Chapter Text
It had been a very odd week for Lan SiZhen.
With the resentful spirits at the Mo Mansion, Senior Mo, who was said to have been mad, helped them figure out their situation. That same Senior Mo, hiding behind Lan WangJi, scowled at him as the head of the Jiang Sect flashed his purple whip in his hands.
How things turned out this way, Lan SiZhen couldn't tell you.
Which was why he couldn't find it within himself to be too surprised when another Mo XuanYu suddenly popped up before them.
The new Mo XuanYu blinked at the group he had spawned in front of, confusion evident in his gaze. "What the fuck?" he muttered, cocking his head to the side. "Damm it, I think I put in the wrong timeline..."
Senior Mo gawked at him. "You- you are?"
"Hm?" the clone? twin? Lan SiZhen wasn't sure how to address him and turned his head to glance at him. "Oh? Would you look at that? It's Wei- I MEAN! It's my beloved twin brother!! Hi!!" he beamed, bouncing over to hug the confused cultivator. "Look like you finally escaped our good ole aunt hm? Tell me, did ya finally kill her? Was her death exciting? Did you cut off Uncle's di- OW WHAT THE FUCK!?"
Ok, now Lan SiZhen was extra confused, because why were there two Jiang Wanyins!?
The clone??? twin??? picked up the other Mo Xuanyu and tossed him over his shoulder, ignoring the squawks of annoyance that left his lips. "Nope. We're not dealing with this now," he muttered, not even glancing at the group as he turned around to walk away.
"WHAT THE FUCK!? LET ME GO JIANG CHENG!"
"No, before you mess things up even more."
"Mess things up!? How DARE YOU!? You would attack a woman like this!?"
The other Jiang Cheng paused and sighed, then used his hand to whack Mo Xuanyu's head. "Was it not you that said 'Gender Equality?'"
"Owwwiiieee." Mo Xuanyu whined, then as he was carried away, he glanced at Senior Mo and gave him a big smile and a wave. "Hi!! I hope you have fun with my body!! And please leave the closet you're the only one who hasn't realized you like men yet! Oh, and we'll see you cuties soon!!!"
"Shut up and let's go!"
"I'm reporting you to sister-in-law you brute!"
. . . . .
"What the fuck?" Jiang Cheng (the original??? just what was going on??) blinked confused, the whole forest silent.
"Jiaaangggg Cheeeennnngggggg" Mo Xuanyu whined, pouting as he was carried on his brother in law back. "Lemme goooo."
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"I'll give you food?"
"No."
"Ugh. You're no fun."
"My job is to make sure you don't fuck things up, so I can't be 'fun'."
"But my job is to fuck things up!" Mo Xuanyu huffed again, fiddling with Yue. his lovely flute, as he was placed on the back of a cart, Jiang Cheng climbing in behind him. "Isn't that why everyone actually allowed me to do this anyway?! To try and fuck things up here!"
Jiang Cheng sighed, leaning his head against the cart. "Hmm that is true. . . .but you're a Jin, our definition of fuck things up is completely different. So I have rules for you-"
"Rules!? You're not fair!-"
"No kissing Wei Wuxian and Lan Wanji-"
"Well yeah. I'm already married to one version!"
"Rule number 2, you can't randomly adopt one of the kids-"
"WHAT!?"
"Rule 3, no, and I mean no, Emperor's Wine."
"NO!!!"