Chapter Text
( prologue. )
❝ it was enchanting to meet you. ❞
•• ━━ ••●•• ━━ ••
SPENCER REID WAS IN LOVE.
Which, statistically speaking, was impossible. On average, Spencer knew it took men around eighty-eight days to fall in love with another person. Generally, Spencer wasn't one to argue with statistics; unlike people, they were reliable. They didn't change at the drop of a hat and once he understood one, it was easy to understand the rest of them. He knew statistics better than the back of his hand; they were always fun to rattle off to the team, even if they didn't always enjoy listening to them. Statistics and numbers were comfortable, they'd never proved him wrong before. But for the first time in his life, Spencer knew the statistics surrounding love were wrong.
Because what should have taken him eighty-eight days to do, his heart had accomplished in twenty seconds.
True, he had always been a very advanced student, his academic brain progressing much faster than the average person - he'd walked through high school at the tender age of twelve, and now at twenty-three, he already had three PHDs under his belt. Sure, Spencer had always been ahead of the curve when it came to meeting scholarly milestones, but even he knew it was impossible to fall in love that quickly. As he was well aware, the heart and the brain were two different things, one he excelled at, the other... not so much.
Each and every day, his brain was able to recite statistics he'd memorised, read thousands of words within a matter of minutes and use multiple degrees and doctorates to help solve the most gruesome of crimes not even his nightmares could make up. Knowledge was something he understood.
Love, on the other hand, was something completely foreign to him.
While he'd never been in love before, he was sure he knew what it felt like. Growing up, he had read all about the subject, from Shakespeare's sonnets he had learned to impress his school crush, to the Chaucer his mother used to read him before bed. Words that people would use to describe all the different ways a person could feel one emotion. When he was younger, he would delicately trace the words with his fingertips, longing for the words that would one day resonate with his own love life. For a love that consumed his very being - his heart and soul so entwined with another person that they truly became one being.
Just because the only love he knew was from his mother, it didn't mean he didn't want to fall in love. As a boy he had longed for a lover, for someone to understand him. To truly see him and still stick around. To love him despite all his flaws. When he closed his eyes, he tried to imagine what such a lover would be like. And it was the only time his impossibly big brain couldn't fathom an answer.
But now, after twenty-three years of searching, he knew.
The love of Spencer Reid's life was stood right in front of him. After a lifetime of searching, scouring the planet for an answer to his unfulfilled question, he finally knew what his future looked like. She was average height, blonde, pale, and he was sure if he were to describe her to anyone else, they would simply brush her off as an average woman. But to Spencer, she was gorgeous. An angel that had stepped right out his dreams and into the bullpen - if only for the large smile adorning her perfect face. He'd never seen anyone so happy to be entering the BAU before, yet here she was, a smile as bright as the sunflowers in her arms.
Never had he loved a smile so much; in fact, it seemed impossible to draw his gaze from it, his mind stuck in a trance as he imagined all the ways he could be the cause of her smile. All the jokes and loving gestures he could offer to elicit such a grin from the woman.
Falling in love so quickly went against everything he believed in - hell the statistics told him it was impossible - yet here he was, madly in love with a woman whose name he didn't even know. In fact, had he not looked up to reply to his colleague, Spencer would have completely missed the woman he was going to marry.
Due to the cold October breeze outside, she had a yellow coat wrapped around her figure. Mixed with her honey blonde hair, that hung down her shoulders and the sunflowers in her arms, she was the brightest thing in the office, almost like the sun, sent to brighten up Spencer's dark, greying life. Everything about her was bright and vibrant, as if all she knew was happiness and joy.
Without touching the delicate strands of hair, Spencer knew it would be the softest thing his slender fingers would ever have the privilege of holding. In fact, his hands felt so dry and cracked, he wasn't sure if he would even be worthy of touching her.
From the distance between them, Spencer couldn't make out the exact shade of her eyes, but they were bright and eager, and already his new favourite colour. They were darting around the bullpen, looking for someone specific.
He wished it was him she was looking for.
He'd been searching for her his whole life.
In his lovestruck gaze, Spencer had seemingly forgotten that he had only glanced up to answer the question his friend had asked him. Something about their last case for the paperwork he was filling out, but Spencer's usually brilliant mind had gone blank. Any sort of knowledge had been replaced with thoughts of that woman.
"Oi! Pretty Boy!" Derek Morgan snapped his fingers in Spencer's face, noticing he had lost the young doctor's attention, "You were saying?"
Still stuck in a trance, Spencer did not give a proper reply, instead just muttering a noise that sounded like words, but nothing that answered the question Derek had asked just a moment before. Never one to give up, Derek tried again, now curious as to what had taken up his friend's attention.
"What's gotten your attention?" The agent asked, turning his head to follow Spencer's gaze, when he saw her. Instantly, he knew what Spencer's mind had decided was more important than answering his question. "Oh," Derek spun back on his chair, a grin on his face, "I get it. You know, I forget you're a man sometimes, Reid."
Finally, Spencer seemed to snap his gaze away from his love, and back to his friend, brown eyes wide with shock.
"What do you mean?" He rushed out, voice high pitched and squeaky.
"Somebody's in love," Derek almost sung, jumping at the opportunity to tease his friend - as he always did.
"No I'm not," Spencer denied, his eyes scanning back to the mystery woman, "In love with who?"
As soon as the words left his mouth, Spencer knew he shouldn't have asked such a question, the type of question that gave Derek ammunition to tease him.
"You know exactly who," Derek answered, the grin still prominent on his face, "Average height. Blonde. Currently holding a bunch of flowers. Literally a woman you have never met before. You don't even know her name."
That was all true. Here, Spencer was, declaring himself in love, and he didn't even know the name of the woman who owned his heart.
"Well it seems like you're about to find out, Lover Boy," Derek spoke, the teasing lilt still rife within his voice.
Once again, Spencer's head snapped in the opposite direction. It appeared that during Derek's teasing (which had been surprisingly mild compared to what he had been expecting), the woman had begun walking. And not in any direction. In his direction.
Heart hammering in his chest, Spencer felt his palms grow hot and sweaty. Shit, he hadn't prepared to talk to her, just admire her from afar. What was he supposed to say? How was he supposed to say it? Maybe she wouldn't talk to him, maybe she'd walk right past him and start talking to someone else in the office. As soon as he thought it, he realised he didn't want it to be the case. He'd rather embarrass himself rambling utter nonsense than have her walk straight past him. At least that way he could at least say he'd been in her presence.
Luckily for him, she was walking directly towards him, that beautiful smile on her face as she did so.
"Go get her, Pretty Boy," Derek teased, standing up, patting his friend on the back before walking away. Not that he went very far, mindful of remaining in earshot of their conversation, while not obviously eavesdropping. He knew a certain technical analyst that would want to hear all the gossip about this interaction.
With only seconds to prepare himself, Spencer felt the anxiety bubbling within him threatening to spill. No, he thought, I can do this. She's just a beautiful woman, with a perfect smile. And - Oh shit, she's here.
"Hi, I hope you're okay."
And there she was.
A goddess right before his eyes. The most beautiful woman his mind could ever conjure was here, stood in front of him like something from a dream. Somehow, she was prettier up close. Her hair looked fluffier, her skin looked clearer, he could see the outline of freckles dusting along her nose and prominent cheekbones. Now he knew, his favourite colour was green. A light hazel green one would see as the trees began to turn under the autumn sun, flecks of orange scattered throughout. Never had he seen eyes so perfect.
I hope you're okay.
This was the first time he'd ever met this woman, and here she was, his saving angel, asking if he was okay. Of course he was okay, he wanted to shout, she'd finally entered his life. They were words he heard on the daily, whispers of comfort to victims of the most horrendous crimes, but he would never hear them the same. Those words would forever be ingrained in his mind as the first words his soulmate ever blessed him with.
"Me? I-I-I'm great, thank you," Spencer managed to reply, cursing himself for stuttering his way through it, "H-How are you?"
Clearly an extrovert, her smile grew at the question. How he wished he had the confidence to just go up to a stranger and start talking as if they had been friends for years. Then he would been able to approach her, to sweep her off her feet in a wave of love.
"I'm good, thank you," The woman replied, shifting the sunflowers in her arms so she could stick her hand out, "I'm Dani."
Dani.
Dani.
Dani.
Short for Danielle, he assumed. Originated from France, meaning "God is my judge." A strong beautiful name for a woman he knew nothing about, but somehow knew she encompassed both those traits. Names weren't something he had much of an opinion on, but she looked like a Dani. Cheery, bright, happy. His soulmate now had a name; he knew what name he would be pledging his oath to at the altar.
"S-Spencer."
Suddenly it didn't seem to matter that her hand likely had over three thousand different types of germs, or that most of the potential ten million pathogens on her hand resided on the fingertips reaching or towards him or that it would be so much more sanitary for them to just kiss (though he did linger on that thought for a moment.) No, his usual aversion to germs and pathogens and everything he knew could crawl under his skin and expose him to all sorts, seemed to fly out the window as she extended her hand out to him.
Because all he wanted to do was to touch her. To feel how she felt, how soft her skin was, how slender her fingers were, how perfect her hands were. He wanted to commit it to memory and never forget.
"Sorry," He shook his head, ducking his head to hide his blush, before looking back up to see her still smiling, "Spencer. I'm Spencer."
Reaching out, Spencer finally took her hand, gently shaking it, praying he didn't pass out as he finally touched his soulmate. Perhaps his hand lingered longer than was socially acceptable, but he was desperate, like a man in a desert who had finally found clean water; he wanted to make the most of touching her soft, unmarred skin. Most hands were smaller than his, but her's - Dani's - were tiny in comparison, and he wanted to lace his slender fingers between her own and never let go.
"Oh, you're Spencer," She replied, a knowing smile on her face, as she adjusted the bag around her torso, "Nice to finally meet you. I've heard a lot about you - all good things, I promise!"
A small frown graced Spencer's features as she gave a little chuckle, how on earth did she know who he was? And with that, what was she even doing in the bullpen in the first place?
"Sorry to interrupt, I know it's your lunch break and all," She continued, giving no indication that she would tell him how she knew him, or how he was on his long awaited lunch, "But I was wondering if you could show me where-"
"Dani?"
Both Spencer and Dani glanced over to see Unit Chief, Aaron Hotchner, making his way down the steps to his office, dressed in his typical suit and tie, with, Spencer was surprised to see, a rare smile. To Spencer's horror and disappointment, Dani immediately turned her attention away from him and towards his boss.
"Aaron," She smiled, walking over to him, leaving behind the floral scent of her sunflowers for Spencer's nose to chase, "How are you?"
"Good, thank you, God it's been a while, hasn't it? Haley's due any day now," Aaron accepted Dani's hug, both unaware of Spencer's direct gaze towards them, watching as his boss hugged the woman of his dreams like it was nothing. Like it wasn't sacred to touch an angel. "So it's all hands on deck."
"Oh, it has been a couple years, hasn't it? I didn't realised she was due so soon," Dani replied, clearly excited for him, "How are you coping?"
"Terrified, but I'm managing," Came the half joking, half serious reply.
"Just don't go to my dad for any parenting advice, trust me," She joked, both of them letting out a soft laugh.
"Don't worry, he's not at the top of my list," Aaron replied, before quickly adding, "Not that you didn't turn out well."
"Nice save there."
"What brings you here, anyway? How's school going?"
Who was this woman? How did she know Spencer and Aaron? What was she even doing in the office? Was she sent just to toy with Spencer's poor heart. Because the man certainly felt like it.
Still sat at his desk, heart continuously thumping at the knowledge his soulmate had just been stood right in front of him, smiling at him like she didn't know just how important she was to him. Even without the knowledge of who exactly she was, he still wanted her to let him love her. And love her he would.
"It's good, thank you," Dani answered, the smile permanently etched onto her face, "Tiring of course, but worth it. I'm almost finished and then it's off to New York for an internship."
"That's amazing, well done. Your dad did tell me you'd be moving soon."
That was the second mention of her father. Clearly the link between her and Aaron was her father, which meant he was likely the link between her and Spencer. So, if he could figure out who her father was, he could figure out how best to get her to fall in love with him.
"Really? He's never been the bragging type."
"You'd be surprised how much he tells me, Dani," Aaron spoke, "He's very proud. Of both of you. From what I hear, you'll be on the team in five years."
"I'm aiming for two," She laughed.
There it was again. Her laughter. In that moment, Spencer's heart stopped. If he thought her smile was beautiful, her laughter was his new favourite sound. For a second, he wished he had a voice recorder running, something to capture the moment, so that when he was sad and alone and in his bed that was too big for one person, he could listen to her laughter and for just a moment, he would be able to feel complete.
Whole.
"I don't doubt that for a minute. If anyone could, Dani," Aaron joked back, before glancing at his watch, "Sorry to cut it short, but I promised Haley I'd stop in with some lunch. She's on bed rest at the moment."
"Sorry, don't let me keep you," Hazel eyes grew wide with concern, "I was just here to drop some lunch off to dad, actually. But I know his office changed. I don't suppose you could tell me where it is?"
"Of course, it's just a couple doors down from mine, it has his name on it."
"Brilliant, thank you so much, Aaron. Give Haley my best, I hope bed rest isn't too dull for her."
"Thank you, Dani," Aaron responded, making his way away from the woman, "Hopefully I'll see you soon."
"You too, have a good day, Aaron."
And with that, Aaron Hotchner left the bullpen, a small jog to ensure he could get home to his pregnant wife in time. Having watched the entire interaction, Spencer willed himself to get up and talk to her, wanting to learn more about the woman, but she had a purpose. She was there for her father, not him.
Making her way up the stairs, effortlessly smiling with each step she took, Dani was completely unaware of Spencer's brown eyes studying her every movement, physically unable to take his eyes off her. He watched her walk along the floor, examining each office door as she did so. Past Aaron's office, she carried on walking, until she reached the door with 'Jason Gideon' displayed on a wooden plaque.
Expecting her to carry on walking, Spencer's eyes widened when she knocked the door and walked straight in.
•• ━━ ••●•• ━━ ••
THIRTY MINUTES she'd been in that office. Thirty minutes Spencer had sat at his desk, thinking over all the ways he could go and ask her on a date. Thirty minutes he'd been reliving her smile, her scent, her presence; everything he now knew he could not live without. Thirty minutes he'd been planning their future, their wedding, their children, their love story. Thirty minutes since Spencer Reid had accidentally fallen in love with Jason Gideon's daughter.
Out of all the people in the world, it had to be Gideon's daughter that his heart had chosen to love. As if he wouldn't struggle enough to capture Dani's love and affection, but now he had to worry about dating his boss's daughter. The boss that had taken Spencer under his wing, like a loving father bird. How would Gideon react? Would he give his blessing, or shun the relationship, knowing his daughter deserved much more than Spencer could offer.
Assuming she accepted his invitation that was.
No, he thought, shaking his head, slender fingers coming up to rub his strained eyes, She'll agree and we'll have a great time and fall madly in love and then I'll ask her to marry me.
Okay, maybe that was a bit far, even his lovestruck heart knew a proposal after a brief introduction was a bit much, but he would have done more for the love of his life. And Danielle Gideon was definitely the love of his life. He'd marry her on the spot if she asked him to.
And one day they would.
He had it planned.
With her bright, brilliant smile on her face, she'd leave Gideon's office, waving goodbye to him at the door, promising to come back for lunch next week. After shutting the door, she'd turn around and head towards the stairs, when Spencer would conveniently realise he had left his glasses in his car. Just as she tenderly waved goodbye to the team, exchanging kind words, he would jump up and declare he needed his glasses and that he would happily escort her to her car. Unaware of his intention, Dani would smile and walk with him to the lift, a conversation rife between the pair as they discussed everything that made Dani happy. This would continue to the car park, where Spencer would be a gentleman, continuing to the car, making sure she drove safely. Without stumbling over his words, he would hold his head high and ask her out to dinner.
Thrilled, Dani would accept, the large smile ever present across her features and she would delicately hug him. It would soft and tender, and likely a little awkward knowing him, but there would be more to come. She would go home, excited for the next day and Spencer would subjected to an interrogation once returning to the bullpen, but he would be too happy to care about Derek and Elle's teasing. His future with Dani would be worth it.
He would pick her up from her place the next evening. He wouldn't wait in the car, he'd go to her door, a bouquet of sunflowers in hand as he waited for her to answer his knock. She would open the door and he would be awestruck. Despite the chill of the air, he imagined her in a sundress, either floral or yellow - the two things he now associated with her. The fabric would hug her figure beautifully, and she would grin at the sunflowers, tenderly taking them from his arms. Together, they'd enjoy a romantic dinner at the local Italian restaurant Spencer had always been meaning to try. They'd share a bottle of wine, while munching on the finest garlic bread and learning everything about one another. He'd learn about her childhood pets and she'd inquire about growing up in Las Vegas. At the end of the night he'd take her to a park and they would walk and talk, neither wanting the evening to end, as Spencer treated her to ice-cream, offering her his coat to protect her from the chill. Under the moonlight, they would share their first kiss and it would be everything Spencer ever dreamed of.
Her lips would be soft and plump and kissing her would give meaning to every hardship he had ever faced. Despite wanting to, they wouldn't go any further, wanting to savour the moment when they became one. So, he would drop her back to her place, making sure she got there safely. When at her door, they would arrange for another date, a trip to the museum this time, before sharing another kiss.
In just thirty minutes, he had planned the evening to perfection and had already begun searching for good ice-cream parlours and local florists from his work computer. Maybe a couple things would differ, but he knew he would be taking her out for dinner.
Despite being engrossed in his very important research, Spencer's head snapped towards Gideon's office when the door creaked open. People had begun to file back into the office from lunch, but it was still quiet and clear enough to make out the room. From his view, he could see Dani adjusting her bag, probably lighter now that she had eaten. Arms were now empty, and Spencer could imagine the sunflowers resting on Gideon's desk, the only colour to brighten up the darkness.
Just like her.
Nothing about her physical appearance had changed in thirty minutes, yet she was somehow prettier than before.
"You know I worry, Dad," Dani was saying, still looking at her father as she walked out the office, Gideon following her, "The least I can do is make sure you eat lunch every day."
The first phase of his plan was in action. Not wanting the father and daughter to see him staring, he focused back at his computer, glancing over at the duo every so often, wanting to make sure Dani hadn't disappeared into thin air whilst talking.
"And I appreciate it," Gideon replied, a soft smile on his face, "You're almost as good as your teacher."
"Dave is a good teacher," Dani retorted, a teasing tone laced throughout her sweet voice. At Gideon's laugh, Spencer knew the woman had to be smiling, so he allowed himself a glance over, and sure enough, she was.
God, he was in love.
"Very funny, sweetheart."
"I am funny, Dad, you're right."
"Dad?"
At the whispered yell behind him, Spencer jumped, turning around to see Elle Greenaway, the newest member of the BAU, stood, staring up at the stairs much like Spencer had been doing just the moment before.
"Since when does Gideon have a daughter?" She asked, sitting at her desk across from Spencer, who wanted nothing more than to turn his attention back to Dani.
"A couple years at least, I'd guess," Derek responded, inviting himself to answer Elle's question, "It seems he's going to be a father-in-law soon as well."
Two sets of brown eyes widened, both looking over at Derek, not noticing the hug Dani gave her father.
"What?"
"What's that supposed to mean?"
At his high pitch, almost squeaked tone, Spencer knew he had given himself away. Derek didn't have to say anything, Spencer's voice being all the evidence needed to point Elle in the right direction. Spencer Reid was in love with Gideon's daughter.
"Awe," Elle cooed, now in on the teasing too, "That's sweet, when's the wedding?"
Too caught up in his coworkers teasing, Spencer didn't see Dani walk down the stairs with her father escorting her, still chatting about the affairs within their family.
"Who's wedding?"
Great. Right on queue, Jennifer Jareau made her way to the group - someone else to tease him.
"Who's getting married?" She asked, now standing next to Derek with her arms crossed around her body, casefiles tight in her grip.
"Lover boy and Gideon's kid," Derek replied to the blonde, who glanced over to Gideon and Dani.
"She's Gideon's daughter?" JJ asked, turning the teams direction back to the duo, who were hugging one another goodbye, each of them missing how she subtly raked her eyes over the woman.
Now was his chance. Despite being annoyed that his crush had been obvious to everyone on his team, Spencer didn't care enough to let it derail his plans. And that was how he knew, deep in his soul, that he was supposed to be with that woman, he was willing to ignore the teasing of his team to pursue her. He could ignore his friends and their opinions until he returned back from the car park with his date secured.
Silently standing up, Spencer had hoped he'd be able to slink out the room, but of course, his team just couldn't make anything easy for him.
"Where you off to, Spence?" JJ teased, noticing that he'd stood up from his desk chair.
"I need to go get my glasses," Spencer declared, hoping nobody had seen him wearing them when he walked in that morning, "I can't find them, so I must have left them in my car."
His friends glanced to one another, each with a grin on their faces. If his glasses weren't on his head, they were in the satchel by his feet.
"Sure you do," Elle smiled.
"Getting your backup pair?" Derek asked, having seen his friend remove the glasses from his head just before he'd gone to get his lunch.
But before Spencer could think of a way to answer without giving himself away - not that the team weren't fully aware of his intentions - a phone started to ring, pulling the attention of the team back to Dani and Gideon. With an apologetic smile, Dani reached into her bag and pulled out her phone.
"Hello. Chase? No, I'm just about to leave, what's up? Oh my goodness! Are you okay? No that's a silly question, of course you're not. Okay, I'm on my way. Do you need me to get anything? Okay, will do. Love you."
Now slightly frantic, Dani quickly put the phone in her pocket, in a clear rush to leave the office.
"Sorry, Dad, that was Chase," Dani explained, unaware of the team intently listening to her, "He's broken his elbow. He says he's fine, but I need to go pick him up from the ER."
Gideon gave a small nod of understanding.
"Of course, go make sure he's okay," He lightly ordered, "I'll see you for dinner tomorrow."
"I'm looking forward to it," Dani nodded, pulling her father into one final hug, "Love you Dad."
"Love you too, sweetheart."
Turning around, Dani ran out the office, not allowing any time for anyone to chase after her. Although from the sound of it, she didn't want anyone other than this Chase chasing after her.
Ignoring the sympathetic glances from the team, Spencer continued to watch her run until she reached the elevator and was out of his sight.
Instantly, the room felt darker, as if her brightening presence had never been there at all. Had the sun truly set after just thirty minutes of shining?
It had taken Spencer just twenty seconds to fall in love.
For thirty minutes he had allowed himself to dream about their life together.
And for the rest of his life, he would have to mourn the woman he never had.
❝ i'll spend forever wondering if you knew. ❞