Chapter Text
CW: Language, Mention of medical treatment for queerness and forced outing, Internalized homophobia
Remus
The library was unusually quiet for a Monday afternoon. Remus is sitting at his usual table towards the back behind one of the large bookshelves. His last class of the day finished about half an hour ago, but he has an essay for charms due later this week and wants to get a head start on it. He’s not one to procrastinate as he prefers to get things done as quickly as possible so that he has more time to spend with Sirius and his friends. So here he is, hunched over a large piece of parchment with a quill in hand, focusing intently on his work.
He considered dropping charms this year, but even though it’s not his favorite, it’s still his best subject. He finds it rather easy—likely due to his heightened abilities as a werewolf—so, he’s confident he’ll receive an Outstanding in it. He has every year prior, after all.
Because of his lycanthropy, he has to work twice as hard as everyone else to get anywhere in life. The wizarding world doesn’t take kindly to werewolves, so he has to achieve the highest marks possible in order to even have a chance at getting a job upon graduating. It’s not fair in the slightest, but it’s still the reality. So, he spends a large amount of his time studying, and if not studying, reading.
After attending Hogwarts for over five years now, Remus has probably read at least half of the books in the library. This in itself is no small feat—The Hogwarts library has thousands of books lining the towering shelves.
However, Remus hasn’t always loved to read—But, this wasn’t for lack of trying. When he first arrived at Hogwarts at eleven years old, he was so severely dyslexic that he was unable to read a simple paragraph. His handwriting was incredibly messy, resembling that of a toddler just learning to write their name. He had a few tutors in primary school that worked with him to improve, but no one ever seemed to know how to help properly. This led to him feeling extremely behind and embarrassed when he started first year.
For a while he tried to hide it, but it became apparent to him almost immediately that he wouldn’t be able to complete any of his schoolwork. By the second week, he had reached a breaking point—He sobbed into James’ arms for hours feeling incredibly small and ashamed as he explained to him what was going on. But, James being James didn’t judge him in the slightest. Instead, he worked night and day for weeks learning a spell that when casted on a piece of reading material, would allow Remus to hear the words aloud in his head.
The first time Remus was able to read a copy of The Daily Prophet at breakfast, James had to escort him out of the Great Hall where he then proceeded to sob in his arms once again. From then on, he set out on a mission to read anything he could get his hands on. Even if it was about something he wasn’t the least bit interested in, he still read it anyways, simply because he could. Over time, he learned to read without the help of the spell, and no one was ever the wiser for it.
This entire ordeal solidified for Remus what kind of friend James was to him, and to this day, James has never told another soul about it. Remus eventually opened up to Sirius at the end of fourth year, but he and James are still the only ones who know. He had thought about telling other people before, but it just never came up—It’s not really an easy topic of conversation.
Almost as if he was summoned by Remus’ thoughts, James strolls casually up to his table, plopping down in the seat across from him.
“Hiya, Moony! What are you working on?” James asks, his voice an octave too loud, causing Madam Pince to glare at him over her glasses.
Remus looks up at him then. It’s strange seeing James in the library, especially this early in the term. He rarely studies—and usually crams out his homework the night before it’s due—but somehow he still manages to get near perfect marks in everything. It’s annoying, really.
“Just my charms essay,” He replies before raising an eyebrow. “What are you doing down here? Is there an exam I don’t know about?”
James shakes his head. “Nah. Just bored…Pete’s somewhere with Des, and Sirius is taking a nap. The queen had to catch up on her beauty sleep, you know how it is,” He says, rolling his eyes playfully.
This earns a chuckle from Remus. “That I do,” He says with a fond smile.
“Ugh, Moony, you are so sickeningly in love it’s disgusting!” James whisper shouts, reaching up to rub his temples.
Remus’ face turns bright red at James’ words. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, but nothing comes out.
James raises both eyebrows. “Wait…Don’t tell me you two haven’t said ‘I love you’ yet,” He says, covering his mouth with his hand dramatically.
Remus hesitates. “I—We haven’t even been together for three months. It’s still early…”
“But you’ve known him for five years before that,” he challenges.
Remus flounders for a moment, but doesn’t know what to say. He does have a point.
James leans forward slightly with a knowing look. “But you do, though,” He says softly, tilting his head. “Love him.”
Suddenly, Remus isn’t sure why he was so taken aback by James’ words. Because, of course, he loves Sirius. Loving Sirius is as easy as breathing. Loving Sirius is being set free and being held together at the same time. It’s terrifying, wonderful, and utterly inescapable. It’s not always easy, but it’s always worth it.
Remus sets down his quill, meeting James’ eyes with an easy confidence. “Of course I do,” He says with a small smile. “Have for years.”
James stares back at him as a cheesy grin spreads across his face. “Of course you do…So why not tell him?”
Remus scoffs. Does he really think it’s that simple? “I can’t…Do you remember how awkward things were between us before we got together?”
“How could I forget,” James snorts. “That was incredibly entertaining.”
He rolls his eyes. “If I tell him, and he doesn’t say it back…It’s going to be just as awkward again—If not more so,” He sighs. “Things are going so well right now, I can’t risk that.”
“Oh, Moony,” James starts, “For someone that’s so good at reading people, you are an idiot.”
Remus scowls at him. “Wow. Okay…” He says before crossing his arms.
James smiles at him, ignoring his defensiveness. “He’s going to say it back, you know…He definitely loves you too.”
“Did he tell you that?” He asks with a raised eyebrow.
James shakes his head. “No. But he doesn’t have to…I know he does. With the way he looks at you, there’s no question. You’ve got nothing to worry about, Moony,” He says genuinely.
Remus can’t help it as his lips twitch in a faint smile. Realistically, he knows James is probably right. He knows Sirius probably feels the same way, but that doesn’t make it any less scary to take the leap. He silently makes a goal for himself to rip the bandaid off and say those three words by Sirius’ birthday. That seems like a fair deadline—He can manage that.
Remus shakes his head fondly. “Alright, enough about my love life…I need to finish this essay. So, either grab something to study, or piss off.”
James snorts before reaching into his bag and pulling out his own sheet of parchment and a quill. They work in silence for a while, both of them scribbling away at their essays. But eventually, Remus notices a tapping sound coming from James’ side of the table. He tries to ignore it, and it stops after a moment, only to pick back up again a minute later. Remus looks up to see James tapping his quill rhythmically on the edge of the table while squirming in his seat.
“Prongs, shut the fuck up,” Remus hisses.
“Huh?” James freezes mid-tap, offering Remus a sheepish grin. “Oh…Sorry.”
A few more minutes of silent work pass. Remus is about halfway done with his essay when he begins to feel the table shaking slightly. James is tapping his leg incessantly, causing his knee to vibrate the table.
Remus looks up at him then, no longer able to stand it. “James, your fidgeting is driving me insane,” He deadpans. “Clearly you can’t focus, so what’s going on?”
“Shit, sorry,” He apologizes before his expression turns softer. “Was just thinking about yesterday…Me and Regulus are friends now.”
Remus’ eyebrows shoot up in his hairline. “Really? How’d you convince him to do that?”
James smirks, leaning back in his chair as if savoring the moment. “Oh, you know me, Moony. I’m charming as hell. Practically irresistible.”
Remus rolls his eyes. “Sure, Prongs. Did you charm him, or did you annoy him into submission?”
“Bit of both, probably.” James grins, but there’s a fondness in his tone that softens the usual bravado. “Nah. I apologized for going to Dumbledore about the whole moving houses thing…Then I just asked him to be my friend,” He says with a shrug.
“You just...asked him to be your friend?” Remus parrots skeptically.
James grins back at him. “And get this—he said yes .”
Remus raises his eyebrows in surprise but he waits for James to continue.
“He was trying to figure out if I was taking the piss for a while there,” James chuckles softly. “But then we talked for a bit and he came around. He’s smart. And not in a boring way, but, like... sharp. Witty. He’s got this dry sense of humor that sneaks up on you. And he’s... I don’t know. He’s got a lot more going on inside than he lets on…”
Remus tilts his head slightly as he studies him for a moment.
“I invited him to Sirius’ birthday—And he said he’d come,” he pauses. “Before you ask, he only agreed to the party because I said we’d get him a costume so no one would know it’s him. He turned down my princess dress idea, though.” A fond smile crosses his face then, and Remus doesn’t miss the way his cheeks pink up.
Holy Shit. There’s no fucking way—
He doesn’t say anything for a moment as he processes the revelation that’s just occurred to him.
James likes Regulus.
He can’t help it as his eyes narrow and a wicked smirk crosses his face. “That’s a shame…I bet you would’ve loved to see him in a dress,” He says suggestively.
James begins choking on air, stiffening in his seat as his face and neck turn a brilliant shade of red. “I—I didn’t mean it like that!” He flounders. Remus can tell he’s trying to cover his tracks, not expecting him to read into that statement anymore than as a joke.
Remus leans back in his chair, thoroughly enjoying the opportunity for payback after the hell James put him and Sirius through over the summer. “Oh, I think you absolutely meant it like that,” he teases, crossing his arms. “You’ve been talking about him like the sun shines out of his ass for the past five minutes.”
James glares at him, though the effect is ruined by his still-burning cheeks. “I was just being nice!” he protests.
Oh , but Remus isn’t letting him off that easy. Instead of saying anything, he just holds James’ gaze with a shit-eating grin, knowing that he’ll crack like an egg in three…two…one—
James huffs, crossing his arms. “Alright, alright! I like him, okay? Are you happy now?” He throws his hands in the air dramatically, though the blush on his face deepens.
“Ecstatic actually. This is far better than anything I could’ve hoped for. Sirius is going to lose his shit when he finds out,” He says, the same grin still present on his face.
James freezes, his eyes widening in horror. “You can’t tell Sirius!”
“Oh, why ever not?” Remus asks, feigning innocence. “I’m sure he’d be delighted to know his best friend fancies his little brother .”
In the next moment, James is out of his seat, stomping over to the other side of the table before sitting down aggressively and pulling the chair right next to Remus. James latches on tightly to Remus’ shoulder with one hand and points directly at his face with the other as to try and get his point across. “Remus, I swear to fuck you cannot tell him,” He warns, but Remus doesn’t miss the hint of fear in his voice.
Remus’ face turns softer as James is clearly really stressed about this. “Relax, Prongs,” He says gently, reaching up to grab James’ hand out of his face and giving it a squeeze. “I’m not going to tell him. Besides, there’s nothing to tell right now anyways…It’s just a crush.”
James visibly relaxes at his words, sinking down in his chair before putting his face in his hands. “This is the worst,” he mumbles. “What am I going to do?”
Remus reaches up and rests his hand on James’ back comfortingly. “Well, first off, you’re not going to panic. That’s a terrible strategy. Second, you’re going to stop sulking and start thinking about what you actually want,” His words are blunt, but he softens them with a gentle tone.
James peeks through his fingers. “What I want ? I want this to not be happening. That’d be nice.”
Remus snorts. “Right, because feelings are known for being convenient,” He quips. “But seriously, do you actually want to do something about it? Or is this just one of those passing crushes that’ll disappear if you ignore it long enough?”
James is quiet for a moment, running a hand through his hair. “I mean, crushes for me don’t really just disappear,” he admits. “I don’t really know if I’m going to like someone in that way until I get to know them, and then by that point I’m too far gone.” He drops his face back in his hands again.
Remus begins rubbing circles on his back. “Oh, Prongs, you got it bad, don’t you?”
James just groans dramatically.
“Do you…think he might feel the same?” Remus asks cautiously. He’s not sure if Regulus is queer, but he’d be lying if he said he didn’t have his suspicions after some of the conversations they’ve had.
James looks up at him, but hesitates slightly. “I–I think he might. But I’m not sure.”
Remus smiles at him gently. “You want my advice? Don’t rush it. Be his friend first…If it turns into something more, great. If not, at least you’ll have gained a new friend—and someone who clearly fascinates you, if the way you’ve been talking about him is any indication,” he says with a smirk before his expression turns more sincere. “But if it does go any further…You need to tell Sirius. Sooner rather than later. You know how protective he is over Regulus. It will only get worse for you if he’s not one of the first people to know.”
James lets out a long breath, leaning back in his chair. “Yeah... yeah, okay. I can do that. Friends first.” He pauses, then narrows his eyes at Remus. “You’re not going to let me live this down, are you?”
“Not a chance,” Remus replies, his grin returning.
“Fan-fucking-tastic,” James deadpans.
Remus huffs out a laugh. “You realize we’ve both got it bad for the Black brothers, right? Talk about keeping it in the family.”
James groans before dropping his forehead down on the table with a thump. “Shit.”
Later that night, the dorm room is quiet as Remus listens to the gentle sound of Sirius’ breathing. Remus smiles softly to himself as he looks down at the boy in his arms, curled into his chest as the faint moonlight casts over his angel-like features. Describing Sirius’ physical beauty is like trying to put the stars into words. It is other-worldly. The masculine sharp edges of his jawline and cheekbones are perfectly balanced by the more feminine curve of his lips and the long black curls that rest just past his shoulders. He is beautifully androgynous in a way Remus has never seen before. His favorite feature, though, is Sirius’ eyes. Despite not being able to see them as he sleeps, Remus can picture them perfectly. The dusty gray ring around his pupils that bleed into blue the color of the ocean—Not light blue like a tropical beach, but the color of the dark blue waters of the deep. The image of them is burned into his mind from years of being unable to avoid drowning in them.
There are black smudges of eyeliner running along his eyelids leftover from the day. Sirius has slowly begun wearing more makeup over the years—At first, only when the girls would do it for him at school. Now, though, he wears it almost every day, his earlier routine of simply eyeliner and nail varnish now accompanied by more eye shadows and the occasional lip gloss. He’s gotten some stares and a few rogue comments from other students about it, but most people tend to leave him alone—Remus suspects this might be due to them witnessing him deck Barty for calling Sirius slurs on the first day back, but he can’t be totally sure. Regardless, Sirius seems to be unfazed by other’s opinions about it. He can tell Sirius enjoys it and it makes him feel pretty and confident—And Remus absolutely loves that. But he would be lying if he said he didn’t also find it incredibly attractive.
He runs his thumb gently over the ridges of Sirius’ shoulder blades, tracing the patterns of his freckles like constellations. Sirius had once told Remus that his scars were like constellations, and that was the moment he knew he would love this boy for the rest of his life. He loves everything about him: the way he smiles, the way he fights for what he believes in, the way he manages to be both infuriating and irresistible in equal measure. But most of all, he loves the way Sirius makes him feel like he is someone worth loving in return.
Looking down at him now, bathed in moonlight, Remus knows he will never tire of this view. If he could freeze time and live in this moment forever, he would, because in this quiet, sacred space, the world and all its chaos couldn’t touch them. He cranes his head slightly to press a soft kiss in his hair, breathing him in—His lavender shower gel and coconut hair cream combining into a scent that makes Remus’ stomach flutter. Those three little words bounce around in his chest like a promise. He’s going to tell him. But for now, he just enjoys this gentle peace.
Somewhere around midnight, Remus is still unable to sleep. He’s not particularly stressed or anxious—This just happens sometimes, especially as the full moons grow closer. It’s almost like the wolf inside him can sense the growing amount of moonlight and is eager to witness it.
With a sigh he carefully attempts to slide out from underneath Sirius without waking him. This plan fails, though, when Sirius stirs slightly, blinking his eyes open sleepily.
“You okay?” He mumbles.
Remus reaches down to caress his check, placing a gentle kiss on his forehead. “Yeah, baby,” He whispers. “Just having trouble sleeping. Gonna go for a walk down to the kitchens for some tea.”
Sirius nods into Remus’ hand. “Kay…The map and cloak are in James’ trunk,” His eyes flutter shut again. “Don’t be gone long, It’s cold,” He whines before burrowing into the warm spot of the bed where Remus had previously been.
Remus pulls up the covers over him, tucking them gently around his body. “I won’t be,” He assures before pressing a kiss to his lips and closing the bed curtains behind him.
The cold night air bites at his bare chest, causing goosebumps to prickle his skin. He’s usually very careful about wearing a shirt around the dorm to cover his scars, but he knows from the snoring coming from the opposite sides of the room that James and Pete are sound asleep. He quickly throws on his jumper and shoes before padding over to James’ trunk, opening it quietly and throwing the cloak over himself.
He opens the map and checks the surrounding corridors as well as his route down to the kitchens before his eyes land on the Astronomy Tower. Regulus is up there again, as he often is at this hour.
Since their first meeting at the start of the term, Remus has visited Regulus in the tower several times after. Remus has grown rather fond of him, and would even go as far as to call them friends now. Sometimes they talk about heavy topics, other times they simply sit in shared silence, finding an easy comfort in each other’s presence. He thinks this time together has been good for Regulus, as Remus has started to realize that he doesn’t really have any other friends apart from him—And now James, apparently. But over time, Remus has realized that their friendship has become just as beneficial to him as well. Regulus has a way of making silence feel meaningful rather than uncomfortable. And when they do talk, the depth of their conversations often leave Remus feeling as though he’s learned something new—not just about Regulus, but about himself, as well. Regulus has a quiet kind of brilliance, a sharpness of mind that Remus admires deeply.
Remus also can’t help but notice how much of Sirius he sees in Regulus—not in the obvious ways, but the subtle ones. Perhaps that’s why Remus feels so drawn to him; the same fiery and stubborn personalities are so similar, yet present themselves in very different ways. While it makes things a little complicated at times, it also makes Remus all the more determined to be the friend Regulus deserves.
He quickly checks over his route on the map one more time before placing it firmly under his arm and leaving the room. He heads down to the kitchen first to grab two cups of tea, casting a warming charm over them before making his way up to the Astronomy Tower.
When he pushes his way through the tower door, Regulus is in his usual spot, leaning against the stone parapet. He glances toward Remus, but looks around confused for a moment before Remus realizes he’s still wearing the cloak. He pulls it off quickly, watching as Regulus’ eyes go wide for half a second.
“I’ll never get used to you idiots having one of those,” Regulus says calmly as he turns back towards the sky.
Remus chuckles softly before he walks over to Regulus, handing him a mug of tea and settling in his own usual spot beside him.
“Thanks, Remus,” He replies kindly. That’s another thing, Regulus finally started calling him by his first name. If that doesn’t mean they’re friends now then he doesn’t know what does.
They sit in companionable silence for a while as they watch the stars. Despite having warm mugs of tea, Remus decides the October air is a bit too cold, so he casts a warming charm over both of them. Regulus glances at him for a moment, nodding in thanks before turning away again.
Regulus looks contemplative, his sharp features softened by an undercurrent of sadness. Remus notices the way his fingers tighten slightly around the mug, signalling that there’s something going on inside him. He waits, giving Regulus the space to speak if he wants to.
Eventually, he breaks the silence. “Remus…can I ask you something?”
Remus turns his shoulders to face him. “Of course.”
Regulus hesitates, his gaze still fixed on the stars. “How did you…know?”
The vague words hang heavy in the air, but Remus understands immediately what he’s getting at. He’s been asked this question several times throughout his life, and it often makes him giggle internally, because a straight person would never be asking this. But with Regulus—the way his voice sounds so small, and the way he’s unable to meet Remus’ eyes—he feels a tinge of sadness. He remembers so clearly when Sirius was struggling with this, and he recognizes the same expressions in Regulus now.
“That I’m gay?” He replies softly.
Regulus nods, but doesn’t say anything as he waits for Remus to answer.
He takes a moment to gather his thoughts. “I think I knew subconsciously since I was really young, but I didn’t fully understand until around third year,” He says, taking a sip of his tea as he considers his next words. “It wasn’t easy to figure out. There wasn’t exactly a guidebook or anything. But it was little things… how I felt when certain people looked at me, or when I looked at them. It scared me at first, but it also…made sense, in a way nothing else did.”
Regulus is quiet for a long time as he traces the rim of his cup with a trembling finger. He looks deeply conflicted and more anxious than Remus has ever seen him. Eventually, he lets out a shaky breath. “I–I just…” He starts before shaking his head firmly and beginning to stand. “Nevermind. I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything—”
Remus reaches out and grabs his hand before he can get away. “Wait, Regulus,” He says gently. “Please sit down. You don’t have to say anything…But I’m here. You can tell me what’s going on.” Regulus looks down at him and Remus doesn’t miss the tears in his eyes. “I might be able to help.”
Regulus looks between Remus and the door, clearly debating whether or not to run away. But after a few moments, he takes a deep, trembling breath before moving to sit back down. He sits slightly closer to Remus this time, his tea left abandoned a few feet away. He wraps his arms around his knees, burying his head between them. Several moments pass, and just when Remus is starting to accept that Regulus isn’t going to speak, he looks up towards him, though not quite looking him in the eye.
“I told you before about what happened this summer,” He starts, voice barely above a whisper. “...that I said some things I wasn’t ready to say under the Veritaserum.” Regulus leans his head back against the parapet and looks straight up, seemingly trying to keep tears from spilling over. “I said that I feel things I’m not supposed to…about boys,” He chokes out as a tear falls down his cheek. “Mother said they would be getting me medical treatment…and that they would prepare me to take a wife.”
Remus can’t even begin to describe the anger that’s boiling under his skin right now. A fierce wave of protectiveness over Regulus washes over him after hearing what their horrific excuse for a mother said to him. No one should ever hear something like that, especially from someone who is supposed to be their parent. Despite how he’s feeling, he shoves his anger down as it would not be beneficial to this conversation right now.
“Regulus,” Remus said softly, his heart breaking at the sight of him. “Can I hug you?”
He hesitates, and for a moment, Remus thinks he’s going to say no. But then he nods, just once, and Remus sets his mug aside, shifting closer to wrap his arms around him. Regulus stiffens at first, but slowly relaxes into him before his shoulders begin to shake with silent sobs.
“There’s nothing wrong with you,” Remus says firmly into his hair. “Nothing. People like your mother… they’re wrong and ignorant. Who you like isn’t something that can or should be changed.”
Regulus clings to him, head burying into his chest as the walls he so carefully maintained crumble in the safety of Remus’ arms. He can’t help but think about how similar this moment is to when Sirius came out to him. It is incredibly difficult to watch as the years of trauma inflicted on both of them become apparent in times like this. It makes his heart ache with sadness and anger that such incredible people had to go through something like that.
“Have they done anything to you?” Remus asks cautiously, his voice tight with barely restrained emotion.
Regulus shakes his head slightly against Remus’ chest, his voice muffled. “No. Not yet.” He replies, his breath hitching as he tries to hold back another sob. “But I’m scared, Remus.”
Remus lets out a slow breath, trying to quell the rage bubbling inside him. “It’s not going to happen. You’re not alone in this, Regulus. I promise.”
It’s quiet for a few moments before Regulus speaks again. “I don’t know how to be okay with…with feeling this way,” He whispers. “How did you?”
“It takes time…But I’ve found people that love and accept me for who I am, and that’s made it a lot easier,” he says, squeezing Regulus’ shoulder gently. “And now, you have so many people that want to be that for you—Sirius, Alphard, James…and me, too, if you’ll let me.”
Regulus pulls away from him slightly to meet his gaze for the first time in a while. His eyes are red from crying, and he looks utterly exhausted. “Thank you,” He says genuinely before curling back into Remus’ chest again.
Remus feels like they’ve just had a massive breakthrough in their friendship. Coming into this conversation, he was pretty sure that they could be considered friends, but after this, he’s positive they are. Regulus has always had a sort of prickly exterior, and avoids letting people get too close—He doesn’t trust easily. So, Remus feels incredibly grateful that Regulus trusts him enough to let down his guard and share something so deeply personal. It feels like a privilege to be let into this part of Regulus’ world, especially knowing how difficult it must have been for him to open up.
They sit together in the quiet of the Astronomy Tower for what feels like hours, the stars twinkling above them as Regulus’ breathing gradually evens out. Remus doesn’t let go, holding him as if he can shield him from the weight of his fears and the cruelty of the world waiting below. They’ve never hugged before now—let alone touched in any capacity—but in this moment it feels perfectly natural, and Remus can tell that Regulus really needed it.
Eventually Regulus begins to stir, sitting up slightly, but still pressed against Remus’ side. “I’m sorry,” He murmurs, his voice hoarse from crying.
Remus tilts his head. “For what?”
“For falling apart like this.” Regulus’ cheeks flush slightly, and he fidgets with the hem of his sleeve. “It’s not like me.”
Remus shakes his head. “You don’t have to apologize for being human, Regulus. It’s okay to feel things, even if it’s hard. Especially if it’s hard.”
Comfortable silence settles over them again and Remus picks up his tea to take another sip before trying to change to a lighter subject.
“I heard you’re coming to Sirius’ birthday,” He says with a friendly smile.
Regulus’ lips twitch slightly. “Yeah…I think I’d like to.”
“Sirius is really excited to have you there,” he says softly. “He’s really missed you. I can tell he’s happy to have you back in his life.”
“I’ve missed him, too,” he whispers. “More than I think I even realized.”
Remus squeezes his shoulder. “I bet it would be good for you…to do something that you want to do for a change,” he starts. “Even with a costume on, you can still be more yourself—Let your hair down a bit, so to speak.”
Regulus contemplates Remus’ words for a moment. “No princess dresses, though,” he retorts, rolling his eyes playfully.
Remus can’t help the snort that escapes him, just like he can’t help the next words that leave his mouth. “Aww, but James will be so disappointed.”
Regulus’ head snaps up towards him then, his cheeks turning bright red. “Remus, what the fuck are you talking about?”
He tilts his head slightly. “Just heard you two were friends now…” Remus just stares back at him with a small knowing smile as the unspoken words settle between them. After a moment, Regulus groans before dropping his face in his hands and leaning back into Remus’ side.
Remus pats his head comfortingly. “Relax, It’s alright. I’m not going to say anything.”
“How did you know?” Regulus mumbles.
He smiles softly before taking another sip of tea. “I had my suspicions…” He says vaguely, not wanting to give anything away from his conversation with James earlier. “But, for what it’s worth, he does talk about you…very highly, actually.”
Regulus reaches up to rub his eyes with a groan. “Ugh, Remus, this is the worst. What am I going to do?”
Remus huffs out a laugh as he recalls how James had said the exact same thing earlier. “It’s nice to have people who see you for who you really are. And James…he’s good at that,” he says with a light smile. “Even if it’s just as friends, I think he’s good for you—I think you’re good for him, too.”
“I’m not very good at friends,” Regulus says skeptically.
“Sure you are. You’re good at being my friend.”
Regulus scoffs lightly. “Well, that’s because I’ve trauma dumped on you more than I’d like to admit, so I have to keep you around…You know too much now,” He jokes.
Remus smacks him on the shoulder playfully. “Mhmmm, sure…I know you secretly enjoy hanging out with me.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” He says, mouth twitching slightly.
“No, but seriously,” Remus starts, voice more sincere. “The secret to friendships and relationships is just being vulnerable—Letting your guard down once in a while, and allowing someone see what’s going on underneath the surface.”
“You make that sound so easy,” he pauses. “Tell me something about you…something I don’t know.”
Remus rubs his chin for a moment in consideration before he realizes exactly what he wants to share. “When I first started school here, I couldn’t read.” Regulus’ eyebrows raise, but he lets Remus continue. “I was extremely dyslexic and could barely even write my own name. James came up with a spell that helped me to hear the words aloud in my head. Took me a couple years after that to be able to read properly without it.”
Regulus stares back at him, mouth agape. “Wow…I never would’ve suspected that. I guess it makes sense why you’re always reading so much now?”
“Yeah. Now that I can, it’s like I don’t really want to take it for granted, you know? James and Sirius are the only other people who know about it.”
Regulus smiles. “Thanks for telling me.”
Remus nods before tilting his head slightly. “I know being vulnerable doesn’t come naturally to you. It’s been drilled into you your entire life that you have to play a certain role in your family. That you have to keep up a certain image, even though it’s not who you really are,” he says gently before taking a sip of tea. “I know it’s hard, but you’ve opened up to me, and I really appreciate you trusting me enough to do that.”
Regulus looks up to meet his eyes. “I think you’re the first friend I’ve ever had that actually understands me…and I really appreciate you, too.”
Remus pulls him in tighter to his side, and he goes willingly. After a few moments Regulus huffs out a laugh. “Fuck, this has gotten really sappy.”
Remus snorts. “Embrace it, Regulus…you know you love it.”
“Shut up,” He bites jokingly before his tone turns softer again. “Thank you…for being here.”
Remus smiles at him genuinely. “Always.”