in person tomorrow.”

Colin tapped her hand on his arm. “Well then, let’s get you settled in. We’ll go to the grocery store and swing by Ms. Royal’s house so that you can visualize it and figure out the walk. I can walk with you if you want – I know you like to be fully prepared.”

Instagram Post

featherpenwrites

[picture: Colin in the cereal aisle holding an armload of different cereal boxes]

51 likes

featherpenwrites First time in an American grocery store and I am gobsmacked at the sheer number of varieties and brands of cereal. How is this even possible? #LuckyCharms #ReesesPuffs #FrootLoops #gonna_try_em_all

colinsings One taste of peanut butter chocolate goodness that is Reeses Puffs and you will want to become a permanent resident. Better share with your bestie.

elu-wheeze That’s right, you better share with me. Awaiting care package, bestie!

simon-sez That stuff will kill you, that’s why it’s banned in the UK. Buyer beware.

benpaints @simon-sez Killjoy. @featherpenwrites Stock up on your favorites for when Soph and I visit!

gregthegreat @benpaints Take me with you!

benpaints @gregthegreat Not a chance.

After a trip to the grocery store and Target, Pen had all she needed for a while. They put away the purchases and made sandwiches and salad for lunch before Colin had to leave to get ready for work.

“Are you sure you don’t want to come with me now? You can hang out at my flat while I get ready and we can walk over to the club.”

“As wonderful as that sounds, I don’t think I could get through this day without a nap. I’ll take an Uber to the club later. Don’t worry – I won’t miss your set.”

Colin smiled. “I know you wouldn’t, but...”

“More importantly, I don’t want to miss Michael.” Colin scowled. Giggling, Penelope continued, “He is a famous actor and oh, so swoonworthy.”

“He’s a soap opera star.”

“And your point is?” Colin’s scowl grew more intense. “I’m teasing you, Col. I can’t wait to see you on stage. It’s been a very long time since I’ve seen you perform live.”

*

Colin looked at the door to the club for the millionth time in the last 10 minutes as he manipulated the sound board. He was not expecting Penelope for another 15 minutes or so, but he’s anxious. A part of him comes alive when she’s around. He feels more like himself than any other time.

“Hey, lover.” A tall, slim, beautiful blonde woman slipped her arm around his waist. “Can’t wait for your set. Play me my song?”

Colin pulled away from her and gave her a stern look. “Hey Cressida. I’m playing the same set as last time. I wasn’t aware you had a song.”

“You know the song. You Look Perfect – you sang it to me after the first time we made love.” She sidled up to him again.

He sidestepped. “I probably sang that song, but it wasn’t directed specifically to anyone. It’s just a song, and it’s a cover. I didn’t write it.” 

Cressida leaned in, her lips almost touching his ear. “You didn’t write it, but you sure do make it your own. Nobody sings it like you do. You make it so much better. You make it sound like it’s for me, for your girl.”

He pulls away again. “That’s flattering, Cressida. I appreciate you as a fan. But I need to remind you that we are not together. That one night was nice and all, but it won’t be repeated. I’m sorry if I caused you any confusion or took advantage of you somehow, but I had told you it would be a one-time thing and you said you were fine with that.”

He looked towards the door and his heart skipped a beat. Or two. Penelope walked in wearing a little black dress that hugged her curves in all the right places. Black strappy sandals gave her a few inches more height and accentuated her thick, shapely legs. Her hair was down in soft curls, the front pulled back with an onyx comb. A light layer of makeup gave her a smoky eye that made her crystal blue eyes glow. He nearly drooled at the sight of her red lips, imagining the marks they’d leave across his body, branding him as hers.

She was looking around the club and had not yet spotted him. Just as their eyes were about to meet, a tall, dark, extraordinarily handsome man swooped her into his arms. Michael.

Cressida was standing beside Colin trying to determine where his attention had gone. “Who’s the red fire plug? Wait, is that Alastair Kincaid from Days of Our Lives?”

Colin didn’t answer her. He moved quickly towards the door. “You made it.” He smiled at his friends. Michael shot his hand out for a quick handshake, his left arm wrapped around Penelope. Colin kissed Penelope’s cheek and took her left hand.

“Thanks for coming. I have a table reserved for you in front of the stage.” He led them both to the small, hightop table with a Reserved sign and gestured to a waitress to come over. “Did you have a good nap, Pen? You look gorgeous.”

Penelope blushed. “I did, thanks. This place is really nice. It’s packed!” She tried to climb up to the hightop chair, but was having a hard time managing it gracefully. Colin smiled at her before lifting her up and setting her down on the seat.

“Thanks, mate. That wasn’t embarrassing at all.” She smacked his arm. “Now I don’t know how to get myself down and back up again.”  Colin and Michael laughed.

Michael touched her arm, “I’ve got you, Penelope. I can help you up, help you down, carry you to the restroom. I’m a full-service mate.” Penelope laughed and Colin scoffed with a hint of jealousy.

A gorgeous couple approached Colin. “Fifteen minutes, CJ.” The tall, fit, woman with flawless skin the color of dark caramel gave him a hug.

“Thanks, Alice. You’ve met Michael. This is my favorite woman in the whole world, Penelope. Pen, this is Alice and Will Mondrich. They own Whistledown’s.”

Alice clutched her hands to her chest. “I thought I was your favorite woman!”

Will Mondrich was a mountain of a man, with dark chocolate skin and a bald head and the biggest, warmest smile. “You’re my favorite woman.” He kissed his wife. “Penelope, CJ talks about you all the time. I’ve heard only nice things about you. Welcome to LA.” He shook Penelope’s hand.

“I’ve got to get ready for my set.” He gestured to the waitress, “This is Meg. Order whatever you want. Drinks are on me.”

Fifteen minutes later, Alice introduced the band. “Ladies and gentleman, put your hands together for the Whistledown Café’s own CJ Bridges!”

Colin walked on stage with his guitar wearing tight black jeans, Doc Martens, a chunky black leather belt, and a black leather sleeveless button-down vest with no shirt underneath. A bass guitarist and drummer, both named Luke, joined him on stage. “Thank you. We have a special set tonight. Two of my favorite people are here.” He looked squarely at Penelope, then cocked his head to the band and started playing.

He played non-stop for more than 45 minutes, performing a variety of songs – pop, rock, country, ballads. When he sang, he was transported to another realm. He felt every note and emoted every phrase. Tonight, his performance sparkled knowing that Penelope was right there. When he sang You are Perfect, he looked directly at her. Every word was for her. At one point, he unbuttoned the vest, showing off his rock-hard abs and broad chest. He often did it to expand his female fan base, but he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t trying to remind Pen of the one night her hands explored his bare chest.

“We’re going to take short break and we’ll be back for one more set.” The audience cheered. “You are the best!”

Colin walked backstage and traded the leather vest for a black t-shirt after cleaning himself up a bit. The lights were so intense on the stage that it always got too hot.

He made his way to Penelope and Michael’s table, thanking fans and allowing them to take selfies with him.

He locked eyes with Penelope. Her blue eyes were almost black. “Where’s your vest?” Colin laughed. “Um, it’s backstage. I’ll wear it again for the second set.”

“You were fantastic, Colin. You transformed those songs into something new and different. I have no words.”

I have no words.

Colin remembered her saying exactly that the night he played the song he wrote for her…the night he made love to her…the best night of his entire 26 years of life.

They were silent a moment, lost in each other’s eyes when Michael broke the spell. “That was brilliant, Bridgerto…er…Bridges.” Michael slapped him on the back and put his arm around Penelope. “What a great night! I get to catch up with my best girl,” he kisses Penelope’s cheek, “and watch you kill it up there. That might be the best set I’ve ever seen you do.”

The three friends continue to talk about the performance until they were interrupted by attractive women and a few men wanting to have their photo taken with either Colin (CJ) or Michael (or his character, Alistair Kincaid).

Colin kept glancing at Penelope, seeing how she was hanging back and looking at her two friends with pride. He saw Cressida stand next to Penelope and saw the moment when Penelope’s face fell, the reverie gone.

Luke the drummer waved to Colin to indicate it was time to get started on the second set. Michael was at Penelope’s side, his arm around her shoulder, mouth close to her ear, engaged in conversation.

“I have to go backstage for the last set.”

Penelope lifted her head to him, her eyes looked tired. “Would you think I’m the worst best friend in the world if I don’t stay? Even with the nap, the jet lag is getting to me, and I have to meet Charlotte tomorrow morning.”

Colin tried to hide the disappointment from his face. He gave her a small smile. “Of course not, Pen. I’m just honored you were able to come at all being your first full day here. I’m sorry I can’t take you home, but I can…”

“I’ll take her back to her house, Col. I need to grab my car back anyway and I’ve got to be on set early tomorrow. Besides, I wouldn’t miss out on a chance to spend more time with our fair lady.” He kissed the top of Penelope’s head.

Drummer Luke waved again, more frantically. Colin pulled Penelope in a hug and whispered, “Thank you for being here. It meant the world to me.” He released her. “Text me tomorrow and let me know when you’re free to get together. I have rehearsal in the morning and a gig tomorrow night, but I’m not on until 10 so I can make you dinner, if you’d like.

“Gee, you never make me dinner,” Michael teased.

Penelope looked up at him. “I’ll text you. Good luck on your next set. You’ll be amazing!”

Colin watched his friends left and ran backstage. His second set was good, but not quite as charged as the first. He packed up his gear and looked at his phone, hoping for a text from Pen. He was not disappointed.

Pen: Just wanted to say goodnight, Colin. I’m still blown away by your performance. You were spectacular. Can I come to your gig tomorrow night?

Hell, yes!

Colin: Of course! You will always have a seat anywhere I play. It’s at a bigger venue with a proper backstage. I’d love to give you a backstage pass.

Colin: And Pen, any time you want to see me, the answer will always be yes.

Maybe the second text was a little much, he thinks. He was not expecting a reply just yet, since she’s probably sleeping. He noticed a string of texts from the siblings and spouses chat.

Alphabet Soup (Anthony, Kate, Benedict, Sophie, Colin, Daphne, Simon, Eloise, Francesca, Gregory, Hyacinth)

Hyacinth: Saw a clip from your show tonight, Colin. You were fantastic! Who is Cressida Bridges? Is there something you haven’t told us? Did you get married in Vegas when you were there last month?

Anthony: Colin got married? What the fuck, Colin!

Benedict: Hold on, Hy. Where are you getting this information? There is no way in the world that Colin got married in Vegas. Unless he was hammered and doesn’t remember. Do you remember getting married, Col?

Daphne: What’s going on? I agree with Ben – no way he got married.

Hyacinth: Look at this IG post. <link to Instagram post by @cressbridges, tagged to @cjbridgesuk>

Eloise: Hy, you know we’re not supposed to follow Colin’s official “CJ Bridges” IG. He’s still protecting his anonymity. Not that it really matters, but we promised.

Francesca: Wow, he was fantastic! What a powerful performance. I forget how talented he is sometimes. That was just beautiful.

Benedict: It was great. This woman is probably just one of his groupies. He’s never mentioned her. What’s up with this Col?

Eloise: They’re not called groupies, they’re called stans now. Get with the program.

Gregory: Is Penelope there?

Hyacinth: Cool it, Greg. WHAT’S THE STORY, COLIN!

 

Colin is thoroughly confused, but a bit chuffed at the compliments on his performance. Cressida – the mistake that keeps on giving. He followed the link.

Instagram Post

cressbridges

[video: clip of Colin singing You are Perfect]

 5,725 likes

cressbridges My man singing my song to me. #CJBridges @cjbridgesuk

hy-n-mighty Wow, CJ, you’re so good! Come back and play for us soon. We miss you.

bridgesfan You’re so lucky, Cressida. Kiss him once for me!

cjlove4582 I didn't know he was married. Lucky you, Cressida.

He ran his fingers through his hair. She is such a problem, but there isn’t much he can do about this except to block the tag from his official CJ Bridges account.

Colin: You really think I would get married in Vegas and not tell anyone? And no, there was never a time during my visit that I cannot remember.

Colin: Cressida is just a fan. And a one-night mistake. I blocked the tag and I’ll talk to her about this next time I see her.

Kate: Colin, you were incredible. I wish there had been a video of the whole performance.

Colin: Thanks. It was a good set. Pen and Michael were there, so I was feeling a bit inspired if I’m honest.

Colin: It’s late and I have rehearsal in the morning.

Eloise: Give Pen a hug from me when you see her.

Gregory: And from me, too. And if you’re not interested in Cressida, send her my number.

Colin laughed at his little brother’s text. Not in this lifetime will he sic Cressida on Gregory. Well, maybe if it seems Pen might reciprocate Greg’s crush. That made him laugh even harder.

He walked home remembering how good it felt to have Pen in the audience. Now that’s a groupie (stan?) he could get behind.

Chapter Text

Penelope POV

Once again, Penelope woke before the sun. She cuddled her pillow, thinking back to the day she spent with Colin and his fantastic performance. She would swear he was sometimes singing directly to her, the words meant for her. When he joined her during the intermission, she felt such a connection to him – everyone else seemed to fade away, just the two of them, a magnetic pull bringing them closer.

Michael broke their stares, but not the vibe. No, it was the tall, blonde woman who introduced herself as Cressida who burst that intimate bubble.

She hadn’t noticed that the woman was standing so close to her until Cressida touched her arm. “He was great tonight, wasn’t he?”

Penelope had smiled and nodded. “Yes, he is quite talented.”

“Do you know him? Are you here with Michael Stirling?”

“Co…CJ and Michael are old friends of mine.”

Cressida stepped back a little. “Friends.” She made no secret of checking Penelope out, her piercing gaze moving from her toes to the top of her head and back down again. “Friends. Of course you’re just friends.”

Penelope knew exactly what Cressida was not saying. You’re short and pudgy and not nearly pretty enough to be anything more than friends with either of those ridiculously talented, handsome men. Penelope started to put some distance between them.

“I’m Cressida, by the way. I’m also a friend of Colin’s. More than friends, if you catch my drift.” Penelope caught it all right. “You’re right. He’s so talented, especially when he sings my song, You are Perfect. He started singing it to me after the first time we made love. So special.”

Michael caught Penelope’s eye and must have noted the anguish on her face. As soon as he began walking towards her, Cressida moved away. “Nice meeting you, CJ’s friend.”

Michael put his arm around Penelope. “What was that about? Are you okay?”

The ding-dong there just put me in my place. “Just a reality check. I’m fine. The jet lag is getting to me.”

Michael squeezed her tighter. “Do you want to go home? I can take you.”

“I should stay for the last set. Colin will be disappointed if we leave.”

Michael shook his head. “Colin will be fine. He’s got plenty of fans here. You know he wouldn’t want you to stay if you’re tired. He’ll understand.”

Colin did understand. She and Michael talked the whole ride, catching up on their lives. He walked her to her door and made sure she got inside safely. She is so lucky to have thoughtful and caring friends.

She had gotten ready for bed, climbed under the covers and texted Colin. She knew he was performing and couldn’t answer right away.

Shaking herself back to the present, she grabbed her phone. Sure enough, there were texts from Colin.

Colin: Of course you can come to the show tomorrow! You will always have a seat anywhere I play. It’s at a bigger venue with a proper backstage. I’d love to give you a backstage pass.

Colin: And Pen, any time you want to see me, the answer will always be yes.

How can she help loving him?

Penelope: Good (early) morning, Colin. Backstage passes! How fancy. I’ll text you when I’m done with work.

Penelope noticed a string of texts from the Bridgerton ladies.

Soul Sisters (Daphne, Eloise, Francesca, Hyacinth, Penelope, Kate, Edwina, Sophie)

Hyacinth: Hey, Penelope. You and Michael looked cozy last night. Are you two an item? 🍆🍩

Eloise: FFS, Hy. They’re friends. Why do you have to make couples out of any two people who enjoy each other’s company? First Colin and Pen, now Michael and Pen. Knock it off. You’re delusional.

Francesca: I’d love to see Michael settle down with someone like Penelope.

Edwina: Thanks for feeding my delulu, Hy. I don’t know - Polin slides off the tongue better than Pichael or Mikelope.

Kate: Edwina Sharma! Don’t you start on this, too! Sorry, Penelope.

Daphne: Did I miss something here? What are we talking about?

Hyacinth: The Instagram post tagged with Michael’s official account has pics of Penelope and Michael from last night. <link to Instagram post by @DOOLSuperfans>

Daphne: Don’t you have anything better to do than scrolling Instagram and TikTok?

Sophie: They look like two friends at a club. Penelope – don’t even bother to look. It’s just a couple of pics of you and Michael at a club looking no different than you always do when you’re together. Don’t even look at it.

Eloise: Yeah, Pen. Don’t look at it. Hy needs to stop bringing more attention to these stupid posts.

Penelope couldn’t stop herself from looking at the post.

Instagram Post

DOOLSuperfans

[photos: 1. Penelope and Michael sitting, leaning across the small hightop table at the club between songs, looking at each other and smiling. 2. Michael standing with his arm around Penelope, whispering in her ear]

8,749 likes

DOOLSuperfans Another notch in his belt or is this love? @theMichaelStirling

caitlin34: They’re so cute together! Look at how they are looking at each other. That’s love. What’s her name?

madisonknowsbest: As an expert on body language, it’s definitely love.

mrs.stirling98: No way. Look at her. He’s tall, dark and handsome and she’s short, pasty and homely. And chunky. Must be a desperate fan he’s being nice to.

laurenkincaid: He’s no chubby chaser! Probably just a family friend.

hy-n-mighty: She’s beautiful. You people should be ashamed of yourself.

No wonder Daphne and Sophie warned her not to open it. It’s not the first time Penelope has been criticized like that in social media posts. It’s nothing new to her. All her life, she’s heard harsh words about her appearance. Her sisters were the worst – both have always been tall and slim. Even her mother constantly looked at her with disappointment, regularly suggesting new diets, pills, injections, even surgery to look “acceptable” by society (and her) standards.

But the Bridgertons, including Anthony’s wife Kate and her sister Edwina and Benedict’s wife Sophie, always hyped her up. They genuinely thought she was attractive, pointing out her hair and eyes and curves. They were all tall and slender themselves, so they could not relate, but they were always complimentary.

She wrote a quick reply, pushed away the covers, and headed for the shower.

Penelope: Hy is right. Michael and I are having a torrid affair. Good thing they didn’t get videos of the two of us having sex in the gender-neutral restroom. I’m already pregnant with his child – actually, I think it’s triplets. We’re planning a wedding at George Clooney’s place on Lake Como. Invitations to follow.

Penelope stood in front of the closet deciding what to wear. The sun was just coming up and it already looked to be a beautiful, clear day. She opened the door to the balcony and let the warm breeze envelope her. She decided on a periwinkle blue knee-length pencil skirt with a sleeveless white blouse and taupe wedge sandals with a blue and white floral cardigan to wear or to drape over her shoulders. She set the outfit on her bed and pulled on leggings and an oversized long-sleeved tee.

She walked to the coffee shop just after it opened, treating herself to an iced shortbread latte, and returned to the house to make herself breakfast. She was not expected at Charlotte Royal’s house until 9 am, so she still had a couple of hours to look over her notes.

Charlotte had pitched a trilogy featuring three sisters who grew up in Beverly Hills. Their father was killed and their mother lost their fortune and reputation in a Ponzi scheme and the sisters are expected to find rich husbands to keep up their lifestyle, while at the same time, they try to uncover the mystery of the potential link between the financial malpractice and their father’s murder. There were so many ways to go with their stories, and Penelope had outlined several options after her virtual meetings with Charlotte.

Penelope dressed carefully and pulled her hair into a neat bun with loose tendrils framing her face. She applied light makeup and put on the white turquoise necklace and earrings that Colin had sent to her for her birthday his first year in LA. That reminded her – she’d be in LA on her birthday, the first time she’d spend her birthday with Colin since he left nearly 5 years ago. What would the birthday tradition be now – a kiss? Mr. Fingerton? Sex? She squeezed her thighs together to quell the sudden ache at the memory.

It took only ten minutes to walk to the house. From the street, it was rather unassuming, especially compared to the stately houses where she grew up in Mayfair. The two-story home was white stucco with a rooftop deck over a portion of the first story. A wide overhead door with frosted glass panels provided entry to the three-car garage. The entrance to the house was nearly imperceptible, blending into the white walls, only a lantern-style light fixture hinting at the door.

Penelope took a cleansing breath and rang the doorbell. A moment later, a man in a black suit, white shirt, and black tie opened the door.

“Good morning. I’m Penelope Featherington, here to see Ms. Royal.”

The man gave a small smile as he looked her up and down. “Yes, Ms. Featherington. We were expecting you. Please come in and make yourself comfortable. Ms. Royal will join you in a moment. May I offer you some breakfast?”

“That is so kind of you, but I’ve already eaten.” The man nodded. “Wonderful. How about a beverage – coffee, tea, juice, water?

“Water would be lovely.” She started to ask his name, but he was not finished. “Sparkling or still? Infused? We have cucumber, lemon, or strawberry.”

Penelope paused a moment. “Just regular still water, thank you.” The man nodded. “What is your name, if you don’t mind?

“Brimsley. I am Ms. Royal’s personal assistant and butler. Since you are going to be here most mornings, I’d be happy to have breakfast and your favorite beverages and snacks ready for you. Let me know what you like.” Penelope thanked him. Brimsley led her through the house to a beautiful, spacious room and invited her to make herself comfortable.

The whole house (at least what she’d seen so far) had white walls and blonde wood plank flooring, with floor to ceiling windows on the side of the house facing the ocean. It was beyond gorgeous. This particular room had two walls of floor to ceiling shelving filled with books, with a white tile fireplace and an oversize abstract painting in black and white. One side of the room was open to a white stone open staircase. The glass wall beyond the staircase gave the appearance that the room was open to the back patio looking out at the ocean.  Overstuffed, yet sleek off-white chairs and sofas with black and gray pillows filled the room along with black wood tables of different sizes, some low to the ground, some as high as the armrests. Rows of books were broken up by ceramic figures in ebony, black marble, and stained black wood. Penelope perused the spines of the books noting that along with Charlotte’s own books were those by other romance writers and other modern writers.

Penelope sank into one of the sofas and soaked in the ambiance. She thought back to the library at Bridgerton House, her favorite room in the world, and its stark contrast with this one. This room was light where the old manse was intimate, relying on a chandelier and lamps placed around the room. The Bridgerton library was full of soft colors, walls covered with silky, pale blue wallpaper and stately furnishings upholstered in muted greens, blues, and champagne florals. Oil paintings of Bridgerton ancestors and the current family adorned the walls, along with two beautiful landscapes of Aubrey Hall, one summer, one winter, painted by Benedict.

Footsteps echoed through the space as Brimsley arrived with a crystal glass of water and a matching pitcher of water and ice. As he placed it on the side table next to Penelope, Charlotte Royal appeared behind Penelope. Penelope was surprised she hadn’t heard her approach.

Charlotte Royal seemed larger than life in video conferencing, but Penelope attributed it to the fact that for all of their meetings, Charlotte’s video was projected on a 92-inch monitor in the conference room. Somehow, she had an even larger presence in person.

She wore a billowy maxi dress with a colorful pattern that would have made Jackson Pollack proud, hiding her form, which could have been svelte or buxom. Her flawless skin was the color of milk chocolate, without a speck of makeup. While Penelope knew she was in her late 50s, she could pass for any age between 45 and 65. But none of this is what you notice first. The first things you notice when you meet Charlotte are her amber eyes. They were large and bright and seemed to glow like embers. The next thing you notice is her hair, mainly because it changes each time you see her. Penelope would love to see her collection of hair pieces. Today it was platinum blonde with seemingly hundreds of braids swept into a giant beehive shape at the top of her head. It was stunning. It took a moment for Penelope to notice the Pomeranian Charlotte was carrying in her arms.

“Nice of you to show up on time, Miss Featherington.”  Before Penelope could respond, she continued. “Forget the pleasantries, let’s get down to business, starting with the schedule.”

“Yes, ma’am. My time is completely flexible.”

“Of course it is. That is why you are here. I work best by myself. I like to spend the afternoons outdoors by myself or with friends and I like to write in my office in the evenings. That leaves the morning for us to do whatever you were sent to do.” She made a dismissive gesture with her hands.

“I’m here to brainstorm with you, edit what you write, write with you, write drafts for you, or whatever will help you make progress with the first book in the series. How may I…”

“You’re here to boost your career by feeding off my success.”

Penelope straightened her spine. “Ma’am, I’m here because Ms. Danbury asked me to help you. I had plenty of opportunity to ‘boost’ my career without having to relocate my life for three months.”

Charlotte smirked, her eyes brightening. “The kitten has claws. Now we’re getting somewhere.” She sat down in the chair closest to Penelope, resting the small dog on her lap and petting him.

“And don’t call me ma’am. I’m not an octogenarian. Charlotte is fine.”

“Thank you, Charlotte.” Penelope gestured to the dog. “And what is this cutie’s name?”

Charlotte’s smirk grew into a bright smile. “This is Reynolds, Rey for short. Isn’t he perfect?”

“He’s adorable. May I pet him?” Penelope reached her hand towards the small dog. Charlotte shifted him away from Penelope. “No. Get your own dog.”

“Okay, Charlotte. Have you made any changes to the short summary of the book you shared with me earlier this week?” Charlotte wordlessly glared at Penelope. “I’ll take that as a no. Can we talk about why? Is it writer’s block? Something else?”

Charlotte bristled. “What would you know about writer’s block. You’re a junior editor.”

“For now. But I am a writer myself. I dream of having a work published, but for now, I am learning through editing. And working with a legend like you.”

Charlotte perked up at the compliment. “What do you write?”

“I’m interested in writing Regency romances. I’ve written short stories and I’m working on a series of novels featuring a large, titled family in Mayfair.”

Charlotte narrowed her eyes. “Regency romances. Are you aiming for Charlotte Bronte or bodice-rippers?”

Penelope giggled. “Something in between. I want my stories to have deep character development and rich stories along with steamy sections that are more than vanilla, but not overly kinky or rough.”

Charlotte choked out a laugh. “So no BDSM, but spanking is permissible.” Penelope smiled genuinely for the first time since arriving. “Exactly.”

“Do you write any other genres?”

“I’ve written some short story mysteries in a similar style to yours – light, but intriguing sleuthing, heavy on the romance. I also write poetry, but I’ve not thought about publishing that.”

“You can always weave your poetry into your novel.” Penelope tilted her head. “Yes, I hadn’t considered that.”

Charlotte shifted in her chair. “Well, now that we’ve figured out your future, let’s focus on mine.”

Penelope leaned in. “Why don’t you start by telling me about the sisters. How old are they? What are their dreams? What scares them?”

Charlotte and Penelope discussed the book idea for the next three hours. Charlotte said she would work on the book later in the evening and Penelope encouraged her to reach out if she wanted to talk about it or needed help. Charlotte reminded her that it’s the weekend and she had no intention of working through it.

Penelope walked back to her house, changed into black jeans and the black Pink Floyd shirt that Colin had given her years ago, and made herself some lunch. Her conversation with Charlotte inspired her to work on her own novel.

*

At around 5 pm, she took an Uber to Colin’s flat in West Hollywood. He’d given her the key code, so she was able to walk right up to flat 4D. She knocked on the door and Colin opened it in an instant, pulling her into a hug. Tonight, he smelled like sandalwood with a hint of garlic and rosemary. Neither of them seemed to want to let go, and Penelope savored the connection.

“You’re here! I can’t believe you’re finally in my flat.” He took her hand and led her inside. “Me, too. What is that heavenly aroma?”

“Nothing very complicated. I’m roasting a chicken with rosemary, thyme, garlic and other herbs and some caramelized onions.”

“Garlic and onions. So kissing is off the table tonight,” Penelope joked, punching his arm lightly.

“I would think kissing is limited to your fiancé and father of your triplets.” Colin’s tone was lighthearted, but the tightness on his face suggested a hint of nerves.

“We agreed to an open marriage. You will be my man of honor, right?”  She felt Colin’s body stiffen.

“That’s me,” he quipped, “always the bridesmaid. Hyacinth shared your text with me. You and Michael did look rather, um, close.”

Penelope studied Colin’s navy eyes. Always beautiful, but not as bright, as if this joke with Michael was not funny to him. “Don’t be daft, Col. You know it’s not like that.”

Colin’s face brightened. “Sorry. I’m a little sensitive to marriage jokes at the moment.” Penelope was going to ask him what he meant by that, but he cupped her cheek and looked into eyes. “In that case, kissing is always on the table, sweetheart.” He winked and she swatted his hand away. “Besides, if both kissers eat onions and garlic, it cancels it out.”

“You are incorrigible, Colin Bridgerton.” Without missing a beat, he answered, “And that’s what you love about me.”

“That’s what I tolerate.” Penelope looked around the flat, walking around and admiring his collection of instruments and noticing the sound-absorbing material on the walls. “This is amazing, Col. It’s a veritable rehearsal studio.”

“It’s all I need for now. I wanted to be close to the music scene, and West LA is the place to be for that. There are less expensive places to live where I could afford more room, but this is convenient.”

“It suits you.” She shifted her attention to the framed items on the wall and surfaces. “Look at all these photos. You have your family all around you.”  Colin put his arm around her waist. “Everyone I love,” he said, pointing a photo that included her.

Penelope blushed. She loved it when he said things like that, no matter what type of love he meant. It made her feel like she belonged. She asked him to comment on each of the other framed items – all mementos of some of his performances.

“Dinner will be ready in 30 minutes or so. Come and play with me. It’s been ages. Do you still play the guitar I gave you for your birthday forever ago?”

Penelope laughed. “Twelve years does seem like forever ago. Yes, I still play. I didn’t play much when El and I shared a flat, but I play several times a week now that I have my own place.” Colin looked at her with a confused expression and Penelope knew exactly what he’d ask. “Col, you know I don’t like playing or singing in front of anyone.”

“Even El? Why, Pen? You used to play so well and you have an angelic voice.” She made a face. “I’m serious, Pen. You probably have a better chance of being a pop star than I do.” Penelope laughed. “Play with me, Pen. Please?” He made that face he knew she couldn’t resist.

“Fine. Just don’t expect anything great. Remember that you’ve been around professionals for the last several years.”

Colin selected an acoustical guitar for Penelope and sat down at the upright piano. “How about Rewrite the Stars?” Penelope thought about the first time they sang it, one Christmas break at Aubrey Hall, the Bridgerton’s country estate. They had both been obsessed with the movie, The Greatest Showman that fall. Colin had altered the tempo a bit to make it even more dramatic.

Penelope loved this song and could play it easily. Colin led them through some vocal exercises and gave her a few minutes to get used to his guitar. They easily fell right into the music, and Colin had the first verse and chorus. “You know I want you, it’s not a secret I try to hide. I know you want me, so don’t keep sayin’ our hands are tied.”

Penelope could hear how much stronger his voice had become since the last time they sang this song. She was so proud of him.

It was Penelope’s turn and she was feeling a little nervous until she saw Colin’s encouraging smile. She began, “You think it’s easy. You think I don’t want to run to you.”

Colin’s face lit up as she sang. “Your voice is brilliant,” he gushed as she was singing.

When they combined their voices for the third section of the song, it was magical. Their voices blended beautifully, lifting each other’s performance even higher. “All I want is to fly with you. All I want is to fall with you.”  They both exuded joy with their harmonization.

Penelope had the last verse, and she couldn’t keep out the emotion, as the words were so meaningful to her. “You know I want you, it's not a secret I try to hide. But I can't have you, we're bound to break and my hands are tied.”

The finished the song and sat in silence a moment. “Thank you, Pen. That meant so much to me.” Penelope put down the guitar and joined him on the bench, their thighs touching. “Me, too, Col.” He put his arm around her.

“You’re so good, Pen. It’s not just because you have a beautiful voice, it’s because you are a natural storyteller. Music is just another way to tell a story.”

Penelope bopped his shoulder with her head. “We’re both storytellers. The difference is that I don’t have to watch anyone read my stories and people don’t have to watch me write them.”

A timer went off in the kitchen. “Dinner is ready. I’m starving!” He swung his legs over the piano bench and helped Penelope up. He instructed her to take a stool at the kitchen island, already set for two, as he removed the chicken with roasted potatoes and carrots from the oven.

They enjoyed the meal, drinking only water, since Colin was abstaining from alcohol before his performance. They talked about their day – Colin’s excellent rehearsal and Penelope’s interesting first meeting. Colin laughed about the dog. He and Pen always wanted a dog, but something larger than a Pomeranian.

They cleaned up and Colin changed into his black jeans, white tank top and black vest for the concert. Penelope whistled at him and he blushed. Looking at their matching black jeans, he decided they needed a selfie. They used her phone and made dramatic faces. He pickup up his electric guitar case and led them out the door to the awaiting Uber.

In the car, he asked her to text the selfie to him and studied it. “We should send this to the family,” he suggested.

“I’ll do it. I’ll send it along with some video clips of your performance. Would you like me to take some for your social media pages?”

“If you don’t mind. My new agent isn’t as attentive as the one I had when I was with The Ton.” It was dark in the car, but Penelope was sure he was scowling at that. “I need to add to my YouTube channel. Most of my Instagram and TikTok posts are ones that fans tag. That can get messy.”

Penelope thought back to the fan post to Michael’s account. “Yes, suddenly I’m having a torrid affair with a television star and people want to tear me down.”

“And suddenly I’ve eloped with a mildly obsessed fan. It’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Did you look at the post with you and Michael?” She hesitated. “Yeah. The pics of us were actually nice, but the so-called body language expert was only half-right.”

“How so?”

“She was seeing love, but the friendly, ‘we think of each other like siblings’ variety.”

Colin laughed, then got serious. “I hope you ignored some of the other comments. People can be so horrible when they’re jealous.” Penelope stiffened. “I read a couple. Nothing I haven’t heard before.” Colin pulled her close and whispered, “Nothing that is remotely true. You’re beautiful, inside and out.”

They were comfortably silent the rest of the ride.  They arrived at the concert hall in time to hear the act before Colin’s. Penelope proudly wore her backstage credentials and enjoyed the concert, taking several photos and videos. It was even better than the previous night.

She marveled at his talent and his courage to perform and make himself vulnerable to praise and criticism. The next performer was the top billing artist and a handful of people in the audience rudely suggested Colin cut his set short, but it didn’t seem to faze him. Other fans were screaming his name and their adoration. She tried to imagine what it would be like to be on stage with him, performing as they had at his flat – thrilling and horrifying.

As Colin packed up, Penelope sent some of the videos to Colin so that he could post them and sent a few to the Clan Bridgerton chat group, including one video where a woman was screaming, “CJ Bridges, he’s a dreamboat!” Penelope thought it was both funny to hear and absolutely true.

As they exited the venue, Colin was surrounded by women wanting autographs, selfies, and dates. Colin was his charming self, but his attention was on Penelope. He wanted to escort her home, but she convinced him to take separate rideshares so he could get home at a decent hour. They’d be spending most of the weekend together and she couldn’t be happier about it.

They hugged as Penelope’s Uber was arriving and Colin kissed the top of her head. “Goodnight, beautiful.” Penelope’s heart swelled. “Goodnight, dreamboat.” Colin was still laughing as she drove off. She fell asleep to sweet dreams of singing.

Chapter Text

Colin POV

Colin woke up Saturday morning smiling, thinking of the previous night. He’d thoroughly enjoyed having Penelope in his flat and was elated to sing with her again. Their voices blended beautifully. Her diction was crystal clear while her vocal tone was slightly raspy, ethereal, and uniquely Penelope.

The concert was one of his best performances and the organizers noted it. Just knowing Penelope was there motivated him to another level. He just wished she would have let him escort her home, but of course she was thinking of his well-being. She’d texted him when she got home, but he still would have wanted to make sure the house was secure.

His phone pinged with a notification from the rental car company, letting him know the vehicle was ready for pickup. His mother had phoned him yesterday asking how everything was going with Penelope’s visit and when Colin told her about all the activities they had planned, she suggested she lease a car for him, something fun for this special time.

He saw a flurry of texts that had been sent hours ago in response to Penelope’s videos.

Clan Bridgerton (Anthony, Kate, Benedict, Sophie, Colin, Daphne, Simon, Eloise, Francesca, John, Gregory, Hyacinth, Violet, Penelope)

Benedict: Egads, Col. That’s some impressive artistry right there. Fantastic performances, brother!

Violet: That was so beautiful, Colin. Your rendition of Everglow brought me to tears. I’m so proud of you! Thank you, Penelope, for sharing.

Gregory: 🔥 Mr. Dreamboat. LMAO @Ben Egads? What century are you in?

Sophie: Amazing performance! Can’t wait to see you in LA soon.

Kate: Soooooo good!!! @Anthony – when are we going to LA to see Colin play?

Hyacinth: Take me, too! You were on fire, Col. Thanks, Penelope. Keep those vapid girls away from my brother.

Daphne: You know Col doesn’t sleep around with fans.

Anthony: We’re not going to LA. We have children and jobs.

Francesca: I can watch the children with Mama if you want to go for a couple of days.

Eloise: While I’m not familiar with all of the California laws, I don’t believe they ban children or employed individuals from visiting the state.

Hyacinth: I mean, Disneyland is right there. 👶 Kids are allowed.

Kate: Great idea, Hy! Let’s take the kids to Disneyland and see Colin perform.

Anthony: I said, no.

Gregory: 📣 The viscount has spoken.

Kate: We’ll talk about it later.

Gregory: 📢 The viscountess has spoken. Have fun in LA, Ant.

Penelope: He really was fantastic. The crowd was wild for him. Can’t wait to see Benny and Sophie and Ant and Kate in LA.

Colin: Thank you, family. It was a great night all around. See you in a little bit, Pen!

Colin quickly showered and dressed in khaki shorts and a navy polo and packed up two guitars and performance clothes. He was scheduled to play at the club at 11 tonight and was planning on going straight to the club after spending the day with Pen.

He took an Uber to the rental car lot and got an idea as he stowed away his gear. He stopped at a small boutique and at his favorite bakery and headed to Santa Monica.

He rang the doorbell and heard Penelope shout that the door was unlocked. He walked in, “You should keep that door locked, it’s not…” She was bent over, pulling something out of the over, her round derriere front and center. He shouldn’t have been staring, but, hey, she was basically presenting it. Get a grip, Col.

He left the guitars by the door and put the bag he was carrying by the dining table and hugged her from behind, kissing the side of her face. “Morning, Pen!”

Penelope put the baking dish down and turned to return his hug. “Hey, dreamboat.” Colin groaned and stepped back, taking in her appearance. She was wearing a sapphire blue sundress patterned with white and yellow flowers and gold flat sandals, her hair in a loose fishtail braid. The blue of the dress set off her gorgeous Aegean blue eyes. He had not suggested what to wear, but this was absolutely perfect.

“I made a quiche Lorraine. I was going to warn you not to eat, but then I remembered the endless pit that is your stomach.”

Colin blushed. “It smells fantastic. I brought croissants from Petitgrain Boulangerie. It’s like this kitchen is a little bit of Paris in Santa Monica.” They laughed as Penelope set the quiche on the table and Colin opened the bakery box.

They sat at the table and dug into the food. “So, Cruise Director Colin, what’s on the itinerary today or is it still a surprise?”

Colin relished the idea of a mystery adventure. He had not had many opportunities to do special things for Penelope. “It’s a surprise, but you’re dressed perfectly for it. You can choose the adventure tomorrow.” Penelope beamed at him and felt her smile radiate through him.  He gestured to the guitars by the door.

“I brought you the guitar you played yesterday so that you can play anytime you want.” She started to protest, but he interrupted. “I have several, Pen. I don’t need this one for a while.”

“Thanks, Col. I didn’t realize how much I’d miss my guitar.”

After they’d cleaned up from their meal, Colin reached under his chair to reveal the bag Penelope hadn’t seen. “Let’s get you ready to go. You’ll be needing these,” he handed her a pair of black look-alike Prada sunglasses. “Someday I’ll get you the real thing,” he said apologetically.

“And I would be too nervous to wear them. I’d keep them locked in a drawer and I’d wear the knock-offs anyway.” Colin shook his head. It was just like Penelope to make him feel extraordinary. She always accused him of being a charmer, but she constantly charmed him.

“You’ll probably want to wear this, too.” He pulled out a butter yellow silk scarf that perfectly matched the flowers on her dress. Penelope slid the silky fabric through her hands, wrapping it around her shoulders. “How did you know what I was planning to wear?”

Colin laughed. “I didn’t. It’s not for warmth. I was thinking of old Audrey Hepburn movies we used to watch and, well, come outside and you’ll understand.” He placed his hand at the small of her back and led her to the door. She hadn’t seen him drive up, so she was shocked to see a canary yellow Mustang convertible with the top down. “What’s this?”

“It’s a gift from mum.” Penelope gasped. “It’s just a rental. Mum wanted me to take you around in style while you’re here. I’ve been dying to drive one of these since I got here.”

“You’ve been dying to drive a yellow convertible?” Penelope had pushed the sunglasses down her nose and was looking at him over the top ridge.

Colin flashed his boyish smile. “Maybe not yellow, but it’s a great color and it reminds me of you and the day we met.”

“Ugh, the yellow clothing.” Colin’s smile began to falter. “I love it. This is perfect!”

Colin locked up the house and opened the passenger side door for Penelope. She slid in and wrapped the scarf around her hair in the Audrey Hepburn style. “How do I look?” She looked like a dream. “You look like a movie star. Ready to go?”

The weather was perfectly sunny and seasonably warm. Colin drove through the Santa Monica Mountains, a gorgeous drive through peaks and valleys with frequent views of ocean cliffs. “The car is for both of us. We just need to stop to rental office to add you as a driver.”

“No way. My boss offered me a rental car, but I don’t trust myself driving on the wrong side of the road. I hardly drive at home since I can walk to work and take the Tube almost anywhere.”

“Technically, it’s the right side of the road.” Penelope pinched his leg. “Hey, no assaulting the driver.”

They were on the road no more than 20 minutes before they pulled into the Santa Monica Pier. Penelope grabbed Colin’s arm. “Look at that Ferris wheel. I love Ferris wheels!” Colin heart skipped a beat. She was absolutely adorable with the big sunglasses, yellow head scarf, and gigantic smile, exuding pure delight. Colin could not be happier.

“That’s where we’re headed. I thought we’d ride the Ferris wheel and use the view from the top to decide where to go next. We can walk through the shops, take our shoes off and dip our toes in the ocean – whatever you’d like for the next couple of hours.” He was out of the car, opening her door and reached to help her out as she removed the scarf and placed it in her bag.

“What happens in a couple hours?”  She grabbed his arm with both hands.

“Our next stop. It’s a surprise, Pen. Just go with it.” She beamed at him as they walked toward the Ferris wheel.

“How many stops on this tour, Cruise Director Colin?”

He scoffed. “I’d prefer Captain Colin. I am steering this ship today.” She giggled. “We have a few more stops for today, although they’re technically in the same place.”

“Ugh, you’re just trying to vex me.”

“Okay, Kate.” He pulled her closer and kissed the top of her head. He loved that she was pint-sized. He could easily lean down and take in the rose and vanilla scent of her hair, feeling its softness as he planted a kiss, and she often didn’t know it was coming. “We will plan tomorrow together. I thought it would be helpful to see the options today. I have to be at the club around 10 tonight for my 11:00 set.” He saw Penelope start to frown. “Pen, don’t you dare tell me it’s too much for me. It’s not. After tonight, I don’t have a gig until Wednesday.”

Penelope mimicked zipping her lips.  They waited in line 15 minutes for the Ferris wheel, and it was well-worth the time. They took in the incredible views of the ocean, hills, and the city. They grazed through several shops, trying on hats, admiring unique crafts, munching on churros, and laughing at silly t-shirts. Penelope bought a refrigerator magnet of the Ferris wheel from shop inside a vintage Airstream travel trailer. They stopped at the Two Photos in One cart and had two photos taken and lenticular printed such that the photo shifts from one to the other depending on the viewing angle The first pic was of the two of them side by side with their arms around their waists looking at the camera and the second was of them looking at each other with huge smiles that reached their eyes.

Penelope took her sandals off and Colin removed his shoes and socks and they walked through the surf, hand-in-hand. The water was cold, but tolerable. Penelope jokingly ogled the bodybuilders lifting weights on Muscle Beach. Colin was not amused.

They reluctantly left the pier but promised each other they’d return another day. Back to the car, Colin drove them up and up the hills to Griffith Park. Halfway up the hill, Colin parked the car and walked them to the Greek Theater, a gorgeous outdoor music venue built like an ancient Greek amphitheater.

Colin led Penelope to sit in the upper portion of the outdoor theater. He wanted to share everything with her. “This is my dream venue. I would love to perform here under the stars. The acoustics are incredible. It’s otherworldly.” Penelope slid her arm behind his waist and snuggled into him. Colin loved how she fits perfectly tucked into him. “I wish that for you, Colin.” God, he loved this woman.

They walked around the theater for a while before Colin led Penelope back to the car. They continued to drive to the top of the hill. Penelope gasped as she took in the sight of the Griffith Observatory. She’d only ever seen it in movies, and it was more spectacular in person.

They perused the science and space exhibits before settling into the reclining seats of the planetarium show. After the show, they had a few more minutes before their reservation for a chance to use the telescopes to view the sun, moon, planets, and the night sky. It was fascinating.

It was around 7 pm when they left the observatory. Night had fallen and the sky was clear. They returned to the car and Colin surprised Penelope again by parking the car on Mount Hollywood Drive. They took a short walk to a spot that Colin hoped Penelope would recognize.

They rounded to an open space that provided a spectacular view of the city. The bench should have given it away. Colin put his hand on Penelope’s shoulder. “Do you know where we are?” Penelope looked like she recognized it but couldn’t place it.

Colin started singing. “The sun is nearly gone, the lights are turning on, a silver shine that stretches to the sea.” Penelope started jumping up and down. “La La Land!!” Colin continued singing, in perfect pitch, “We’ve stumbled on a view that’s tailor made for two, what a shame those two are you and me.” He continued walking her around the area and singing and was thrilled when she jumped right in at Emma Stone’s part, her voice powerful and gorgeous. They belted out the song together, not noticing the small crowd that was gathering. At the last line, they faced each other, looking into each other’s eyes. “What a waste of a lovely night.” Colin dipped his mouth towards hers and she lifted hers to his. Colin’s heart was racing. This was happening.

“Bravo!!” “Beautiful!” “You two are so cute!” “Your voices are perfect!” “Is this an act?” The small crowd that had gathered was applauding and praising the couple. Colin and Penelope immediately stepped back. Both were flushed pink as Colin took her hand and led her into a bow.

They were still laughing as headed back to the car. “Congratulations, Pen! That was your first public performance, and it was a smash.” Penelope blushed. “I didn’t know anyone was watching, so it didn’t count.” Colin took her hand and kissed the back of it. “You were fantastic. You’ve got a future!”

Looking at the time, Colin suggested they pick up some tacos from a place near her house and eat and relax before he needed to leave for the club. He reminded her that there was no need for her to stay out late and watch a third performance in as many days, but she insisted she wanted to be there and didn’t want to miss a single set.

As they ate their delicious tacos on her back porch, they talked about their favorite parts of the day and plans for the next day and evening. He pitched his idea. “Would you be up for a hike? We could go back to Griffith Park and walk to the Hollywood sign. There are shorter hikes that go to a great viewing point and there are longer hikes – around 5 miles – to get close to the sign. And maybe we can go to a movie?”

“That all sounds perfect, Col. Let’s stick with the shorter walk. I noticed a museum and a zoo in the park and maybe we could go to one of them.”

Colin’s phone beeped. Luke the bass player was confirming the call time. He noticed the battery level was low, probably because of the hundred or so photos he’d taken throughout the day. “Hey, Pen. My battery is dying. Do you mind if I borrow a charger?”

Penelope was picking up their dishes. “Of course. There’s an extra charger in my desk drawer in the office. Help yourself.”

Colin turned on the desk lamp and looked for the charger. His eyes landed on an open leather journal. He knew he shouldn’t look, but her neat handwriting and the first words caught his eye. It was a poem. And it was beautiful.

I've been needing you, lately
When the sun goes down
You’re too far away to find you
So I just drive around
Feeling like a stranger in my place
I want to see your face

I've been missing you, lately
Things just aren't the same
All I'm feeling is lonely
Sometimes I call out your name
I want so bad to believe
Somehow you can hear me

I've been missing you, lately
I've always been yours
But I feel it even more....Lately
I've been needing you lately
I've been missing you lately

Oh, Penelope. He had no idea she’d been writing poetry. He read it at least five times before picking up the journal and carding through it enough to see there were several poems. He was turning the page to read another…

“What are you doing?” Penelope was at the door, clearly upset.

“I’m sorry, Pen. I was looking for the charger and this was sitting on the desk…”

“And you thought it was okay to read my private journal?”

“I’m sorry…”

She was becoming more agitated. Yelling at him. “You had no right! It’s not okay. Give it to me!”

She leaned out to grab the journal from Colin and lost her balance, falling to her knees and crumpling on the floor.

“Pen!” Colin dropped the journal and picked her up from the floor, carrying her out of the office to the sofa as she screamed for him to put her down.

Colin saw blood staining the hem of her dress. “You’re bleeding. Let me see.”

“Get out, Colin. I’ll take care of myself.”

“Let me help you, please.” She stopped squirming away from him and let him look at her knees. Her right knee had a light scrape but was seeping blood. “Let me look for a first aid kit.” He ran upstairs to the master bathroom and found a small first aid kit in the medicine cabinet. He brought it with him and took one of the antiseptic wipes.

“I’m sorry, Pen. This is going to sting a little.” Penelope scoffed. “I know, Colin. I’ve scraped a knee before. I can handle this myself.”

Colin cleaned the scrape and pressed a clean pad to it to stop the bleeding. “I didn’t know you wrote poetry. It was beautiful. I couldn’t stop reading and re-reading it. You’re so talented, Pen.”

They held each other’s gaze a moment before Penelope looked away. “I’m fine, Colin. It’s not bleeding any more. Please just go. Look, I’m too tired from today, so you should just go without me.”

Colin’s heart hit the floor. He really messed this up. “Of course. I told you I didn’t expect you to come tonight. Rest and feel better.” He cleared up the discarded pads and wipes and started towards the door. “What time should I pick you up tomorrow?”

“I’ll text you in the morning and let you know if I’m up to it.” She wouldn’t look at him.

His heart was racing. “Please, Pen. I’m so sorry. It was wrong of me to invade your privacy like that. Please don’t push me away. Up to now, this was the best day I’ve had in LA, all because of you.”

“Good night, Colin. Thanks for today. Break a leg tonight.” He hated leaving her like this. He could feel the depth of her disappointment in him.

Colin picked up his electric guitar and paused in the doorway. She was not going to look at him. He closed the door and used the spare key she’d given him to lock it behind him and left, worried that he might have ruined everything. He had to make it right.

Chapter Text

Colin POV

“Good night, Colin. Thanks for today. Break a leg tonight.” He hated leaving her like this. He could feel the depth of her disappointment in him.

Colin picked up his electric guitar and paused in the doorway. She was not going to look at him. He closed the door and used the spare key she’d given him to lock it behind him and left, worried that he might have ruined everything. He had to make it right.

He drove to the club and shook off the emotions. His performance wasn’t as deep as the previous nights when he knew Pen was listening, but it was still very good.

He got home and stepped into the shower, trying to wash away the stress of the end of their day. He was sorry he’d read something he shouldn’t have, but not sorry that he was able to see a part of Penelope that she’d held back. Had Eloise seen her poetry? Had anyone?

He checked his phone, hoping to see a text from Penelope, but there was none. Rationally, he knew she probably needed some time to process what he did and what he said. He just hoped she wouldn’t ghost him like she did years ago. It would break him. He knew he shouldn’t but couldn’t keep himself from reaching out.

Colin: I was wrong to read your personal writing without your permission. You’ve shared drafts and finished works with me so many times over the years and I’ve cherished them all, but that was on your terms. I am deeply sorry.

Colin: You are my best friend and my favorite person in the world. I absolutely adore you and my heart has a huge Penelope-shaped hole in it when we are estranged. Please, Pen. Please let me make this up to you.

Colin: In case you missed what I said to you, I did not know you were writing poetry and the poem I read was absolutely brilliant. I only read one poem and it was about missing and needing someone lately. You should be proud of that poem. I know I am.

Colin: I understand that you need some space. I’m here, and I will humbly wait for you to reach out to me when you’re ready.

Colin: I already miss you. I hope you sleep well. Thank you for my best day in LA. I will cherish it (and you) forever.

He checked her social media pages hoping she posted photos from today, but there were no updates. He did see that he was tagged in a posting by Cressida tonight. She’d been at the table that Pen and Michael had occupied two nights ago. She’d been boisterous with her applause and praise. After his set, she’d approached him and asked to come home with him, but he’d clearly refused her. Her post had short videos of his performance and a selfie where she’d captured him near her as he posed for a photo with another fan, making it seem that they were together. She’s relentless.

What can he do for Pen? How can he make it up to her? He was terrified that she would ghost him again. Those few months of silence and avoidance were the worst of his life. He couldn’t lose her. She has meant so much to him for most of his life.

They met when she was 8 and he was 10. He’d been racing Anthony and Ben on bikes and for the first time ever, he was in the lead. Suddenly, something bright yellow hit him in the face and covered his eyes. He zigged and zagged until his front wheel hit a curb and launched him over the handlebars into a mud puddle. He was stunned silent for a moment as he assessed whether anything besides his pride was hurt. Suddenly the cutest little redheaded girl in the brightest yellow dress ran to him and looked about to cry. He started to laugh and then she started to laugh. He said, “Well that was not very well done of me.” She answered, “You did fly for a moment. Well done for someone without wings.” They laughed and laughed. He thought she was adorable and sassy and wanted to keep her around. Once he learned her age (she was so tiny, he thought she was even younger), he introduced her to Eloise and that was that. It took almost a year before she seemed truly comfortable with him without Eloise, but it was the start of a beautiful friendship.

When she was 10 and he was 12, he convinced his father to include Pen in their music lessons. She often sang along with Colin when he’d practice, and he saw how she stared longingly at his guitar and the piano. He’d tried to teach her, but it was hard to get time with her, so being part of his dad’s lessons was brilliant.

When she was 11 and he was 13 and his father had died, he could hear her consoling Eloise in El’s room and longed for her attention. He waited for her outside and sure enough, she came right to him and held him. He was finally able to release the tears he’d hidden from his mother and siblings, trying to be strong for them, trying to make them smile. That was his purpose – to make people smile and feel good about themselves. But he didn’t have to be strong with Pen.

When she was 12 and he was 14, he gave her his first guitar. Anthony and Mum gave him their dad’s guitar, so he wanted Pen to have his. They would practice together and Colin imagined the two of them starting a band and becoming a famous duo. Truth be told, it’s still a dream of his.

When she was 13 and he was 15, her father died and he returned the favor, holding her and letting her cry in his arms. He realized what an honor and gift it was to bring comfort to someone. He vowed to himself that he would always be there for her.

When she was 15 and he was 17, he had his first romantic stirrings about Pen. His mother was dragging him to yet another country club ball. He was missing Fife’s party for this. Anthony was grumbling about Daphne making them late when the girls descended the grand staircase at Bridgerton House. He glanced up and was about to look away when he noticed Pen. She was absolutely gorgeous in a lavender dress that hugged her body in all the right places and highlighted her deep cleavage. He knew she’d developed into a womanly body, but her usual ill-fitting clothing hid her luscious curves. As she walked away from him, he nearly drooled over her round ass. He needed to touch her. When the dance floor opened at the country club, he lured her away from the wall and Eloise, and danced with her all night.

He had wanted to kiss her and almost did a few times while they slow danced, but someone always managed to bump them or distract. He knew she was too young and that she was like a sister in his family, so he held back.

When she was 16 and he was 18, he’d already been dreaming about kissing her for a year, and at her birthday celebration, he rehearsed what he could say to convince her to let him give her a birthday kiss. So, he was floored when she asked him to kiss her as a favor. He didn’t hesitate, ready to get this out of his system. The first touch of her lips was soft and sweet. She didn’t pull away, so he deepened it, but she wasn’t kissing him back. He whispered, “a kiss is for two people; you can kiss me, too” and boy did she. They kissed for a full minute and he had never experienced anything like it. He’d had sex with a few girls by that point, but he’d never felt so turned on and so connected. They paused a moment, foreheads together. He was looking at her eyes, but she was looking at the ground. She’d said, “Thank you” and walked away. If she’d only looked up, she would have seen the fire in his eyes. He realized several things that night. (1) He’d had sex before, but never intimacy. Intimacy mattered. (2) He wasn’t just attracted to Penelope, he was in real danger of falling in love with her. And (3) Penelope trusted him enough to let her give a first kiss, but she wasn’t interested in him that way. She’d thanked him! So, (4) it was a good thing he was leaving for university soon, because he needed distance from her if he wasn’t going to make a fool of himself.

When she was 17 and he was 19, his resolve melted. At the birthday party, he used the excuse of a new tradition to kiss her again. This time, she didn’t pull away or thank him. They made out for more than 15 minutes under the willow tree, only breaking away when Eloise came looking for Pen. He convinced himself that he it would be too awkward to date her while he was in uni and she was in secondary school, so he didn’t pursue more. Pen gave no indication she was looking for more, so there was no pressure.

When she was 18 and he was 20, he was looking forward to a birthday snog. He was shocked when she asked him to take her virginity. He was instantly rock hard. He knew he couldn’t do it, as desperate as he was to connect with her on the deepest level. He wanted her. He was afraid that if he had her, he could never let her go. He’d claim her. She’d have to be his, and that wasn’t fair when she was going to be starting university in a different city. Seeing how disappointed and dejected she appeared, he couldn’t resist deepening their intimacy by having her come on his hand. Oh, it was exquisite. She was dripping wet for him and so tight, he nearly came in his pants just feeling her squeezing around his fingers. And her voice as she called his name...he’d never forget it. Her moans became his favorite sound in the world.

When she was 19 and he was 21, he made his own wish for her birthday – he wished she’d repeat her request that he have sex with her. She’d been at university for nearly an entire academic year, so she’d likely already had sex with one or more men. She never mentioned a boyfriend and neither did Eloise, but she was so beautiful, her lips so kissable and her breasts the subject of wet dreams, she had to have lost her virginity.

His wish came true – she did ask him. She was, inexplicably, still a virgin. But he’d unknowingly ruined it all with a careless, unintentionally cruel comment to two classmates who didn’t deserve to look at Pen. He was devastated when she changed her mind. It was bad enough that he’d lost his chance to experience lovemaking, because he was sure it would be as intimate and special as the kissing sessions, but she’d cut him out of her life.

He was desperate. He sent every type of electronic communications, but she’d blocked him from all of them. He showed up at her dormitory, at the library. He didn’t go as far as the classroom – he didn’t want to stir trouble for her – but when he could get away from his own university, he’d tried to see her in person. He’d caught a few glimpses, but Eloise and other friends were protective. He’d written letters and they were returned to sender. He figured she wouldn’t dare miss his graduation and going away party. She would never disappoint his mother like that. But she did and that was his undoing.

He knew she was spending the summer at her mother’s house across the square. He remembered that an old servant’s entrance at the back of the Featherington house did not have a deadbolt. He was able to jimmy the lock and sneak into her bedroom. When she finally told him why she’d ghosted him, he was so ashamed, so mortified, so angry with himself for hurting her that he’d nearly vomited, almost passed out, and could barely hold back his tears. He absolutely despised himself and wanted to soothe and heal the hurt that Penelope must have been feeling.

He'd hoped she would allow him to repair their friendship and let him play the song he wrote for her. It was and is the only music and lyrics he’s ever written that gave him pride. Before the party, he’d set up the gazebo to be able to sing to her, but he never expected that she’d kiss him, and certainly didn’t expect that they would have the absolute best sex of his life. It was the first and only time he’d ever made love to someone. Even though he’d thought he loved Marina, he never felt as deeply connected to her as he did with Pen that night. It was so special, he nearly cried when he broke through her hymen, unable to bear the fact that he’d caused her pain when she was giving him so much pleasure. He’d never forget it.

He was grateful that they were able to clear the air and bring their friendship back on track and he never wanted to be estranged from her again, even if it meant putting aside his dreams of a future with her – a marriage, children with combinations of their unique blue eyes and red and chestnut hair, supporting each other in their dreams. Although, if she’d asked him to be with her, he would have. He could never say no to her.

He'll do whatever it takes to get their friendship back on track. Whatever it takes.

Chapter Text

Penelope POV

Penelope kept her back to the door as Colin left after reading her diary. She heard the key turn the deadbolt. How could someone thoughtful enough to make sure she was locked into the house be so thoughtless about respecting her privacy? She sat, unmoving for several minutes, seething.

What did he read?

Most of that journal contained drafts and finished poems, but some of the pages were filled with personal notes detailing a feeling or thought that could be the subject of a poem. So many of the pages were filled with thoughts of Colin, professing love, recollecting their kisses, multiple verses about the night they made love. There’s no way he could read some of those pages and not learn her deepest secrets and feelings about him.

What did he read?

Could he have read about how she has been in love with him forever? Maybe the one that described his body in great detail. There were two about his perfect cock, including one that mentioned his name. Oh, the poem about their first kiss. Or about dancing at his sister Daphne’s wedding.

What did he read?

All he said is that it was beautiful. That’s something. Let’s focus on that. He read one or more poems – he did say poetry, not notes – and said it was beautiful. Beautiful. There was a poem about his beautiful eyes. No, not beautiful – a remarkable shade of blue that shine even brighter when he’s kind. Arrgh, this is excruciating.

What did he read?

She could ask him. She rarely caught him in a lie, except maybe when he’s trying to make her feel good about something, like how she looks in an outfit or whether her hair was too much of a mess. So, if he wanted her to feel better, he might lie about reading something embarrassing.

What did he read?

Think, Penelope! When was the last time she’d looked at the journal? This morning before Colin showed up. Okay. What was she doing with it? She didn’t write this morning. She was reading a few poems. What was the last one she read? She was going to work on the poem about the feather kiss on Valentines Day but decided to read a few instead and the last one was…Lately.

Lately. She wrote that poem months ago after she found out that he and Marina Thompson had split up. She had broken up with Alfred Debling and she’d started (well, continued, really) daydreaming about Colin. She missed him so much, especially after seeing him at the wedding a month or so before.

He’d been home for two weeks and she’d seen him almost every day.  She was surprised he hadn’t brought his girlfriend, Marina, to Daphne's wedding. From what he’d told her, they were practically living together. Marina was everything Penelope was not – tall, thin, conventionally gorgeous with green eyes and skin the color of caramel. She was a model, traveling the world for photo shoots and dating rock stars and actors.

Penelope hated her. She’d never met her in person or even really talked to her. She was sometimes with Colin during Colin and Penelope’s weekly Facetime session, but the one time Colin brought Marina to London, Penelope was conveniently visiting cousins in Ireland. Nevertheless, Marina had captivated Colin, so she didn’t want to like her. It was immature of her, but, well, she was juvenile that way. She even wrote a poem about it.

What did he read?

Before the wedding, he’d spent the first few days staying at his mother’s house, affectionately known as Number 5 for its street address. Violet was there the first day but left for the country estate, Aubrey Hall, to work on wedding preparations. His youngest siblings, Hyacinth and Gregory, stayed with him and they planned fun-filled days for quality time. Penelope had joined them for video game battles, movie marathons, a doughnut crawl (think pub crawl, but for doughnut shops – her stomach ached just thinking about it, but what a way to go), and an ice cream sundae party, where he’d gotten a dozen pints of ice cream and every fixing they could imagine.

Penelope traveled with Colin, Hyacinth, Gregory, and Eloise to Aubrey Hall for a week of wedding festivities. It was early May, but quite warm. They’d had a day at the races, a day on the water, a games day (where they “let” Daphne win at Pall Mall), and a spa day before the wedding rehearsal and wedding. There was a brunch and honeymoon send-off party the day after the wedding, and two days with just the remaining Bridgerton Clan. They returned to London and Colin stayed with Eloise for the last few days.

He'd been her partner for almost everything. They’d spent nearly every waking moment together and it was glorious. And torturous. He’d shared his excitement that his band, The Ton, was gaining popularity and was being considered for the opening act for the US west coast leg of Billie Eilish’s upcoming tour. He’d shared his frustration that he’d been finding it harder and harder to remember why he’d gotten together with Marina. Some of the stories he shared were hard to hear. Marina was so callous and unfeeling, but clingy and needy, and she knew…she KNEW how much Colin loved to be needed. She said as much to him. She’d even written a poem about it.

What did he read?

He listened intently as she told him about her relationship with Alfred Debling. How she’d loved how committed he was to conservation and his research but was frustrated that his passion was rather singular and it was for the Great Auk and penguins rather than for Penelope – or any other woman for that matter. He’d leave for months at a time. He was quite handsome, even taller than Colin, and he wanted to be with her. He was always nice to her, always respectful. Their sex life was fine. Fine is a fine word for it. She’d written a poem about that.

What did he read?

But Alfred never prioritized Penelope. He’d never told her he loved her and she’d never said it to him, either. He’d known about the wedding for months and had agreed to go with her for the whole week at Aubrey Hall. She was counting on it, especially since Marina was supposed to be there. But two weeks before the wedding, he informed her that he’d gotten funding for an expedition in northern Norway and would be gone for 6-8 weeks, leaving a week before they would have left for Aubrey Hall. Truthfully, she hadn’t been devastated, just disappointed that she’d have to be around Colin and Marina alone. The next day, during their weekly Facetime, Colin mentioned that Marina wasn’t coming to the wedding festivities at all. Penelope was relieved, excited, and nervous. Could she keep her fantasies and feelings at bay?

Throughout those two weeks, Penelope and Colin had been inseparable. They were almost always touching, whether sitting close together, giving each other backrubs or foot rubs, dancing…so much dancing. She loved dancing with Colin. She’d even written a poem about it.

What did he read?

She lost count of the times she thought they were about to kiss. No, that’s a lie. Twenty-four. There were 24 times when she was so entranced by him that she started inching her mouth to his or would find herself staring at his lips. And she swore he was inching towards or staring at her mouth some of those times, too.

But she knew nothing would happen during those two weeks. They would not cross the line. They would not leave the friend zone. He was with Marina and she was with Alfred. One thing she was absolutely sure of is that neither of them would ever cheat on their partner. They were both loyal. She’d written a poem about that.

What did he read?

With a loud huff, she bounded off the sofa to find the journal and see what he might have read. Her knee smarted as soon as she stood up. She limped to the office and immediately spotted the journal on the floor. It had closed when they’d dropped it so there was no way to know what page he’d been on. Damn.

It was nearly 9 pm and she was still getting used to the time zone, so headed upstairs to bed. She refrained from looking at her phone, not wanting to see apologies from him.

She slept fitfully but managed to stay in bed until 7 am. Progress. She checked her phone and saw Colin’s messages.

Colin: I was wrong to read your personal writing without your permission. You’ve shared drafts and finished works with me so many times over the years and I’ve cherished them all, but that was on your terms. I am deeply sorry.

Colin: You are my best friend and my favorite person in the world. I absolutely adore you and my heart has a huge Penelope-shaped hole in it when we are estranged. Please, Pen. Please let me make this up to you.

Colin: In case you missed what I said to you, I did not know you were writing poetry and the poem I read was absolutely brilliant. To be clear, I only read one poem and it was about missing and needing someone lately. You should be proud of that poem. I know I am.

Colin: I understand that you need some space. I’m here, and I will humbly wait for you to reach out to me when you’re ready.

Colin: I already miss you. I hope you sleep well. Thank you for my best day in LA. I will cherish it (and you) forever.

Damn that man. She already missed him, too. It had been an amazing day together, one of the best she could remember up until he read her journal.

She wanted to write that she forgives him and let’s spend the day together like we planned. She wanted to believe that he only read that one poem and that he really liked it. But she was feeling emotionally raw and didn’t trust herself with him. As awful as it would be to waste a chance to spend an entire day and night where neither needed to work, she needed to give herself a break.

She figured he was sleeping since he’d have been at the club until at least 1 am, so now was the time to reply.

Penelope: Thank you for your apologies. I know you’re sorry. We’ll be okay. I need a day for myself. I hope you understand. I will take the day to work on my novel. Maybe I can see you tomorrow after work. Get some rest and enjoy your day.

She hit send and was surprised to see three dots appear immediately. He was awake and looking at his phone. She found herself wanting to console him, but knew she should stick with her plan.

Colin: Thank you for being the very best human on earth…in the galaxy! I would really love to see you tomorrow. I miss you. I hope you have the best day. 💙💛

Penelope: I miss you, too. Thank you for understanding. 💛💙

She hoped he was telling the truth about only reading the one poem – Lately. She hoped he didn’t realize that it was about him. She hoped…

The doorbell rang. I was not even 7:30 am. It rang again. She threw a hoodie over her camisole and sleep shorts and looked through the peephole. She didn’t recognize the young woman on the other side of the door. “Hello,” she shouted through the door.

“UberEats delivery,” the woman shouted back. Penelope opened the door and took the bags. “Let me get my purse…”

“The tip was included. Have a nice day.” The delivery woman walked toward her car.

It was an iced mocha latte and a cinnamon roll from the coffee shop down the street. She didn’t order it, so…Her phone pinged. Of course. This was Colin’s doing.

Colin: Bon apetit, Pen. I’m sorry.

Penelope: Thank you, Colin. This was thoughtful and unnecessary. See you tomorrow.

Colin: 💙💛

She enjoyed her breakfast and took her laptop outside. Two hours later, she was deep in writing mode when the doorbell rang again. This time, it was a floral delivery. Blue hyacinths. Violet Bridgerton loved to decorate with purple hyacinths, but Colin loved blue. That was the meaning of the blue and yellow hearts – blue represented Colin and yellow represented Penelope, for the yellow hat that started it all.

Her phone pinged.

Colin: Hyacinths represent constancy, regret and sincerity. I’m sorry. I’m always here for you.

Penelope: Thank you, Colin. I love them. I know. I forgive you. See you tomorrow.

Colin: 💙💛

She can’t stay upset very long. She knows he regrets what he did and she trusts him.

At noon, another delivery, this time it’s her favorite lunch order from Panera – broccoli cheddar soup and a Fuji apple chicken salad, with an orange scone for dessert.

Colin: Chow down! That’s bon apetit in American. I’m sorry.

Penelope: You’re impossible. Thank you for lunch. I forgave you already.

Colin:  💙💛

At 2 pm, yet another. Balloons. A bunch of yellow and blue mylar balloons surrounding a silver balloon with the words, “I’m sorry.”

Colin: Read the balloon. (I’m sorry)

Penelope: I know. You can stop now. I believe you.

Colin: 💙💛

At 4 pm, another delivery. More flowers – a dozen yellow roses - and a box of chocolate.

Colin: Yellow roses mean you’re my best friend. Chocolates mean we love chocolate. I’m sorry.

Penelope: You’re my best friend, too. We do love chocolate.

Colin: 💙💛

At 6 pm, another delivery. A dinner of chicken and pasta in a pink vodka sauce, a small Caesar salad, and a thick portion of tiramisu from Antonio’s.

Colin: Buon appetito! Look just outside your door. Down. I’m sorry.

Penelope expected to see Colin on his knees or something, but there on the step at the front door was a bottle of her favorite red wine tied with yellow and blue ribbons. She looked around but saw no sign of Colin or a yellow convertible.

Penelope: Thank you for dinner and the wine. I can’t possibly eat all of this by myself. You’re incorrigible. Are you outside? Do you want to come in?

Colin: The leftovers will be delicious. I was there, but I’m on my way home. I promised you space. I’ll see you tomorrow as you wanted.

Penelope: Thank you, Colin. I know you’re sorry and we’re okay.

Colin:  💙💛

At 8 pm, the doorbell rang again. What could it possibly be? Jewelry? Second dinner?  She was definitely not expecting what was behind the door: Michael holding a teddy bear and a pot of flowers.

“Michael!” She opened the door to let him in. “I wasn’t expecting you, but I’m happy to see you.” He handed her the items and she squeezed the stuffed bear before putting them down on the table. She reached for a hug, but he stepped away.

“Hold on.” Five seconds later, her phone pinged.

Colin: Pansies and forget-me-nots mean I love you and I miss you. I would have thought they mean I’m a pansy for hurting you and please don’t forget me, but the almanac doesn’t lie. I’m sorry.

Colin: The bear is to keep you company while I’m not there. He’s almost as cuddly as I am. I’m sorry.

Colin: Hold your arms out to Michael.

She looked at Michael and held her arms out to him and he wrapped her into a hug.

“The hug is from Colin. I’m supposed to hold on for 30 seconds, no more, no less.” They both laughed but enjoyed the closeness. He held on for a full minute and stepped back just enough to lift her chin to him and give her a warm, but quick kiss to her lips. She looked at him questioningly. Ping

Colin: The hug and kiss on the cheek are from me. I’m sorry.

Penelope: He gave me an extra-long hug and the kiss was to the lips.

Colin: Rat bastard. Do me a favor and smack him for me. I’m sorry, Pen.

 

“I think the kiss was meant for my cheek. I’m supposed to smack you.”

“Your lips are quite kissable,” he smirked, and he twisted his backside toward her. “Go ahead and spank me.” She laughed as she smacked his ass.

Penelope: I spanked him. I may spank him again.👐

Colin: I said smack!

Penelope: I’m joking. Sort of. I did spank his arse.

Colin: Penelope Anne Featherington! I’m trying to show you how terribly sorry I am and how much you mean to me.

Penelope: I know, Col, and I love you for it. Thank you for everything today. I look forward to seeing you tomorrow after I’m finished with Charlotte.

Colin: I’ll pick you up from her house when you’re done.

Penelope: I can meet you back at my house.

Colin: I’ll pick you up from her house when you’re done.

Penelope: Got it.

Colin: 💙💛

“Hello…Penelope…remember me? Michael Stirling. Deliverer of hugs and kisses.”

“Sorry, Michael. I was just wrapping things up with Colin. Come, sit down. Would you like some wine and chocolates?” She gestured to the sofa.

“Colin just texted me to go home. Ha! Not a chance.” He plopped down next to Penelope. “What the hell is going on? Flowers, candy, balloons? Colin told me he invaded your privacy and upset you and he was so afraid of losing you. He thought you might need a hug since you were alone all day and dropped off the bear and flowers and asked me to stop by.”He put his arm around her. “I’m always happy to stop by and see my best girl.”

Penelope nudged him. “Geez, you’re such a flirt!” She didn’t move his arm. “What he said sums it up. He read something in my private journal without my permission and I was angry and deeply embarrassed. I overreacted a little, but I think it was good for me to stay away from him today. Not that he truly left me alone with the deliveries every couple of hours.”

He squeezed her shoulder. “He’s so afraid of losing you. I remember our last year of uni where you were angry with him and wouldn’t tell him why and cut him out of your life. He was insane. Absolutely bonkers. I was seriously considering staging an intervention, a Pentervention - ha! - but you both seemed to have resolved the issue before he left the country.”

Oh, they’d resolved it. Then he gave her the most romantic, most wonderful night of her life and ruined her for any other man. “I’m not ghosting him. Those months were just as hard for me. We are fine. I was just embarrassed about what he might have read. Those were my deepest, darkest, lightest, most intimate thoughts that I’ve never shared with anyone.” She placed her hands over her face and bent her elbows to her lap.

Michael lightly touched her arm, encouraging her to stop hiding. “Maybe you should. Share them, I mean. Maybe keeping it bottled up isn’t helping. You can talk to me about anything, you know.”

“Thanks, Michael. I’m so lucky to have you in my life. Who would have thought mousy little Penelope Featherington would claim a famous actor and a rock star as two of my favorite friends?” She grinned and winked at him.

“That’s going a bit too far, don’t you think? I mean, Colin’s not a rock star. Yet. And you’ve never been mousy. Foxy, yes.” He winked right back at her and Penelope rolled her eyes before stifling a yawn. “Time difference still kicking your ass?”

She blushed. “Yeah. I’ve been writing almost all day when I wasn’t answering the door for deliveries.” They laughed. “I made some very good progress on my novel. I’ve even introduced a new character, Matthew Silver. He’s a notorious rake.” She raised an eyebrow to him.

“I like it. He must be the hottest, most desirable man of the Ton. Maidens swoon, widows drool, matchmaking mamas thrust their daughters at him thinking theirs will be the ones to tame him. Just make sure he goes by Matthew and not Matt.” Penelope was rolling with laughter.

“Okay, Michael. Thanks for coming tonight, even if Colin roped you into it.”

“Ropes and chains, now you’re talking!” Penelope punched his arm. “Off with you now!” She led him outside giving him one last hug and locked the door behind her. She grabbed the teddy bear, hugged it to her, and got ready for bed.

*

The next morning, she and Charlotte were outside on the spacious back deck of Charlotte’s home, waves crashing on the shore just below them. She thought back to Saturday when she and Colin held hands walking along the shoreline. He was picking her up around noon – 15 minutes from now - and she hoped it wouldn’t be awkward.

“And then Phoebe will use a kitchen knife to remove Fulton’s kidney and sell it on the black market.” Penelope startled and looked up at Charlotte. Charlotte scoffed. “I knew you weren’t listening. Daydream on your own time.”

Penelope could feel that her face must be red from how the tips of her ears were burning. “I am so sorry, Charlotte. I had been listening and trying to come up with an idea and distracted myself. It won’t happen again.”

“See that it doesn’t. Now, what were you thinking?” Charlotte tilted her head back such that she was looking down her nose at Penelope.

“I was thinking that maybe one way to drive a temporary wedge between Jesse and Fulton is to have Jesse stumble upon him reading something private on her open laptop when Fulton asks to borrow a phone charger. She could make him leave and ghost him, and Fulton could struggle to get her attention…”

“That’s not what I meant, but the trope is a possibility. What had you distracted?”

Penelope chuckled. “Almost exactly that. Happened to me this weekend when I caught my best friend reading from a notebook of my poetry.”

That tickled Charlotte. “And that’s why the trope exists! Are you ghosting your friend now?”

“No. I did cancel our plans for yesterday, but he’s actually picking me up from here today.”

“He. Interesting. Do you know what he read? Was it something too personal or too unfinished?”

Penelope thought about what Colin had told her. “If it’s what he said he read, it was a finished work. It’s all too personal, which is why it was in a personal journal.”

Charlotte nodded. “Of course. Our writing should be ours alone until we choose to share it. Anything else is an invasion of privacy.” Penelope’s phone pinged.

Colin: I’m here. I’ll wait in the car until you’re done. I’ve got a book and music, so don’t rush.

“Is that your intrusive friend?” Charlotte’s eyebrows rose in interest.

“Yes, he’s here. I can tell him to meet me back at my house.” She picked up her phone.

“No, ask him to come in. I’d like to meet him. Brimsley! Please escort the young man loitering outside in a…what color is his car?”  She turned to Penelope. “Yellow convertible,” Penelope shouted towards Brimsley.

Charlotte stood, holding Reynolds. Today she was wearing another billowy dress, this one patterned with peacock feathers. Her wig was dark auburn, done up in a giant bun with peacock feathers intertwined.

Brimsley returned with Colin. A normal person would have a confused or questioning or nervous expression, having just been dragged out of a car, but not Colin. Colin entered the room with an inviting smile, natural charm at the ready. He looked so handsome in his sapphire blue athletic cut polo, tailored gray linen shorts, and navy boat shoes. A sprinkling of chest hair was visible in the v of his collar, his powerful, shapely legs looking sexy as hell.

He smiled at Penelope and turned to Charlotte. “Thank you for inviting me into your home, Ms. Royal. It’s an honor.” He reached out his hand and Charlotte narrowed her eyes but proffered her hand expecting a handshake. Instead, Colin maintained eye contact and lifted her hand to his face, kissing the back of it. “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Colin Bridgerton, Penelope’s…”

“Invasive friend. Yes, I’ve heard.” She took her hand back, but her eyes were smiling. “So how was the poem. Was it worth threatening your relationship with Miss Featherington?”

At least he blushed. “It was quite beautiful. I absolutely loved it. And, no, I was wrong to read it without permission, an invasion of privacy not to be repeated.”

“Glad to hear it. Off with you now. Penelope will join you in a moment.” She gestured to Brimsley, who led Colin back through the house.

“That’s your best friend?” Penelope nodded. “Hmm. He is a dashing young man. Charming. I may model one of my characters after him – he’s got leading man vibes.”

Penelope chortled. “Well, he’s a lead singer, so he lives that vibe.”

“Interesting. Well, don’t keep your man waiting. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.” Penelope walked toward the door.

“And Penelope…” Penelope turned to Charlotte. “Give him a break. He’s got a nice butt.”

Penelope chortled as she left to join her charming best friend.

Chapter Text

Colin POV

Colin pulled up to Charlotte Royal’s house, parked the car on the street in front of it, and texted Penelope. He was a little early but wanted her to know that he was outside and would happily wait as long as needed.

Colin: I’m here. I’ll wait in the car until you’re done. I’ve got a book and music, so don’t rush.

He couldn’t wait to see her. Staying apart from her yesterday was not easy, but he wanted to show that he could respect her boundaries and had to remind himself that she was only here for less than three months. He needed to be able to transition to life without her physical presence after she left. Although, based on the way his musical career was going, he’d probably be back in London, working for the Bridgerton Foundation a couple of months after Pen leaves.

As much as he hates the idea of giving up on his dream, or at least giving up pursuing it full-time, he acknowledges the allure of being close to his family and Penelope. Is it enough of a balm to the pain of going home a failure?

Let’s not focus on that. She’s here now and he’s going to make every day with her count. Even though he didn’t see her yesterday, he’d found a way to be part of her entire day. He was incredibly tempted to go to the house when she invited him to join her for dinner – he even turned the car around – but he didn’t want her to think he was just trying to wiggle his way around the boundary she’d set. Besides, Michael was going to be there in a couple of hours.

He'd called Michael late yesterday morning. Michael could hear the worry in Colin’s voice and readily agreed to help. He’d stopped by Michael’s house in the trendy Silver Lake neighborhood to give him the teddy bear, flowers, and instructions.

“What did you do, bru?” Michael smacked his back as he guided Colin into his house. “You know I am always happy to spend time with Penelope, but you’d mentioned that the two of you were spending the whole weekend together. Did you mess it up already?”

“Yeah. We had a fantastic day until I invaded her privacy. I was out of line.” He slumped into one of Michael’s oversized chairs.

Michael sat across from him. “Did you go through her sex toys drawer?” He was grinning. Colin looked up at him, not amused.

“Nothing like that. Saying any more could only make it worse. Look, I just want to make sure that we don’t lose our connection. I can’t go through her ghosting me again, especially when she’s so close by.”

“So you want me to go there, give her this stuff and give her a hug from you. I get it. You’re there, but you’re not there. I’ve got your back.”

“I appreciate it. So, text me as you get to the door. Ring the bell. Give her the flowers and bear. Wait for her to look at my text on her phone. I’ll tell her to hold out her arms. Give her a hug and a kiss on her cheek. Then go ahead and visit as you’d like.”

Michael laughs. “So now you’re a director. Tell me, what is my motivation? What mood are you trying to evoke? How long should the hug last?”

“Thirty second hug. You’re trying to convey my sincere regrets.” Colin is serious, but Michael is looking at him like he’s grown another head.

“I was kidding. I’ve got this. Go home and write a song or something.”

Colin’s thoughts came back to the present. He was thinking about the song he was working on when a middle-aged man in a suit walked up to the car with an attitude of both formality and authority.

“Excuse me, are you Miss Featherington’s friend?” Colin’s eye went wide. Was something wrong with Pen? “Yes, I’m waiting to pick her up when she’s finished…”

The man opens the driver’s side door to the car. “Come with me. Ms. Royal has requested your presence.”

Colin followed the man into the house, noting that Penelope had described it very well, and was escorted to the library. He saw Penelope immediately, looking gorgeous in an emerald green sundress. How many sundresses does she have and how is he supposed to function around her when she looks like that? She was mouthing I’m sorry when the larger-than-life Charlotte Royal greeted him. He was shocked that Penelope had told her about his transgressions, both because it meant that she was comfortable talking about her poetry with this woman and because she’d confided in her about a personal situation.

He quickly masked his surprise and used his charms on Ms. Royal. He certainly didn’t want to make things awkward for Penelope. He followed Brimsley outside and was debating whether to go back to the car when Penelope rushed out the house.

Their faces nearly mirrored, they both gave muffled shouts, “I’m sorry!” at the same time, went silent for a beat, and then nearly doubled over with laughter. Anyone seeing them on the street would have thought they’d been day drinking.

They were still laughing as they settled into the car. Penelope’s eyes were glistening with tears. Colin quieted as he reached across and wiped them away with his thumb, relishing in the softness of her cheeks and the sparkling azure of her eyes. “So that was Charlotte Royal.”Penelope didn’t answer right away. She was holding his gaze another moment, reaching to brush his cheek with her thumb as if to collect a tear. She let out a breath and settled back in her seat, fastening the safety belt. “The one and only. I can’t believe she dragged you in there!”

“No more shocked than I was to be dragged. I was almost expecting palace guards with bayonets to show up if I’d refused to follow him. Everything okay there? I hope I didn’t cause you any embarrassment.”

Penelope snickered. “No, you were your charming self.” Colin flashed her his most winning grin. “Do you need to stop at home? I should have asked first, but I’ve prepared lunch for us at my place. It will keep if you’d rather go someplace else.”

Penelope was happy with the idea, and they spent the ride talking about the meals and gifts he’d sent her through the course of the day.  As Penelope freshened up in his bathroom, Colin brushed egg on the pastries he’d prepared and put them in the oven.

“Lunch will be ready in 15 minutes,” he informed Penelope as she returned to the kitchen area. She reached for the oven door to see what he was baking, but he moved in front of it, arms crossed. “It’s a surprise. No peeking!” His heart swelled when he took in her pout. She’s just so adorable.

Penelope climbed onto the chair at the kitchen island as Colin stood on the opposite side and reached for her hands. He leaned over the island, his face inches from hers, looking directly into her eyes. “I’m sorry for invading your privacy.”  She maintained eye contact just long enough to say, “I know,” then shook her head and let go of his hands. “The Colin James Bridgerton Apology Tour is officially over, okay?”

He let out a breath. “Fine. But let me finish. I’m sorry I invaded your privacy…” Penelope was about to interrupt. “…but I am not sorry that I got to read your poem. I had no idea you were writing poetry. I mean, I remember you writing a couple of poems when we were kids, but you never said anything to me.”

Penelope crossed her arms and looked down, seeming a bit uncomfortable. “I’ve been writing for years. They’re just not something I’ve ever shared with anyone. Nobody knows.”

He knew that wasn’t accurate. “Charlotte knows. Has she seen any of your poetry?” Has Eloise seen it? Any of her past boyfriends?

Penelope shook her head. “No, I’ve never shown a poem to anyone. Well, that’s not true. I took a couple of classes in university, but only my professors saw anything I wrote and the focus was on published poets. I mentioned to Charlotte that I write poetry when she asked about my writing interests, but I told her I don’t share them.” She looked up at him. “You’re the only person who has read any.”

She looked at him with such vulnerability. His guilt prickled throughout his body. He took her hands again. “Pen, what I read was so beautiful, I can’t get it out of my head. Why don’t you want to share them? You’ve shown me your short stories and novel outlines and you want to be a published author. I don’t understand.”

He squeezed her hands and she looked up at him, her eyes warm. “When I write stories, I have an idea for a plot and actions, and the characters speak to me. I feel like I’m writing their words, describing their feelings and actions and dreams and worries and emotions.” Colin nodded and she went on. “When I write poetry, it’s coming from something deep inside of me. It’s my emotions, my…body and mind expressing itself.” She looked up with a dreamy expression and then back at Colin. He smiled reassuringly.

She pulled her hands away and tapped on the counter. “Poetry is more than words on a page. Sometimes there’s a rhythm to it. Sometimes it’s about the sound of the words as they rhyme or create a pattern. Sometimes it’s the pattern of the words on the page itself. Sometimes it’s the timing of the breath the reader should take between phrases.”

Colin understood. He was aghast at yet another connection he had with Pen. “It’s like music for me. So often I hear words or I’m feeling a certain way and I can hear music. Just now as you were speaking, I could hear a melody.” He hummed something ethereal as they locked eyes.

“Colin, that’s…” Beep, beep, beep. Damn it!  The oven timer interrupted their moment. Colin opened the oven and saw the perfect golden brown of the pastry and removed the pan, placing it on top of the stove, then began taking items out of the refrigerator.

Penelope sniffed loudly. “Do I smell sausage?”

Colin placed the bowl of salad, a bottle of the vinaigrette he and Penelope like, some ketchup, and a bowl of something green on the island.

“I know it hasn’t even been a week, but with what I put you through the last two days, I thought you might be a little homesick, so I made us some sausage rolls.”  Penelope clapped her hands and Colin felt her happiness pass through him. “It’s my mum’s recipe, just like we get at Gregg’s.”

“Col, baby, I don’t have to be homesick to want sausage rolls. They’re a food group on their own.” She glanced down at the bowl of dark green chutney. “Is that Branston pickle? Does Violet ship it to you?”

Colin blushed at being called baby. “Sure is. I get it on Amazon.” Branston pickle is a British classic – a sweet and spicy chutney made from finely diced pickled vegetables.

Colin plated the sausage rolls and they both could not wait to take a bite. They both reached for their glasses of ice water simultaneously. He laughed. “We are always too impatient to wait for stuff to cool off. You’d think we’d learn as grown-ass adults.”

Pen took a sip of water before going in for another steamy bite. “Adulting is over-rated.”

They enjoyed their lunch, cleaned up, and plopped down on the sofa, facing each other. He had something to ask, but needed to lead up to it slowly, afraid he’d poke the dragon and get burned. “Pen, I don’t mean to push, so tell me to mind my own business, but when you write poetry, do you ever hear music? You mentioned rhythms, so I’m curious.”

Penelope showed no signs of discomfort. “Sometimes. I often hear a beat, but not always a melody.”

Colin decided to push ahead, but did not meet her eyes. “I read your poem several times and I could hear different melodies depending on the mood of it.” He dared to meet her gaze. She looked perplexed, but not upset, so he trudged on.

“Do you mind if I show you?” She nodded to go ahead, so he rose and grabbed an acoustic guitar.

“The poem I read was about missing and needing someone lately. The feeling that bore the poem could have been sentimental, like “hey, friend, I miss you and wish you were around” like this. He began playing a melody with a moderate tempo, a little sad, but hopeful.

Penelope shook her head.

“It could be desperate, like I’m not sure I can make it without you, like this.” He played a melody that sounded sad and anxious.

Penelope shook her head.

“But the way I read it was with longing – a yearning to be with the person, like this.” He played a melody that was a slow ballad, pining, beautiful.

Penelope’s head shot up, her face breaking into a wonderous smile. “That’s it! That’s the mood.”

Colin kept playing. “Do you remember the words? They’re burned in my memory.” Penelope blushed. “Of course, I had been reading it that morning and I know it.”

“Sing it for me, Pen.” He strummed the melody. Penelope looked as if she were going to refuse, but she surprised him.

“I’ve been needing you lately. When the sun goes down, I know I won’t find you, so I just drive around.” Her voice was beautiful, and the music and lyrics knit together perfectly. “I feel like a stranger in this place, I want to see your face, I’ve been needing you lately.”

Colin stopped playing and they just stared at each other, his grin growing so wide he thought his lips would crack. “Pen, that was…”

Penelope’s face registered surprise, before splitting into a smile. “That was incredible. I never once thought of putting a poem to music. That melody is perfect.”

“Thanks, but it’s not perfect. It’s just a start. I’d love to keep going if you’re okay with it. We don’t have to do anything with the song, I just wanted us to explore together.”

“Let’s keep going. I’ve never done anything like this.” Her enthusiasm made Colin’s day.

“Thanks, Pen. What if we change the last line you sang, I’ve been needing you, I’ve been needing you lately.” He changed the pattern of the last part of the stanza and it popped.

They spent the rest of the afternoon working on the song. Colin suggested making it into a duet and added harmonies. The result was spectacular.

“That’s it, Col! I think we’ve got it!” Colin put down his guitar and hugged Penelope. “Thanks, Pen. I’m so glad we got to do that together. We should record it on our phones so we can listen to it whenever we want.”

“No.” Colin was taken aback. “I mean, yes, we can record it for ourselves. But, Colin, the song is yours if you want it.” Mine? His eyebrows furled with confusion. She continued, “You can perform it if you want. I mean, if you think it’s good – errr – the right fit for stage.”

Of course he loves the song, but he hadn’t spent the day like this to create a song for him to perform. But it’s obvious she is concerned it’s not actually good enough to share. “I’d love to add this to my performances, but only if you sing it with me.”

She scoffed. “Colin, I’m not a singer. That’s your thing. I won’t even sing and play with you in front of your family, how am I supposed to get on stage?”

Colin was convinced she could do this. “First, your voice is fantastic. Nothing to worry about there. The song is lovely. Nothing to worry about there. In my experience, it’s harder to perform in front of people you know than it is performing to strangers. If they don’t like it you’re not going to have to interact with them regularly. Nothing to worry about there.”

Penelope stood, hands on her hips, glaring down at Colin. “Nothing to worry about? Col, you know me. I’m the one who hangs in the back of the room talking to people I know. I’m the one who people don’t even remember being at a party or event. I’m used to being somewhat invisible, not the center of attention. When have you ever known me to want to be the center of attention?”

Colin looked at her as if she had grown an extra eye on her forehead. “What are you talking about? You’re the person I seek out when I know you’ll be around. And when I don’t know you’ll be there, I’ll still find you. Your amazing red hair stands out. You stand out in a crowd.” He always finds her, even when he’s not looking.

“You’re tall. You see everything.” He scoffed. “Colin, I’m your best friend. Of course you look for me. But if you didn’t know me, you wouldn’t see me.”

Not notice the enchanting pixie with the fiery hair, remarkable blue eyes, and luscious curves? Not a chance. “Agree to disagree. I’d notice you and I’d want to meet you.” Penelope shook her head. “Besides, Pen, why does that matter? Even if you were invisible,” he made air quotes with his fingers, “doesn’t mean you can’t be the center of attention. I mean, someday you’ll be a best-selling author and you’ll have to get up in front of people to do readings and stuff for your book tour.”

Penelope bent slightly in front of him to cradle his jaw in one hand. “You are the best friend in the world for believing that will happen.” She patted his cheek and stood. “I’ll cross that bridge if I ever come to it.”

She started to stand fully, but Colin pulled her down onto his lap and hugged her to him. “I wish you would believe in yourself the way I believe in you. The way all of the Bridgerton Clan believes in you.” He kissed her temple. “Your writing is fantastic. Your poetry, well, based on the one poem, is wonderful. Your voice is amazing. You’re stunning.” She scoffed at the last bit. He placed a finger under her chin and lifted it to face him. “You are so beautiful, Pen.” She looked so vulnerable. The urge to kiss her had never been stronger. He started to lean closer to her lips when his stomach growled, loudly. She raised her eyebrows and they both giggled.

“I think it’s time for your next feeding,” Penelope joked. “How about you take me home and we can make a dent in that ridiculously large portion of pasta and tiramisu you sent me?”

Colin wasn’t ready to let her off his lap but had no good excuse to keep her there. “Sounds good. We can bring the leftover sausage rolls and the rest of the salad and make a meal out of it.”

They sang their new song during the drive, prepared the leftovers, and enjoyed the evening. Colin was relentless in trying to convince Penelope to sing with him Wednesday night.

“Come on. It’s a Wednesday night. There’s not a huge crowd at Whistledown’s in the middle of the week. You don’t even have to use your name. You can be Penny Feathers.”

“You know I hate that nickname.” She sat with her arms crossed, trying to look unmovable.

“Quill?” Penelope shook her head, no. “Lady Feathers.”

“Eww.” Penelope scowled.

“It’s like Lady Gaga or Lady Antebellum, well, Lady A now.” She seemed interested. “Lady Whistledown! Fits right in with your love of all things Regency.”

“The owners of the club may not like that.”

“Will and Alice? I think they’d be chuffed about it. I’ll ask them.” This was going to happen, he was sure of it.

Pen sighed, “I’ll think about it.” 

Chapter Text

Penelope POV

I can’t do this.
I never wanted to do this.
I don’t have to do this.
I won’t do this.
He can’t make me do this.
He’s not making me do this.

I want to do this.

I should do this.

I can’t do this.

In the four hours that she’s been home since finishing her work with Charlotte today, Penelope has been on an endless loop of circular reasoning. Colin is adding the song – their song – to his set tonight. They rehearsed it yesterday, and Colin wants to keep it simple, no band, just Colin playing lead guitar and Penelope playing harmonizing chords on her guitar.

He’s given her an out. One way or another he’s playing the song. The choice is hers whether she wants to to sing and play, just play, or just listen. She’s leaning towards the listening, at least for the first time.

It will be the first time she’s shared one of her poems publicly. That should be enough courage for one day, right? Sharing a poem is like sharing a piece of her soul. She’s thankful that Colin didn’t ask her why she wrote it or whom she wrote it for. She didn’t have to lie or to tell the truth – she wrote it about him. She missed him in the longing for, pining over mood that Colin picked up on with his melody.

The doorbell rang. Oh, no. She’s been spiraling so long that she’s lost track of time. Her hair and makeup are done, but she’s not dressed. Well, she’s got leggings and t-shirt on, but she can’t wear that to the club.

She ran downstairs to open the door for Michael. This was Penelope’s idea. As much as Colin said it can be easier to perform only to strangers, Penelope thought having someone she knows, especially someone who will be supportive even if she bombs, would help. Michael is perfect for this. As an actor, he’s had his share of situations where either his performance was off or there was only so much he could do with the material. She’d seen it. She’d supported him through it and hadn’t thought badly of him. He’d do the same.

“Hey, Penelope.” He scanned her from top to bottom. “Tell me you’re not wearing that.”

At least she knows he won’t lie to placate her. “I can’t decide what to wear.” Michael held out his elbow for her to take his arm. “Good thing your fairy godfather is here. Let’s see what we can whip up to knock his socks off.”

Penelope let him escort her upstairs and led him to her closet. “His socks? You mean the audience.”

Michael raised on eyebrow, then said, “Right. The audience.” He began moving through the small collection of dresses, skirts, slacks, and blouses in her closet. He grabbed a black denim skirt that she’d forgotten she’d packed and a sheer black button-down blouse that she usually wore over a short or long-sleeved shirt. He moved to the set of drawers.

“Michael! I didn’t say you could go through my…”

“Perfect!” Michael pulled out a lacy black bustier that was meant to be lingerie. Eloise had helped her pack and while Penelope wasn’t looking, she’d thrown in some sexy pieces for her California adventure. “Trust me. Put it on. If it’s not fabulous, we’ll find something else.” With a sigh, she headed into the bathroom and put on the ensemble. She had to admit, it was sexy and flattering, but not as revealing as she’d worried. Her hair was down in soft waves and her makeup was not heavy, but her eyeshadow had a little silvery shimmer. She walked out of the bathroom.

“Wowza! You love it, right? It’s almost perfect.” Penelope just nodded, not wanting to give him too much satisfaction to feed his already overly large ego. He unbuttoned the bottom few buttons of the blouse and tied it at her waist such that the tiniest bit of skin was showing. She opened her jewelry box and put on a chunky silver necklace and long, chandelier earrings. “Stunning!” Michael handed the sky-high black heels she’d worn the first time she’d gone to the club.

She shook her head. “If I do end up going on stage, I don’t think I could perform in those.” She rooted through her closet and found knee-high black boots with a chunky heel. She modeled them for Michael.

He eyed her up and down and gestured to her bed. “How much time do we have? I only need 5 minutes, maybe 10 to fully ravish you.”

Penelope chuckled. “Not sure that’s something to be proud of.” She walked out of the room and downstairs.

Michael drove them to the club, giving her every reason why she should take advantage of this opportunity. “You need more self-confidence, Penelope. You have so much to offer and you hide from it. Do this for yourself. Not for Colin. Do it for Penelope.”

They arrived at the club an hour before Colin was scheduled to perform. Colin was working on the sound board when she arrived and didn’t turn around until she was almost upon him. He looked fantastic in his black jeans and tight black shirt that molded to his body. He always looked fantastic. His jaw dropped when he saw her. He took her hand and held it over her head to twirl her.

“Lady Whistledown is hot as hell. She’s fire! You are absolutely stunning.” Penelope blushed all the way down her chest. Her heart swelled not just at his words, but at the way he was looking at her, like she was the largest slice of chocolate cake with peanut butter filling.

Michael moved close to Penelope and put his arm around her. “Why, thank you, CJ. I dressed her myself.” Colin’s eyes narrowed with a hint of jealousy but recovered.

“Uh, thanks, Michael. I’m glad you’re here with us. Wait until you hear what Pen wrote. It’s brilliant.” Penelope was shaking a little and Michael squeezed her. Colin continued, “You have reserved seats up front, same place as last time. When I get to the end of the set, I’ll introduce you and you can walk up to the stage from the side.” He pointed to the side steps.

Penelope wanted to be brave. She wanted to do this for him. Michael said to do it for herself, but she’d be more likely to put on a brave front by convincing herself that Colin needed her. Still, she wasn’t sure she was up to it.  “I’ll try my best, Col, but I’m still not sure I can sing.”

He gave her a small smile, took her hand, and pulled her away from Michael into his arms. He bent down to her ear. “Pen, I would never want to make you do something that would hurt you. I know you’ll shine, but whatever you decide to do is okay with me. I won’t be disappointed. You are letting me perform your work. That’s more than enough. It would be so much better with you, but you can’t disappoint me. You’re my favorite person and I love you no matter what.”

Her heart melted. He kissed the top of her head and led them to their seats. “I have to finish setting up.” He looked at Michael, “Take care of our girl.” He lifted her up to the seat as he’d done previously and left them.

Penelope looked around the club. Despite Colin’s prediction, it was crowded. All the tables were taken, as well as the bar stools. It was standing room only. Scanning the crowd, she spotted Cressida staring at her and Michael. Penelope nodded and Cressida lifted her drink to her.

Michael and Penelope were deep in conversation when Cressida approached their table. “You’re back. Together.” The disdain was dripping like wax from a burning candle. “I’m sure CJ likes having his little friend here.”

Michael grunted. “His little friend will be performing with him later. They wrote a song together. They do everything together.” Michael was giving it right back to Cressida. Once again, Penelope thought, people were talking about her, in front of her, and not to her.

“Nice to see you, Cressida. Hope you enjoy the show. I know CJ appreciates his fans.” She turned back to Michael and started talking to him as if Cressida wasn’t there. Cressida seemed to get the hint and left.

“Bravo, Lady Whistledown.” She could feel the pride in Michael’s voice. “Let’s keep that swagger going.”

Colin was fantastic again. She couldn’t take her eyes off him. Her heart swelled with pride, thinking about how his much his father would have loved to see him. He probably was watching over him. She wished his family was able to see him more often. Watching videos just isn’t the same as experiencing the energy that he exudes. You feel his music down to your toes.

She was still deep into the groove when he announced the last song. “I have a special guest with me tonight. Please join me in inviting my favorite person in the world, Lady Whistledown, to the stage. She’s never been on stage before and she’s a little nervous, so let’s all encourage her.” He looked directly at her and winked. Michael reached across and kissed her cheek. “You’ve got this. Break a leg!”

Her heart was pounding in her chest and she was finding it hard to breathe. The Lukes walked off stage and Colin was getting her guitar and setting up the mic. She could do this. Michael took her hand and walked her to the stairs to the stage. Every step felt like her feet were encased in cement blocks. Michael stood at the bottom of the stairs until she made her way up. Somehow she made it center stage. The lights were intense and she was already sweating. Her heart was racing, breathing uneven.

She looked up at Colin to tell him she couldn’t do it and saw the tenderness and love in his eyes. She took a deep breath. He handed her the guitar and she adjusted the strap as he adjusted the microphone to her height, then moved to his mic. “You are in for a treat. This is a song that Lady Whistledown and I wrote from her own, original, beautiful poem. It’s called, Lately. I hope you like it.”

She looked at the audience and then the microphone. “I’ve never sung into a mic before.” Several people in the audience laughed lightly. She started panicking and looked up at Colin. “Just look at me. Only at me. It’s just us.” She nodded. Her breathing was nearly back to normal.

He softly counted up, “1, 2, 3..” They strummed their guitars, creating a gorgeous melody. Colin came in with the first verse. “I’ve been needing you lately.” As soon as he started singing, she felt like it was just the two of them in his flat, sharing their talents. He finished his verse “I’ve been needing you, I’ve been needing you lately.” They played the musical interlude before it was her turn. He raised an eyebrow, silently asking if she was going to sing. Her nod was barely perceptible, but his answering smile let her know he understood.

“I’ve been missing you lately…” she began. She didn’t think about the mic or the audience. She was singing to Colin and it was perfect. Everything around them was dark except the light that surrounded the two of them. Their own world.

Their voices blended, “I’ve always been yours, but I feel it even more lately…” It was perfect. They were perfect together. They were made for each other. If only he could see it, too. All too quickly, they were singing the last line. “Missing you lately.” They played the last notes and didn’t move, lost in their locked gaze. There was a moment of silence, then rancorous applause.

Colin closed the distance and buried his face in her hair a moment, whispering, “Perfect” before taking her hand and leading her into a bow. “Lady Whistledown!” Slowly the crowd stood as they continued their ovation. “Thank you, everyone! Have a wonderful night and enjoy the last act by the Trainrunners.” He quickly led her backstage, put their guitars down, and swooped her into his arms.

“Pen! You were amazing.” He didn’t put her down. “Thank you.” Right cheek kiss. “Thank you.” Left cheek kiss. “Thank you.” Quick kiss to the lips. He twirled around with her once more before setting her down.

Penelope was overwhelmed. Did that just happen? Did she just share her poem with an entire audience? Did she just play guitar in front of someone other than Colin? Did she really just sing in public? And did they just get a standing ovation?

She was floating. She had seen movies where people go up on a parabolic flight to experience zero gravity. The plane goes into a steep dive for a half a minute or so at a time, allowing passengers to float around the cabin. Some enjoy every minute, while others feel sick to their stomach. She was feeling the floating, unmoving as Colin packed up the guitars. He took her hand and led her back into the club to find Michael, but as soon as they were visible, people started applauding again. She took a deep breath and let it soak in.

“That was beautiful.” “Did you really write that song?” “That’s the best song you’ve ever done.” “Where can I get the single?” “Are you single?” She’d never experienced anything like this. People saw her – she wasn’t blending into the walls. She snapped out of the trance she’d been in ever since Colin introduced her and let herself soak it in. She signed a couple of autographs, took a few selfies and once again felt herself being lifted off the floor. Michael swept her up, hugged her fiercely, and set her back down. “You were spectacular! Amazing! How could you hide that voice and those words?”

“Thanks, Michael.”

He beamed down at her. “How are you feeling? A first performance can be heady.”

Penelope nodded. “It was surreal. I’m still processing it. I still can’t believe I just did this. I really didn’t think I could, but once I got started, it was like it was just the two of us.”

Michael chuckled. “The way the two of you were looking at each other, I’m sure neither of you could imagine anyone else in the world. It was intense.” As Colin joined them, Michael continued, “Bravo, man. You two are amazing together. The song is awesome.”

Penelope glowed as Colin took her hand again. She briefly registered Cressida’s fuming glare towards her before a man she’d never met introduced himself to the trio. He was ruggedly handsome, bald, with ebony skin and chocolate eyes.

“Please let me introduce myself. I’m Marcus Anderson with Mayfair Records.” She saw Colin’s face register recognition and excitement. “You were excellent, CJ, but that last song was incredible. How long have you two been together?”

Penelope started to stay that they were not together, but Colin beat her to it. “We’ve been friends forever, since childhood.”

Marcus interrupted, “No, I mean how long have you been writing and performing together?”

Pen was about to say three days, but Colin’s look stopped her. “We’ve been playing together on and off since we were teenagers.” It wasn’t a lie, but until Monday, they hadn’t played together in close to five years. “The writing is newer,” he added.

“Listen, if you have more like that in you, we should talk. Let me know when you’re ready with three of your best songs. I’ll have you come in and record them. You both have the look and talent to be recording artists and that is on the table, but if you’re just interested in selling the songs, I’m pretty confident we can make a deal.” He handed them each a card and made his way out of the club.

She turned to Colin, who was still in a state of shock. She wasn’t sure how to feel. Someone wanted to buy her poetry in the form of lyrics. Wow. But Colin…did she just trample his dream? He sings with her and finally gets an offer – will that make him feel like he’s not good enough himself? Would he…

“Pen! How amazing was that?” He squeezed her hand.

Michael chimed in. “Wow. A record producer is interested in your music the first time you play it? That is serendipity. I mean, it was a great song and deserving, but this is fantastic.”

Penelope was still processing what this would mean. Colin’s face grew serious and Michael was looking between them. “Congratulations, you two. I’m going to head out and let you have your moment.” He slapped Colin on the back and kissed Penelope’s forehead before leaving the club.

Before Penelope could say anything, Colin was leading them out the back entrance towards his car. He stowed the guitars and opened the passenger side door for her. He pulled onto the road and didn’t look at her as he spoke.

“Pen, you don’t have to share any more poems or help me write more songs.  That’s not why you came to LA. I don’t want to take advantage of your time and talent that way, especially since it was never your dream to do any of this.”

Penelope’s heart sank. It was just as she thought. He’d wanted to do it all on his own. He probably resented her for having to share the spotlight with her. He’d been chasing this aspiration for years and she just stumbled into it.

“It’s okay, Colin. You’re right, it was never my intention to write songs or perform like that. The spotlight belongs on you. You don’t need me for it. He said you were excellent on your own, so maybe he’d be okay with working with you solo.”

She saw his grip on the steering wheel tighten and his shoulders slump. “Yeah. I can do that.” They shifted the conversation to the incredible response to the song. Penelope was thrilled to be asked for an autograph for the first time. “I signed a napkin and a receipt!”

When they reached the house, he walked her inside and accepted her offer of a glass of wine to toast their success. Colin provided the toast, “Here’s to the best partner in the galaxy.” They clinked glasses and took a sip of the luxurious cabernet.

Penelope smiled at the thought. She’d loved working with Colin, being his partner. She put her hand on his knee. “I know you can do this all on your own. You’re that talented, Colin. Even though my poem got things started, you’re the one who found a way to turn the words into a song. You’ve got the talent. Just give yourself some grace.” She squeezed his knee, loving the feeling of his strong legs.

“Thanks, Pen. I loved every minute of working with you. You’ve always been my muse, but this was another level. Combining your talent with words with my talent with music…spending time with you in a creative space…I’ll never forget it. It’s the best memory I have of making music.”

He was looking at her with such adoration, she could drown in it. “I know you can do this yourself, but if you ever want to partner with me again, I am happy to help. If you ever get stuck on lyrics, maybe I can offer some advice. And if you ever want another of my poems, just ask.” She meant it. She’d show him almost any of her poems if he would make it into a song the way they did this week.

Colin’s face lit up. “Wait, you’re willing to share your poetry?”

She nodded. “I trust you. I want to share this part of me with you.”

Colin took her hand. “Penelope, do you want to write songs with me? Sing with me? You can say no, but when I saw your body language when Mondrich made the offer, you seemed to be uninterested for yourself. I hope you are not thinking that I don’t want your partnership here.”

Wait, what? “Of course I want to partner with you. The last two days have been amazing. I thought I was stepping on your dreams.” His face softened before he smiled at her.

“Penelope Anne Featherington, or Lady Whistledown, if you will. Do you not recall all of the times I told you about my dream of us being the dynamic duo of the music world? You and me, babe.”

Penelope giggled at the memory. “I remember. Colin and Pen – music and lyrics.” She was brimming with excitement of the possibilities. Writing novels was still her goal but working with Colin and expressing her creativity in these new ways – that’s California Dreaming.

Chapter Text

Colin POV

Colin woke up from a dream where he was performing an original song on stage with Penelope and a guy from a well-known record company offered a chance for a recording contract. No, that was reality, but in the dream sequence, he’d carried Penelope upstairs after she agreed to partner with him, watched as she slowly removed every speck of the sultry clothing she’d worn, kissed and licked every square inch of her body, before bringing her to pleasure over and over. His cock was rock hard and weeping.

He spread the wetness over his tip and shaft and took himself in hand. It took an embarrassingly short time to spill all over his abs.

He rolled himself out of bed to clean himself up, then checked his phone. He didn’t expect to hear from Penelope until later this afternoon. She was going to let him look at a few of her poems and planned to sing with him at the club again tonight. He could hardly wait. Sharing the stage with her was otherworldly. It felt right, their voices blending to make something better than either of them alone.

He'd noticed that Michael had sent a text last night, but didn’t realize what it was or that it was sent to a group.

Michael Stirling Stans: Anthony, Kate, Benedict, Sophie, Colin, Daphne, Simon, Eloise, Francesca, John, Gregory, Hyacinth, Violet, Penelope, Michael

Michael: Greetings, stans. Check out what happened last night in LA. Introducing CJ Bridges and Lady Whistledown and their first ever music and lyrics collaboration, Lately. <video of the song performance taken from his seat>

Violet: Oh, that’s absolutely beautiful. You two wrote that? Colin, you are wonderful as always, but Penelope, your voice is gorgeous and you were amazing together. I’m overwhelmed.

Hyacinth: Penelopeeeeeee! You’re a goddess! I love this song!! I didn’t know you could sing like that! You two are 🔥together! Polin 4eva!!!

Benedict: Gadzooks! That is some artistry right there. The lyrics are stunning and the music is gorgeous. Your voices are perfection – Penny has been holding out on us. You’d better sing that for us when we are in town.

Hyacinth: Gadzooks? Really? Again with the wrong century.

Daphne: I’m not crying!

Kate: Neither am I!

Simon: Yes, she is. Outstanding song and performance.

Eloise: What is a Whistledown and why is Penelope singing? Why? Because she rocks! Great job, Pen! You were okay too, Col.

Francesca: When are you recording this? I need this for my playlists. That is beautiful music.

Anthony: You made my wife cry, Colin. I don’t like when she cries.

Gregory: Penelope, you look hawt! And you sound hotter. When are you coming back to London?

John: Thanks for sharing, cousin. You two are incredible together.

Penelope: Thanks, everyone! It was all Colin’s idea. He took a poem I wrote and turned it into this beauty. He and Michael somehow convinced me to get on stage. His talent is astounding.

Penelope: Whistledown is the name of the club. Colin came up with the stage name so that I would feel more comfortable performing in public.

Violet: How wonderful for both of you.

Colin was reminded of how grateful he is to have a big, supportive family. He misses them. No surprise that Penelope was downplaying herself.

Colin: Thank you, family. Pen is the spark and the flame for this duet. Her words, her choice of melody, her voice, her utter presence. This was the first time she has ever played guitar or sang in front of anyone but us and the first time she even used a microphone and she got a standing ovation. All hail the goddess that is Penelope Featherington aka Lady Whistledown.

Gregory: I worship Lady Whistledown.

Anthony: Cool it, Greg. @Hy what’s a Polin?

Hyacinth: You’re ridiculous. What’s a Kanthony?

Gregory: Ask your wife when she’s done crying.

There’s another text, just from Pen.

Penelope: Howdy, partner. (I guess that’s Texas, not Cali)

Penelope: Meet me at my place around 5:00 pm. I can make spaghetti.

Colin had rehearsal with the band around 1:00 pm. Pen was going to pick a few poems that might make good lyrics and send them to him. He knows he’s fortunate that she’s willing to share; he’d never ask to look directly at her journals.

Colin: See you then. Let me know if I can pick anything up on my way.

She’s only been here a week and already he cannot imagine her being anywhere else. That’s not true. They could be anywhere as long as they are together. Penelope is home. Singing with her last night, he felt a connection so deep, he didn’t know if he would be able to separate himself from her in a couple of months. It was like they were connected by an invisible string, no matter how far apart they were, that invisible string kept them tied together.

He wanted her. He nearly lost it when she walked in last night. The sheer blouse with the sexy top underneath, the short skirt, the high boots, her hair…it took everything he had not to drag her to a back room. The panic on her face was the only thing keeping his erection at bay.

He loved her. He never stopped and probably never would. But would he ever be worthy? He was starting to feel like it is a possibility. If he could get a contract with Regency Records, he’d confess his feelings and do everything he could to be the man she wanted and needed.

His phone pinged.

Penelope: Here are five poems. Please be kind. <photos of pages from her journal>

Colin quickly read each one. They were all fantastic and had potential. The last one made his heart stop. It was titled, Invisible String and damn it to hell if it wasn’t exactly what he’d been thinking moments ago. Another, If I Didn’t Know Better, elicited an immediate melody, bluesy with attitude. He could hear Penelope’s voice and his own.

He sat at the piano and let the music flow from him.

Just before 5 pm, he arrived at Penelope’s house carrying his guitar and three garment bags. Penelope had texted that she’d be outside, so he should let himself in. He placed the guitar near the door and the garment bags on the sofa and went outside to find Penelope. She was sitting on the porch swing reading one of Charlotte’s books, legs tucked under, looking very cute in denim shorts and a floral t-shirt.

“Hi, beautiful.” He stepped closer to her and started to sit in one of the cozy chairs.

“Howdy, handsome. Come sit with me.” He remembered when they were young and they would share the porch swing in the back garden of Bridgerton House. He’d sit on one end and she’d lay her head on his lap and they’d read something together, then they’d swap places. Looking at the swing, he realized he was probably too tall to stretch out onto her lap.

He sat down on the opposite end and patted his lap. Her smile grew wider and she put her head on his lap, stretching her legs out on the rest of the bench. His hand immediately went to her hair and he began stroking her scalp, moving his hand down and capturing her tresses between his fingers. He’d lightly pull the curl straight and let go and watch it spring back. He could do this all day. Her hair was soft as silk.

“Mmm, that feels so good. It’s been ages since we’ve done this, Col.” He used one foot to keep the swing moving back and forth.

“How was your day, cupcake?” He asked in a voice that clearly communicated that he was playing the part of life partner.

Penelope played along. “Not bad, babycakes. I still feel like I’m getting nowhere with Charlotte. She keeps moving the bar, changing the main plot, even changing the characters. We’ve come up with several story outlines, but it’s like every day, she abandons the one we worked on the previous day.”

Colin cringed. “That sounds awful. I’m sorry it’s not going better.” He gathered her hair into one fist and pulled lightly. “Oooh, that’s so good, Colin.”

Now here’s where he made the mistake. It’s been such a long time since they’ve done this, he forgot the part where he puts a pillow on his lap first. Now he has to hope that she doesn’t feel his cock twitching. He can feel it, but maybe it’s imperceptible externally. He squirmed to cover the motion, just in case, but Penelope sat up. “Time to swap.”

“I don’t think I fit.” It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but he put his head on her lap, swung one leg over the side of the swing and the other on the ground. Not the most comfortable, but her fingers scratching his scalp and carding through his hair were glorious. “Here lies Colin James Bridgerton, cause of death: dehydration and malnutrition from refusing to move off of the lap of Penelope Anne Featherington.”

Penelope giggled. “Is this your way of telling me you’re hungry?”

“No, this is my way of telling you that you’re making me feel so good I don’t ever want you to stop.” His stomach chose that time to growl. Penelope giggled again, “I rest my case.”

Damn his overactive appetite. “I’m fine for now, Pen. Dinner can wait. Your poems were outstanding. Each of them could work, but two jumped up at me telling me they want to be songs now.”

Penelope laughed. “Just like my characters telling me how they want their story to go. I get it. Which ones?”

“If I Didn’t Know Better. I could hear the blues and the sassy hook, damnit I do.” He sang the last bit and she gasped.

“That’s exactly how I heard it those words when I wrote them.” She bent down and kissed his forehead. "Okay, that’s the first one.”

“The second one is kismet. I’m not going to ask if you were thinking of someone when you wrote it, but this morning I was thinking of us and how we have stayed so close, always there for each other even through the miles, like we were connected by an invisible string.” He felt and heard her suck in a breath.

“Invisible String? I wrote that about us.”

He felt a tingling move through his body and sat up to face her. “Really?” He touched his forehead to hers.

She looked into his eyes. “Really.”

His gaze drifted to her lips. He absolutely needed to kiss her. Not want. Need.  “Pen, do you think our friendship could withstand an occasional kiss?”

He saw her smile and lick her upper lip. His heart skipped a beat. “You’re the one who established the annual birthday kiss. I suppose we could add some new occasions.”

He could work with that. “Like the start and end of a new song?” 

She nodded slightly, their foreheads still connected. “An invisible string pulling us closer.”

He cupped her face with both hands and brushed his lips across hers like the whisper kiss he’d bestowed on Valentine’s Day. The next touch added pressure before he sucked her lower lip into his mouth. She moaned and he was undone. The kiss deepened, back and forth, giving and taking. His tongue slipped past her lips, sliding along hers. Now he was the one to moan. One hand slid into her hair, capturing the luxurious locks while the other caressed her face. One of her hands was in his hair while the other was behind his neck keeping him close.

When his hand started to make its way below her neck, he slowly pulled back, easing them out of the kiss. Their foreheads returned to their starting place, and they slowly opened their eyes and discovered their matching smiles, lips swollen. He dipped in to kiss the tip of her nose.

His stomach growled again. “Now, I’m hungry.” He was hungry all right, but hungry to taste her – her skin, her quim, her delectable juices. But spaghetti would have to do.

She noticed the garment bags on the sofa as they made their way to the kitchen. “Did you bring a few changes of clothes for the club or are you moving in? I mean, it was just a kiss – a good kiss, but not an invitation.” Her tone was jovial.

“Those are gifts from Daphne. After she watched the video of our performance, she texted me and asked if you might be back on stage again. I told her I’d hoped you would, and she reached out to one of her colleagues in Hollywood and ordered a few outfits for you. I haven’t seen them, so don’t blame or credit me.”

With a squeal, she gathered the bags and ran upstairs to take a look, returning several minutes later, still smiling.

After dinner, they worked on If I Didn’t Know Better. Just a start. He wants it to be a duet with her and hey agree to record it as a duet but keep it flexible to be a solo. He envisions two guitars, a bass, and drums, maybe some piano. The lyrics work better as a duet, so they create a solo version.

She’s performing with him at the club again tonight. Colin had changed in the guest room and waited as Penelope walked downstairs wearing a tight black mini dress with a scoop neckline. The whole dress is covered in silver metal fringe. Her hair is down in waves, lips painted red, silvery glimmer eyeshadow on her lids. She looked gorgeous.

“Wow, Pen. Could we add another occasion to the kissing tradition? Like when one of us is gobsmacked with how incredible the other one looks?” He just needed to kiss her again.

“No way. I’ll get this lipstick all over you and have to redo the makeup.” Ooomph. Did he tell her the red lipstick marking fantasy of his? 

She accompanied him to the club and performed Lately with him to a bigger audience and boisterous applause.

Over the next several days, they finished both songs, including the parts he wrote for other musicians. They followed their new tradition with a kiss at the start and finish of writing each song, and somehow it just felt natural.

They spent part of the weekend singing and songwriting and part of it back at Griffith Park, visiting the zoo and the Autrey Museum of the American West. Penelope decided they both needed cowboy boots, so they headed to Boot Star in West Hollywood. Colin bought a pair of classic black boots with silver tips. Colin was surprised that Penelope chose something with bling – white boots with glittered inlay and crystals. Colin paid for both while Penelope was looking at hats, saying it was a thank you for sharing her poetry. As they were leaving the clerk asked about the date of their wedding.

“Wedding?” They both said at the same time. The clerk answered, “My mistake, the white boots are usually for brides.”

They both blushed. “I just liked the color and the sparkles.” Colin kissed the top of her head. “We’ll be back for the white, lacy hat when she says yes.” He loved the shocked look on Penelope’s face.

A week later, they performed If I Didn’t Know Better at the club to rave reviews.

PENELOPE

If I didn't know better
I'd hang my coat right there

If I didn't know better
I'd follow you up the stairs

PENELOPE with COLIN harmonizing

Stop saying those sweet things
You know I like to hear
The horns are blowing louder
Reality police drawing near

Why do I keep drinking
Wasting my time on you
If I didn't know better
Well damnit, I do

COLIN

There's a hole in what you're saying
I can plainly see
You have a lover that's waiting

But baby you’re right here with me

PENELOPE

You might as well be the devil
Keeping me out past three  

COLIN
You’re the one with that apple

So baby you can't blame me

Why don't you keep drinking
Give me one night with you

PENELOPE
If I didn't know better
Well damnit, I do

Oh baby I do

COLIN
Baby, you’re right here with me

PENELOPE
Sweet baby, you know I do

*

Colin contacted Marcus Anderson to let him know that they have three songs ready. He brought the music to the studio so that he and the band – both Lukes and others from the studio – could record the instrumentals. Penelope joined them later to record the vocals, since all three songs are being recorded as duets.

Colin didn’t expect Penelope to be so nervous. They’d started with Lately, which she’d now performed several times on stage, with a microphone. But something about wearing the headset, hearing the music through it instead of their own instruments, hearing Colin’s voice through the headset, and seeing the faces of the sound engineers and Marcus through the glass was throwing her off.

They’d started and stopped more than 20 times, and she was getting more and more flustered. Colin felt awful about putting her through this. This isn’t why she came to California. It’s not fair to her.

He suggested a break and walked outside with Penelope for some fresh air. He tried to gather her into a hug, but she pushed him away. “I can’t do this, Colin. I’m sorry. I’m ruining this for you!”

“You’re not! You just need to step away a moment. It’s my fault. I’ve recorded before and should have prepared you better.” He reached for her again, but she moved further away and was typing something on her phone.

“I can’t do it, Col. Please just record them as solos.” He didn’t want to do that. He’d arranged the instrumentals for two singers and she made the music so much better.

“Please, Pen. Come back in and try one more time. I’ll talk you through it.” He kept his distance but could see that she was still spiraling.

“I’m so sorry, Colin. I know I’m letting you down. I’d do anything for you. Anything. But I’m just making things worse for you.” Tears were streaming down her face, and he wanted to crumple onto the ground for causing her so much stress and pain.

A black SUV pulled up. “That’s my Uber. I’m sorry, Colin.” He watched helplessly as she climbed into the back seat and rode away.

The poem If I Didn’t Know Better is based on the song of the same name from the series, Nashville, written by John Paul Write and Aron Rae. You can see the performance by Claire Bowen and Sam Palladio on YouTube