Chapter Text
[Lake Boy has opened Senior Knights Chat]
Lake Boy: @ Cai
Lake Boy: 1. Change my user back now
Lake Boy: 2. Why does Gareth know about sex?
Cai: 1. Do it urself im busy 2. He asked.
Gaywain: I’m sorry what
Gaywain: @ Cai get back here and elaborate.
Funny Man: Ooo, Gawain found a thesaurus.
[Lake Boy had changed his name to Lance]
Lance: Not right now, Dinadan.
Cai: Gods guys I’m in a meeting
Lance: I don’t care. E X P L A I N.
Cai: Beaumains asked where babies come from. I answered.
Lance: Why are you like this?
Cai: An entire childhood of no one being willing or able to explain why my brother was more important than me
Cai: lol
Lance:....
Gaywain:.....
Funny Man:....
Gaywain: You realize adding ‘lol’ doesn't make it sound better, right?
Cai: I have the second best childhood in this group chat it’s not that bad really.
Cai: I just don’t like to lie to people when I don’t have to. Also Beau is the noisiest page i’ve ever worked with, if I had to make up lies about things that didn’t 100% require it i’d get nothing else done.
Cai: Speaking of which, the King of Norway just got here
[Cai is offline.]
Funny Man: Ok he’s gone
Funny Man: @ Bedwyr read up
Bedwyr: I’ll make sure he’s okay when he gets done.
Bedwyr: Lance, please calm down it’s probably better Gareth learned from Kay than you.
Gaywain: I mean, he’s got you there Lance
Lance: I
Lance: I mean yes but still
Lance:....
Lance: Dinadan why do you have popcorn?
Funny Man: I was expecting this to be fun
Funny Man: and now it’s sad but I already made the popcorn
[Direct Messaging with Beaumains and Sir Grouchy]
Beaumains: hey what does 69 mean?
Beaumains: Mordred keeps laughing whenever he sees it, but he won’t tell me why
Sir Grouchy: ask your knight
Beaumains: but i think it’s something adult and then he’ll think im doing drugs or smth
Sir Grouchy: …..
Sir Grouchy is typing…
[Dead Folks Chat]
Lot: Uther your kid’s being weird again
Uther: It’s Ector’s fault he raised the him
Morgause: Is he supposed to be… dancing? I’m confused.
Pellinore: And he still hasn’t had any heirs. Such a disgrace.
Tristan: Good god what’s wrong with you people?
Igraine: They’re almost universally terrible people.
Tristan: Uhm, what?
Ector: Here kid
Morgause: Hmm, where’d they go?
Uther: Who cares we were making fun of my heir
[Unfinished Business]
Gatekeeper: Here we go. No more creeps.
Tristan: oh, this one lets you change your names!
[Tristan has changed their name to Whispers In The Reeds]
True Queen: Nice one :)
Whispers In The Reeds: So what was the deal back there?
True Queen: General death chat. So we got stuck with all the bad people.
Gatekeeper: Not all bad there’s Uthur
Gatekeeper: Wait shit sorry…. Morgause?
True Queen: Nah, she was almost as bad as Lot. Just not as physical.
Gatekeeper: Sorry haven’t had the full view as long.
True Queen: It’s fine. They’re all good at hiding it.
Whispers In The Reeds: Hiding what? I mean, you already said they were bad but…
Gatekeeper: Lot and Morgause were both abusive as hell, Pellinore ran out on all but one son and let’s just say Lamorak dosen’t inspire much faith in his father’s parenting skills
Gatekeeper: Sweet kid, don’t get me wrong, but yikes
Whispers In The Reeds: oh shit. Ig the orkneys make more sense now.
Whispers In The Reeds: I always thought they were just like that
True Queen: No one’s ‘just like that’
True Queen: anyways uther was less than great too
Most Glorious Lord: Who’s the new guy?
Whispers In Ther Reeds: Sir Tristan of Cornwall
Whispers In The Reeds: and you are?
Most Glorious Lord: Better idea
Most Glorious Lord: @ everyone role call!
Gatekeeper: Ector/ Cynyr
True Queen: Igraine
Two Swords: Balin
Double Vision: Balan
Pellinore Fucking Sucks: Sir Miles
Most Glorious Lord: Gorlois
Whispers In The Reeds: Dang
Whispers In The Reeds: Not a lot of people here
Two Swords: Yet
Double Vision: I like to think of that as a good thing
Double Vision: Like there’s so much good still in the world maybe they can fix the mess our generation left them with
Pellinore Fucking Sucks: Do you even watch the living anymore? I mean I love Griflet more then life itself obviously, but that court is a mess