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“Wakey wakey, eggs and bakey, baby.”
Logan wakes up to the smell of pancakes and slightly burnt bacon, along with the smell and touch of Wade. He peers an eye at the merc and grunts. An obvious no if you’re a pro at wolverine noises- *cough* Wade *cough*
Wade lays down with Logan and pets his hair, “c’mon, peanut. Remember what you said last weekend?” Logan huffs out in his deep raspy morning voice, “I said a lot of shit last weekend..”
Wade giggles. “Indeed you did, peanut. Whoo! And they call me “merc with the mouth”; the mouth on you is insane, wolvie baby.”
Logan groans and attempts to raise his hand at Wade and takes a swipe at him. He failed if the rambling of Wade was any indication of that.
“Hey! No swiping, you little swiper. Bad kitty.”
A silence gets past, but Wade is now pulling Logan up from the pull-out couch.
“Come on Logan, at least wake up fully so we can talk about our plans today. Super, super rough plans that will hopefully not lead to a severe mental breakdown of anyone.”
Logan looks at Wade like he’s insane and gets up from the couch to head to the bathroom, leaving a little smooch on the merc’s forehead.
“I’ll serve you plate !!” A grunt is thrown out.
As Logan is in the shower, he tries to rake through the conversations he had with Wade on Saturday, since Sunday was filled with… well.
Sex.
—
They were eating takeout after a mission with a mutant from another universe- yes they are working with the TVA, they drive a hard bargain. And the money is worth it.
Wade decided to open his big mouth, as one decides to do, and asks Logan a very controversial question.
“So Wolvie- and don’t claw me for this but how would you feel about meeting this world’s x-men?”
“…”
“… Wolvie? Hello? Earth to- YOWCH! I SAID NO CLAWING YOU BITCH.”
“Shut the fuck up.” “That is NO WAY to talk to your sweet and hot boyfriend-“ “I said shut up.”
Logan sighs and thinks about the question.
He knows that, from Wade, every X-men is alive and well. Maybe a little older, like professor or Hank, but alive. And as much as he wants to meet them and to see their faces, he still has nightmares about what he did (not do) in his world. He fears that seeing them will cause him to lash out and run like the coward he is. But.. maybe meeting them will bring some relief and maybe comfort, knowing that some version of them is alive.
Logan looks at Wade and moves their food to the table, laying his head on wades lap.
“Ooh, cuddly kitty. So, what’cha say baby girl? Ready to meet them?” The mutant sighs again and slightly nods his head, opening his mouth to say, “Maybe.. we can go on Friday? We’re free that day and.. and if something goes wrong, we have the weekend to- I don’t know. Do something else. I guess..”
Wade lets out a soft smile and gives a soft peck to Logan’s head, “it’s your decision, baby. I’ll be with you no matter what. Like a fly to light.”
Logan chuckles and grabs Wade’s hand tight. “Thanks, bub.”
—
Fuck.
It’s Friday. THAT Friday.
Logan hits his head on the shower wall and promptly freaks out.
He could cancel, say he’s not ready. Wade would understand, but that means he would just have to do it anyway eventually.
He lets out a groan and gets out the shower, toweling himself off before leaving the bathroom.
He sees Wade holding out clothes.
“I hope you weren’t finger blasting yourself without me, pookie. Also here, I bought you comfort clothes.”
Despite the crude words, Logan feels his tummy flutter at the sweet gesture of Wade. (Who truly does know and care about him enough to know what clothes Logan favors the most.)
Taking the clothes, Logan gives Wade a smooch in thanks and takes them to the bathroom to finish getting ready.
A couple minutes later and they’re both at the dinner table sitting thigh to thigh and shoulder to shoulder with each other, eating their slightly cold and burnt breakfast.
It’s silent despite the chewing and occasional talking, Althea being out of town with her girlfriends on some girl get away- “If I have to deal with you motherfuckers sucking face again, I’m gonna kill myself.” “Love you too Al!!! Have fun!!”-
Mary Puppins is sitting near their feet begging for food, even though she ate her fancy dog food and had a pancake already.
Wade coughs and puts his fork down, looking a little nervous. “So peanut, did you decide on what to do? You wanna raid the X-mansion, have a breakdown, and proceed to fuck nasty in the woods orrrr get fucked and have this conversation for another time. Just say the words, baby. You are the princess and I am the mere maiden that will serve you to the ends of time.” “Wade.” “Yes, my lady?” “Just stop.” “Yes, my lady.”
Logan drinks the rest of his soda- he stopped drinking alcohol last month, the withdrawal has been insane but the sex is amaze-balls, and gives a response like it’s hard for him to talk.
“I decided to go and get it over with. I rather see them on my terms and not out of no where or some shit. Plus, you’ll be with me so I think I’ll be okay..” Wade grins widely and throws his arms over Logan’s shoulders. “Of course I’ll be with you my baby, even if you tell me not to.”
“If I ever tell you that, it’s not me.” Logan chuckles out. “Same with me, peanut.”
Wade gets up to put the dishes in the sink and proceeds to pick Mary up. “Did you want to take Puppins or should we leave her home? She’s basically a service dog, minus the looks and license but who cares.” Logan thinks about it.
Mary has helped both of them calm down from panic attacks or nightmares, so..
“Yeah, we can take her. She knows how to handle herself and I think she’d be a great help.” He grabs her and pets her head. “Isn’t that right, you little rat.” Mary Puppins barks like she agrees and tries to lick Logan’s face, but is unsuccessful when he moves.
Wade laughs at her puppy eyes and goes to grab her harness and leash, along with their shoes.
“Well come on, peanut. I told Tin Man that we’d be there a little after 12 and it’s 1. Chop chop! Time to get this over with.”
Logan sighs for the twentieth time and prepares to take a huge step.
—-
Logan is fidgeting with Wade’s hand as they sit in the backseat of Dopinder’s cab. Wade was quietly chatting with Dopinder, something about his sister’s affair with their cousin or some shit- Logan isn’t paying attention.
What he is paying attention to is the familiar trees and landscape of the mansion, his heart racing faster the closer they get to the front.
The conversation has now quieted and Wade is picking up Mary Puppins and putting her into the baby holder that he has secured onto his chest. Logan doesn’t know why he let Wade buy that thing, though he likes the domesticity of it- like Mary is their daughter and- okay stop it.
Logan is taken out of his thoughts when Wade cups his face and makes Logan look at him. “Hey, you got this alright? You say you want to go and we go.” Logan exhales a shaky breath, “I might try to run, might even fight you if I have to. You’re the only one who can stop me, so do whatever you want in order to stop me from running. I’m serious.” Logan pleads with his eyes unknowingly, making Wade soften his face.
“Peanut, what’s your safe word, no don’t stop me- shut up. What’s a word you’d never say in a totally normal conversation, that way I know to stop whatever is happening.”
Logan nearly cries his fucking heart out at the soft voice Wade is using. He looked outside the window and thought silently, while Wade just looked at him and waited.
“Shawarma for now… we don’t really use it unless we’re eating it.”
Wade smiles and nods.
“Ok Wolvie,” he sighs, “Maximum effort.”
Logan chuckles, “Let’s fucking go.”
—-
*knock knock knock*
The door is opened by Colossus, who lets them in after a few greetings.
He let them know that all the main x-men are in the main room, among the many main rooms. (The main x-men being Jean, Scott, Charles, Hank, Ororo, Kurt, rogue, and of course Laura, Yukio, and Ellie(NTW).)
Standing outside the door, Logan’s senses are overstimulated by the smells and sounds coming from the room. Wade, as if sensing his discomfort, pulls him in by the waist. “Just say the word.” He says with a hushed voice. Logan breathes and nods, looking a little more confident.
As soon as they open the door, the room is eerily quiet. Though Logan doesn’t dwell on it when he’s tackled by three people. He smells Laura, Yukio, and Ellie- who was forced to get up. Laura beams up at him, Yukio giving a small smile, and Ellie glaring at him like he killed her cat. Logan chuckles and rubs his cheek on each of them, putting his scent on them and vice versa.
“Hey girls! Wade is right here too you know!!”
“Shut it, Wilson.” Ellie says, in the middle of Logan’s ministrations. “Yeah I love you too, you grouchy bitch. Oof! What was that for, peanut?!”
Logan glares at Wade for the name calling. “Be nice to her.” Wade pouts and glares at the grungy mutant who smirks at him.
A cough startles all of them, making them look at the Professor, who coughed to get their attention. Logan flushes and hides behind Wade just a tiny bit, who gladly used his own body as a shield. “What up, wheels? How’s life been for ya?” Wade says walking towards the table.
Logan quickly waddles behind him, quietly whispering to the girls to sit back down at the couch.
“Hello Mr. Wilson. Logan.” Charles nods politely at them. “Please take a seat.” And as they do, right across from the professor and awfully close to Scott and Jean (ouch.), they’re reminded of Mary Puppins who snorts awake from her nap.
“oop, sorry girl. Papa Wade forgot you were there.” *yip yip* Mary is then removed from the harness and is given to Logan, for him to calm down. Logan just looks at her, gives her a kiss, and then cradles her like a baby.
“How cute. Anyways!! Hellooooo, fellow X-Men. It is I, Deadpool- please, don’t clap. And here I present to you, the Queen of Blowjobs, the Wolverine.” Wade announces loudly, literally no one clapping but instead looking at him like he just killed Puppins. Logan snorts and looks at Wade, “Queen? I thought I was princess? And really, blowjobs?” “Nah, you will always be a queen in my eyes. And dare I need to say more about blowjobs? I was blown the fuck away last night, pun intended- ow! Stop fucking hitting me, you cunt.” “Then stop saying stupid shit, you pervert.” Logan growls out, his teeth bared and cheeks flushed red. Before Wade can retort back, Mary jumped out of Logan’s arms and ran towards Laura who happily gave her attention.
“MaryPuppins, you traitor!!” Wade yells out, his attention grabbed at the amount of eyes on him and Logan. He clears his throat, pulls Logan closer to him by his chair and stage-whispers, “why does it feel like I’m meeting the parents? Or better yet, marriage counseling?” Logan huffs, “we’re not married, you dumb fuck.” “Not yet, peanut.” Logan rolls his eyes and makes eye contact with Rogue, whose eyes are watery and there’s a small frown yet smile on her face.
His heart tugs inside of him and he makes a sign for her to get up, to which she practically leaps at him and they hug each other tight. “I- I missed you so much!” Rogue sobs out, her chest heaving harshly. Logan feels a tear slip out, “shh.. it’s okay.” He should probably tell her he’s not her exact Logan, but he understands where she’s coming from because fuck, he missed his Rogue too. Suddenly, he feels more hands on him. Logan looks up and sees Bobby, who looks older than he did in his universe.
Logan smiles and brings Bobby in for a hug too, chuckles escaping him as his heart bursts in happiness and relief.
The moment is over when Wade decides to yap again.
“Wow, honey badger. How many kids do you have, you little minx?” Logan laughs wetly and pulls away from the hugs. “Biologically? One now. But in my universe, I was always surrounded by kids.” He says as he pats Rogue and Bobby on the head, smiling warmly.
Wade feels butterflies in his stomach at the way Logan looks, just.. so happy and content. He’s glad that he managed to make Logan do this, he hopes that the rest of the meeting goes as smooth.
The two kids, or adults now, sit back down and Logan sighs. He suddenly feels tired from all the emotions, but he still has to greet more people. Wades “Wolvie sensor” went off and held Logan’s hand tight, giving him a huge grin when Logan smiles at him.
“Okay, who’s next for the Wolvie Fan Meeting? Please, don’t get up all at once.” Wade says dramatically, using his free hand to hold up in the air as if to stop the x-men from getting up. (No one even moved.)
“Still eccentric as ever, Wilson.” Scott Summers said, his tone a little too rough to be kind, but Wade just strides past it. “Of course, Summers. You wouldn’t know anything about it because you’re boring.” He sings out. Scott just scoffs.
Logan blinks cutely between Wade and Scott,
“Ya’ll know each other?” Wade looks at him. “Of course, peanut. Summers here loved my company last time I was here, didn’t cha?”
Scott scowls. “No, I didn’t. You just waltzed right in here, by the way. I had to stop you from destroying property.” Wade just scoffs at him and waves his hand. “Noooo, I totally remember you asking to hang out. And what property? Everything was fine.”
“Logan’s property. You were in his room, remember?” Wade blinks once. Twice. And then “oooooh… yeah I remember that. I was just wondering around.” He shrugs it off and pouts.
Logan snorts and flicks Wades forehead. “So you were always nosey and obsessed with wolverines?” Wade winces, but bounces back and bats his non-existent eyelashes at him.
“Of course, pookie. 2008’s Sexiest Man Alive did wonders for me and my right hand.” Logan groans and pushes Wade away. “Just shut up already.”
“Never. You know this already, baby. I’m either quiet or talking, and we both know which one you love.” Wade says, his voice raspy which makes Logan flush.
“Okay! As much as it’s nice to see y’all flirt- which is not nice at all, we have a meeting.”
Scott grunts out, making Logan cough awkwardly.
“Right. Well um…”
Logan is helpless.
Luckily he has Wade with him.
“What do y’all want to know? You wanna how Logan’s here? How we saved the world? How we fought for four rounds and proceeded to fuck nasty till sunrise? Oh! How about why we’re together!! I bet y’all been waiting for that one. How about-“
Wade is stopped by Charles who raises his hand and chuckles.
“Please just explain the basics.”
Wade nods and opens his mouth, but closes it again. He repeats it twice, each time looking confused.
“Really, bub? How do you not know what to explain?” Logan growls out, frustrated with Wade. “I’m sorry okay! I was expecting to be able to rant everything out and hope it made sense!!” Wade whines out and bangs his head on the table.
Logan sighs and looks at Charles.
“Basically.. Wade found out that this universe was set to end because this world’s anchor being died, that anchor being being this world’s Logan. Wade being Wade decided that in order to save his universe, he could just find another Wolverine.” “Hey!” “Shut it. He told me that he met plenty of wolverine variants and that they all attacked him, but for some reason I didn’t. um. Anyway. Long story short, we fought against Cassandra Nova in the void, which resulted in-“
“Which resulted in us holding hands while Madonna played in the background!! YES!! And that is how we saved the world. You’re welcome.”
Now everyone was confused, some understood- Hank and Charles, but others were just plain lost- literally everyone else.
“Okay wait. So, you just stole another Wolverine from his universe?” Jean asked. Wade smiled proudly. “Yes. Yes, I did!” “What about his X-Men? Aren’t they worried?” Rogue asked softly.
It was so quiet that a pin could be heard if dropped.
“Well…” Wade started but he looked at Logan, who was staring off into space. “Peanut..? You okay?” Logan flinched. He shook his head and rasped out, “Shawarma.” Wade jumped up and took Logan’s head into his hands. “Okay! Okay. It’s okay, just breathe. We don’t have to talk about it.”
Logan tried to slow his breathing, he really did. But the memories of his family on the floor, blood all around them, not breathing haunted him. He felt wades touch, but it was light. He let out a little whine and stuffed his face into Wade’s neck, inhaling his scent. That seemed to calm him down, enough to where he can hear Wade talking.
“No, we’re not talking about it. If Logan doesn’t want to, I’m not making him and neither are you. End of discussion.”
His voice was deprived of any humor it usually had, meaning that Wade was serious about the topic. Logan felt cared for and loved, yet a tiny part of him felt like he didn’t deserve it. He pushed that down though, and rose his head up.
“Sorry..”
why is he apologizing? There’s nothing to apologize for, is there?
“It is alright, Logan. You will talk about your universe’s X-men when you are ready. Let’s talk about something else, shall we?”
The professor’s eyes were warm and soft, holding understanding towards Logan situation even if he knew nothing about it. This is why Logan always felt comfortable around him, he guesses he always will be no matter the universe.
“Right. Oh yeah, chuck. Apparently you had a sister, would’ve been HAVE but um, we kinda killed her.” “Wade!” “What? He deserves to know!”
Charles is confused and asks for them to explain again. “So that Cassandra Nova chick, she’s like you yet so much more meaner and dirtier than you. And by that I mean she has the same powers as you but she literally needs to put her fingers through your brain to be able to read your thoughts.” Wade shivers violently. “I can still feel her fingers, and not in the good way.” He blanches.
“Well then. That is information I did not know.”
Logan frowns. “Sorry, we would’ve attempted to let y’all meet- eventually. But she tried destroying the whole world, so we had to stop her.” Charles smiles small, “that is certainly alright. You did what you had to do, I don’t blame you for that.”
Wade whistles. “Wow, chuck. You are giving grandpa vibes and I love you for that.” Logan chuckles and rubs his cheek against Wades as Charles gives a laugh. “I’ll take that as a compliment.”
Logan continues to cover Wade in his scent, his instincts being in over drive as he gets all his cuteness aggression out- as Wade likes to call it.
“Okay, angel baby. My cheeks are not running away, careful with the scars!”
Logan just purrs softly, and rests his head on Wades shoulder.
“God, you’re cute when you’re like that but it feels like i got carpet burn.” Wade rubs his cheek a little and smiles at how cute Logan looks. He coos at Logan who basks in the attention. “Who’s a cute wittle wolvie? You are! Oh, yes you are!” He runs his hand through Logan’s little kitty ears of hair, making him purr louder.
Everyone is looking in wonder at how carefree Logan is with Wade, knowing that their Logan was always on guard and never certainly let anyone talk to him like how Wade is.
Hank decides to ask a few questions, his scientist side popping through.
“I see that this Logan purrs, is that apart of your mutation or a thing from your universe?”
Logan stops purring and shyly looks at Hank, “it’s part of my mutation.. I’m very much like the actual Wolverine animal just in a human form.” He mumbles loud enough. Hank hums thoughtfully. “Do you get like this around others or just Wade?” Logan tries to answer but his tongue is heavy in his mouth.
Wade to the rescue again!
“So far, it’s only me- well besides Laura and the girls but that’s mainly because she’s his daughter, technically and a fellow wolvie of course. I’m guessing that around kids, Logan’s instincts tell him to mother hen them. But yeah, my little peanut here has been purring one month after moving in with me. I love taking in strays, I couldn’t handle this poor little cutie out on the streets.” Wade dramatically says as he pets Logan’s face, making him growl softly and attempt to bite his fingers. Wade scolds him exactly like this morning. “Bad kitty! How many times do I have to tell you not to bite me!”
Logan just grins and giggles into Wades neck.
Suddenly, Logan’s hair on his neck and arms stands up as he feels someone loom over him. He’s turning around and snarling at them before they can fully touch him, trying to protect Wade with his body. It’s just Hank trying to see how Logan would react to him, and he got a reaction all right.
He raises his hand up in mock surrender and quietly walks back to his seat. “Sorry, sorry. Didn’t mean to startle you.” He apologizes quietly, while Wade calms Logan down by cupping his throat and whispering into his ear.
“You’re okay, baby. Hank was just trying to see something, and you showed him alright. It’s alright, just relax. Nothing is going to hurt you or me, not when you’re doing so good at protecting me. Yeah, there you go. Good kitty.”
Logan slowly calms down, going back to purring and huffs out a breath. “No one is allowed to touch me besides Wade and Laura. Not without my consent anyways. Sorry Hank, you startled me.” Hank just smiles, “it’s alright, it was my fault. Though it is interesting how in tuned you and Wade are, even with your animalistic traits.”
He raises an eyebrow and Logan knows what he’s implying.
Him and Wade have a silent conversation with their eyes.
“That’s because we’re.. dating. And my mutant side claimed him as my mate.”
Logan rushes out and blushes again as he quickly covers his face. Even Wade lets out a little shy chuckle, “surprise!” He exclaims with little jazz hands.
“Literally no one is surprised.”
“Shut up Laura! Let me have this!”
“Don’t tell her to shut up you asshole.”
“Oh don’t start honey badger.”
“Start what? You started it first.”
“Um, technically your daughter did.”
“Technically you need to shut the fuck up.”
“Oh so you can tell me to shut up but I can’t tell her to shut up? This is boyfriend cruelty- matter of fact, this is MATE cruelty. Yup I went there. Logan, I’m disappointed in you. We’re mates and you’re telling me to shut up? Hm hm hm. Tch tch tch. Shame on you, baby girl. Shame. On. You.”
Logan growls and unleashes his claws threateningly.
“Say one more fucking word.”
Wade smiles innocently.
“For shame- ack! Fucking asshole!”
Claws are in bedded into his chest as he bleeds out and struggles to breathe.
“That was two words.” *snikt*
A wet sound is heard as Logan pulls his claws free from Wades body and pulls them back into his knuckles.
Wade gasps for air and his wounds heal up in no time. “Fuck, I think you punctured my lung.” Logan shrugs, “you’re fine.”
“Y’all are so helpless, oh my god.”
“And yet we still pull bitches. AH IM SORRY! MERCY! MERCY!”
Logan just looks disappointed. “You need to learn how to be quiet.”
Wade pouts at Logan, pawing at his chest. “Wade. Don’t.”
Continuing to pout, Wade reaches for Logan’s chest and manages to get one squeeze before he’s out of his seat running to the other side of the room where Charles is sitting.
“ I fucking said don’t, Wade Wilson!”
“Ooh govy name. I’m sorry baby, but I can’t help it, you know that!”
Logan growls. “Keep it in your fucking pants, you freak.”
“Oh I’ll keep it in my pants if you’re in them- OH SHIT!! NO NO! IM SORRY! WOLVIE STOP!”
And as they’re running around, one trying to live and one trying to kill, the others are just sighing in disappointment, smiling happily, or full on belly laughing at the scene they’re getting.
Eventually, Logan tries to stop killing Wade as they hit the floor, Wade tripping out of no where, out of breath and looking into each other’s eyes.
Wade smiles brightly and so does Logan, whose cheeks are flushing yet again. Either from running or from the look Wade is giving, he doesn’t know. All he knows is that when Wade kisses him, and all he hears are “aw’s”- and the gags- from the others, Logan knows he chose the right man to mate with.
…
“Get a room!”
“God Damn it Laura! Read the room!”
…