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Sae and Makoto were not on speaking terms for the past month or so.
Well, it’s not as if she did it on purpose. She merely pissed off her little sister by being brutally honest with her opinions on the subject of the holidays, and for refusing to cooperate with Makoto’s plans to properly celebrate a certain occasion with their newly expanded family unit.
You see, Sae Niijima hated Christmas.
It was such an asinine, annoying, irritating, useless, pointless and time wasting occasion.
Utterly detestable.
Makoto, on the other hand, was a Christmas fiend whenever December arrived. The well mannered, smart and elegant girl she helped raise would suddenly do a complete one hundred eighty turn, and go wild with excitement and expectations for the celebrations and traditions.
Their father used to indulge in every single one of Makoto’s Christmas wishes and whims. Sae was forced to go along because she was always outnumbered, but it didn’t change the fact that she loathed the occasion.
The problem was, it was not only Makoto that was pissed off at her as of the moment. Everyone else was utterly obsessed with the holidays, even Sae’s own girlfriend, the most wonderful, hottest doctor in town.
She too, took severe issues with Sae’s opinions on the matter.
Which reminds her… That makes Tae a huge traitor in her books. Isn’t she supposed to be avant-garde, a goth counterculture icon? Why the hell is her otherwise sarcastic, acid, dark comedy loving girlfriend also disappointed in her for hating on Christmas?
She just didn’t see the appeal, was all. Everything was plastic, artificial and insincere. It was an occasion marked by fake sentiments and heavily exploited by endless consumerism.
She was not being a nihilist, nor a cynic. What she thought about Christmas was merely the brutal truth nobody wanted to accept.
And because of that, she was sitting home alone on Christmas Eve, until her asshole brother-in-law just knocked on her door and interrupted her quiet, sensible, perfectly mundane evening.
“Excuse me, is this the gateway to hell?” He asked with a mischievous grin.
Sae immediately slammed the door on his face, and turned away. She was still pissed off at him for defiling her precious little sister and irresponsibly getting her with child while they were both still in college.
Before that point, she respected him and they had their post interrogation rapport to lean on, since it was thanks to him and the rest of his team that she changed into a better human being.
But he still went and fucked it all up, and the (almost literal) shotgun wedding she forced him and Makoto to have was not enough to placate her ire.
“Sae! Open the door!” He called out, voice deranged as he emulated a slasher movie villain on purpose.
“Get the fuck out of my doorstep, Ren. I’m not in the mood for your bullshit tonight!” She barked out, already used to (and always irritated with) his asinine behaviors.
“Come on. It’s urgent. It’s about Makoto and the babies.”
She immediately bolted the door open.
“Ten seconds, and she better not be pregnant again so soon or I’m going to commit manslaughter on your precious Christmas evening.” She threatened.
“Hey, don’t worry, the twins are more than a handful already. Also, they miss their grandma Sae.” He said cheekily.
She narrowed her eyes. He often used the fact that she practically raised Makoto from a young age just to call her a hag indirectly.
“You mean those menaces you have helped spawn? They’re a single year old Amamiya. I seriously doubt they miss their aunt. They’re probably busy eating sand all day and crying your and Makoto’s ears out.”
“And crawling. And babbling. One of them is also very fond of puking on Morgana’s food bowl.” He added, his stupid nerdy face splitting in a smug smile.
“...Unbelievable.” She muttered, her face full of revolt at the mental image.
Sae finally sighed and stepped aside to let him pass.
Ren grinned devilishly as he entered her apartment. “Come on, Lucifer. I know your servants in the underworld are terrified of today of all days, but even the Princess of Hell must have a heart, deep down?”
“No, they forgot to give me one of those.” She said, rolling her eyes. “Now, out with it, you clown, what has happened to my sister?”
“Well, she is fine, don’t worry. But she has been putting on a brave face for me and the rest of the family all day. Futaba and myself did our best to cheer her up, but she clearly wishes you were there.”
“No, I hate Christmas.” She said exasperatedly as she went around the house to distract herself from the pain. “Besides, she clearly doesn’t need me when she has so many people that obviously do care about it surrounding her. You guys even stole my own goddamn girlfriend for the evening.”
Ren frowned. “You can’t be serious, Sae. Of course she needs you. You’re her big sis. You’re the person that she loves the most in the world after the twins and hopefully myself.”
Sae sighed and turned to him. “Why is this honestly such a big deal? This is a fabricated occasion brought to Japan by foreigners. Besides, Jesus Christ wasn’t even born in December!”
“That’s something an anti-christ propagandist such as yourself and the legions of the deep would say, but come on. The origins don't matter here, Grinch, it’s the spirit!”
“Screw the spirit.” She told him. “Now, if there is nothing urgent going on with my sister, leave me be.”
He stared at her for a long time, then sighed as he deflated.
“Sae.” He started seriously. “Can’t you at least tell me why you hate Christmas so much you can’t bear to celebrate it with the people who love you?”
The silver haired woman looked at her pesky brother-in-law. He seemed sincere and concerned, and she felt her defenses melt as a deep hidden vulnerability hit her full force.
“... It’s just… I actually…” She tried to start.
She couldn’t. Her throat constricted a little as she remembered the pain of her first missed Christmas without her.
Ren sat down on her couch and patted the spot beside him. She shuddered out a sigh and sat down.
“Take your time, sis.” He said sincerely.
She gave him a wan, pained smile.
Memories flooded her mind’s eye. She herself, about twelve years or so, minding her cute, five year old sister, while their parents prepared the house to celebrate the joyous occasion, laughter and warmth filling the air of their home.
Her mother passed away mid December that year, leaving a shocked and grieving trio to spend Christmas Eve crying and missing her.
“My mother… She absolutely loved Christmas, you see. I’m convinced Makoto’s obsession with the date is genetic and comes purely from her, because my mother would go insane whenever December arrived.”
“She sounds wonderful. I wish I could have met your parents.”
She gave him a sad smile. “Me too, Ren-kun, me too. My mother would’ve loved your stupid jokes, and dad would’ve probably thought your recklessness is brave or something similar. He was just like you, fighting against injustice and protecting others. That is what I admire about you the most.”
“Awww Satan, thanks! I didn’t know I had qualities you appreciated.” He quipped, clearly trying to cheer her up.
“Shut up.” She grumbled.
But in response, Ren gave her a kind smile, encouraging her to say more. Sae could feel a tiny itch on the corner of her own mouth, but she tried her best to stomp the urge to curl her lips up.
She closed her eyes, letting the memories take shape and form. “You see, my mother was a music teacher. We had this tradition every year where she would play the piano on Christmas Eve for us. It was simply magical because she always had this serene, satisfied little smile on her lips while she played. It was so mesmerizing that it managed to shut up even a hyperactive Makoto.”
Sae remembered her mother inviting her to sit beside her, as she gently guided her to play their favorite Christmas tunes together. Sae wasn’t anywhere near as skilled as her mother, but she had been learning the piano since she was four, so she could hold her own competently.
The proud, happy gazes her mother gave her whenever she achieved a complicated motion were forever etched on her mind.
She opened her eyes again and saw that Ren had a small, gentle smile on his lips. “That is a beautiful memory, Sae. Why not cherish it?”
Sae felt a couple of tears form in her eyes. “It’s just so painful. I… I’m sure Makoto told you that we lost our mother in an accident, right in the middle of December. Ever since that fateful year, I haven’t felt like celebrating Christmas. It’s why I had Makoto take mother’s piano away with her when you both moved together… Maybe one or both of the twins can learn to play it when they’re older.”
“Well, I’m sure they can, especially if their auntie personally teaches them how to.” He said as he nudged her with his elbow.
Sae shook her head. “I don’t think I can play the piano ever again without breaking down.”
“Well, do you want my honest opinion?” Ren said after her sad declaration.
Sae merely looked him in the eye, and nodded
“I think you should do it anyway. I know it hurts, I know you miss your mother. I know Christmas isn’t the same without her, without her music and celebrations.” He said with confidence and kindness, trying to soothe out her pain.
The former prosecutor considered his words. It’s somewhat true, the number one reason she detested Christmas was the association the occasion had with her mother, and her no longer being around to celebrate with them. It hurts too much.
Ren put a comforting hand upon her shoulder. “But… That is why you are here, Sae. You can pass down those same traditions and celebrations to Makoto, myself and the twins. You can create new traditions with your nieces, and one day, they too will have fond memories of auntie Sae celebrating Christmas with them. Being with your family, showing your love, creating memories with them, even if it’ll ache a little down the line when we are no longer here for them… That is what Christmas is all about, Sae.”
Sae Niijima was a bit of a cold ass bitch, but at her brother's words, she broke down.
He let her cry on his shoulder as he soothed her out by rubbing comforting circles down her back.
She let herself grieve the loss of her mother all over again, and as she did so, it felt like a gaping wound in her chest was being cleaned and patched up, finally being allowed to heal and close.
“I h-hate you so much, Clown.” She whispered against his shoulder.
Ren barked out a happy laugh. “Love you too, Satan.”
She buried her face on his shirt. “Thank you, Ren-kun. I guess I needed that.”
“You’re welcome, sis.” He said softly.
Then, they parted ways and Sae wiped her tears away.
“I guess you’re right. My mother wouldn’t want me to be sad and alone on Christmas. She loved it so much… I guess I’m making her a disservice by letting myself hate it so much. She would want me to celebrate it.” She said.
Ren grinned at her. “I’m sure she would. And it’s not too late, honestly. Sure, Makoto will kill me for taking an hour for ‘running an errand’, but I’m sure she won’t mind if I show up with the best Christmas gift she could ask for.”
“Hah, is that so? I’m half tempted to let you arrive empty handed just so she may scold you after all.” Sae said gleefully.
Ren pouted. “You are such a nasty witch.”
She finally laughed. “Cry about it more, Pagliacci.”
Makoto was worried. It was getting late, and Ren was taking too long to return.
They had to start their Christmas dinner soon, as her guests were already grumbling.
Well, no, it was just Morgana complaining in truth, but she always shut him up with a glare or two.
Futaba and Sojiro were entertaining her little devil spawns Miki and Saki, whereas Tae was gracefully helping her around the kitchen.
“Please, you don’t have to do any of this, you are my guest.” She said to her sister-in-law.
Tae just waved her off. “Don’t worry Mako, you look like you need it.”
Makoto sighed and hugged herself. “I… I honestly suck at this. My dad always made it look easy…”
The doctor just chuckled in amusement. “Now, don’t be so hard on yourself, hon. ”
“I know, it’s just… My mother loved Christmas too, so I always just wanted to have the best celebration possible every year, but…”
Tae immediately snorted. “...But your grump of a sister detests the occasion.”
Makoto winced. “Yeah.”
Tae gently took Makoto by the shoulders and pushed her forward. “Go interact with your guests. I’ll take care of this mess.”
“Oh no, I can’t possibly let you do all the w-”
“No buts, Mako. Go. It’ll be fine.” The doctor told her with an encouraging smirk. “The guinea pig already did most of the work, I just have to make sure nothing burns, is all.”
The brunette sighed but then smiled at her sister-in-law with gratitude. “Okay, thank you.”
Arriving at her living room, she saw Futaba and Morgana playing with her precious babies.
“Alright there, kid?” Sojiro asked. She gave him a small smile.
“Yes, I’m just concerned with Ren. He was supposed to be here almost an hour ago already.” She said with fond exasperation.
Futaba, Morgana and Boss exchanged mischievous looks. Makoto narrowed her eyes.
“...He didn’t go on an errand, did he?”
“Well…”. Futaba trailed off. “It’s still an errand, just not the one you’re expecting.”
Makoto’s heart skipped a beat. Ren had a knack for doing miracles, but there is just no way he would manage to do that.
Unfortunately, Makoto would have to eat her own words because at that instant, she heard the click of a lock and the door of her home being opened.
“Look girls, it’s Santa!” Futaba said to the pair of excited, babbling toddlers.
“And Satan!” Echoed out the cheeky voice of her husband.
Makoto felt her heart race.
Not even a second later, her husband emerged, but he wasn’t alone.
Her sister was with him.
A hand flew to cover her mouth in disbelief and longing. She and Sae haven’t spoken to one another since November, after her big sis upset her in refusing to be at the twins’ first Christmas.
“Hey, everyone… Merry Christmas.” Sae said, a little awkward and shy.
She almost wanted to bolt out of there, but Amamiya’s encouraging grin and Makoto’s emotional reaction at seeing her held her back.
She spied her girlfriend further back, and she blushed a little as Tae gave her a little mischievous wink.
The silver haired woman stepped further into her sister’s home and greeted everyone properly, crouching down to kiss each of the twins heads, then getting back up again, and approaching her sister.
“Hey Mako, I…”
Makoto continued to stare at her, crying silently as her hands trembled in front of her. Sae got closer.
“I’m sorry. Really sorry, for not properly celebrating Christmas with you - and dad - all these years. It just hurt me a lot to do that without mom around, so I always just opted to close myself off.” The silver haired woman told her baby sister, wiping off some tears from her eyes. “But by doing that, I ended up hurting you. I just… I just hope you can forgive me. And… I’m not sure if it counts for something, but I’m here now.”
“Sis…” Makoto mumbled, then swiftly threw herself at Sae’s arms and cried.
Sae had a panicked look in her eyes, but everyone else just had happy smiles on their faces.
“H-hey, don’t cry, I’m sorry-”
“No!” Makoto protested vehemently. “They’re n-not sad tears… I… I’m just so h-happy you’re here…”
Sae softened. “Oh Makoto… I’m here now. And as long as I breathe, I’ll always be here from now onwards.”
In response, her baby sister just hugged her tighter.
Afterwards, Makoto let go of her and excitedly led her around the house, showing all the decorations they had made, and the gifts the twins would open tomorrow.
“Well, I hope you don't mind my lack of gifts. I wasn’t expecting to change my mind like that and finally celebrate again after so long… But I promise to make it up to you and the girls next year.” Sae said apologetically.
Makoto just shook her head. “I don’t care about any of that. You being here celebrating with us is the greatest gift I could have ever gotten this year.”
Sae just hugged her baby sis in response. She would get them some belated gifts just the same.
Soon after, they started dinner, singing praises to Ren’s cooking skills. Sae decided to hold back her sarcasm and urge to roast her brother in law, and just enjoy the domestic and happy atmosphere instead.
When she went into the kitchen to open another bottle of wine, Tae had slyly approached her from behind and stole a mind-numbing kiss.
“I’m proud of you, babe.” The doctor whispered when they parted ways, and then left her all alone in the kitchen, with an embarrassed, happy grin on her face.
It was a nice celebration, overall. She (and Morgana, she was sure of it) gagged multiple times as Ren and Makoto acted all lovey dovey in front of the guests, but she also laughed happily as Futaba recounted some funny tales from their Phantom Thieves days.
Sae had to admit, she missed this.
Later, as they enjoyed some delicious Christmas beverages under the heat of a nice and cozy kotatsu, Sae spied her mother’s piano in the corner of the living room.
It looked well kept and polished. Knowing Makoto, her sister had it under diligent maintenance.
“Say, Makoto…” She started, her voice filled with wonder. “Is the piano properly tuned?”
The room went silent at her question, and she saw Makoto’s eyebrows raise in question. “I believe so?”
Sae hummed to herself. Well, only one way to find out.
“Do you mind if I play us a tune?”
Her sister’s eyes widened. “You… You want to play on mother’s piano again?”
She nodded, doing her best to hold back her own strong surge of emotions. “Won’t you sit beside me?”
Makoto smiled at her as if she was the sun herself. “Of course sis… I’d love to!”
So together, both sisters sat in front of the piano. Makoto on the lower notes, and Sae on the higher pitches.
“Follow my lead. Play here.” She said as she pressed a key, to teach her the baselines of the waltz. “Here, and here.”
Makoto had the curiosity of a five year old in her face again as Sae instructed her on the movements, instead of acting like the young woman graced with motherhood that she was.
It was lovely.
She finally decided to start it. Sae pressed the first key with her right hand. It was rusty, and rough, but she soldiered on.
Together, and messily, the sisters played a poor rendition of the Christmas Waltz by Tchaikovsky, their mother’s favorite.
Beside her, Tae was gently rocking a sleepy Miki-chan, whereas beside Makoto, Ren held an energetic Saki-chan in his arms.
As she continued to play, the muscle memories of several years ago reawakened, and she expertly navigated the keys on her side.
Makoto on the other hand, tried her best, but she fucking sucked.
Sae, however, smiled encouragingly at her sister, just like their mother used to.
And in the end, the silver haired woman finally felt like she wasn’t alone. It was almost like mother was back to life, and it truly felt that she lived through her and Mako-chan again at that moment.
She cried a little, and so did Makoto, but those were happy, wonderful tears.
That night, Sae Niijima found that the Devil really was her, and by God…
She absolutely loved Christmas.