Archive of Our Own ^beta

When Sasuke left Konoha at thirteen, he didn’t think he’d miss the Uchiha compound.

It was where his entire life was devastated, having lost every possible thing he loved in one evening, abandoned and left to fend for himself. Every second he spent there reminded him of the massacre, the persistent silence painful and agonizing. All the shops and houses were left to rot with the natural passing of time, all haunted by the ghosts of those who were once filled with such life, such love.

There was no one to greet him after school, to welcome him home, to ask him how his studies were going, to find a way to bring up his older brother.

In the depths of his home, he was always gripped by the violent claws of loneliness, an aching solitude he tried so desperately to pretend he basked in. He felt it was his duty to stay there. He didn’t have anywhere else to go, but even if he did, he needed to remain in that house where his parents were slain and his shoulder was sliced open—by the older brother he loved so dearly.

He needed to be reminded of his hatred every time he opened his eyes. It was the only way he could’ve ever hoped to kill Itachi. It was masochistic prodding at a festering wound that would never heal.

During his time with Orochimaru, Sasuke hardly thought twice about the compound itself.

But now that he wanders the world, snuffing out threats to the Land of Fire before they can prosper, on an eternal journey of atonement, he finds himself wishing the Uchiha compound still stood. He can’t help but remember the look on Naruto’s face when he told him that it had been destroyed in Pain’s attack; the way his eyebrows pinched together, his lips curled into a frown and his bright blue eyes filled with blazing sympathy that Sasuke did not deserve.

Sasuke was astonished by how badly he wanted to kiss him.

“Calm down, idiot,” he said instead, wanting to escape from the sensation of overwhelming fondness. He lightly pushed Naruto’s shoulder. “It was going to get demolished sooner or later.”

It was true; there was no purpose for it. The last surviving Uchiha had made himself an enemy of the village, no one was ever going to occupy the space again. It was a crime scene, a landscape where sorrow and anguish permeated, haunted by the ghosts of Konoha’s underlying corruption and violence. It was better off gone.

But now that Sasuke is back in Konoha after long months of travel, he really wishes that his house, at the very least, still stood. It would make an ideal spot to crash during his brief visits; it would have all that he needs. A bed, a kitchen, peace and quiet, personal space to take advantage of the chance to find nostalgia within the home as opposed to pure hatred and agony.

He would have even enjoyed deep cleaning the place, renovating all that had been run down and removing the thick layers of dust. He knows Naruto would have pestered him to help, and Sasuke, claiming that it was his responsibility alone, would’ve still given in.

Sasuke sighs, lungs tight with a pang of something akin to heartbreak and longing, as he walks through the borders of the village, exchanging a half-nod with the guys on the border patrol shift. He’s going to have to find an inn and then have to find a way to still eat somewhat nutritiously while staying in that inn. It’s nothing he isn’t used to, but most people would associate returning home with routine and relaxation.

Konoha has never symbolized that for Sasuke.

For his first few visits back to Konoha, he had crashed at Naruto’s. It was an arrangement Sasuke had zero problems with. He’d show up unannounced and take advantage of his couch, utilizing the apartment like he officially lived there. Naruto never once complained, always so unbelievably ecstatic that Sasuke was even there to begin with.

Whenever Naruto had to leave for the day, Sasuke would spend his time cleaning up around the place, preparing to give Naruto a hard time about it the second he walked through the door. He would cook for them both, and never planned to admit that he looked forward to granting Naruto the small pleasure of calling, “I’m home!” while being welcomed back and hit with the aroma of a home-cooked meal.

And when they’d eat it together, he’d contentedly listen to Naruto prattle on and on about his day through a bright smile Sasuke felt so lucky to be able to witness. The night would always end with Sasuke lying on the couch, Naruto sitting on the floor next to him, and they’d talk until their eyelids could no longer stay open.

The arrangement was nice. No cost. No concern for food. No camping outside.

But Sasuke stopped lying to himself a long time ago, when Naruto uppercut the shit out of him and softly insisted for the millionth time that they were friends with a claim on each other’s pain, despite the missing arms, especially with the missing arms.

The arrangement was nice because of Naruto. He came back to Konoha each time for Naruto and Naruto alone.

Then Naruto went and got a girlfriend.

Naruto hasn’t even told him that he’s no longer welcome at his place, or to not show up without warning, but Sasuke refuses to chance it. If Naruto asks why, because he most certainly will, Sasuke will say it’s out of respect for his relationship and privacy. Deep down, Sasuke knows good and well that he just couldn’t handle walking in on something he wasn’t meant to see.

Just the thought makes visceral emotion rip through him, an ugly, hideous feeling that threatens to tear his chest apart. He knows he has no right to feel this awful jealousy and potent disdain for a girl who’s done nothing wrong, but Sasuke couldn’t help it even if he tried. When he read Naruto’s supposedly good news in a letter, his heart sank, and picking it back up has nearly been impossible.

Am I not enough? he thought bitterly, fully aware of how unfair and selfish the notion was. Sasuke had caused him so much pain, and now he wasn’t even in the village, and still, he loathed losing to someone who could never hope to relate to what Naruto has gone through. Naruto chased him for years, and he succeeded, Sasuke relented for Naruto, and still, he lost.

Naruto swore to give up his dreams and die with Sasuke, and still, he chose someone else. Sasuke’s heart is no stranger to pain; it’s been in a permanent state of hurt since he was seven years old. But this ache, the grief of missing out on someone he hadn’t even realized he loved this viscerally to someone who doesn’t know his heart, his deep-rooted solitude, as well as Sasuke does, is different.

It’s dull and persistent, missing the inferno and rage of his hatred for once his brother and then the Leaf, and yet still so bothersome, a constant, electric current of sadness that he finds disgustingly pathetic. Sasuke had never given much thought to proper romance; up until three years ago, he had always been concerned with revenge, so consumed with darkness that he was blind to anything else.

And even as he began to realize that his feelings for Naruto were something the average pair of friends would never be able to relate to, he never planned to act on them. He wouldn’t have even known where to start.

He was fine disregarding them and simply taking in the small pleasures of a Naruto-centered life. Cooking for him, talking to him, seeing him smile, pretending to hate the hug Naruto greeted him with every time he returned, re-wrapping the bandages for Naruto’s prosthetic as Naruto praised him for being able to be so efficient with one hand.

Sasuke was pleased to just revisit his fond memories of Naruto from the past decade whenever he was far from the village. And when he was feeling masochistic and in a mood of self-loathing, Naruto was still at the forefront of his mind. He’d remember their first fight at the Valley of the End; the way tears streamed down the curve of Naruto’s cheeks, even as he bared his fangs and pounced.

Sasuke broke his heart first.

And Naruto’s unintentional revenge manifested within a union with the Hyuga girl who had always been so privileged in a way Naruto never was. Now Sasuke is left to yearn for something he didn’t realize he even wanted until Naruto shredded his heart in a single sentence with a horribly placed exclamation point.

Sasuke, in full dramatics, never wanted to return back to Konoha if it meant encountering the one light in his life that he couldn’t actually have. But in his letters, Naruto said he missed him. Sasuke’s first thought was: Do you? Is she not keeping you occupied? Then Sasuke allowed himself the pleasure of being missed, of being thought of. His tendency over the years to disregard such a thing has only caused him more pain.

Now here Sasuke is, having come back to the village for business with Kakashi that could’ve been resolved from afar, for the reason of no longer wanting to disappoint the man he will love for the rest of his life. He can be happy that Naruto found someone to take away his solitude, and he can bottle up his own emotions in the same way he has his entire life.

It’ll hurt, but Sasuke can take it.

First on Sasuke’s agenda is to find an inn, but he should have known that he’d barely make it a mile into the village before sensing Naruto’s chakra getting increasingly closer. He can’t suppress the excitement. It’s been so long since he’s seen him; and in between that time and now has been nothing but heartbreak.

Soothe me, Naruto, the most pitiful part of him pleads. Remind me why I love you.

Sasuke’s heart immediately clenches when a flash of black with pops of orange appears in front of him from afar. Naruto is sprinting towards him excitedly, effortlessly dodging civilians, and Sasuke can see his massive smile from here. Sasuke can’t fight his own tiny smile at the sight. He stays put, bracing himself for the collision.

“Sasuke! You’re back!” Naruto exclaims as their chests collide, strong arms embracing Sasuke’s shoulders tightly. Sasuke’s feet barely budge as his arm instinctively circles around Naruto’s waist—and what a narrow waist he has, Sasuke can’t help but note. Naruto pulls away too quickly, stepping back a respectable distance, his smile still present on his face. Sasuke misses the contact.

“Naruto,” Sasuke says, the love-sick fondness so evident to his ears that he inwardly cringes. Naruto thankfully doesn’t seem to notice. Instead, he looks at Sasuke with those beautiful eyes, looking so insanely happy to see him that Sasuke wants to bash his own head against a wall. Is that not love in Naruto’s eyes? Does he look at his girlfriend this way?

“You know, it wouldn’t hurt for you to say you’re coming,” Naruto admonishes, taking Sasuke’s hand in a movement so natural and skipping in a direction Sasuke is all too familiar with. The direction of Naruto’s apartment. “I’d actually clean up a little.”

“You know I don’t care,” Sasuke says, having meant to say something else. He corrects himself, despite not wanting to. “But I was actually going to get an inn this time.”

Naruto frowns. “What? Why?”

“Respecting your privacy.” Sasuke says it like it’s obvious.

“Since when does that matter?” Naruto says, scrunching his nose cutely. “You sneak in through the window without saying anything any other time. I’m not letting you spend money on something so dumb.”

But what about her? Do you not spend time with her? Or am I about to lay on your couch in silence while you’re gone all night?

Sasuke brings none of that up. He can’t talk about her—them. He wouldn’t be able to keep the disdain out of his voice. And if not disdain, then overwhelming sadness that he wouldn’t be able to explain.

“Fine.”

“Don’t sound so mad,” Naruto laughs, squeezing his hand with his left, his hand that’s still flesh and blood; warm, big, and calloused. Sasuke squeezes back, aware of the way they must look, holding hands and softly smiling, strolling through a village that shunned them both. Sasuke’s heart skips miserably. “I even got a new flavor of ramen from Suna that you can try.”

Sasuke snorts. “You’re not eating ramen as long as I’m here.”

The haunted look on Naruto’s face almost makes Sasuke laugh.

“Fine. You’re not eating just ramen as long as I’m here.”

“Oh, Sasuke! I knew you loved me!” Naruto exclaims, interlacing their fingers and tugging his arm to pull him closer.

Sasuke tenses, hoping he was able to control the wince before it happened. “As if, idiot. I guess I just have a responsibility to make sure the next hokage doesn’t die from malnutrition.”

Naruto laughs again, the sound warm and pleasant, and it settles the anxiety in Sasuke’s abdomen. “What would I do without you?” he says, swinging their hands. Sasuke should pull his hand away.

What you’ve been doing. Getting a girlfriend. Probably kissing her and heavens forbid anything further. Showing her parts of yourself that I haven’t seen—will never be able to see.

Sasuke’s throat feels tight. This might be a lot harder than he anticipated.

“Who knows,” is all he says.

“Anyway, we have a lot to catch up on! I’m so happy you’re back.”

Small pleasures. Sasuke will keep greedily collecting them.

—

It’s Naruto who cooks for Sasuke tonight.

Sasuke was a little skeptical, insisting that he was not eating instant ramen, but as he sits at Naruto’s rather nice island—when rebuilding the village after the war, they insisted on their war hero having a much nicer, much more spacious place than the one he grew up in—he can’t deny that the aroma wafting from the wok is very enticing.

“When the hell did you get a wok?”

“It was a gift from the Hyuga clan! Hinata has been teaching me how to cook more.”

Sasuke seriously needs his naturally dramatic inner disposition to relax before his heart literally stops beating. “I see,” he says, interesting himself with the marble of the counter. He should be the one showing Naruto how to cook. Maybe he should’ve asked Naruto if he wanted to learn during those days he’d cook for him.

But in those moments, he so badly just wanted to do something for Naruto, something no one has ever done for him.

Now Sasuke isn’t the only one.

He’s pulled out of his head when Naruto places a spoon and a bowl with a hefty portion of rice in front of him. It’s egg fried rice with a myriad of vegetables, but Sasuke notices that his bowl has a healthier serving of tomatoes than Naruto’s does. Sasuke forgets his woes momentarily. He even smiles a little.

“This surprisingly looks really good,” he says to Naruto who takes the stool next to him.

“Surprisingly?” Naruto asks, feigning offense as he playfully shoulder checks him.

“Thank you for the food,” Sasuke says before taking a bite.

“Of course! I couldn’t wait to show you what I’ve learned,” Naruto says earnestly, before stuffing his face with a spoonful of rice. Over that spoonful, he says, “I made sure to learn dishes I know you like.”

Sasuke curses the heat he feels crawling up his neck. Part of the reason Naruto learned to cook was for him. He probably could have gone his entire life making nothing but ramen, and yet he still put in effort to learn how to make what Sasuke enjoys—he took note of what Sasuke enjoys. And ever the improver, he’s been doing a great job if this rice dish is anything to go by. It’s incredibly flavorful, and the rice is perfectly cooked.

How is Sasuke supposed to go on with his life knowing someone else has this man? Is he not for Sasuke? He knows he doesn’t deserve Naruto, but can’t the world relent for one thing? Sasuke has atoned, he will continue to atone, can’t he have this embodiment of sunshine he has shared pain with since they were young, lonely children making awkward eye contact at the stream?

“Is it good?” Naruto blinks at him, looking for Sasuke’s genuine answer.

Sasuke wants to tease him. Sasuke chooses honesty instead. “Very. I’m impressed.”

Naruto preens, beaming so brightly. “I got the Uchiha approval; maybe if being hokage doesn’t work out, I should become a chef.”

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself now.”

With a laugh, Naruto brushes his shoulder against Sasuke’s, and in this moment, while they scarf down their dinner, in the comfortable presence of each other, Sasuke doesn’t suppress the vast amount of love that lives within him. He lets himself feel it; he steals glances at Naruto’s beautiful face, he savors the taste of the near-expertly cooked tomatoes, he acknowledges to himself that the sound of Naruto’s laugh after months without it is pure music.

It hurts badly. But Sasuke has never been one to shy away from pain. He’s never been able to.

—

Sasuke has somehow ended up in Naruto’s bed.

It isn’t suggestive at all, both of them dressed in simple night clothes of a t-shirt and sweatpants. Naruto wanted to talk hours into the night as usual, but he also wanted to lie in bed, rolling his eyes when Sasuke joked he must’ve been exhausted after cooking a real dinner. Now here they lay, on top of Naruto’s rumpled comforter, talking about absolutely nothing, mindless words of sleep because they don’t want to part ways just yet.

Sasuke’s eyelids are heavy, but he can’t fall asleep here. Not in Naruto’s bed, even if the comforting scent of him that Sasuke breathes in with each inhale threatens to pull him under. Naruto’s bed is also way too big for just him, and very soft; it’s a luxury, really. A luxury that Sasuke can’t remember the last time he’s had. Naruto deserves nothing less.

He doesn’t know if Naruto would pick him up and carry him to the couch if he fell asleep, or if he’d leave him here. Both thoughts are embarrassing.

What he does know is that Naruto looks lovely under the glow of the moonlight filtering through the blinds. He’d love to fall asleep to this, and then wake up to the sunlight making his tan skin shine. The thought of waking up to Naruto’s smiling face makes his chest ache with longing so badly he closes his eyes, needing away from the sight.

“Hey, Sasuke.”

“Hmm,” he grunts noncommittally.

Bandaged fingers brush a lock of hair from his face, although it falls right back in place. If Sasuke was a little more awake, he’d harp on the sheer intimacy of Naruto’s fingers caressing his cheekbone in the process.

“You can go to sleep, you know,” Naruto’s own sleepy voice says.

Sasuke is about to protest, but then Naruto annoyingly pulls the blanket from underneath him, nearly forcing Sasuke out of his sleepy daze, before he throws it over him, going the extra mile to tuck him in. Under the warmth of the thick blanket that smells just like Naruto and the odd delight of being tucked in, Sasuke forgets why he couldn’t sleep here.

He’s out quickly.

—

Sasuke is in Naruto’s lap, straddling him with his sole arm hooked around his neck as their mouths move heatedly in tandem. There is that potent heat of arousal present in every inch of Sasuke’s body, such delicious warmth that intensifies with each stroke of Naruto’s tongue alongside his. Naruto tightens his arms around him, a strong hold around his waist, and the sheer possessiveness of the action makes Sasuke moan into his mouth.

Yes, he thinks. I’m yours. Keep making me yours.

When Naruto gropes his ass, big hand taking an indulgent handful, his hips twitch and his breath hitches when his erection brushes against Naruto’s. Sasuke’s so hard, and he can still feel the blood rapidly rushing down that he worries he’ll be lightheaded soon. They’re only in their underwear, their bare chests pressed together in such intimate contact that Sasuke blushes.

With the grip on his ass, Naruto guides Sasuke’s hips until he’s grinding in earnest, their cocks dragging together through the cloth. The friction makes Sasuke gasp, breaking the kiss and panting on Naruto’s mouth. Each roll of his hips makes pleasure spark up his spine, stealing his breath and making his eyelids flutter shut.

“Naruto,” he gasps when slick lips latch onto his neck, pressing wet kisses into his skin. Naruto mouths at the skin under his jaw, and Sasuke squirms, ears burning with each tiny moan he lets out, helpless to the pleasure of it all. He rolls his hips faster, desperately chasing his release, wanting to keep feeling the way Naruto’s cock drags against his.

He wants to see it, taste it, feel it. He wants.

“Good,” Naruto breathes on his neck. “Keep feeling good for me, Sasuke.”

Sasuke tilts his head down to look at the way his blue eyes are dark with lust, his pupils eating at the vibrant color. He shudders, committing the sight of Naruto like this to memory. He’s so pretty, and yet he’s looking at Sasuke like he’s the only man in the world. Suddenly, he feels a lot closer to his orgasm, a hot churning in his abdomen that aches to be released.

“Naruto,” he whines, grinding his hips even faster, sloppily, needing. It feels divine, and Sasuke knows only proper contact could feel better, but right now, his cock is throbbing, needing one thing and right now. “Fuck, Naruto, I’m gonna—"

Sasuke jolts awake with a gasp, drenched in sweat and his heart rapidly beating against his ribcage. For a split second he’s confused, waking up in a bed as opposed to a couch, but when his brain finally catches up with him, he flushes in utter humiliation. It doesn’t help that his adrenaline is still high, his cock still so hard in his sweatpants, aching for touch.

And it especially doesn’t help that Naruto is looking right at him, curious concern evident in his eyes, but with a telltale blush that dusts over his nose. Sasuke’s face burns. He immediately starts considering the easiest way to kill himself, or maybe kill Naruto, or maybe both of them, not without the entire village in between.

He doesn’t know what to say and Naruto’s not saying anything either. They’re just staring at each other, listening to Sasuke’s embarrassing panting slowly dwindle down. He’s half tempted to just crawl out of the bed and disappear without a word—but Naruto might see his erection, and that’s a sort of confirmation Sasuke cannot deal with.

He can’t fucking believe his traitorous brain—and traitorous cock that jolts hard when he remembers the way Naruto kissed him, holding onto him so tightly, his dick nudging against Sasuke’s balls. Sasuke’s face burns harsher. He wishes it was real.

“Um—” Sasuke starts; for once, the silence is agonizing.

“It’s okay,” Naruto says.

“…What’s okay?”

Naruto laughs awkwardly. Then his hand reaches out to caress Sasuke’s cheek. Sasuke flinches, his face so hot that Naruto’s palm feels cold. Naruto doesn’t pull his hand away. “You were dreaming about me, weren’t you?”

“I—” Lie to him, Sasuke. Tell him he’s wrong. Sasuke says nothing else, feeling defeated, weak, and insurmountably embarrassed that he doesn’t think he’ll be able to come back from this—and Sasuke has done many shameful things in his life. Then he realizes that he’s embarrassed of a dream—how does Naruto know he was dreaming of him? “What makes you think that?”

He holds his breath.

“I heard you say my name. It didn’t sound like you were having a nightmare.”

Sasuke wills his heart to stop beating immediately. “Oh. Sorry.” Sasuke turns the other way and starts scooting to get out, needing to remove himself from this situation quickly. If he moves fast enough, he can maybe avoid Naruto seeing something he shouldn’t. Except a strong arm wraps around his waist and pulls him back until he’s flush against Naruto’s chest.

His heart stutters violently, fluttering warmth assaulting his abdomen.

“What are you doing?” he says, twisting his head to glare at him, except Naruto is extremely close. It’d be so easy to kiss him.

“You don’t have to be embarrassed,” Naruto says, his breath tickling Sasuke’s ear. “I’m not mad.”

“I—it doesn’t matter. I should go.”

Naruto whines childishly, burying his face in Sasuke’s neck. “But you just got here.”

Sasuke fights off a shudder but can’t find it within himself to push Naruto away. “I won’t leave the village but I should go get an inn.”

“Sasuke,” Naruto starts, tightening his arm, his body a warm line against Sasuke’s. He may be battling extreme humiliation, but Sasuke can’t deny that he’s loving the touch and the strength that Naruto’s body effortlessly carries. “I’m serious. Let me take care of you.”

“…What?”

“I’ve been neglecting you, haven’t I?” Naruto snakes his hand underneath Sasuke’s shirt, smoothing up the marred skin of his stomach, and Sasuke shivers, biting his lip as warring emotions clash within him. There’s want; there will always be the strongest want, desire so potent that it hurts. But there’s also the underlying worry that Sasuke shamefully wants to ignore.

Don’t ruin a good thing for my sake, he wants to say.

Take away the heartbreak you gave me, he also wants to say.

“Naruto…”

Naruto’s fingers play with his waistband and Sasuke tenses.

“It’s okay, Sasuke. Let me do this for you.”

But we can’t is on the tip of his tongue, but he can’t voice it. He wants this more than anything.

As if reading Sasuke’s mind, Naruto insists, “I promise it’s fine. I want to do this.”

Sasuke should do the right thing. He should tell Naruto to remember that he has a loving girlfriend who is undoubtedly loyal to him, a girl who has never tried to hurt him or the village. He should even get angry that Naruto would dare play with his feelings like this, offering to take care of him as if this doesn’t go beyond unwavering lust.

Soft lips press against his temple, and it’s pathetically effective in weakening him completely.

“I want your left hand,” he says, pushing away the guilt.

“Huh?”

“Your real arm.”

“Ah, I see,” Naruto says, the smile evident in his voice. He pushes the blanket off their bodies and even though he’s fully clothed, Sasuke feels so exposed that he has to resist curling inwardly to hide his erection that hasn’t flagged at all. And he wants to die when Naruto pushes him onto his back, putting everything on display, his loose sweatpants hiding nothing.

Naruto makes space between Sasuke’s thighs, sitting back on his haunches as his hands grab for his hips. Sasuke averts his gaze, looking out the window that showcases what must be dawn. He fears that he’ll burn into ash when Naruto’s fingers ghost over his bare hip bones, hyper aware of Naruto’s eyes on him.

“Look at me, Sasuke,” Naruto says.

Sasuke looks at him, and Naruto holds his gaze as he hooks his fingers in his waistband and pulls, only enough to expose Sasuke’s needy cock to the cool air. His breath hitches and he so badly wants to look away, wants to hide himself, but he can’t take his eyes away from Naruto, nor can he escape the unbridled affection he feels for the man between his legs.

This is the first time Sasuke has ever been seen like this. This will be the first time Sasuke has ever been touched like this. He’s so glad it’s Naruto.

Naruto’s eyes flicker down. “I knew you’d be pretty here, too.”

“Shut up, idiot,” Sasuke says, hiding his face with his hand, feeling shy in a way that’s totally unlike him.

Naruto promptly pulls his hand away. “Don’t hide from me, beautiful. I want to make sure you’re feeling good.”

“Well, less talking and more touching,” Sasuke snaps, because his attitude feels like the only thing he can still control. Naruto called him beautiful. It isn’t the first time he’s been told this, but it’s so incredibly special when it’s from the love of his life. It makes him preen, his arousal strengthening. This level of exposure is new, but it doesn’t curb his lust in the slightest. He wants Naruto to see all of him. He wants to see all of Naruto.

Naruto chuckles. “On it.”

As promised, Naruto spits in his left hand and wraps it around Sasuke’s leaking cock; the first stroke makes Sasuke shudder with an eye roll, his gasp catching in his throat as his hips jerk. Oh, he’s not going to last long at all. Naruto sets a steady pace, languidly twisting his warm hand, his callouses dragging against the overheated skin of his dick.

It feels way better than when Sasuke has ever touched himself, and he doesn’t think he’ll be able to go back to not having this. He so badly wants to spend the rest of his days waking up to this. Naruto touches his body with ease, pulling pleasure out of him so freely, his other hand sliding up Sasuke’s torso to grope at his chest.

Sasuke moans when fingertips find his nipple, his entire body tensing. Naruto plays with it until it’s hard and tender, flicking it in tandem with his strokes. And Sasuke can’t stop crying out, his toes curling as Naruto expertly pushes him toward an orgasm that might kill him.

“God, Sasuke, you’re leaking so much. I can’t believe you’re real,” Naruto says above him, his sharp teeth biting his lip so hard Sasuke worries he’ll break skin. His pupils are eating at the sky blue of his eyes, his gaze so dark with lust, just like his dream. Naruto himself is nothing less than a fucking dream with his bronzed skin flushed a pretty red, his short hair disheveled from the night, his lips plump and pink—Sasuke wants to kiss him badly.

“Naruto,” Sasuke groans, reaching a hand out to curl his fingers in his shirt, wishing he’d take the damn thing off.

“Good?”

“Fuck yes,” Sasuke breathes out. “So fucking good.”

Naruto licks his lips. “You’re gorgeous, Sasuke. Fuck, I’ve wanted to do this for so long.”

Sasuke moans, his back arching as he’s overcome with emotionally charged pleasure that’s in dire need of an outlet. Does Naruto have any idea what he’s doing to Sasuke? Does he think about Sasuke the same way Sasuke does him? Does he yearn the way Sasuke does? And if so, why did he—

Sasuke shakes the thought out of his head before it can form, choosing to lose himself in the pleasure of Naruto’s warm, safe hands. Right now, Naruto is his. He’ll take what he can get. And yet, tears still prick his eyes. He pulls Naruto by the shirt, needing him closer.

He wants a kiss. Maybe Sasuke can’t have that.

“Naruto, please,” he begs, not entirely sure what he’s begging for, but he’s never needed too many words with Naruto.

“I got you, baby. Just let go for me. It’s alright,” he says, voice unfairly sultry.

Sasuke, always so willing to do anything for Naruto, lets go, his orgasm wracking his body in the most intense wave he’s ever experienced, pure pleasure and want and love surging through him in a pulse so powerful, it’s nearly agonizing. He squeezes his eyes shut, his fingers close to ripping Naruto’s shirt apart, and he moans, and moans, and moans, his throat overworked as his cock makes a complete mess of Naruto’s hand and his own shirt.

It feels fucking endless, especially with the way Naruto doesn’t remove his hand, only slowing his pace considerably, his hand still a scorching brand on his sensitive cock.

“Naruto,” Sasuke cries, a stray tear falling to his ear. Naruto doesn’t hesitate to wipe it away.

“I’m here, Sasuke,” he assures, caressing his cheek so gently.

When he opens his eyes, he’s met with the sight of Naruto staring down at him like he’s something precious. Sasuke’s heart aches.

Kiss me, Naruto. Please, kiss me. Kiss me.

He wants to beg, but he’s been selfish enough.

“You’re cute,” Sasuke croaks instead, his breath hardly caught.

Naruto finally takes his hand off his softening cock. He laughs, a sweet sound that makes fresh arousal simmer within Sasuke, as if he hasn’t just come hard as fuck.

“Says you,” Naruto says. He looks down at the mess on his hand and Sasuke’s shirt. “You came so much, beautiful. Do you not jerk off?”

Sasuke bristles. “When would I have time for that?”

“Depending on who you ask, you, of all people, have plenty of time.”

Sasuke rolls his eyes and then reluctantly swings his leg around Naruto, needing to get rid of the come drying on his skin and shirt. But while he’s trying to stand on his feet with his trembling legs, he catches sight of the bulge in Naruto’s pants. His throat goes dry and his spent cock somehow twitches.

It’s big, straining against the fabric. Sasuke feels empty all of a sudden.

Naruto just watches him patiently.

“I’m gonna go clean up, unless…you want me to help with that,” Sasuke says, nodding towards his crotch.

Naruto shakes his head with a gentle smile. “You don’t have to.”

Sasuke resists the urge to insist that he fucking wants to; he’s already done enough damage, but the rejection still stings. He nods and makes his way to the bathroom. He allows a few tears to fall without shame. He got what he wanted, but not even. He can never have Naruto in the way he truly wants.

Sasuke wants what Hinata has. Sasuke deserves what Hinata has.

What about Sasuke’s heart?

—

Sasuke had decided the best course of action was to just take a shower, his shirt and underwear not worth wearing anymore. It had given him enough time to let the events of the morning sink in and decide his next course of action. He didn’t want anything to be weird or strained between them, but Sasuke knew this couldn’t be good for his heart.

Whatever. He’s gone through worse. He’ll follow whatever Naruto decides.

When he emerges from the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips, his dirty clothes bundled under his arm, he fully expects Naruto to be getting ready for the day, considering it’s a Monday; he ought to have something on his agenda. But when Sasuke peeks into his room on the way to the living room, Naruto is still sitting on the bed in his pajamas.

He accidentally makes eye contact.

His first instinct would be to look away and keep walking. Refusing to make it awkward between them, he opts to talk. “Shouldn’t you be getting dressed? I’m sure you have things to do.”

“Maybe I wanted a shower, too,” Naruto grumbles.

“Right…” Sasuke says, getting ready to turn away.

“Hey, Sasuke,” Naruto starts, standing up from the bed and making his way over to him. He doesn’t stop until they’re right in front of each other, eye to eye. Sasuke feels way too naked for this. “About this morning—”

“It’s fine. Don’t harp on it. I won’t mention it.”

“But it’s not fair. To you. Or to her.”

Sasuke doesn’t say anything. It’s not fair. But nothing has ever been fair for Sasuke or nearly anyone in Konoha.

He holds his breath when Naruto’s hands find his waist, his bare waist that’s still warm and damp from his shower. Naruto leans in close, voice dropping as he says, “You know, I meant it when I said I’ve been wanting to do that for a long time.”

Once again, Sasuke remains quiet as Naruto backs him into a wall, crowding his space. Sasuke is slightly taller than him, so it’s not like he’s towering over, but he might as well be with how small Sasuke feels. Naruto pushes the clothes out of his hands, kicking them away when they hit the floor. Sasuke’s towel is holding on for dear life.

“Is this your way of being fair?” Sasuke asks, hand itching to slide under Naruto’s shirt.

“No,” Naruto says. “This is my way of being selfish.”

“I should resent you for this,” Sasuke says, hand cupping the side of Naruto’s neck.

“I know.”

“Do you, Naruto?” Sasuke holds his gaze, searching for any indication in those mesmerizing eyes that Naruto actually does know.

“I do. I’m sorry.”

“You’ve chased after me for years. When did you get so lazy?”

“More like when did I get so cowardly.”

“Well,” Sasuke says, hand sliding up to hold his jaw, his thumb brushing over the whisker marks that Sasuke has wanted to touch since they were children. “Show me that you understand. Show me that you know my heart.”

For Sasuke’s tendency to boss him around, his blood still surges in a scorching hot flash when Naruto kisses him, a deep kiss filled with passion right from the start. Naruto kisses him breathless, kissing him like he’s starving, and Sasuke can relate all too well. He hooks his arm around his neck, like he’s dreamt of too many times, and pulls him closer, wanting to make the kiss impossibly deeper.

He follows Naruto’s hungry pace with ease, their lips melding together perfectly. The pain will forever be residual, but still, his heart soars, a quick beat in his chest as Naruto takes his lip between his, granting Sasuke the simple yet utterly divine pleasure of intimacy. Sasuke moans when Naruto’s tongue slips into his mouth, a shiver wracking his body.

Everything feels too hot, so deliciously hot, and all Sasuke can do is hold on, soft moans pouring from the back of his throat as their tongues brush together, the wet, velvety contact so addicting Sasuke wonders where they’d be if they had spent more time doing this than fighting viciously. He can feel his cock stirring when Naruto sucks on his tongue, the action filthy.

When Naruto pulls back, they’re both panting, a string of saliva connecting their mouths. They follow it, their slick lips colliding for another sloppy, teeth-clacking kiss, before pulling apart again.

“Fuck, Sasuke, I want you so bad.”

“You have me, idiot.” Always have.

Naruto grins, showing off his sharp fangs that Sasuke wants to drag his tongue across. So, he does just that, sliding his tongue over his teeth until he parts them, licking underneath to feel how they threaten to cut him. Kissing Naruto feels so natural, so effortless, and when Naruto moans when Sasuke properly seals their mouths together, his lust skyrockets. Sasuke needs to hear more.

Sasuke yanks at his shirt before demanding, “Take this shit off.”

Naruto obeys him, throwing the shirt to join Sasuke’s dirty clothes. And Sasuke doesn’t hesitate to look, eyes hungrily raking over tan skin pulled over built muscle, his pecs so thick his teeth ache with the need to sink into them, biting around small, dusky pink nipples. Naruto has a lethal six-pack, but what makes Sasuke’s mouth really go dry is the thick happy trail, soft blonde hair leading to what Sasuke wants the most.

“You’re so fucking hot,” Sasuke says before his brain can catch up to his mouth.

“Yeah? Well, look at you,” Naruto says, eyeing up Sasuke’s body.

Sasuke kisses him. “You gonna take me back to bed or what?”

“You gonna tell me what you were dreaming about?” Naruto asks, a mischievous glint in his eye as he grabs Sasuke’s waist, the two of them stumbling back into his bedroom. Sasuke blushes, his prior embarrassment remembered.

“Shut up,” he says, kissing Naruto to ensure that he does.

The kiss breaks when Naruto shoves him onto the bed, kneeling to once again claim his place in between Sasuke’s legs. Sasuke scoots up to rest against the pillows, aware of how his dick is starting to poke through the towel that somehow still remains. He wonders if he should move it, only to gasp when Naruto yanks it off him.

He’s about to complain about being the only one fully naked when Naruto says, “Oh, come on, it had to have been good. You should’ve heard yourself. Had me so fucking hard before you even woke up.”

Sasuke fears his face might fall off with the heat radiating off it. The thought of moaning uncontrollably in his sleep makes him rethink ever sleeping again.

“You’re so red!” Naruto laughs, grabbing his chin to lay a wet kiss on his mouth, eliciting a moan from Sasuke. “You don’t have to be embarrassed, you know. It’s just me. If only you knew what my dreams have looked like for years.”

“Years?”

“Are you kidding? I still think about that flowy white shirt of yours.”

Sasuke laughs, in disbelief—and to suppress the part of him that is screaming then why her. But he remembers that day, remembers telling himself a half-assed excuse to get that close to Naruto, chest to chest, subconsciously hungry for that intimacy. He’s never stopped being hungry for that intimacy.

“Show me what that white shirt made you want to do to me.”

Another kiss steals the air right out of his lungs, leaving him to gasp for more when Naruto ducks his head in the crook of his neck, licking a stripe against his skin. “I wanted to taste you so bad,” Naruto mumbles, pressing kisses into every patch of skin he sees. “Wanted to mark you up.”

Sasuke shivers, his fingers finding unfairly soft blonde hair. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Naruto affirms, kissing down Sasuke’s sternum. “Couldn’t stop thinking about it, especially…” Naruto’s tongue sweeps across one of Sasuke’s nipples, before his lips close around it, suckling with an indulgent moan. Sasuke arches, biting his lip to conceal his whine, startled by how the sensation goes straight to his cock, his blood churning. He jolts every time he’s teased with teeth, his fingers twitching in Naruto’s hair.

Naruto’s hand squeezes Sasuke’s other pec, thumbing his neglected nipple until it mirrors the tender erectness of the one he’s relentlessly sucking on, rendering Sasuke a squirming and whimpering mess, his hard cock pulsing and leaking as it’s trapped against Naruto’s stomach. He starts moving his hips, the friction of his cock dragging against Naruto’s soft skin too good to resist, warm sparks of pleasure tugging at his groin each time.

“Naruto,” he groans, going mad from how all of these sensations are so fucking much but not nearly enough. “Naruto, I—”

Naruto raises his head and kisses him. “What do you want, Sasuke? Anything.”

Sasuke knows exactly what he wants, but he isn’t sure if it’s his to have. Part of him wants to stop things here, halt this before Naruto does something he’ll regret and ruin his ticket to getting the one thing he has always wanted—a family. Sasuke doesn’t want to cause Naruto any more pain, but he wants a family too. And he can’t imagine it without Naruto.

He loves fiercely and that love has notoriously clouded his judgment in the past. It might be a flaw until he dies.

Sasuke cups Naruto’s jaw, his thumb brushing against his bottom lip. “Anything, huh?”

Naruto nods, his own desire clear in the depths of his gorgeous eyes. Sasuke wants to see him come—he wants to feel it deep inside him. He wants Naruto’s pleasure, and he wants to see the look on his face in the throes of it. Sasuke wants to feel whole in a way his own fingers never could give him. Sasuke wants Naruto. He wants him today and tomorrow and forever.

“Fuck me, Naruto.”

Sasuke feels oddly accomplished when Naruto responds with a throaty moan, his brows scrunching together as if he was pleasured directly. What a handsome face he has, what an erotic sight he makes. Sasuke closes the gap between their mouths, sighing on Naruto’s lips to display just how good it feels to be here with him, just how much he wants this.

“I wanna feel you inside me,” Sasuke says, feeling all the shame bleed out of him with the admission. “I want you to fill me up. I want you to fuck me like I’m yours.”

“Fuck, Sasuke,” Naruto groans, his hips twitching in between Sasuke’s legs, nudging against his bare cock. “You’re going to drive me insane.”

“You’ve already driven me insane. Make good on it.”

“Alright then,” Naruto laughs, his grin so bright and pretty it makes Sasuke’s chest ache all over again. “Then let me get you prepped, I’d hate to hurt you.”

The persistent pain of heartbreak that Sasuke is instantly reminded of dissipates the moment Naruto backs off and then flips him onto his stomach, before crawling over him to reach into the nightstand. Sasuke inhales sharply when the action causes Naruto’s bulge to press against his ass, a thick promise that he’s so thirsty for.

As if noticing Sasuke’s slight reaction, even when he’s grabbed what he’s wanted, he grinds against Sasuke’s ass, kissing along his shoulder. Every part of Sasuke feels too hot, and he moans as Naruto thrusts against him, jostling him up the bed.

“Holy shit, Naruto, take your fucking pants off.”

“Right, right,” Naruto says, and then Sasuke hears the shifting of fabric. Then there’s scorching hot, hard, girthy pressure sliding right between his asscheeks. Sasuke groans loudly, his eyes rolling back. Naruto keeps thrusting against him, grunting harshly directly in his ear, and the movement makes Sasuke’s cock drag against the comforter, pleasure assaulting him at every end.

“Naruto,” he whines. “Stop teasing me—ah, please, fuck me.”

“So needy,” Naruto says, pressing kisses on his cheek. “I’ll make it so good for you.”

He kisses down the length of Sasuke’s spine until he reaches his ass. Two large hands pry his asscheeks apart, and although he isn’t entirely sure what to expect, he can assume that the sudden halt in Naruto’s movements is because he’s ogling the part of Sasuke no one has ever seen. Sasuke buries his face in his arm, willing away the part of him that feels entirely too exposed.

But Naruto is too quiet, and Sasuke is about to ask him what the hell he’s waiting for, until something hot and wet drags across his asshole, and Sasuke jolts hard with a choked groan, embarrassed by how dirty the action is—and how fucking delicious it feels. Naruto is in a world of his own, it seems, with the way he possessively grips Sasuke’s ass, groping and kneading as he licks hard into Sasuke, his mouth a devastating seal on his hole. Sasuke can hardly think, can’t even put enough words together to beg, as he writhes helplessly, fingers digging into the blanket.

All he can manage is a broken, “Na—” that immediately tapers into a whimper, his toes curling as Naruto’s mouth makes a slick mess of his hole, his tongue prodding at the rim until it gives. Sasuke rocks his hips back, meeting the thrusts of Naruto’s tongue, wanting more, wanting to really feel the stretch. Naruto groans into his skin, gripping his ass so hard to the point Sasuke wonders if there will be bruises, and he starts eating him out even sloppier, rapidly flicking his tongue, closing his lips around Sasuke’s rim and sucking.

The slickness of it all sounds so obscene to Sasuke’s ears, but no more obscene than the whorish cries pouring out of his own mouth, his body starting to tremble from the onslaught of euphoric sensation. He cries Naruto’s name over and over, like it’s the only word he knows. And Sasuke is only so strong when it comes to Naruto—he’s close, so close, every cell in his body on fire, hungry for reprieve, and he can’t find it within himself to tell Naruto to stop.

“Naruto, Naruto, please, Naruto,” he chants, losing his grip on his mind, lost in the decadent heat of it all.

Sharp teeth catch on his rim, and Sasuke’s orgasm crashes hard into him, knocking the breath straight from his lungs as his body tenses, helpless to the explosion of ecstasy that takes over his head. He gasps Naruto’s name as he dirties his sheets, his hips mindlessly twitching between the bed and Naruto’s greedy mouth.

He doesn’t take a proper breath until Naruto raises from his ass, and even then, he’s panting rapidly, his heartbeat loud in his ears. Naruto crawls over him to kiss his shoulder, his neck, his face, and Sasuke could easily fall asleep like this, satiated from two mind blowing orgasms from the man he loves who’s currently kissing him like he’s precious.

Sasuke sighs, his eyes fluttering shut. “Naruto…” he starts, catching himself before he says something he regrets in this state of eternal fondness. “God, you’re so good to me, Naruto.”

Naruto kisses his lips. “I’d do anything for you.”

Sasuke smiles. “Would you destroy Konoha for me?”

“You’re still on that?”

Sasuke laughs, feeling so light and airy. “No, idiot, but how far would you really go for me?”

“...Mass murder might be an exception.”

Sasuke laughs again. He should really laugh more often.

“You’re so cute,” Naruto says, accentuating his words with a kiss. “I’m so fucking glad you’re here. I wish you could stay forever.”

I could, Sasuke thinks. All Naruto needs to do is say the words. He can put his travels on hold if it means having this; even better, he’d make Naruto come with him, and then Naruto can eat him out and kiss him this sweetly in every village around the globe. And with the immensely beautiful landscapes Sasuke has come across on his journey, they wouldn’t even need an inn.

“Naruto…”

“Yeah?”

“Fuck me. I want you to come.” He rocks his hips back to feel Naruto’s cock on his lower back; he’s still so hard that it must hurt, and Sasuke wants to ease that ache for him.

“Sorry, I got a little distracted by your perfect ass,” Naruto says, pulling back.

Sasuke immediately misses him, so he twists onto his back, taking it upon himself to spread his thighs apart, bringing his knees back as far as he can. Naruto’s stunned expression makes him smirk.

“What? Nothing you haven’t seen at this point,” Sasuke teases.

Naruto bites his lip, his eyes raking over Sasuke as if he can’t decide just where to look. Something inside him must snap when he looks at Sasuke’s hole, slick and swollen from his treatment, because he finally grabs the forgotten lube and squeezes a generous amount on his fingers, not without squeezing some into Sasuke’s crack. Naruto rubs the cold substance onto his rim until it warms and Sasuke contentedly rests against the pillows and watches Naruto’s face.

Until his eyes flit down, catching a glimpse of Naruto’s erection bobbing between his thick thighs. He clenches around nothing and has to choke down a groan, his cock fighting hard to come back to life after being so spent. He knew Naruto was well-endowed, he could feel it, but looking at it has him overcome with a sort of arousal that’s nearly too much to bear. His cock is a darker shade than the rest of his skin, and it’s so flushed it nearly looks painful, his tip glistening with his precome. The golden hair that crowns it looks soft and silky, and Sasuke wants to run his fingers through it.

Sasuke’s want becomes all-encompassing. In his mouth, in his hands, in his ass, against his own cock, Sasuke fucking wants.

Naruto slides two fingers into Sasuke’s waiting hole, looking at his face to gauge his reaction. Lip caught between his teeth, Sasuke just looks at him, wordlessly urging him to go on. Naruto doesn’t hesitate, thrusting his fingers in and out and scissoring them to stretch him out. The stretch is uncomfortable at worst, but it quickly bleeds into something pleasant, a rhythmic pump of fingers that’s augmented by the simple fact that they’re really doing this.

Sasuke’s hips jerk when Naruto grazes his prostate, a fleeting touch that he craves more of. Naruto chuckles, but luckily, he spares Sasuke any verbal teasing, instead sliding a third finger into him and thrusting with more intent. The stretch burns more, and the whimper that threatens to escape because of it turns into a broken moan when Naruto presses his prostate with more force, massaging him roughly.

“Ah, feels so good,” Sasuke says, rolling his hips into Naruto’s hand, his cock starting to harden again. The pleasure claims every nerve, molten sensation in addition to the maddening burn of the stretch. Sasuke wants more. Sasuke wants Naruto to tear him apart.

“Should I make you come this way, too?” Naruto asks, his voice rough with lust.

“No,” he whimpers pathetically, knowing he wouldn’t be able to stop it even if he wanted to. Naruto is so good at touching him, so good at wringing pleasure out of him, that it makes Sasuke feel both ashamed and adored. “I want your cock, hurry up.”

“I got you, Sasuke,” Naruto says, but he keeps fingering him, dodging his prostate for the sake of loosening him up, to the point that Sasuke squirms desperately, hungry for the pleasure Naruto keeps denying. Part of him wonders where Naruto is getting his unwavering confidence and expertise from—and he quickly forces the thought down.

Be in the moment, Sasuke.

Finally, Naruto asks, “You ready?”

“Yes,” Sasuke says impatiently. “How are you being so patient?”

Naruto smiles at him, and it’d be sweet if he wasn’t shuffling closer to slide his cock between Sasuke’s asscheeks at the same time. “I don’t want to hurt you, and I don’t wanna rush this. I like to savor my time with you.”

Sasuke thinks he could die from the affection that weighs heavy on his chest.

“You can have me whenever you want,” Sasuke promises, trying to ignore how he’s breaking his own heart. Sasuke never wants to be second best, but what is Sasuke supposed to do? Make him stop? Deny himself this addicting pleasure when his life has been nothing but grief and anguish? Tell Naruto to leave his girlfriend?

I’d do anything for you.

Would he?

Naruto leans down to kiss him, sighing into Sasuke’s mouth as if there’s something he wants to say but can’t. Sasuke can relate all too well. Anticipation courses strongly through him when Naruto leans back, reaching for the lube again. Sasuke resists the urge to groan when Naruto squeezes a generous amount onto his cock, giving him a delightful show by stroking it all along himself.

“Let me know if it hurts,” Naruto says.

Sasuke hums in affirmation, having no intention of stopping Naruto at all, regardless of how it may feel. Sasuke wants him to have his relief, and he wants Naruto to use him to get there. He subconsciously holds his breath when Naruto’s cock kisses his hole. Naruto’s free hand smooths up Sasuke’s twitching abdomen, stopping just shy of his nipples.

“Breathe, Sasuke,” he says.

Sasuke breathes.

And the breath is immediately punched out of him when Naruto pushes inside, his cock feeling a lot thicker than it even looks. Sasuke whimpers through clenched teeth, his fingers curling in the sheets, as Naruto slides in, inch by fucking inch, stretching Sasuke so impossibly wide, he has an irrational fear that he might tear despite all the lube slicking him up, the wetness dripping down his crack. And still, even as an ache starts to bloom in his hips, the burn crawling up the base of his spine, he doesn’t make Naruto stop.

“Yes,” he gasps. “Come on, Naruto, fill me up.”

“Sasuke,” Naruto gasps in turn, his gorgeous face screwed up in pleasure, sweat dripping down his temple. Sasuke reaches his arm out and Naruto follows, bracing himself on his elbows. “Fuck, Sasuke.”

Sasuke moans loudly when Naruto thrusts his hips, shoving the rest of his cock deep inside him. He grabs onto Naruto’s sweaty shoulders, clutching for dear life as Naruto buries his head in his neck, breathing harshly. For a long moment, they stay like that; panting in unison, in each other’s arms, absorbing each other’s warmth. It doesn’t take long at all for the ache to become something sweet, the burn of the stretch turning into warm pleasure, the sensation of being full so fucking amazing Sasuke thinks he could cry.

He can feel Naruto’s cock throbbing inside him, and it makes him shudder, his own cock leaking between their abdomens, filled to the brim with all the blood in Sasuke’s body.

Sasuke presses a kiss to Naruto’s temple. “Come on,” he pants. “I can take it.”

“I know you can,” he mumbles. “I’m gonna come way too fast, you feel so fucking good, Sasuke. So tight.”

Sasuke burns. “I want you to come.”

“Inside you?” Naruto chuckles.

Where he might’ve been expecting Sasuke to be scandalized, Sasuke only moans at the thought, wanting it so badly you’d think he could actually be bred. “Fuck yes.”

Naruto shudders hard in Sasuke’s embrace, moaning a broken, “Fuck,” into Sasuke’s neck. “God, Sasuke, you’re so—fuck, I—"

He doesn’t finish the thought as he pulls his hips back, dragging through Sasuke’s insides in a way that makes a moan emerge from the back of Sasuke’s throat. He clenches down, wanting badly to keep him there, never wanting to be empty again, and it makes Naruto’s breath hitch, his hips stuttering. He thrusts, shallow, and it still makes Sasuke hiss, his nails digging into Naruto’s skin.

“Fuck me like you mean it,” Sasuke demands. “Fuck me the same way you fight me.”

The command must awaken something in Naruto because with a deep groan straight from his chest, he raises to his knees and grabs Sasuke’s waist with both hands, his thumbs pressing under his ribcage. He pulls out until only the tip remains, and Sasuke barely has a second to brace himself before Naruto roughly thrusts back inside, shoving Sasuke up the bed.

Sasuke chokes on his moan, an intense, painful shock of pleasure lancing up his spine.

“Sasuke,” Naruto moans. “You’re fucking perfect, Sasuke.”

Naruto’s grip on his waist is bruising as he rams his cock in and out of him, burrowing deep and carving a space for himself inside Sasuke, forcing him to perfectly meld to the shape of him. And fuck, does Naruto look fucking divine while doing it, his cerulean eyes dark and wild, his sun-kissed skin flushed pink, his kiss-bitten lips parted as he heavily grunts, the occasional sweet whimper spilling out.

Sasuke adores him.

“Fuck,” Sasuke gasps when Naruto hits his prostate, his back arching. The wave of intense pleasure startles him every time, his dick weeping and twitching needily, his nipples hard and aching. He’s never felt like this in his life. He doesn’t want to give it up. “Naruto, Na—oh fuck, Naruto.”

Each thrust forces a guttural moan out of him, his cock leaking and bobbing against his navel, neglected. “Fuck, fuck, Naruto, you’re gonna make me, ah, fucking piss myself,” he says, instantly embarrassed that he’s getting this loose lipped in the midst of getting fucked within an inch of his life. He’s imagined this moment thousands of times, and he never thought it would go quite like this.

Naruto, the fucking idiot, chuckles, an erotic, breathless sound that makes warm pinpricks dance along the surface of his skin. “I wouldn’t be mad,” he says with a smirk that Sasuke wants to kiss off.

“Fucking nasty—oh!”

Naruto grabs underneath his knees, pushes them toward Sasuke, and starts fucking him even faster, nailing his prostate in hard, forceful thrusts. Sasuke can feel the sting of their skin slapping together, Naruto’s heavy balls kissing his ass each time. He can hear the obscene squelch of their coupling, skin against skin, soaked in lubricant.

The same way Sasuke seems to be the most willing to talk when he’s bleeding out, he can’t shut up while getting the shit fucked out of him. “Mmh, Naruto, I can’t believe you’ve been keeping this from me.”

Naruto laughs. It makes Sasuke shiver. “Oh, really?” he says.

“I’ve been thinking about this for so long,” he admits. “I wanted this so fucking bad.”

“How long?”

Sasuke has loved Naruto since they were children. He loved Naruto when he took Haku’s needles for him, and he loved Naruto when his Chidori speared his shoulder. Sasuke couldn’t stand it. He hated that he of all people, the last Uchiha, would have such a weakness for Uzumaki Naruto, the class loser.

Sasuke thought about him constantly; overtrained during his time with Orochimaru because every time his thoughts drifted to eyes that even the ocean couldn’t rival and a loud, gleeful laugh, he had to distract himself—had to remember the hatred. His chest would tighten horribly whenever he’d remember the tears Naruto shed for him.

He didn’t think himself worthy of anyone’s tears.

Sasuke’s first time dreaming of Naruto’s touch was the night he promised to bear the burden of his hatred and abandon his dreams to die with him. He woke up, erect and enraged, and tried his hardest to pretend he was upset that his brain would betray him like that. As if it wasn’t a long time coming, as if he didn’t want to stay asleep a little longer and bask in the painless dreamscape where Naruto kissed him delicately.

“Years,” Sasuke says. “You have no idea.”

“I think I have an idea,” Naruto says, releasing his knees so he can lean down to kiss him tongue first, a messy kiss that Sasuke whimpers into, arching into his strong, radiant body, and clutching desperately, wanting to keep him here forever.

Why didn’t he have the courage to claim him earlier? Why did his jealousy have to rear its ugly head the second Naruto was about to find the sort of happiness he has longed for since he was a kid? He’s always ruining Naruto’s life, always causing damage, and he wants to atone, wants to leave him be, but Sasuke has nothing.

Sasuke doesn’t want anything.

He just wants Uzumaki Naruto in every way there is to have him, and yet, he was too late. Sasuke was the object of his obsession, and yet, he was still too late. Always making mistakes. Tears prick his eyes, and he doesn’t resist them as they fall. Naruto swallows his mewls, hips grinding deep into him.

Sasuke wraps his legs around Naruto’s hips, hooking his ankles together and kissing him even deeper with a hand in his hair. Anything to keep from saying I love you. Sasuke wants to say it. Sasuke wants this burden freed. He won’t. He can’t.

Naruto lifts his head, always so unable to keep still. “You’re so pretty, Sasuke,” he says, pecking his wet lips. “Just looking at you makes me wanna come.”

Sasuke basks in the praise. “Are you close?”

“Yeah,” he breathes, driving into Sasuke like his life depends on it. “You feel amazing.”

“Come in me, Naruto, feel good for me, I want you to,” Sasuke says, his hand tightening on Naruto’s hair on a particularly hard thrust. The tug seems to make Naruto groan, his expression twisting lewdly, and the sheer eroticism of it makes Sasuke shudder, feeling incredibly close to his own orgasm.

He grins despite himself, too ecstatic at the prospect of coming on Naruto’s cock, of coming with Naruto.

“Sasuke,” he gasps, trying to kiss him but unable to keep his own lips closed, breathing heavily and grunting incessantly as his thrusts grow erratic, a display of his own need, his own desperation.

“Yes, Naruto, give it to me,” Sasuke encourages, tugging gently at his hair and tightening his legs around his waist, trapping him, forcing him deeper. He can feel when Naruto’s orgasm hits him, can feel the way his body tenses rigidly against his, hips stilling before he violently shudders, gasping out a dismantled attempt at Sasuke’s name.

Sasuke kisses his slack mouth through it, moaning when he feels the warm, wet gush of Naruto’s come inside him, his cock pulsing relentlessly against Sasuke’s walls. Naruto rides out his orgasm, pushing his come deep inside Sasuke, and that sensation paired with the thrill is enough to have Sasuke coming for a third time, his back arching so deeply his spine aches.

“Na—” he tries to cry out, but the name is lost in a loud moan as his orgasm ravishes his body, white-hot sparks pulsing in intense bursts from his head to his feet. He clutches Naruto’s sweat-slick nape, whimpering into the skin of his warm cheek. He’s hardly even begun to come down from it when Naruto claims his mouth in a saccharine kiss filled with so much passion that he is powerless against the surge of emotions he’s been trying to suppress.

His chest is heavy and light at the same time, and more tears form, falling to his ears as he and Naruto shudder together, their mouths moving together languidly as they forget to even breathe. Sasuke is nothing but a being of want. He wants. He wants all of this and so much more, he wants this forever.

Naruto breaks the kiss to gasp for air, his arms snaking underneath Sasuke, one to hold him at the waist and the other to cradle his head. Sasuke savors the skin to skin contact, holding on tight to return the embrace. His eyes don’t stop weeping, the vigorous vortex of love and heartbreak forcing its way out as Naruto holds him like he’s fragile.

Soft lips touch his ear. “I love you, Sasuke.”

Sasuke’s heart lurches.

“I love you so much,” Naruto whispers. “I love you so much that it hurts. So bad.”

Sasuke grits his teeth against the urge to break down, turning his face away from the way Naruto nuzzles him. There’s a lump forming in his throat, and the tears come even faster, blurring his vision. He makes the mistake of trying to breathe through his mouth, and the stuttering intake of air quickly turns into a pathetic sob. He can’t stop once he starts, taking his hand away from Naruto’s burning skin to cover the way he cries.

“I’m sorry,” Naruto says hastily, and Sasuke hates the noise he makes when he slips out of him, leaving him empty and bereft. Naruto strokes his hair. “Sasuke, I’m sorry. I won’t take it back—because I mean it—but I’m sorry. I should’ve—”

“What exactly are you fucking sorry for, asshole?” Sasuke says, a moment away from yelling, anything to cover up the hideous feeling gnawing ferociously at his insides. He nudges Naruto’s shoulder and Naruto takes the hint, backing off but never straying too far. Robbed of his body warmth, Sasuke chances looking at Naruto who’s now lying next to him, and the expression on his face is pitiful.

His electric blue eyes are filled with sadness and hurt, a mirror of Sasuke’s eyes whenever he lets himself delve into the despair he tries to keep locked away. It makes Sasuke feel awful. And at the same time, what right does Naruto have to look this heartbroken? He’s the one laid up with Sasuke even though he committed to someone else. Sasuke can’t fucking hear that Naruto loves him if nothing will ever change.

“Did I ruin everything?” Naruto asks miserably.

“Answer my fucking question, Naruto,” Sasuke says, sitting up and covering his crotch with the dirty blanket when he feels Naruto’s come steadily leaking out of him. He wants to feel shame, the humiliation that comes with being the other person, but it’s Naruto. He’s the ever-burning flame and Sasuke is a helpless moth.

Naruto sits up too—without bothering to cover himself. Sasuke has to resist the urge to look.

“I…” Naruto stammers, suddenly interested in the fabric of his pillowcase. He gnaws on his plump bottom lip. “I just…”

“I know you know exactly what you’re sorry for. Don’t make me tell you, Naruto. You’re always so willing to share your thoughts any other time.”

“I’m sorry for putting you through this. I’m sorry that I was too cowardly to pursue you in the way that I wanted. My love for you is different from my love for Hinata.”

Sasuke winces hearing her name.

“I love you in a way that makes me insane. It’s been that way since we were genin, and it only got stronger during the time we spent apart. I missed you with everything within me, to the point I cried in my sleep. And even now, when I’m with someone else, I spend the entire time thinking about how much I wish you were there with me. I’m sorry, Sasuke. I never wanted our first time to be…under this circumstance.”

“It seems like you were fine with it not ever happening,” Sasuke interjects. He knows he’s being an asshole, too.

“I never thought it could! I never thought I could have you like this. When all I hear around me is that I should find a wife, that not only is it good for diplomacy but I also should because she loves me and because she’s nice, I just…went along with it—”

“Even though you know that I love you more?” Sasuke says without thinking.

Naruto’s eyes widen. For once in his life, he’s speechless.

“Get that dumb look off your face.” Sasuke turns away, his ears burning brightly. Naruto loves him, and now Naruto knows for sure that Sasuke loves him, too. The emotions in Sasuke’s chest are at violent conflict with one another. The sadness of not being first will take time to disperse, but the flustered joy from Naruto’s confession is there to cushion it.

Sasuke knew it never could have been easy for them. They’re both men, and Naruto is the beloved war hero, child of heroes, guaranteed to be the Seventh Hokage, and Sasuke is the last Uchiha, a former international terrorist and defected ninja, who is still looked at warily. But nothing has ever been easy for the two of them.

For Naruto to chase after him for years, even after Sasuke disgraced their bond, for Naruto to go after Orochimaru if it meant getting closer to Sasuke, for Naruto to sacrifice his arm in order to stop Sasuke, Sasuke is deeply hurt that Naruto had chosen the easy way out for this.

But Naruto has been the one chasing since the beginning. It’s not fair to him. It was Sasuke’s turn to chase, and he instead chose to run away. Again.

“Sasuke…” Naruto’s hand finds his, and Sasuke lets their fingers curl together. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

Sasuke wants to tell him that he should’ve known. Again, he chooses honesty. “I’m a coward, too. A coward that didn’t realize how cowardly I was until I learned you were with someone else. I then didn’t want to ruin a good thing for you.”

“Sasuke.” Naruto squeezes his hand, a plea for attention. Sasuke gives it to him, melting at the sight of earnest eyes. Sasuke is almost scared that his love for Naruto will kill him. “There will never be a thing better than you. You are the best thing to ever happen to me.”

Sasuke can’t look at him anymore. It’s too much.

“Hmph,” is what he offers Naruto as he lies down, facing away from him. Their hands remain locked together. “I won’t be your mistress.”

Sasuke is aware that this conversation may best be had when they’re not naked, covered in each other’s come, but it’s too late now. He ought to know for sure that once he steps out of this apartment for the day, will he ever come back.

“You have always come between me and my desire to have it all, don’t continue to be an obstacle for this, too,” Sasuke adds.

Naruto chuckles, but it sounds forced. “That’s an interesting way of telling me to choose.”

Sasuke looks at him. “I can be concise. Me or her?”

“You. Any day, you. My heart has always belonged to you.”

“Okay. Then clean me up.”

This time, Naruto’s chuckle sounds genuine. And when he drapes himself over Sasuke, the kiss tastes sweet.