Archive of Our Own ^beta

Kai was in her room at the monastery looking at her body in a body-length mirror. She only wore her undergarments, though it’s not like she has much to show. Her assets were smaller than her sisters. She didn’t even have to wear a bra since you could barely call her chest breasts. She wasn’t flat but she could just wear trainer bras because of the size. She never voiced her jealousy over her sister's body. Nya was curvier and more developed. She had the body of a cereal box, unlike the hourglass figure Nya had. She had a small round butt while Nya had a big round one. Her chest was the same, just small molds on her chest that didn’t even hang as most breasts did. She was an A-cup just going on to a B-cup while Nya was a big C-cup, which could almost be considered a D-cup.

Kai’s body was more heavily scarred, unlike Nya’s though most of that is her own fault. Kai had burn scars from when she was trying to learn Blacksmithing by herself while the others are faded scars on her outer and inner thighs and her wrist. Some were more visible than others but she always wore clothes that covered them. No one knew of her self-harm and she’d like to keep it that way. No one knew of the pain she suffered before joining the Ninjas. All the shit she had to do so she could give Nya the life she deserved. To get her sister presents on her birthday and Christmas. To keep her in school. To keep her clothes with a roof over her head and a bed she could lay on to sleep under a warm blanket. She taught herself to cook so Nya had food to eat, though she hurt herself multiple times doing that. She taught herself to fight to protect her. If they were low on food she gave it to Nya. She made sure Nya had good clothes and bedding while she was stuck with clothes that barely fit and were falling apart and bedding with holes and stains.

When the shop wasn’t doing well and they were low on cash she sold her body to men for them to do whatever to. She’d helped around the village as well for some extra cash. Of course, she did that when she was older, around thirteen. She was sixteen when Wu came to train her to become a ninja and to save her sister from Garmadon when the skeletons took her.

She’s never told anyone and she hid it all from Nya. She never questioned her older sister why she was out so late since it had become routine when she was young. Kai was often out to sell weapons and armor or help around. Or she was shopping so a young naive Nya never thought her big sister would be doing anything but that. Kai didn’t want to go so low for money, she never enjoyed any of it either. It was always painful and she felt disgusted with herself. She’d cry in the bath when she got back home while shrugging her body red. At some point, she got into cutting herself and she hasn’t been able to stop since. It oddly felt nice, like she was relieving stress with each cut.

A knock on her door knocked her out of her thoughts. “What?!” She called out. Her door was locked since the guys didn’t know what knocking was, mainly Jay.

“Breakfast is done. Everyone is waiting for you.” It was Cole. She sighed. She hated that they all ate breakfast together. She didn’t always feel like eating and she gets weird looks if she just sat there and ate nothing.

She sighed heavily before saying back, her eyes never leaving the mirror, “Ok, I’ll be out in a little.”

“Got it!” Cole said happily. She heard his footsteps walk away.

She knew she needed to go eat breakfast with the others but she physically couldn’t get herself to stop looking at the disaster of a body in the mirror. She didn’t sleep much last night, her sleep was plagued with nightmares. She had horrible eye bags under her eyes that she’d have to cover with makeup, as per usual.

Once she was able to pull herself from the mirror she went to her closet to get dressed in her red GI. Her undergarments were a sports bra and women’s boy shorts. She then put on some color corrector under her eyes and then some concealer of her skin color to cover her eye bags. She touched it off with setting powder. She brushed and spiked her short hair before finally heading out.

She walked silently through the halls to the dining room. She just wanted to stay in her room and try to sleep or train to try and clear her mind. She wasn’t really hungry either but she’d have to eat something so the others leave her alone.

When getting to the dining room she saw the others already at the table ready to eat. The table was filled with breakfast foods. Zane must have cooked. None of the others cook this must and have it all look good. “Kai, come sit down! Food is getting cold!” Jay yelled at her to hurry up. Kai rolled her eyes as she walked to the table and sat down between her sister and Lloyd.

Once she was sat down everyone started plating their food. Kai plated some food, just enough that they wouldn’t question her. She often ate little when not that hungry so they didn’t question her as much as they did at first, or at all. “You sure took your time. Did you sleep in?” Lloyd as her.

“Couldn’t manage to get myself out of bed,” she joked with a fake smile. The blond chuckled as he went back to eating. Kai looked at her plate, her eyes hollow. She wasn’t hungry. She’s sure if she ate anything she’d throw up.

Today just wasn’t a good day. Everything felt too much. She actually couldn’t bring herself to get out of bed, but not because she was comfortable. Her body just wouldn’t move. It felt heavy and drained. She didn’t know why such an easy task felt so difficult to accomplish. She could barely get herself out of bed to take a simple shower. After a long, hot shower she found herself looking at herself in the body mirror in her room.

She was up early before anyone else was even up. The sun hadn’t even risen. She woke up around three in the morning and just laid there in her own sweat until four thirty before taking a 30-minute shower where she mainly just stood under the hot water. After she dried off and headed back to her room in clean undergarments, she stood in front of that mirror. Seeing as someone had to come get her for breakfast, she had stood there for hours. It was now around seven thirty, so two hours and a half. No wonder her feet felt sore.

She felt someone nudge her. Since it was from the right, it was Nya. She looked over at her sister. Nya simply jested with her head that someone was speaking. She looked around and saw it was Wu.

“Today I want you guys training. You guys were out of touch yesterday when you guys took care of simple robbers,” Wu told them. Kai had to hold back the need to roll her eyes.

“How long do you want us to train?” Lloyd asked his grandfather.

“Until noon. After that, you can do as you please. Pixel will be looking out for crimes that would need your guy's attention,” Wu answered before sipping his tea. Kai leaned forward, an elbow on the table as she rested her jaw in her hand. She poked at her food with her chopsticks. “Kai, you're more out of it than the others,” Wu told her. Kai actually rolled her eyes at that.

“Yeah, got it. I’ll train harder,” she grumbled, annoyed.

“Kai,” Wu warned, though she could hear the concern in his voice. Kai picked her head up enough to look over at her sensei. She didn’t brighten her eyes so she didn’t look as dead as she felt.

“Don’t worry, a day of training will fix it,” she told him with a grin that didn’t meet her eyes. Wu frowned. She sighed before standing up, pushing her plate away. “Not hungry. Gonna get a head start on training,” she said as she walked to the entryway.

“Kai?” Lloyd called after her questioningly and concerned.

She looked back at them. “Just not in the mood. So fuck off,” she told them before heading out to the courtyard. She pressed the button that brought up the training equipment. She moved somewhere to stretch thoroughly before starting her mindless training. She knows the training course like the back of her hand. She could do it blindfolded if she wished.

As she went through the course her mind was somewhere else. It was on the pain between her legs. She had recently cut her inner thighs so they burn from the friction and from generally moving. Last night before going to bed in the shower she cut her thighs again. Her mind wandered into the darkest places of her thoughts. She had been useless yesterday when they took care of simple robbers. She was so out of it that Cole had to push her out of the way of a bullet. It ended up grazing his bicep and she felt horrible that he got hurt because she wasn’t completely there.

She has the biggest crush on the black ninja. She doesn’t know where it came from since she’s never actually been attracted to a guy before. She even dated a girl before, Skyler. She was lovely while it lasted. However, they broke it off since she never told her anything. Skyler was a great person, but Kai wasn’t used to having heart-to-hearts with anyone, so they broke it off because she wasn’t emotionally available, though they were still friends.

She had talked to Skyler about her crush on the Earth elemental master since it confused her. But as they talked about her feelings for Cole, Skyler told her that she’d always liked him but her heart hid those feelings away from her. Of course, when she had gotten with Skyler, he was fighting with Jay over Nya. She also said that she keeps her heart locked and won’t allow herself to actually love someone. Kai never told her anything about her past but she seemed to know something bad happened that revolved around men.

Kai was aware she had abandonment issues and had issues with loving a man because of what she had men do to her when she was younger. She just couldn’t trust them. Plus she didn’t want to give her heart and have them leave her more broken than she already is. She doesn’t want to unload all her baggage and scare them off or have them see her as too much to handle.

She wanted to be taken care of by someone because all she does is care for others. She wanted to be able to be selfish, but she was already called it enough even though she wasn’t. She is actually really selfless, and it sometimes comes off as selfish. She hates being called selfish because she’s only been selfish a handful of times. Otherwise, she would give the clothes off her back for any of them.

Cole was generally a nice guy and always offered to help them if they needed it. He’s also the type of person who would give the clothes off his back for someone. He has a huge heart but he’s one of the most serious and focused out of them. He takes a lot of responsibility for himself, encourages others, and is understanding and compassionate. He’s very hardworking when he wants to be, and he’s patient when it comes to others. However, he has a stubborn and competitive streak that may cause them trouble from time to time. He’s a big eater and loves food but is a horrible cook. Kai never understood how you can love food but be a horrible cook. Everyone dreads when it’s his turn to cook, though he’s been working on it. His talent went more into his art skills. He was a fantastic artist, often found sketching on a scroll or drawing pad in his free time. She always loved to see his drawings, even though he was self-conscious about them.

But besides his personality, he was very good-looking. He had dark skin, compared to most of them. Zane had pasty white skin when he wasn’t titanium. Jay was pale, along with Lloyd, and she and Nya were tan. Cole had light brown skin but darker than her darkish tan skin. He was the tallest out of all of them, only two centimeters taller than Zane. Jay and Lloyd were around the same height but shorter than Nya by a few centimeters. Kai was the third tallest, standing a couple of centimeters taller than Nya but inches shorter than Zane. Wu stood in between them.

Cole was also the bulkiest out of them but he was still light on his feet. Everyone else had leaner builds. Kai loved watching him do anything that had his biceps bulging and flexing. She also loved his gigantic hands. They were two times bigger than her own. He was also a very meaty man.

He had a strong triangle jawline and a hooked nose. He has long, black, curly, shaggy hair that he often puts up in a half-up-half-down bun. He pulls off the thick dark eyebrows with round eyes.

All in all, he was a man’s man.

She doesn’t understand how Nya fell for an overgrown child. Jay looked child-like, looking younger than he actually was. In definition, he has a baby face. Lloyd himself had a bit of a baby face, but he looked cute, not dorky like Jay. She’s sure her little sister fell for his personality, not looks but his personality was just as childish as his looks.

“Kai,” a deep, soothing voice called out. She stopped and looked at the main entrance of the monastery. It was Cole. She stopped the course and walked over to him where he stood at the end of the stairs.

“What?” She asked easily, trying to keep her crappy mood out of her voice.

“What’s wrong?” He asked, concern laced in his voice. Kai blinked up at him confused.

“Nothing, why?” She asked. Sure she told them she just wasn’t in the mood but that doesn’t mean anything is actually wrong, though there is.

He frowned his bushy eyebrows as he looked at her with those patient eyes. “Kai, I can tell it’s more than a bad day,” he told her gently. She frowned as she crossed her arms.

“It’s nothing important,” she replied as she looked away from him. To her, it wasn’t important. Her feelings were always shoved aside.

Cole picked up one of his hands and cupped her jaw as he gently moved her head to look at him. “It may not be important but it’s clearly bugging you,” he told her, his voice just as gentle and soft as before but she could still hear the worry and concern.

She pushed her lips together before sighing. “I just feel guilty that you got hurt because I was out of it,” she gave in. He’s always had this way of getting her to spill, even if it wasn’t the whole truth.

He smiled softly at her in understanding. “Kai, I’m fine, it only grazed me. I hold nothing against you. Everyone has their days where they are not completely focused,” he told her with a closed-eyed smile.

She doesn’t deserve to have feelings for someone like Cole. He’s too nice. Too patient. Too compassionate. Too forgiving. But she can’t help how he melts the ice around her heart. How it’s so easy for him to bring down her walls.

“Cole,” she mumbled. He hummed as he looked down at her with soft eyes. He’s always so patient with her. So gentle. She can’t take it. It’s always too much to handle yet she craves for more. “Can I have a hug?” She asked quietly as she looked down between them. Cole said nothing as he pulled her into a hug. Kai scrunched up her face to keep tears at bay as she hugged him back, shoving her face in his chest. Cole rested his chin on top of her head.

Cole has always been a big teddy bear after he swallowed out when they first met. He’s always willing to give a hug if asked. He usually has an arm slugged over one of their shoulders if he’s able to.

Kai never got many hugs besides from her sister. Nya always gave her a hug when saying goodbye or welcome back. She always enjoyed being able to hug her. But she enjoyed Cole’s hugs the most. He always gave big bear hugs and they felt nice. He’d wait until she was ready to pull away, definitely, if it was out of comfort.

When Kai heard the noise of the others coming, she pulled away from him. He easily let go of her, his arms falling to his side. Kai hugged herself loosely as she looked behind Cole to see the others coming out to join them. Cole looked back at them and smiled brightly, “Hey guys, ready to start training?”

“Yep!” Lloyd cheered. Jay groaned, seeing to not be as thrilled.

“Why do we have to train?! Kai was the one that decided to try and get shot, not us!” Jay cried before glaring at the fire user. Kai glared right back at him.

Nya whacked him upside the head causing him to let out a cry of pain as he held the back of his head. “We get punished together, like we always do, so stop throwing a fit,” Nya told her boyfriend.

“But still!” He whined.

“Jay, stop whining about it. Everyone has their bad days,” Cole told his best friend.

“You're just defending her, even though you got shot because of her,” Jay argued. Cole sighed as he rubbed his temples.

“You just want to laze around,” Zane told the blue ninja.

“That’s beside the point. Everyone else was on tone besides Kai. I don’t see why we have to be punished because of it. She hasn’t even apologized to Cole since he hurt because of her,” Jay complained further.

“She apologized and it’s not that big of a deal. It grazed my arm. I didn’t even need stitches,” Cole told him, annoyance laced in his voice.

“Jay, just drop it. If we stall any longer Wu will have us train longer,” Nya told him. Jay whined as he waltzed past Kai to start training. The others started their training as well. Cole looked at Kai, who stood staring at the ground as she hugged herself tightly. If it weren’t for her GI she would have dug her nails into her skin.

She wanted to go back to her room. She wanted to cut her skin again to let out her frustrations so she could feel better. “I’m going to my room,” Kai announced as she walked into the monastery.

“Wu said to train until noon!” Zane called after her. Kai said nothing as she headed to her room. She wanted to be left alone. She wanted to feel peaceful.

Once she got to her room, she locked the door behind her and stripped off her GI. She went to her bedside table and grabbed the kuni she uses out of the drawer. She sat down on the floor by the side table, leaning against her bed. She looked down at her thighs. The cuts on her inner thighs were already agitated from the friction of her pants.

She moved the kuni to the top of her thigh and cut deep enough to draw blood. Her breath hitched from the pain, and tears started to threaten to fall. She sniffled as she blinked away the unfallen tears before she cut through her skin again and again and again.

She didn’t stop until both of the tops of her upper thighs were bleeding through thin slits of broken skin. Some cuts were longer than others while some were deeper than others and some crossed over others. She watched as blood slid down her thighs and dripped onto the floor. Her hand fell to the floor as she dropped the bloody kuni. She looked up at the ceiling, tears slipping down her face as her thighs trembled in pain. Even though she was bleeding and trembling in pain, she felt lighter. She felt a bit more relaxed and her mind seemed to quiet down.

She turned her head and saw her reflection in the body mirror that was mounted on the wall in front of her bed. She saw the mess she was. Her eyes looked lifeless as they stared back at her. She moved her legs to where her knees arched upward but hissed in pain at the pull of sliced flesh. She pulled her knees close as she continued to stare lifelessly at herself through the mirror.

She doesn’t know how long she sat there in a pool of her own blood as she stared at herself. A knock and a voice knocked her out of her daze. “Honey, it’s me, Mom. Are you ok?” It was Maya, her mother. She was sure her father, Ray, was here as well.

Kai sat up straight, her body aching from sitting in one position for so long.

“Kai!? You in there!?” She heard her father yell.

She sighed as she got up, her body popping and groaning in protest. She found an old t-shirt to whip her thighs up before getting some wrapping out of her bedside dresser and wrapped her thighs up. She’d clean them up properly later. She then cleaned up the blood that leaked onto the floor before throwing it into her small trash can. She dressed herself back into her GI completely before answering her parents.

“Why are you guys here?” She asked them as she stood in front of the closed door.

“Wu called and said you’ve been acting off. He thought maybe we could help,” Maya told her.

“Do you want to talk about what’s going on? We don’t mind listening,” Ray chimes in.

“I’m not in the mood to talk,” she told her parents. She wanted to be left alone. She didn’t need to rely on anyone for this. She’s done it for years by herself. She doesn’t need her parents to show up and try to act as if they’ve been here her whole life. She took care of herself and Nya for years. They’re years too late to try and help her. To try and be there for her.

“We can just keep you company then. Catch up some if you want,” Maya told her gently.

She didn’t want their company or their attention right now. She wanted to be left alone. To be alone like she always is. She doesn’t need them. She doesn’t need anyone.

“Kai, open the door, we only want to help,” Ray told her, his voice soft and caring.

Kai clenched her eyes shut and clenched her hands into tight fists beside her. She didn’t want them here. She doesn’t need their comfort. They were never there to begin with.

“Just leave me alone, ok!” She screamed at them, anger boiling under her skin. Her nails dug into her skin through her gloves. Her head bowed down.

“Kai, we’re your parents. We only want to help,” Maya told her, concern laced in her voice.

“Guys, let her be.” Kai’s head flung up at that voice. It was Cole’s. Are the other also outside the door? “I know you're concerned but don’t force her to talk, it’ll only drive her away,” he told her parents. Kai pushed her lips together as she brought a hand up to her chest.

Oh, how she wanted him to embrace her in a hug again. Her heart screamed for him but her mind kept telling it to be quiet. She told herself she didn’t need anyone’s comfort. She was an independent woman who could take care of herself. She wasn’t a child who needed her parents or a stuffed toy to feel better. She just needed to be left alone to her own devices and she’ll eventually get through it like she always does.

Deep down she didn’t want to be left alone. She wanted her parents. She wanted that stuffed toy. She wanted that comfort. She craved it but she couldn’t let herself have it. Once she latches on to someone she knows she’ll break. She knows all of her walls will crumble and the broken mess that she is will be on full display to all. She couldn’t let that happen. Not again. She couldn’t let herself feel again. She blocked everything out for a reason.

“Kai,” Cole called out.

Kai wanted to cry out to him. Wanted to tell him she needed him. That she needed his comfort but she let out a simple, “What?”

“When you're ready to talk or just want some company, we’re here ok?” He told her softly.

Kai felt her resolve crumbling. “Ok,” she breathed out loud enough for him to hear. She crouched down in front of the door with her arms behind her head, face buried in her knees. She heard them walk away. She let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding.

She wanted, no, needed to tell someone everything. She needed to let it all out. It was tearing her up from the inside out. It was slowly starting to kill her. She knows she won’t last much longer, her body starting to root.

Her body felt heavy. Tears stung her eyes once again as her thighs burned from the cuts she put there.

She looked over at her digital clock and saw it was already past noon. She sat there on the floor for five hours. “I must really be out of it today,” she mumbled under her breath as she looked back at her knees.

She groaned in pain as she stood back up and looked at the door. She put her hand on the doorknob. She wanted someone to just be here with her but she didn’t want her parents or sister. She wanted Cole. She just wanted to be by him. To hear his voice at least one more time.

She turned the knob and opened the door. No one was there in the hallway. She heard everyone's voices coming from the living room. She stalked her way to the living room, the voices getting louder. Before she entered she listened to what they were saying.

“I’m worried about her. I know she has her days where she isn’t herself, but this just feels different,” Nya said worriedly. Kai frowned.

“I know, but she’s never been the one to talk to us about her problems,” Jay said. She could hear the worry and annoyance in his voice. She could take a couple of guesses as to why he was annoyed.

“I know we weren’t in the majority of her life, but we still want to help her. Let her know that we’re here now,” she heard her mother say sadly. Kai couldn’t help but grit her teeth.

“You baby her all the time when she’s over, I’m sure she’s aware that you guys are trying,” Nya told them, though Kai could hear the sliver of annoyance in her voice. She knows how much Nya hates it when they baby them. “Plus, she always pulls herself out of whatever she’s in so I’m sure she can pull herself out of this too,” she said, false confidence in her voice. “Though I have no idea why she would put herself through this,” she commented. In Kai’s opinion, it was uncalled for but for her sister, she wasn’t aware of the trouble she’s been through for her.

“Nya, you never know what Kai has been through. She would literally do anything to make sure you were happy. You have no idea how far she went when it was just the both of you,” Cole spoke up, seeming annoyed at her sister for her. That tugged at her heartstrings for some reason.

“And you do?” Nya almost sassed make at him.

“No, but Kai is known to hide things to protect our feelings. I’m sure she did the same thing when you guys were younger,” Cole told her. “I’m also sure if your roles were reversed, where you were the older sister, you would do anything to make sure Kai had an easy life but keep everything you did to yourself.”

“Well yeah, but Kai is horrible at hiding things,” Nya argued.

“You also happened to be a young naive kid so hiding things from you would have been easier than they are now. Definitely, if things became routine while you were young,” Cole told her.

“Your not suggesting she did bad things, are you?” Ray asked.

“How should I know what she did? She never told me but with how she is, you never know,” Cole shrugged.

“Well she couldn’t have just done anything, she’s always been prideful,” Nya breathed out, as if trying to convince herself her sister didn’t do anything that would harm herself.

Kai had enough of listening in. They seemed to already have a good grasp of what she could have done so she might as well spill. Maybe she’ll feel better or maybe she’ll feel more like shit for unloading her crap onto someone else for them to burden?

Kai went into the living room, instantly gaining everyone’s attention. “Kai, are you feeling better?” Nya asked as she jumped up from her spot on the couch.

“No, I feel like shit, so sit back down,” she snapped at her sister. Nya looked taken back but did as said. She really wasn’t in the mood but she had to tell them before she chickened out and did something she wouldn’t be able to take back.

Her life.

“Before I change my mind, I’m here to tell you guys what's going on with me,” she told them. They looked at her with wide eyes. “And I want all of you guys to save your questions and comments until after I’m done. I just want to get it over with,” she told them, sounding drained.

“Of course, we’ll stay quiet. Do you want to sit down?” Cole asked her. She simply nodded before sitting down on the floor beside him. She sat close to where her side touched his. He just let her lean into him.

She watched as everyone got seated, circling around to listen. She knew where she had to start, where it all started. “I’m going to start with that I don’t want you guys to think any of this is your guy's fault,” she said as she looked at her parents and sister. They pushed their lips together but nodded. She was going to tell this as if her parents were either not here or just friends. It’ll make it easier on her. “After our parents left with no one to take care of us I took care of me and Nya, as you all know by now” she started. They all nodded. “Around third grade, I dropped out of the school in the village that taught young children and just sent Nya when she started school. I helped around the village since I was still too small to reach my father's equipment. When I was around ten I started I started to teach myself Blacksmithing, though I usually got injured which is why I have burns.” She saw the remorse that filled her parent's faces as they stopped themselves from talking.

Kai took a shaky breath at what she was going to tell them next. The part she wasn’t so happy about telling them, definitely not her blood-related family. “Since the shop was doing well ‘cause I could make a decent sword, at thirteen I sold my body to men to do as they pleased to me,” she spoke slowly. She heard everyone's breath hitch and watched as some covered their mouths in horror, their eyes wide. “Money I got from that went to bills and the rest went to Nya. I bought her new clothes, bedding, and school supplies with it and bought her toys and trinkets for her Birthday and Christmas. I never spent any for myself,” she explained. She watched as Nya held back tears as she learned where the money came from and how her big sister never spoiled herself with it. She spoiled her and she’d always have a huge smile on her face.

She could tell they all had questions. Had things to say. “Go ahead and ask away,” she told them, signaling she was done telling her story.

“Wh-why did you never tell me?” Nya almost sobbed.

Kai smiled softly at her sister, “I couldn’t burden you with my troubles. You were still so young.”

“I’m not now! Why did you wait to tell me all of this?! I could have helped you somehow!” Nya cried out.

“I couldn’t have my baby sister carry my burdens for me. I didn’t want anyone to carry them. I did this to myself,” she told her.

“But you did it for me!” Nya yelled at her, tears streaming down her face.

“I wanted you to be happy. And even if I did it for you, I still chose to go that far. I didn’t have to do that but I did. That isn’t on you,” She told her sobbing sister. Jay had brought her into a side hug to comfort her. He seemed to be holding back his own tears.

“But why tell us this now?” Zane asked her. Kai looked down at her thighs. They stung from her crossing her legs.

“I got too much to handle. I felt like it was eating me alive. I couldn’t take it anymore,” She told him as she placed a hand on her throbbing thigh. She held back a hiss but her face contorted into pain.

“Your legs, did you hurt them?” Pixel asked hesitantly as if already knowing the answer.

“Kai, please tell us you didn’t..,” her mother asked, not able to even say it.

“Harm myself?” she questioned, as if saying it for her. They nodded. “I’m pretty sure you already have your answer,” she gave them a small sad smile. Maya got up from her spot on the couch and got on her knees in front of her to pull her into a hug.

“Why, why would you do that to yourself?” Wu asked her, his voice strained.

“It feels better when I do it,” she told him simply as she looked at the ground. Her mother held her tighter as if trying to talk through it.

“You still do it?” Jay asked. Kai rubbed her thighs as if having her actions answer him. He seemed to get the hint, his face scrunching up as if trying to stop himself from crying.

“Do you want me to properly clean the cuts for you?” Pixel asked. Kai knew she would be crying if she could. She doesn’t have tear ducts as a nindroid.

“Sure, I haven’t gotten around to it yet,” Kai said simply as she stood up, her thighs yelling at her in protest. She ignored it. Pixel looked at her sadly but said nothing. Kai followed her to their med bay. She could hear the others following. She could only guess they wanted to know how bad they were or to actually see if it was true. To have it completely hit them that she hurt herself instead of asking for help.

Once they got to their med bay, she sat on the bed, and pulled her pants down to her knees, just enough to show the bandages wrapped around her thighs. Pixel came over with new wraps, ointment, and other things to clean them. “Do you want to take them off?” Pixel asks her. Kai simply shrugged as she easily unwrapped her thighs, picking them up off the bed. The cuts were angry red, and some were slightly bleeding. “Do you have them anywhere else?” she asked. She knew she meant new ones. She hasn’t cut anywhere but her thighs in years. She simply shook her head. Pixel nodded as she pulled over a chair.

“Have you cut in other places?” Cole asked. She didn’t look at him. She didn’t think she could physically handle whatever expression he was making at her.

“I’ve cut all over my body. Thighs are easier to hide,” she answered simply. “Though I haven’t cut anywhere else in years, definitely when I first became a ninja,” she continued. At the first touch of Pixel disinfecting her cut, she let out a hiss as the thigh she worked on jerked.

“What do you cut yourself with?” Zane asked, examining her cuts.

“A kuni,” she replied.

“You use your ninja tools?” Wu asked.

“It’s better than the kitchen knives. Zane would question why we’d be missing one,” She joked dryly. “We’re always losing Kuni’s so it’s easier to get away with.”

“You definitely thought it out on how to hide this,” Zane told her. She hummed with a nod as she tried to keep her leg from kicking Pixel away. The deeper cuts hurt the worse since the disinfectant burns. Pixel then spread her legs apart some and started disinfecting the cuts from yesterday on her inner thighs. She either guessed or saw some of the longer cuts. Kai poorly took care of them, just wanting to go to bed after being forced away in the middle of the night.

“Why didn’t you ask for help?” Lloyd asked her.

“When have I ever asked for help?” she questioned him. The green ninja looked down as he played with his fingers. She knows mentally he’s still a little kid, even though his body looks grown up. She smiled softly at him, where he stood beside Nya. She hates worrying him. Hates seeing him sad and tearing himself apart over something he couldn’t stop or had no part of. “Lloyd, come here,” she said as she patted the bed beside her. He looked at her before hesitantly walking to her and sat down beside her. She turned her upper body to him and pulled him into a hug. He immediately hugged back, shoving his face into the crook of her neck. She ran a hand through his hair and the other rubbed up and down his back.

“I don’t want you to do this to yourself,” Lloyd cried into her shoulder.

“I know but it takes more than sheer will to stop,” she told him softly. She knew it should probably be the other way around, them comforting her, but she didn’t want comfort right now, she just wanted them there. Once everything cools over then she’ll worry about her own comfort.

“We should be the ones comforting you, you know,” Cole told her.

“I don’t need it. Not right now anyway. Everything still needs to finish processing,” she told him with a reassuring smile. If they noticed it was fake, they didn’t say anything. “Just having you guys here is good enough for me.” Cole frowned.

“You haven’t even cried over all this the whole time you’ve been telling us this,” Jay told her. Kai pulled away from Lloyd but let him continue to cuddle up agasint her.

“I haven’t actually cried over this in years. It’s just old news to me,” she replied. Her eyes weren’t even misty. Crying over this felt like crying over spilled milk. Nothing would change even if she did. It would still haunt her every breath. Crying isn’t going to have all of this baggage back it’s bags and leave like it was never there in the first place. Sure it might let some of the backed-up feelings out but she’ll be back at square one afterwards.

“But it’s not a bad thing to cry,” Zane told her. She rolled her eyes. Pixel then started to disinfect her other thigh. The cotton ball went over a certain deep cut and she almost kneed the poor nindroid.

“Sorry,” Pixel said apologetically.

“Your good,” she told her with a hiss.

“Well this does explain why you never let us help patch you up,” Pixel commented. Kai simply nodded. Lloyd moved to where he leaned against her and intertwined their hands, his head resting agasint her shoulder. She held his hand back as she let some of her weight rest on him.

“So, you guys going to take all of the weapons out of my room?” she joked. She had lots of weapons in her room like the other ninjas. It was mainly her set of things that she took care of.

“Yes, all sharp objects will be taken out of your room,” Wu told her seriously. Kai let out a dry laugh. She knew he’d want them all removed. Not like she can blame them. “I want you to find another outlight that doesn’t involve you hurting yourself in any way,” he explained and gave her a look.

“Yep, got it,” she chirped.

“You can always talk to us,” Nya told her.

“I’d rather talk to a wall,” she scuffed. No offense to Nya, she just doesn’t think that would go over well if she talked about certain things to her. Lots of her insecurities come from her jealousy of her sister. Nya didn’t need to know that.

“What? Why?” she asked.

“Because I’d rather not have you feel more like shit because of crap that we have no control over,” she deadpanned. Nya frowned, seeming not to understand what she meant. Kai was grateful she didn’t understand and hoped no one explained to her what she had met. Though she’s sure Nya will ask around to find out. “If I want to talk, I’ll talk to someone. Some of you guys just aren’t that good when it comes to emotional conversations,” she told them.

“That is true,” Zane said. The nindroids were the worst ones with emotional conversations, but they do try. Nya was good if it came to anyone but her. She took everything to heart instead of a grain of salt like she does with others. She didn’t want to bug Lloyd and Wu was so scriptive. She wasn’t going to talk to her overly emotional parents who baby her and Jay just couldn’t do serious conversations without cracking a joke. Which left Cole but she didn’t want to rely on him even though he was to easiest for her to talk to.

“Well we all know who she’ll end up talking to anyway,” Jay said as he crossed his arms.

“We do?” Her parents asked.

“Oh, well I guess you guys don’t but it’s Cole,” he told them. “Anyways, I’m going to go lay down and try to take all this in. My brain is working overdrive right now,” he said before leaving.

“I’m going to go remove the weapons from your room,” Wu said before excusing himself.

“I’ll come help,” Zane said and followed after their sensei.

“I need to let all of this soak in as well, so I’m going to go lay down,” Nya said before taking her leave. Her parents then left, needing to do the same. Cole and Lloyd were the only ones left, besides Pixel who was tending to her thighs. Cole walked further into the room and stood beside Pixel, watching her apply ointment to her thighs.

When Pixel was done applying the ointment, Kai stood up so she could wrap her thighs. Lloyd still held onto her hand. Once both her thighs were wrapped up, she let go of Lloyd’s hand to pull up her pants and fasten them. Pixel cleaned up the trash and put away the medical instruments. “If you need to change them out again, you can always ask me if you want,” Pixel told her. Kai simply nodded and she left the med bay.

“Lloyd, could you leave? I’ll come find you later,” Kai told the young blond. He looked at her and frowned before nodding and getting up.

“Ok, I’ll be helping Sensei,” he told her before leaving. Kai sighed as she sat down. Cole shut the door behind Lloyd's departure before sitting down beside her.

Kai leaned against him, her head resting on his shoulder. “So, what do you feel about finding out about this?” she asked him, looking in front of her.

Cole let out a heavy sigh before speaking, “Well, it hurts to hear but I can understand why you did it all.” Kai hummed as she pressed her lips together. “You’ve been strong this whole time for us, for Nya, so I want you to let us be strong for you,” he said gently as he looked over at her. Kai felt the tears starting to well up in her eyes. Cole wrapped an arm around her, his hand resting on her shoulder, and pulled her in close. “It’s ok to let it out now,” he told her with a gentle smile.

Kai couldn’t stop how the tears started to fall. Cole rubbed her bicep as he rested his head on top of hers. He said nothing as she let out heart-wrenching sobs that caused her whole body to tremble. Kai turned her face to where it pressed into the side of his chest. She wrapped her arms around him as she let the tears fall. She didn’t muffle or hold back her sobs and cries. It all hurt so much. Too much to keep in.

Cole pulled her into his lap, wrapping his arms around her torso. Kai hid her face in the crook of his neck as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. He ran a hand up and down her back to help soothe her, while he moved the other one to scratch gently at the back of her head. She held onto him tightly as she cried. He said little nothings into her ear that made her cry harder.

She wasn’t sure how long she cried before she lost consciousness in Cole’s arms.

~

Cole sighed sadly as he picked Kai up, a hand under her bottom and the other on her back. He stood up and walked over to the door. He used the hand that rested on Kai’s back to open the door before gently placing it back. He walked down the hallways to Kai’s room. He was sure they were still getting all of Kai’s weapons out of it.

When he got to her room, it seemed they had just finished moving her weapons. He stood at the doorway. “Cole?” his sensei questioned him.

“Kai fell asleep. I was just going to put her to bed,” he smiled at them.

“Of course,” Wu said. Lloyd went to Kai’s bed and moved the blanket aside. Cole walked over to her bed and sat down.

“Come on Lloyd. Let Cole put her to bed,” Zane told Lloyd as he and Wu started carrying boxes out of the room. Lloyd nodded before picking up the last box and leaving with them. Cole tried to move Kai to her bed but she didn’t seem to want to let go, even in her sleep. He sighed before moving to where he just lay fully on the bed. He moved both of his hands to rest on her back. She straddled his hips as she snuggled closer to him.

Cole didn’t mind. He’s always had a soft spot for her.

He’s liked her basically since the beginning from when they first met that night. He always found her beautiful. She always tried so hard to be perfect at everything, even if it frustrated the hell out of her. She was strong, no matter how she saw herself.

Finding out what she’s been through broke him. He hated that she had to do that. Hated that she hurt herself to feel relief. He wanted to help in any way he could but he knew it’d take a bit for her to actually let him help her. She was stubborn and prideful. Likes to do everything herself. He was patient and would wait for her to come to him, he just hoped it wasn’t when she was on her last threads. He hated watching the fire in her eyes fade away.

He also hoped that she didn’t hurt herself because of the guilt of him getting hurt to save her. If she needed to be saved, he’d save her. He didn’t care what it took. He wanted to see her happy. See her generally smile more often.

His heart ached seeing her like this.

~

Kai woke up to her face in someone's chest. The room was dark and she could feel a blanket draped over her. She blinked her eyes some before slowly lifting herself to sit up. She felt something holding her. She looked down and saw an arm. She blinked before looking to see who it was. It was Cole. Kai’s cheeks flushed as she looked at the sleeping man. She then looked around the room and saw she was in her room. “Did he carry me back after I fell asleep?” She muttered under her breath. She looked over at her digital clock that shined in the dark. It was almost six in the afternoon, meaning they’ll be having dinner soon.

She sighed before looking back down at Cole. She moved a hand to run it through his messy long hair. She couldn’t help the soft, fond smile that graced her lips.

The only light that lit the room was from her clock and the light that leaked through her door. She didn’t have a window like some of the others. They only had limited rooms with windows in them. Cole got one with a window though. She often found him drawing the landscape outside it. He’d add things to it to make it more fun and less boring but they always looked nice.

She knew she was going to have to wake him up. He didn’t like skipping meals and she’s pretty sure he already missed lunch. “Cole,” she said softly but loud enough to gain his attention. He stirs but doesn't wake up. She called his name again as she pushed on his shoulder. She did that a couple of times before he eventually opened his eyes groggily. “It’s around dinner time, I thought you wanted to miss Zane’s cooking,” she told him lightly. He let out a deep chuckle as he moved to lay on his back.

“Yeah, but how did you sleep?” He asked her, his voice low and soft.

“I slept great actually. Beat sleep I’ve gotten in a while,” she smiled at him. It was a soft happy smile. A genuine smile. He smiled back at her before stretching with a loud groan.

“That’s good, I slept mighty fine as well too,” he grinned as he relaxed back into the bed, his hands behind his head. Kai laughed as she smiled at him.

“Cole,” she called out softly, a small smile on her face. He hummed as he looked over at her. “Thank you,” she told him with a closed eye smile.

Cole sat up and turned to her, a soft smile on his face, “You’re welcome. I’ll always be here to help you.” Kai opened her eyes, her smile not leaving her face. Their eyes locked, forest green meeting midnight black, just barely able to see each other from the little light in the room. Cole placed a hand on her cheek, cradling it. Kai leaned into it but never broke eye contact.

Kai wished she could see him completely. See what type of face he was actually making but she didn’t want him to see hers. She knows she’s blushing and that her eyes are full of love for the man. She wanted to lean in and kiss him. To feel his lips on hers.

Kai moved a hand to gently grab onto his held-out wrist. She stared into the black pools that were his eyes. He then started to slowly lean in, as if wanting to kiss. She slowly leaned in too, hoping to get something out of this.

The door suddenly opening made the two jerk away from each other completely as they stared at the person in the door's archway. It was Jay. “What are you two doing just sitting in the dark?” He questioned them with a raised brow. Kai tried, and failed, to hold back a blush.

“What do you want?” She asked him as flatly as she could in her flustered state.

“I was going to come wake you guys up for dinner if you guys are up for it,” he told them, using his thumb to point behind him to jest towards the dining room.

“I could eat! I’m starved!” Cole grinned as he got out of bed. He then looked back down at her. “Kai?”

“Sure, I could eat,” she sighed as she got up. Jay flipped on the light switch and looked around her room.

“Ah, I see Wu was serious about the weapons then,” Jay commented. Cole glared at him with a look of ‘Are you serious right now?’. “Sorry, I’ll keep my mouth shut,” Jay said as he put his hands up in defeat.

As she got up, she felt the burn in her thighs from her cuts. She scrunched her face up in discomforted pain as she held back a hiss. “Do your thighs hurt?” Cole asked, concerned as he looked back at her.

“I’m fine,” she sighed as she stood up. “Let’s go eat,” she told them. They nodded but she could see their frowns. She was used to the burning sensation of fresh cuts in her skin, though it didn't make it any less bearable.

The three walked to the dining room where everyone else was waiting. Though seeing the surprised looks on their faces, she could guess they weren’t expecting her to be joining them. “Kai, how did you sleep dear?” Her mother asked her but stayed seated where she was. She could tell her mother wanted to come hug her if it was to comfort her or herself.

“Mom, you can hug me. I’m not going to break,” she told her mother. Maya frowned at her choice of words but did get up to hug her. Kai hugged her back. “And I slept great, thanks for asking,” she answered.

Maya pulled back from the hug, “That’s good. Are you eating with us?”

“Yeah,” she nodded. Maya smiled before letting her go completely and sat back down by Ray. Jay and Cole sat down in their spot, Jay by Nya and Cole by Zane. Kai sat down in hers, between Lloyd and Nya. This time when she filled her plate, she actually ate it. She added more food than she normally did, feeling like she hadn’t eaten in days instead of hours. Her body felt much lighter and her mind was clearer for once. She guessed the crying helped, or was it Cole?

She was glad no one said anything about her eating more than normal. She’d probably have stopped eating. They probably learned that from Cole. He often over ate a lot and he almost always stopped eating when they commented about it. He wouldn’t eat for the rest of the day afterward. They stopped commenting on his eating habits though everyone still teases him about his obsession with cake. Specifically chocolate cake.

When someone was done eating, they didn’t leave the table like they usually would. Dinner was filled with idle chatter, the ninjas catching Maya and Ray up on recent events. Besides what happened at lunch, dinner was full of laughter as if they weren’t just told something depressing hours ago. Though Kai was grateful. She didn’t want to bring down the mood. She didn’t want them to show their constant worry about her.

As dinner came to a close, they cleaned up and put up any leftovers. They migrated to the living room once they were done. Jay and Lloyd had started playing video games and everyone joined in, taking turns. Wu and Maya needed guidance on how to play, kinda being forced into playing by Jay and Ray.

When it got late, Ray and Maya said goodbye and left. Of course, they told Kai to call them or stop by if she ever wanted to talk. Most of the ninjas retreated to their rooms to get some sleep. Kai stayed in the living room, not really tired after her long nap. Cole didn’t leave either, so it was just them.

“So, what are you going to do? We kinda took a long nap,” Kai asked him awkwardly as she moved to the couch from where she sat on the floor. Cole sat on the other end of the couch.

He shrugged, “Don’ know.”

Kai hummed, “Same.”

“We could talk if you want,” he suggested nonchalantly.

“About what?” She questioned. They didn’t have much to talk about, seeing as they didn’t have much in common. The main things they bond over in ninja work and video games. Sometimes music since they like similar genres.

“Whatever I guess,” he shrugged as he leaned deeper into the couch cushion.

She hummed. “We could talk about what almost happened back in my room,” she told him as she looked away, her cheeks rosy. She heard Cole choke on his own inhale, making her snicker.

“We don’t have to talk about that,” he told her, his voice raspy from coughing his lungs out.

She looked over at him and gave him a look. “I think we should,” she said. He looked at his lap, messing with his fingers. “Tell me if I’m wrong, but were you trying to kiss me?” she asked hesitantly. She saw his cheeks flush as he pushed his lips together. She moved her body to the side as she moved closer to him. “Cole, were you, or were you not going to kiss me?” She asked, more of pleading to him. She wanted to know if they had the same feelings.

Cole opened his mouth to speak but closed it not long after as if contemplating his answer. The next time his lips parted, he spoke quietly, “Did you want me to kiss you?” Kai flushed as she looked down at the couch, her hands curling into fists on the cushion.

“I-I…,” she stumbled before whispering, “yes.” She felt him move before a hand grabbed her face and moved her head up to where she faced him. She saw the deep blush that graced his dark skin. She looked into his eyes and saw hope.

“Can I kiss you?” he asked breathlessly. Kai’s eyes widened as she blushed to her chest. Oh, how she wished for this moment. She’d dreamed of so many scenarios of them kissing and more. “Kai?” he questioned softly, dragging her out of her thoughts.

“Please,” she finally answered, her voice small but certain. Cole cupped her face with both hands as he smiled lovingly at her. Kai closed her eyes when he started to lean forward. When his lips finally connected to hers, she couldn’t help how her body melted as she moaned softly into the kiss. She pushed herself forward and moved her arms to wrap around his neck, pulling him closer.

Cole moved his hands to her waist and easily pulled her into his lap. Kai pushed her body against his as she straddled his thighs. She kissed him desperately with everything she could muster. Cole placed his hands on her back, pulling impossibly closer, and she moved her hands to cup his face, deepening the kiss more.

The kiss was a mess but she didn’t care, and Cole didn’t seem to mind either. Just from a kiss, she felt like she was on cloud nine. It felt like so much but not enough all at the same time. Her mind was buzzing, almost feeling loopy as Cole devoured her mouth with so much vigor. They only pulled apart for a few seconds to breathe before going back at it, breathing heavily against each other. Cole moved a hand to the back of her neck, holding the back of her head, keeping her close. His other hand stayed rested on the arch of her back.

Kai ended their make-out, resting her forehead against his, and moving her hands to rest on his shoulders. They panted heavily, their hot breaths mingling, and hitting each other's skin. It probably wasn’t the best idea to make out on the couch where anyone could walk in on them and possibly scar someone; that being Wu and Lloyd.

“If we’re going to continue this, it’s probably not best to continue here,” Kai told him as she pulled away from him, sitting down on his lap instead of hovering.

“Yeah, do you want to continue this?” he asked as he moved his hands down to rest on her hips. She knows he meant if she wanted to go further. And god did she want to but she didn’t have any type of protection and she doubted Cole did since he’s never been in a relationship before, to her knowledge.

“How far are you willing to go?” she replied.

“However far you’re willing to go,” he answered. She had a feeling that’s what he was going to say.

She hummed, “Depends, I don’t have protection.”

Cole blinked before saying, “I do.”

Now it was her time to blink at him, confused. “Why do you have condoms?”

“Less of a mess to clean up,” he answered simply with a shrug. She hummed in understanding. She also wouldn’t have been surprised if Jay gave them to him. He often gives gag gifts to the Earth Ninja.

“Then we're going to your room,” She told him as she stood up. He nodded as he simply followed her to his room.

The walk to Cole’s room, Kai had to calm her nerves. She was anxious but excited. She wasn’t sure if her self-inflicted scars would turn him off or if her body in general would. She wasn’t particularly sexy if you went by what most people thought a sexy body looked like. The closer they got to his room, the more anxious she got. She bit at her bottom lip and clenched her fist in her pants.

She then felt a hand pull one of her hands away from her pants and gently intertwine with hers. She looked down and saw Cole holding her hand. She then looked up at him and he gave her a sweet and gentle smile. She knows Cole would stop if she wanted him to and wouldn’t judge her if she changed her mind.

“Don’t worry, we’ll go slow,” he told her gently. She nodded.

When they got to his room, he opened the door and led her inside. He turned on the lights and closed and locked the door once she was inside. Kai looked around his room. It was clean and tidy, though his bed wasn’t made, unlike her own room that’s usually a mess of some kind.

Cole led her to the bed. He sat down and she took her place back on his lap. He smiled lovingly at her before softly connecting their lips once again. Kai hummed as she kissed back, holding onto his shoulders. The kiss quickly deepened and became desperate once again. Kai moved her hands down to undo Cole’s top and gear. He helped take it off and let them drop to the floor beside his bed.

They pulled away from the kiss panting. Kai ran her hands up and down his front, feeling every curve of his torso. Cole ran his hands up her sides as he spoke, “Want to take off your top?” Kai looked down at herself, seeing she was still in all her clothes and gear. She nodded before starting to take her top gear off. Cole’s hands joined her, unlatching and untying her gear. Her gear and top joined Cole’s on the floor. Cole looked at her still-covered chest before looking up at her as if asking permission. Kai pushed her lips together before nodding. She raised her arms in the air and he slipped her sports bra over her head. She tossed it to the ground with the rest. Cole cupped her small breasts in each hand, feeling them. Kai held in a moan at the simulation. His rough palms felt nice on her soft chest.

Cole leaned down and kissed her collarbone before slowly kissing down to her chest. Kai hummed a moan as he kissed and sucked at her skin, his teeth every so often grazing her skin making her shiver. He moved his hands to rest on her rib cage as he took one of her nipples between his lips. Kai’s jaw dropped and let out a silent moan when he sucked and flicked the sensitive bud with his tongue. She placed her hands in his hair, tangling her fingers in his dark curls.

Kai could feel herself getting wet. Her core throbbing in need. She rolled her hips into Cole’s, wanting to feel more than light touches. “Cole,” she called, almost pleaded. He looked up at her through his eyelashes with a hum for an answer. “I want more,” she cried.

He pulled off her swollen nipple before speaking in a low and deep voice, “Lay on the bed for me.” Kai couldn’t help but moan, loving the sound of his voice. She got out of his lap and hastily got on the bed, laying on her back. Cole let out a chuckle of amusement as he moved to sit on his knees between her thighs.

He ran his hands down her sides and over her stomach before stopping at the hem of her pants. She lifted her hips off the bed, giving her permission to take them off. He gently took them off, being careful of her thighs. She took her legs out of the pant legs after he took off her socks and shoes. He tossed them to the floor. She was only left in her boy shorts and the wraps around her cut-up thighs.

“Will your thighs be ok?” he asked her, concern laced in his voice.

“If it gets too much, I’ll tell you,” She promised. He nodded. “You strip as well,” she told him, gesturing to his pants. He chuckled but did as told, stripping off everything but his boxers before finding himself back between her thighs.

Even though they’ve barely done anything, Kai’s chest was heaving. Her heart felt like it was going to burst out of her chest. She’d seen him practically naked, only in swim trunks and on the off occasion she forgot to knock and walk in on him mid-change but this felt different. To see him in this type of setting. Something she thought she’d only see in her dreams and fantasies.

“You’re beautiful, Kai,” Cole breathed out above her. She blushed as she moved her arms to cover herself, feeling shy and embarrassed. Cole gently grabbed her wrist and slowly but gently pulled her arms away. Kai let him, her arms going back to rest beside her. He ran a hand down the front of her body, making her shiver. His other hand grabbed one of her arms and kissed the scars that littered her wrist. Kai pushed her lips as she held back tears. Those scars didn’t deserve such love.

“Cole,” she called, her voice coming out as a whine. He hummed as he looked at her. “Don’t kiss those,” she whined.

“But I want to. I want to kiss all your scars. I want to tell you how beautiful all of you is to me. How much you mean to me, flaws and all,” he whispered against her scarred wrist. Kai let out a whimper as her body trembled. “Tell you and show you how much I love you.”

A tear spilled down her face as she let out a soft sob, “Cole.” He kissed up her arm, kissing every faded scar he saw- even if it meant kissing the same spot a few more times. He did the same to her other arm before kissing the faded scars on her chest and neck that could barely be seen from how faded they were. He did all of this while praising her, telling her what he loved about her, and how he sees her. Kai couldn’t help but cry, her heart swelling with more love for the man. Her body trembling with each cry, sob, and hiccup.

He kissed down her stomach to the waistband of her boy shorts. He hooked his fingers in them at her sides but didn’t pull them down. He kissed her body over her underwear. She breathed heavily, trying to regain her breathing and calm herself but she couldn’t. This was all too much for her heart to handle. She could feel him mouthing at her lower lips through the cloth barrier. She lifted her hips and he slid her underwear off, careful of the bandages around her thighs.

Once they were off, she closed her leg and pulled her knees to her. She couldn’t help but feel embarrassed. It’s the first time she’s ever done it with a man who looked at her with so much love in their eyes. The first man who was going to make love to her.

Cole tossed her underwear to the floor as he looked down at her with hungry but loving eyes. He put his hands on her knees but didn’t pull her legs apart. “Open your legs, baby, I want to see all of you,” he told her softly but his voice was deep, edged with something more.

“I-I know I’ve done this before but never like this,” she told him just above a whisper, her voice quivering.

He smiled softly at her as he spoke, “That’s ok, I’ve never done this either.” She pushed her thighs tighter together as she pushed her lips together as she looked at the wraps around her legs. They stung and throbbed, almost enough to distract her from the pleasure she was receiving from the man in front of her. “I’ll make sure not to grab them. I’m sure they hurt enough as is,” Cole told her, his eyes following her line of sight.

She nodded before saying, “Take the wraps off.” He blinked before his eyes widened.

“Are you sure?” He asked, concerned and cautious. She nodded. “Ok, I’ll take them off,” he said gently. She spread her legs enough for him to take them off. He unwrapped each thigh with care that she thought was far more than she needed or deserved. When they were off he placed them on his bedside table. She hesitantly laid her thighs over his, letting her legs spread so he could see all of her. Her cuts were red with agitation but they stung less without the pressure of the wraps.

“Ar-are you sure you still want to do this, even though my body looks like this?” She asked, insecure.

“Like what?” He asked with a raised brow as if it wasn’t obvious.

“I’m all scared and I-I’m not as grown as Nya,” she whispered.

“I already told you I think you're beautiful. You don’t have to have big assets to be beautiful or sexy or gorgeous or stunning or pretty or cute. I think you're all of those words just how you are,” he told her gently as he leaned down to kiss her jaw. Kai held back more tears as she moaned softly at his words and affection. She moved her arms to wrap around his neck. She felt him move a hand between her thighs and cup her soaked cunt. He pushed a finger in between her low lips and messed with her clit. Kai moaned as she threw her head back into the pillow. “Mm, already so wet for me baby,” he hummed against her neck making her shutter.

He moved another finger next to the finger rubbing at her clit before moving them in a circular motion. Kai gasped as she bucked her hips, her jaw dropped. She let out quiet moans as pleasure blossomed through her body. He then dipped his fingers lower, pushing a thick finger inside her leaking pussy. She gasped, more out of surprise than pleasure. He moved his finger deeper inside her, moving it around as if searching for something. The pad of his finger then rubbed against a certain bundle of nerves inside her, making her let out a loud moan.

“Is that your good spot?” he husked into her ear as he pressed against that spot and stroked it with his finger before adding another. She let out a breathy moan as she pushed her hips down onto his fingers as she arched her back, her nails digging into Cole's shoulders.

“Oh fuck, Cole! Right there!” she cried out between moans. Tears perked at the corner of her eyes from the pleasure, her thighs trembling. Cole then started to thrust his fingers inside her and spread them apart inside her, stretching her out. With each thrust of his fingers, he’d hit her g-spot making her see stars as she clung onto him, her whole body trembling in pleasure as she moaned into his neck. She could feel her pussy throbbing as her vaginal walls contracted around Cole’s fingers. She could feel her climax building up. “Cole, I’m close,” She cried out.

Cole kissed down to her collarbone before pulling away and sitting up. Kai looked up at him with watery eyes, moving her arms above her head to grab at the pillow her head rested on. “Yeah?” he asked, sounding breathless. She could only nod as her body tried to decide what it wanted to do. “Fuck,” he cursed under his breath. “I want you to be a good girl and cum on my fingers,” he told her, his voice deep and rough.

Kai let out a moan at the pet name, her pussy pulsating. She nodded in reply and he pumped his fingers inside her faster and harder. She put a hand over her mouth to muffle the scream that tore out of her throat as her release hit her hard. Her whole body twitched and shook as she came around his fingers, her hips jerking upwards. When her body stopped shaking, Cole pulled his fingers out. Her thighs still twitched slightly from the intensaty of her orgasm.

“Didn’t think you would squirt,” he commented as he looked at his soaked boxers and torso. Kai looked at Cole’s torso and saw it was soaked in her release. She covered her face with a flustered whine. He chuckled, “No reason to be embarrassed.”

“Shut up!” she whined as she looked between her fingers at him. She’s never squirted before, nor has she ever had an actual orgasm. It felt incredible but it felt embarrassing to wet the sheets. Even though she had a body-shaking orgasm, she wanted more.

She felt a big hand rest on her stomach. “Do you want to continue?” Cole asked her gently. She nodded as she moved her hands to grip onto the bed sheets by her hips. He rose up on his knees, causing her legs to fall to bed. He hooked his thumbs in the waistband of his boxers at his sides. Kai bit at her bottom lip as she watched him pull down his boxers. His hard cock flung free, standing straight out with a slight curve upwards.

Kai’s eyes widened at the size. It was the biggest dick she’s ever since and she’s seen lots of them. He was definitely bigger than average by length and grith. “Oh wow,” she said breathlessly.

“Is that a good or bad wow?” he asked as he finished taking his boxers off and sitting down on his knees between her legs.

“We’ll find out when you put it in,” she couldn’t help but joke. Cole snorted.

He smiled softly at her, “I’ll go slowly. Stop me if it’s too much.” She nodded. He leaned over to his bedside table and opened the drawer. When he sat back up after shutting the drawer, she saw he had grabbed a condom and a tube of lube. He opened the condom and put it on before flipping to lube’s cap open, squirting a good amount on his hand, and rubbing it on his cock. He wiped the access lube on his already soiled sheets. He then lined up with her, pushing his hard head agasint her entrance. She could already tell it was going to be a stretch. “Ready?” he asked. She nodded. He mounted over her, a hand resting beside her shoulder while the other held his cock in place.

Kai kept her body relaxed as he started to push the head. The stretch had her flinging her head onto the pillow with a low moan, and her jaw dropped. It didn’t hurt like she thought but it was a bit uncomfortable. He stopped after his engorged head was inside her. She looked up at him. His jaw was clenched, sweat gathering at his temples, and his eyes were closed. She reached a hand up and placed it on his jaw. His eyes opened and locked with hers. “You ok?” she asked, worried he might be in pain.

He gave her a strained smile. “I’m good. You’re just so tight and warm,” he told her, his sentence ending with a groan as she felt him twitch inside her, his eyes closing once again from the pleasure. She blushed. “Are you ok?” he asked.

“Yeah, you can move,” she told him reassuringly. He nodded before pushing in more with a low groan. Kai moaned as he pushed deeper inside her and moaned louder when the head of his cock brushed against her G-spot. She tightened around him as her back arched, pushing him more into that buddle of nerves. He moaned above her as he dropped his head between his shoulders, his other hand planted beside her other shoulder. “Oh fuck,” she moaned, her hips twitching.

“Fuck, don’t tighten up like that,” he moaned out breathlessly.

“Sorry, you rubbed that spot again,” she gasped out, her pussy still throbbing and pulsating around his cock.

“Don’t apologize, it felt good,” he told her as he looked at her. She pushed her lips together and nodded. He then started to push further inside her until their hips were flushed together. Kai moaned breathlessly as her hips twitched at being so full. “Doing ok?” Cole asked her with a groan.

“Yeah, just feel full,” she told him as she moved a hand over her pelvis. Cole blushed, his dick twitching. “You can move,” she said. He nodded before pulling halfway out and thrusting back inside her gently. She moaned as his thick cock rubbed at her sensitive walls. She rolled her hips into his as he kept a slow and gentle pace, letting her get used to it. She cupped his cheeks and pulled him into a kiss, which he happily kissed back. “Go faster,” she begged into the kiss. Cole did as told and sped up his thrust some. Kai moaned into the kiss as Cole’s cock kept rubbing against her G-spot.

He thrust slowly becoming faster and harder as he started to chase his own pleasure. Kai couldn’t get enough of his deep moans, groans, and grunts. He kept up the dirty talk and called her pet names like ‘Baby’, ‘Baby Girl’, ‘Good Girl’, and ‘Sweetheart’, and praised her; telling her how good she felt around him, how beautiful she was, how good he was being for her and she ate it all up, loving the attention. She loved his deep, gruff voice that made her pussy throb.

She could feel her climax coming and she knew it was going to be another mind-numbing orgasm. “Cole, I’m gonna cum,” she sobbed as she clawed at his flexing thighs. She only hoped she didn’t burn him with her flames.

“Shit, I’m close too, Sweetheart,” Cole told her between grunts and moans. Kai’s toes curled at the pet name with his deep and husky voice. The hands on her hips pulled her into each of his powerful thrusts. Tears of pleasure streamed down her face as she sobbed moans. He leaned down and mouthed at her neck, every so often sucking her skin in between his lips leaving hickeys of different shades of purple.

When Kai finally reached her climax, she let out a silent scream as she tightened around Cole’s shaft and came around him. Cole followed not long after her, thrusting deep inside her as he pushed his face into the crock of her neck with a low moan. They stayed in that position as they came down from their highs, breathing heavily. Kai moved her arms to wrap around Cole.

Cole sat up after catching his breath, looking down at her. Kai looked up at him, her hands resting on the back of his neck. “Good wow,” she smiled up at him, referring to his question before they started.

Cole blinked in confusion before laughing. “That’s good.” He then pulled out of her gently, making her whine from the loss and overstimulation. Kai let her hands fall above her head before yawning. “Tired?” he questioned as he took off the condom and tied it off before throwing it into the trash can beside his bed. She hummed sleepily as she stretched. “Let's shower and change the sheets then we can go to sleep,” he told her softly.

“Yeah,” she replied quietly as she sat up. Cole got off the bed first and helped her up. He grabbed some clothes from his dresser after putting on his soiled boxers. Kaya put on her undergarments before following Cole out of his room to the bathroom. Luckily they didn’t run into anyone on the way there. They quickly took a shower and got dressed. Kai wore one of Cole’s pj shirts, while he wore a pair of boxers and the pj pants to her shirt. They headed back to Cole’s room and didn’t run into anyone on the way back.

Kai just threw her undergarments in a pile with her GI while Cole tossed his in his hamper. They changed his sheets and put the dirty sheets in his hamper. Once they were done, Cole rewrapped her thighs before they headed to bed and turned off the lights. They cuddled close to each other.

~

The next morning, Kai woke up to sunlight shining in her face through Cole’s curtains. She groaned groggly as she sat up. She looked around and saw Cole was on the other side of the bed, his back facing her. She yawned as she stretched before looking over at his alarm clock. It was around breakfast time. She moved over to Cole and nugded his shoulder. He let out a groan as he snuggled more into his pillow. “Cole, wake up. It’s around the time for breakfast,” she told him. He flipped himself onto his other side to face her.

“Mornin’ Sweetheart,” he told her, his voice deep with sleep.

She hummed as she leaned down and pecked him on the lips with a smile, not caring that they both had morning breath, “Morning.” He hummed as he kissed her back before turning his face into the pillows to yawn. She smiled happily at him as she moved a hand to run through his messy hair.

He looked back up at her, “Sleep ok?”

“Yeah. You?” she hummed.

“Slept like a rock,” he smiled cheekily at her. She snorted as she leaned back down to kiss his forehead. Cole wrapped his arms around her and pulled her on top of him as he lay on his back.

“Come on, we have to get to breakfast,” she giggled as he gave butterfly kisses to her neck.

“But I want to spend more time with my girlfriend before we’re torn apart,” he whined. Kai stiffened at what he called her. Cole pulled back and looked at her concerned. “If that’s ok?” he asked. She knew he was asking more than just spending more time together.

She smiled lovingly at him as she cupped his cheeks, “I don’t mind spending extra time with my boyfriend either but Jay will eat are share if we don’t show up.” Cole smiled brightly at her. She giggled softly as she kissed him again before sitting up on his stomach. “Now come on, we have to get to breakfast,” she smiled happily at him. He nodded. She got off of him and headed to the door. Cole followed. She needed to stop by her room to put on bottoms so she doesn’t join them with a bare ass. She put on her regular boy shorts underwear and one of her pj shorts that went to her mid-thigh. Cole’s shirt covered it though since it also went to her mid-thigh and hung off one of her shoulders.

They usually go to breakfast in their sleepwear, depending on when they wake up. Cole usually came to breakfast with only his pj pants since he found the shirts restricting while sleeping so he often forgets to put his shirt on.

They walked to the dining room and could hear the voices of the others. Today should be Nya’s turn to cook and she was a decent cook. Jay always made sure to get his filling when Nya cooked, wanting to appreciate his lover's cooking.

When walking into the dining room, all of their eyes were on them. Cole, with no shame, walks over to his spot and sits down by Zane. Kai on the other hand couldn’t help but feel embarrassed as she awkwardly walked to her spot by Lloyd. “I see you two had fun last night,” Jay teased. Wu choked on his tea, spilling it everywhere. Lloyd and Pixel got up to help the old master.

“Really Jay?” Cole questioned his best friend, unamused.

“What? It’s as obvious as day what you guys did,” Jay replied nonchalantly. “And right after she told us everything too. Do you have no shame?” he joked. Kai reached over and whacked him upside the head. The blue ninja cried in pain as he held the back of his head, sending a glare at her. She glared right back at him. He sighs and puts his hands up in defeat, “Got it, I’ll shut up.”

“Good,” She huffed.

“But like seriously, right after?” Jay questioned the Earth Elemental.

“What happened?” Nya asked as she came out of the kitchen with food. She sat it on the table before looking at her sister and her eyes widened. “Cole!” She glared at said man.

“Why am I the one getting in trouble?” he asked, offended.

‘She literally just told us everything yesterday!” Nya told him.

“Nya, it’s fine. Don’t yell at him,” Kai told her younger sister. Nya looked at her again about to argue her case but shut her mouth and actually looked at her. “What?” she questioned her confused.

“Nothing, you just looked more well-rested and color came back to your face,” she told her. Kai blinked, unsure what she was talking about. The others then started to exserve her.

“Yeah, your right. She doesn’t look like a walking zombie anymore,” Jay commented. The others shared their agreement.

“The hell are you guys talking about? I don’t look any different than I did yesterday,” she told them, confused.

“You do look more like yourself, Kai,” Cole told her. She blinked. Did she really look that different while she moped around? She felt different though. She felt refreshed and energized. She felt more like herself, even though it’s been years since she felt like that.

“I guess I do feel more like myself, but I didn’t think that would imminently show,” she told them, still very confused.

“At least your feeling better, I was worried you’d get worse,” Lloyd told her, expressing his concern.

“Wait, when did you start liking Cole?” Jay asked her curiously with an edge of surprise. She never told anyone besides Skyler about her crush on Cole. She had no idea if any of them knew about Cole liking her.

“Yeah, I thought you liked girls,” Zane commented.

“Honestly, I’m glad you guys got together. It was pitiful to watch Cole look at you with such longing since forever ago,” Nya stated with her arms crossed.

“Yeah, it was a pitiful sigh indeed,” Zane commented.

Cole groaned, “Seriously guys?”

“Yes,” Jay said simply before looking at Kai. “So, how long have you liked Cole?”

“It’s none of your guys’s business,” she huffed as she crossed her arms.

“Oh come on sis, there's no shame in telling, seeing as you guys are dating now. I’m sure Cole is curious too,” Nya grinned.

“She doesn’t have to tell you if she doesn’t want to and Nya, weren’t you making breakfast?” Wu questioned her.

“Fine, but you better tell me later,” Nya told her before going back to the kitchen to finish up on breakfast. Wu has never really been one to know about their love lives and just cares if they’re happy.

“So what are we doing today Sensei?” Lloyd asked his grandfather.

“Depends if Kai is up to doing heavy exercises after her fun night,” Wu answered simply before sipping his tea. Kai blushed as she covered her face with a whine of embarrassment while the rest looked at their Sensei with wide eyes.

Well, Wu did like to tease where he could.